From Bw Archives 32 : 01 Feb - 08 Feb 99

[HendryTan]

02/08/99 16:54:16

Name: Spunky

My URL: Visit Me

Your Nationality: City of Atlantis

Comments:

Finale:

Day Three

One more day, and the dream could just be over. Tien's wife was due back the next day. I lay in his arms fearing for the morning to come. I wanted every of my days to be filled with Tien. But, my conscience could not let an unknowing lady suffer at the ex ense of our happiness. But yet in his arms, I felt that was where I belonged. I wanted him to be the first thing I see when I awake and the last thing I see when I slept. Anger tore within me. Why did something that is so right be ridden with GUILT?? I ha e never reflected these words in any way, but under my trembling breathe, I admitted I loved him. So soft did I speak those words, he could have scarcely heard me. But, I sure hoped he felt them.

Extract of Pablo Neruda "Night on the Island"

I have slept with you/ the whole night long,/ while the dark earth turns/ with the living and the dead,/ and when I awoke suddenly/ in the middle of the darkness/ my arm was round your waist./ Neither night nor our dreams/ could separate us./

I could not wait for fate to decide. Fickle as she is! Toying with my emotions! I had to make my own future. I slipped from his embrace while he slept. Seaching for my clothes in the dark room was proven to be a frustrating task, esp when one is trying to leave the soonest! I wondered what made me teared; the frustration from searching for my clothes, or the daunting task of leaving Tien in the middle of the night. As I quietly crept out of the door, I heard his voice from the beneath the bed covers.

Tien: "Is this how it ends?"

Nat: "I do not think that 2 years of marriage is something one could just throw aside. I want the two of you to work things out. Whatever the problem may be. If all things should fail, then you know where I am."

Ends? Was it that final? Those words pierced my heart like a fiery rod! Nonetheless, I could not have argued. I had taken the noble sacrifice to stand aside. I bore the responsibility of the affair. And I shall suffer quietly. But, still, he could have... .*sigh* And I left.

Pablo Neruda "If You Forget Me"

I want you to know one thing.

You know how it is:

if I look at

the crystal moon, the red branch

of slow autumn in my window,

if I touch

next to the fire

the insubstantial ashes

or the wrinkle body of a piece of wood,

everything brings me back to you,

as if everything that existed,

perfumes, light, metals,

were little boats steering their way

towards your islands which await me.

But nonetheless,

if little by little you stop loving me

I shall stop loving you, little by little.

If suddenly

you forget me

do not look for me,

for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you consider the wind of banners

that waves through my life

to be loose and crazy

and you decide

to leave me on the edge

of the heart in which I have my roots,

then think

that on that very day,

at that very minute,

I shall lift up my arms

and take up my roots

to look for new ground.

But

if everyday,

every minute,

you feel that you are destined for me

with relentless sweetness,

if everyday a flower

rises to your lips in search of me,

ah, my love, ah, my own,

in me all this fire is repeated,

in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,

my love feeds on your love, beloved,

and while you live it will be in your arms

without leaving mine.

Like all my affairs, they were pretty much anti-climaxed. But for these premature endings, I knew them to be the better things to do. There is no point in deluding oneself. How does one have any progress in one's life, then? I always did rather prefer to nd with a high note. In the wise words of Chris Stevens K-BEAR "Northern Exposure": "You're probably not going to believe this, and I know you probably feel pretty terrible now, but this experience is going to transmute itself. you do something like this, and it really tears you up - and eventually it becomes one of your fondest memories." Yup, you said it, Brother! Maybe it is not love lost. Think of it as love had! Yah it sure HAD me on! And it sure felt like SHIT! Love is like the Yin and Yang. It takes some balancing, but a third party could only tilt the balance. Just not meant to be. That's the eternal ecology of the love thing.

Evita "Another Suitcase in Another Hall"

Call in three months time,/ and I'll be fine, I know/ Well, maybe not that fine/ But I'll survive, anyhow./

I won't recall the names and places/ of each sad occasion,/ But that's no consolation,/ here and now./

So what happens now?/ ( Another suitcase in another hall)/ So what happens now?/ (Another picture off another wall)/ Where am I going to?/ (You'll get by, You always had before)/ Where am I going to?/ (Don't ask anymore)/

-The End-

02/08/99 16:11:51

Name: Spunky

My URL: Visit Me

Your Nationality: Never Never Land

Comments:

Part 4:

Day Two

Mezzanine was pretty crowded, but we managed to get tucked away in a nice corner where there was much privacy away from the chattering crowd. Still, we had a pretty good view of the rest from where we sat. There was a couple not far from where we were, an no prize in guessing that they were on a date. Never seen two men gazing and grinning so much at one another and laughing at every word that was spoken. They looked as if they were straight out from Men's Uno magazine. All dolled in the the most fashiona le cuts and colours. Would have said typically GQ mag's guys, but they were too much of a teddyboy. On our right were two other men in their middle age. Family men, I reckoned. I could barely listen in into their conversation, but from the little I could ake out, I suppose their dinner was an official one. That much I was interested. My eyes moved along further to the right. Seated there was a Japanese family. They were probably guests of Hyatt. What struck me was the sheer elegance of the mother. She cou dn't have been more than 35 years old. Even then, I was probably doing her injustice. Her porcelain like complexion shone so radiantly beneath the spotlight.

Nat: "Grace Kelly."

Tien: "What?"

Nat: "Grace Kelly. Look over there. The Japanese lady in the flowery dress. With the two kids. See?"

Tien was never that curious with the on-goings around him. He was always too absorbed in whatever he was doing and totally blocking out everything else that was around him. Sometimes you just have to jolt him real hard (I would usually go for his sides to send a little electric sensation up to his bustling mind) to get him back to earth! But that's Tien.

Tien: "What you would you like?"

Nat: "Why don't you do the honours. I don't know what's good here."

And he did. He ordered everything from the drinks to the starters to the main course right to the desert without a word of consultation. In a way, he's the MAN! hehe. I liked that.

Tien: "You're right. She's quite pretty, really. I'd always had this thing for Japanese girls."

Whoa! Now that I did not need to know! Should he even have eyes for another while I was still around? Could he not have devoted himself to me? Ok�Why was I getting jealous? Tien was mine. Mine for the next two days. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine! Nonetheless, th occassion did not call for a jealous outburst. I kept my composure and let it slide. Typically the conversation began with a brief summary of the day's happenings in the office. Then it was bitching about the office. Then it was over to the imaginery wor d of "what if we were our own bosses". That's when we started talking about our dreams and our hopes. We laughed and jest. Making our dreams together. Dreaming a life together. WOW! It was like we had forever together. How easy it was to forget what was t come in two days! And I did forget. I enjoyed dreaming with him. Whatever it took to make forever, I was game. Whatever it took to make it feel like forever, I, too was game. I "gamed" anything with him.

The starters arrived.

Nat: "What're these?"

Tien: "Grilled vegetables. Looks like Capisium, tomatoes, olives, erm�"

Nat: "Yah, precisely, erm. You think it's onions?"

I took a bite.

Nat: "Feels like onion, but taste of..er�.actually tastes kinda funny."

Tien sniggered. I fed him a piece of the vegetable to prove my point.

Tien: "I think it's french onions. Well it looks like onions, anyway. It's probably the sauce that you think is funny. If you don't like it, put it aside."

How could I be so ungrateful? I would never have put anything he had given aside, so I took a big bite of the vegetable and smiled. Tien sniggered again. Jesting at my childishness.

Nat: "There's a little tomato paste on your cheek."

Tien tried to lick it away, but some still remained. I pointed at my own cheeks to indicate to him where the smudge.

Tien: "Do you mind?"

And he handed me his napkin to clean the smudge. That gesture, so small as it was, but so great by all means! I might have blushed. Drunk with joy. I do not think there was much words being exchanged after that. Then again, there was no need for words. I as contented with his little gesture. I ate happily whatever was on my plate. Even the funny tasting sauce.

02/08/99 13:10:57

Name: netjumper

My Email: Email Me

Your Nationality: anyone care?

Comments:

Been very long since my last posting .... so how is everyone?

This is something I am not very proud of, but it was sure a thrill. I am not proud of it because I felt violated after what happened but when it was happening, I guess I let the pleasure of it got the better of me. Well, what happened was I went over to Batam for the weekend. I went this club downtown called Ozone. It is usually packed on weekends with both Indonesians and Chinese Indonesians. There are quite a few cute guys there and I sort of bump into one when I was getting a drink at the bar. The music was laud because they had a band playing there, so I stood up on the bar rail and bend over the bar to shout my orders. There was this Indonesian, well actually he was quite cute who was beside me, and he put his hand on my butt! Of course I was shocked and turned around to see who it was. When I saw he was quite cute, I smile and he said sorry. While I was waiting for my drinks we started to talk, about the club and where he is from and so forth. So when my drinks came, I just stand there and chatted with him. The bar was quite pack, actually the whole place was packed so we were pushed quite close together, facing each other. Then I felt his hands massaging my soft cotton pants, and at a club full of people I got a boner. He just smiled and then took my hands and felt his hard dick. I was kind of shy because I was afraid people might see what we were doing. He then whispered to me and say he wanted to blow me! Before I can say anything, he took my hand and led me towards the dance floor and towards the back of the stage behind the huge speakers they had. There were two more couples behind the dark confine petting heavily. He led me towards corner and started kissing my neck and massaging my crotch and I was feeling his back and ass. Before I knew it, he was down on his knees and pulling my belt free and biting my dick above my pants. He then unbutton me and unzipped my pants and was biting my dick over my CK. Within a few seconds my CK was on my knee and my pants was on my ankle and getting blowjob from this guy! All I could do was close my eyes, head lean back and holding behind his head.

Because of the loud music and the excitement of getting caught I was really excited, I started to gyrate my hips towards the rhythm of his head. He began to suck me deeper and harder using his teeth and sucking me real hard! I just close my eyes and enjoy the moment. I was cumming soon and I was moaning and told him I am cumming, trying to pull my dick out but he just suck harder! Within the span of a less than 5 minutes, with the excitement building I shot into his awaiting mouth. I expected the he will want me to do the same to him, but he just stood up, kiss me with my cum still in his mouth and walk away. It was then when I saw there were a few of guys just watching us, he was doing high fives with them and they all laughed. All I can do to retain whatever dignity I had was to pull up my CK and my pants and walk out of there.

To them it was a game to see if he was able to get me off. I felt used because I never had so many people watch me while I was being suck off by someone. But then, hey it was exciting and it is a free blow job right? So what if people are watching and so what if I was performing to a bunch of strangers that I do not know? It was exciting and I had an erotic time right? * LOL * I guess I will have to get over the feeling of being used and think of it as a very exciting and erotic experience.

02/08/99 10:48:17

Name: actionkid

Comments:

sodablue, your depression and worries are not unfounded but sometimes, we just have to find ways of keeping our spirits up. Zen already contributed a poignant posting which I feel sums up the sort of perception which we should adopt in order to keep on fi ding the zest in life. Smile man..

Wah.. all this HTML tok getting quite the chim awready.. heheh.. seems like not long ago when this page didn't even have a proper background.. just greyness.. Anyway, Sotong.. I always enjoy having my nick spread-eagled all over the place.. hehe.. I'm a narcissistic voyeur.. it's always a pleasure getting them extra publicity.. And Spunky.. though you may lack in HTMLing techniques, I can't say the same for your writing skills.. Great prose there! But why leave us dangling like a pair of bursting bal s? Heheh.. will be looking forward to your next instalment..

As for the Academy Awards.. I am banking on Cate Blanchett for the best actress award. I think Elizabeth is a wonderful show and she simply shone in it! Hmm.. strange.. for this year, I actually missed on two of the more popular shows.. ie, Truman and Pte Ryan.. oh well, maybe my taste in movies have somewhat grown eccentric.. Still, Elizabeth and Shakespeare in Love are definitely the understated winners for me..

02/08/99 00:22:46

Name: ahboi

Comments:

why, charles dearie, i'm indebted to thee for those charitable words of comfort. and yes indeed, i've boomeranged back from the hiccup. anyhow, forlorn and i had never really got along well *guffaws* btw, are u in sfo or s.diego ? if the latter, it wo ld be great to be able to catch up in march; u know, shoot the breeze and stuff like that.

02/07/99 23:09:08

Name: malbroman

My URL: Visit Me

Comments:

Hello! Had a nice weekend? OK, the number one hit in the UK belongs to 'BLONDIE'. Yes the Blondie who gave you,' The Tides Too High' has reuinted with all original members including Ms Harry. Their no.1 hit this week is called,'Maria' taken from their alb m 'No Exits' which will be released worldwide next monday.

The number one movie last weekend in America belongs to Mel Gibbson's 'Payback' which took in US$24 million. Heard that the movie is really good and its shot in blue(????).

Stay tuned for the Oscars nominations tomorrow. I will post it on tuesday night or Wed morning or as soon as I have the info.

02/07/99 16:35:18

Name: Zen

My Email: Email Me

Comments:

To satisfy a long time curiosity, went to one of those crystal shops recently to take my 'aura' photograph.

'Your digestive system is unwell.'

I smiled, having barely recovered from a recent episode of food-poisoning.

'You've been thinking about gan3 qing2(relationships) a lot recently.'

He pointed to two pinkish lights at the tip of my skull and in the centre of my chest as if to tell me his reading is not without basis. I smiled, again. He continued his observation, suffice to say most are strangely accurate... of course, as usual, i inevitably turns into a sales pitch towards the end of the session and I was firm enough not to pay for anything else but 10 bucks for the photograph. Besides, all he really did was to tell me what I already know. Perhaps I might just have bought the cry tal from him if he had told me what I need to know.

Like how to find my soulmate.

'Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.'

Haaaah, silly me. I already have no doubts my time will come. Like someone once told me before, true love is so desirable only because it is so hard to find. So for the time being, it's enough to rejoice in the search.

02/07/99 15:27:17

Name: Sotong

My Email: Email Me

Comments:

Some people have stars named after them. Others are accorded street names. And sigh, some like me have a little browser bug named in my honor. Thanks for the encouragement Charles, wonder if AK feels bashful seeing his name appearing each time he logs on. Hehehe. Come to think of it, it��s free publicity for him too ;P

Yo Spunky! Post your address and I��ll mail you some tips.

Incidentally, my JB house is pinning for a companion to spend the week-long holiday with.. Just-Sex wants it only for the Sat/Sun following the Chinese New Year holiday. So interested parties can still have it on the weekdays. Again, conditions apply. It� free but if you feel led to give something in return, I��d gladly accept anything but cum stains on my mattress....

02/07/99 14:27:23

Name: 65lover

My URL: Visit Me

My Email: Email Me

Comments:

Yes!! - 65 year old hot stud please email me!

02/07/99 13:51:31

Name: Soda

My Email: Email Me

Your Nationality: Sporean Chn

Comments:

Hi Guys. This is my 3rd posting. Sorry if I sound kind of a drag but I really got the blues.

I need to loosen out some steam coz I have totally lost that innerpeace in my heart..I juz came into the G. scene not long ago. Initially I was trying to reconcile with my sexuality, thank goodness I manage to. But finding a LTR is almost impossible after going thru many, many meetups. (Yes, fren said I'm choosy but I'm juz looking for 1 that can click with me sexually at least) Career wise, I'm also trying very hard to transit myself from the current job to another one.(Still din quite manage to do so) St ll I have no 1 to tok to despite that I have a few PLU fren. but I can't really relate to them becoz they kind of like me so we are not in the rite frame of mind when we are together. I dunno how long I can last but I'm losing myself as time passes.

*Sigh. I managed to reconcile with my sexuality but now it's even harder, I need to reconcile with my chaotic heart. Prolly I should go & find a spiritual shelter for myself. Guess I really dunno how to appreciate my well-being compared to those less fort nate ppl.

Really hope blessing be given to those who are now in the same state of mind as I am.

02/07/99 03:27:45

Name: wee_shiong My URL: Visit Me

My Email: Email Me Your Fav Sextivity: matured chn top

Your Fav Body Type: tall Your Nationality: chn s'porean

Comments:

just got a comp recently and stumbled upon this site. really intrigued. to me this is more like a support group Anyway i'm looking for more matured getlemen friends... any takers???

02/07/99 02:04:33

Name: Charles

Your Nationality: HTML

Comments:

Spunky, you're welcome.

As for Sotong's title bug (I'm naming it after him because he discovered it):

Interesting, in Netscape 4, only the first title tag on the page (that actually has content) is posted, so the most recently posted title will be the one to show in the title bar. At the moment, that is "Sotong is a world-class stud and gentleman" ;-)

However, in IE 4, each new title (latest to download, chronologically oldest) takes over in the title bar as the page downloads. So, my two stud titles show up as they download, but ultimately Sotong's "Okie, AK..." title reign's supreme. previou

02/07/99 01:53:13

Name: Spunky

My URL: Visit Me

Your Nationality: Little Rock in the Asteroid Belt

Comments:

Thanks for the tip, Charles and Sotong. = )

02/06/99 23:57:05

Name: <Charles> Your Fav Sextivity: <BOLD>

Your Fav Body Type: <BODY> Your Nationality: <HTML>

Comments:

Spunky

here's how to do the paragraph thing. Between each paragraph, put the following code:

<P>

It is a good idea, since Geocities sometimes drops characters from long lines, to hit the ENTER key before you type the <P> , because it can "break" the page if the tag loses a character. Sotong is being gun-shy about giving you HTML advice because he has been a victim in the past of this effect.

Sotong

What happened to the page title is not (directly) your fault. It is a bug in the browser. The browser is supposed to ignore bad code (such as an <HTML> tag inside a <BODY> tag, but sometimes it doesn't. Don't worry about it. Besides, playing with browser bugs can be fun.

ahboi

Sorry your experience had an unexpected effect. I've had the experience of feeling intruded upon by an experience that unexpectedly became sexual, and even though I enjoyed it was also impacted by it. In that case, though, I was able to stay in contact with the person involved and talk about it.

I've also had the experience of saying the wrong thing (or failing to say the right thing) and finding out how fragile these casual encounters can be.

Anyways, hope you feel better soon.

BW

Hope I didn't break the page with all this HTML tomfoolery. Thanks for providing a fun and supportive space.

02/06/99 22:29:48

Name: Sotong

Comments:

Yup, did get a little note from the great BW himself on my recent misadventure on this BB. An encouraging one that is! Sure made my day. Thanks again BW

Way to go Spunky! Write more! But I must say that having to read the story does present a little challenge with the paragraphing missing. Would like to share the para tip with you but maybe I should be the last to impart HTML for the moment (if you know w at I mean) hehehe. Hope I didn��t create a second sotong controversy.

Has anyone also thot about reviewing and sharing hot websites too? What will we think of next!!!??

02/06/99 11:06:06

Name: malbroman

My URL: Visit Me

My Email: Email Me

Comments:

Hi guys, this is the latest of the Billboard charts.

After selling 5 million singles and being the No.1 hit of Europe of 1998, Cher's Belive is rocking up the charts in the U.S. Belive is now at no.9, up from no.13 last week. Her album is now at no.21. Looks like Belive will hit no.1 very soon. Her appearan e at last weeks Super Bowl helped her sales figure.

Another single worth buying is Sugar Ray's 'Every Morning', its at no.20 up from 27 last week. The guys who gave you the hit 'Fly' was seen as a one hit wonder, but this single is going to be an even bigger hit than 'Fly'. Their album '14:59' is holding s eady in the upper reaches of the charts.

The New Radical's debut album 'Maybe You've Been Brainwashed Too' is a great album to get you into a happy mood this holiday season. Almost every song is a potential single.

02/06/99 07:35:40

Name: ahboi

Comments:

sometimes, a good wail will do one's anguished soul a lot of good. i swear.

i was minding my own business when he parked himself right next to me and broke into a wide grin. i turned to check if the smile was meant for the young thing to my right. as it was, it wasn't. mr young-thing-on-my-right gave no recognition nor response t mr intruder's gesture. puzzled, i turned back to mr intruder and arched my right eyebrow, begging "now, what was that all about ?" the grin morphed into a baritone "hi", to which i meekly returned with a (what else?) civil "hi".

a fresh round of drinks quickly followed, promptly lubricating the glide into a (later to be recalled as, engaging) conversation, circumscribed by social quips and commentaries. for an angmoh, he surely have a good grasp of his host country's native idsio yncracies. i found myself warming up to him, i.e. till he placed his hand on my thigh, giving it a tiny squeeze. i stared at his hand, and found myself teetering between [*groan* what the f..k!] and [*groan* want to f..k?]. i looked up and gave him a nonc alant expression, neither rejecting nor endorsing his advance. he grinned. and he looked so goddamn good in that smile, his piercing (blue?) eyes boring down into mine. he squeezed tighter, my thigh tightened in response. i felt parched and gulped on my d ink. he took my silence for compliance. "u want to come back with me ?" my heartbeat raced, yet my mind is lethargic. i dunno why.

the house was dark when we arrived. and i stumbled as i crossed the threshold. he reached out and steadied my balance, and i felt the warmth of his hold. awkwardly, i held him at his waist. his warm lips expertly searched out mine, and i responded, by now surrendered to the moment. i had reached the point of no return and with that, my guilt (was that what was holding me back at the pub ?) dissipated into darkness. weirdly, my mind remained crisply clear, recording my actions while void of wherewithal, as y hands reached out to tug at his clothes. he responded likewise. his finger tips traced my nape, leaving a burning trail as his moist warm tongue explored my oral orifice. his scotch tainted breath invaded my nostrils. i felt intoxicated.

i reached out and found his turgid manhood. it was strange. i seem to know it so well, even though we had never met before this. the gorged head with it's single eye, crying gentle tears of precum. the pronounced ridge along the extension of the long, har stem, giving rise to a sensation that i usually neglect to detect. i reached the furry patch at his groin, and travelled upwards to his navel. the bellyhole was a tight knot of flesh, smooth, standing out like a bald node amongst the hairy patch. he took my hands and guided them back to his tool. gently, i began to wank him.

he came, amidst harsh quickened breath even as his mouth remained tightly clamped on mine. i wasn't accorded any opportunity to witness what could had been a magnificent squirting sight; not in this position, not in the darkness. all i could felt was the tream of warm liquid, first hitting my abs, and later, pooling around my fist, which maintained a vice grip on his cannon. and i detected a faint whiff of almondic odour as his semen trailed southwards along my abs. he knelt in front of me and swallowed m tool. for no apparent reason, tears brimmed my eyes. and by then, i badly needed to come.

when i finished, i felt very naked all of a sudden. goose pimples erupted along my nape and shot down my spine. i groped for my strewn clothes and dressed hurriedly. he remained seated on the floor and watched me. i couldn't figure what he was thinking, e en though by now our eyes are quite adjusted to the darkness. as i turned to look for the door, he reached out to grip my hand, saying nothing.

i have no appropriate response, except to thank him for giving me a _good_ time, when i needed it but i gotta go. i regretted what i said the moment the words came out. it wasn't even what i wanted to say. he shrugged, perhaps to signify that he's cool wi h that. or perhaps, to say "you're welcome". for no apparent reason, i was piqued. he didn't have to agree, not so readily anyway. i felt a prick on my fragile ego and only wanted to get the hell out of there.

after a night of tossing and turning, i concluded that i was merely overwhelmed by the moment. no else. it was meant to be a ONS; pure and simple. yet somewhere deep inside, i can't deny i had hoped for more. as to why, i really have no f..king idea. it i not that i'm in any position to pursue or commit for more. yet, there remains this strange nudge of "if only". if only i wasn't already attached (is that the word?), if only i had acted more in control and gotten his contact number instead of his semen, f only i had been candid with him on what i was hoping for, if only.... *f..k* in reflection, i guess i was quite taken to his prior-to-sex persona. he look good, carried himself well, and under other circumstances could (?) had turned out to be something more. but as it turned out, the primal-no-questions-asked sex had quickly killed all such prospects. isn't this f..king weird ? but i don't think i would had kid anyone; mr intruder was merely wanting a quickie. nothing more. oh well.

02/06/99 06:42:58

Name: Spunky

My URL: Visit Me

Your Nationality: Next star on the right of Orion

Comments:

Part three... The loving I was feeling cannot be something I dreamt up. Something I had so desired and had now manifested. It wasn't just that. He was there. I felt him on my skin. I felt his love seeped through every pores. He was under my skin. What I felt could not e denied. It was real. That was love. I held him. He held me. I waited. Waited for those words. Those words that would confer upon me his love, forever. Only if you said so, Tien. I would have been yours. I could make for us a fairy tale. Frente "Bizarre Love Triangle" I feel fine and I feel good/ I feel like I never should/ Whenever I get this way/ I just don't know what to say/ Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday/ I'm not sure what this could mean/ I don't think you're what you seem/ I do admit to myself/ If I hurt someone else/ Then I'll never see what we were meant to be/ Every time I see you falling/ I get down on my knees and pray/ Waiting for the final moments/ You say the words that I can't say/ Every time I see you falling/ I get down on my knees and pray/ Waiting for the final moments/ You say the words that I can't say.

02/06/99 05:12:27

Name: Spunky

My URL: Visit Me

Your Nationality: Deep in space

Comments:

Read on, AK. Three more days to be together before she returned to take her rightful place. Or, was it three more days for me to usurp her place in Tien's heart? I didn't dare to think. My emotions were riding high and my thoughts were in disarray. Hence, it was proba ly not so much as I didn't dare to think about it, rather I was incapacitated to do so. Just as well. It felt so right to be with Tien that I forget that there's another HER. Ironic, really, that I should think of his wife as "another her". In actuality, am the other "woman". The third party. Or was it that I am a different entity that filled the void in Tien's life. Therefore, theorectically, I am not the other "woman" simply because I had a different role. The thought of three days scared me. I didn't think there was any competition. The reality was he's hers. Not mine. Least not mine forever. But, the moment was there and then. And that was a reality too. I had him now. And he was gonna be mine for the nex three days. I was gonna stretched every second to minutes and every minutes to hours. Three days would be forever. Forever was now. I was not ready to loosen my embrace. I held him so tightly as if I could just fuse our bodies together. I refused to deta h my kiss from his mouth. My mouth groped his; seemingly drawing his breath, his soul into my own body. And he would then have to be with me, forever. Our tongues intertwined and darted deep into one another. For several moments, I had felt with one deep hrust of my tongue into his mouth, I would dive into the warm inner-realms of him. And I could have lived happily and contented. Safe and warm within him. I would never leave. I had given him my whole. You could laugh, but that moment meant everything to e. For once, I wasn't just having sex. That was what making love felt. In that sense, he was my first. So much emotions surged through my body. Joy. I was happy to be with him. Fear. I was afraid the moment would have to end. And that fear soon took over me. I had my heart out. Tears began to swell in my eyes. I felt so choked. Tien: "What are we doing?" Huh? I was baffled. Nat: " Er�KKinda obvious isn't it? It's not your first, is it?" Hehe..He laughed. And he shooked his head. He lifted me before him. He must have noticed the tears in my eyes. He just held my face in his hands. Such an assurance. *Sigh* And then he smiled that smile. He had such a lovely smile. One that just lights up he whole place. One that gives a warm glow inside. One that says the man is truly happy. So geniune. So sincere. Perhaps, I could have forever with him. Afterall, he was truly happy with me, wasn't he?....To be cont'd

02/06/99 02:11:53

Name: actionkid

Comments:

Hoi Spunky! You're really making full use of your time at home, eh? Heheh.. I shall reserve my comments until after you've finished your story.. but hey man.. you're such a TEASE!! Keep it up .. hahaha..

02/05/99 17:38:46

Name: Spunky

My URL: Visit Me

Your Nationality: Outer Space Man

Comments:

Oops..Got the first draft story out instead previously...this was the one intended. Can ignore the previous posting: Nat: "You married?" Tien: "Yah. Do you mind? I dun blame yer if you did. I quite understand." Nat: "Why should I? It's your life, not mine. Besides I'm here having an innocent evening with you. No motive whatsoever. Well, at least nothing more than just being friends. Right?" Tien: " Sure." And there he flashed that lovely smile. Melt. Melt. Melt. *Sigh* If things were slightly different, it could have been a fairy tale romance that I always so wanted...well, I had some ideas on how to make it so. Just one damn little detail; he's contract d to be with someone else. I'm no home wrecker. She's no wiser; so innocent. I hated the thought that I could be the bomb that Tien drops on her. Nat: "Why were you in the gay IRC then? Haha �K you do realise that it's not just a guy chat room where guys just talk about "guy" guy stuff, don't yer?" A lame attempt on my part to lighten the mood. Hehe. Nat, you are so sad. = P Actually kinda feel stupid after saying that. Anyway, Tien just shrugged his shoulders. Oh, I'm sure he knew. And I'm sure he knew why he was in there too. I guess there was just too much for him to explain. Just too much. Perhaps it's so hard to put them in words to make someone else understand. Or, perhaps, he just didn't know himself, so how was he to explain? A civil war in his own head. So messy. Even his thoughts had lost their perspective. I did not want to press any further. He did not owe me any explanation. Already, I had impressed upon him hat this meeting were that of two plutonic friends. Sure I could accept guys like that or whatever they choose to do. But I remain detached because I lived by different rules. We played different ball games...at least that's what I would like to believe. I shan't be involved, I promised myself. In a cruel ay, I am not bothered by their behaviour so long it is not I who misled them to be just that. So there! Bo Chap! Nat:" Hmm...She let you out tonight?" Yet, another futile attempt to tease another smile out of him. Tien:" She's away for the next 2 weeks. Her work requires her to travel much." Nat: "Hmmm....naughty naughty, eh? The cat's away and the mouse's out to play." ARGGHHH....You know, I really have to stop these silly teases. They were so juvenile. Already he was 6 years my senior, my behaviour was just shoving that fact into his face (A lovely one if I may add) But he didn't seem to mind. In fact, he smiled that l vely smile. And I think I even heard a snigger. *Whew* What struck me was he never shy away from my eyes. He always looked right at me whenever he spoke. I don't think I could doubt his sincerity. I felt comfortable with him. The night went on fine. A good dinner and a great chat. We avoided talking anything hat was remotely related to homosexuality or relationships and everything along those lines. Surely, there were other things in life to talk about. And there were! Tien was an ambitious man. He struck me to be someone who was in control (well, more or less.. hehe). Charmed life, in fact. A happy childhood. Respectable family. Good education. Comfortable living. Definitely more than an OK life style. From his little mentioning of his wife, I figured she's somewhat the same. An OK marriage too, then. Two years of marriage, but no kids as yet simply because the time was not right. Tien gave no reasons and I was just glad. Ask no more. I might find out more things than wanted. More truth than I could take. In the following week, we met practically everyday. We attended concerts and plays together. Watched movies and videos. Cooked meals together. Bitched about work over a couple of beers. Sat under the starry sky and pondered about life and the universe. Re lly, to think about it now, short of declaring "I love you", we were like a couple. But, then, I thought we were just good buddies. I was hoping that he too felt that was all there was to it. Two guy. Two pals. Period. I'm so clever at denying and justify ng what I wanted things to be. Reality check, NAT! Somehow, along the way, I suppose, subconsciously, I felt a certain attachment towards him. I didn't dare to think what it was, so I left it status quo. Enjoy the moments. But these moments nursed and cul ivated this attachment. And it grew and mutated. I remained in denial, like an ostrich with his head deep in the ground. And Tien said nothing about it. The fateful evening came. We were slouching on his sofa watching some boring movie. Pictures were just flashing colours and dialogues were just gibberish. We had a heavy home cooked dinner. And if I might add, it was a disaster. Our first attempt to bake a pizza from scratch. Gent emen, do not put too much of everything. Greed results in a soggy pizza. The clean-up sure worn us out. We were tired and sweaty from the heat of the oven. Nat: " She gonna be back soon. Three more days." Tien didn't even flinched. I tilted myself towards him. Nat: " Is there anything fundamentally wrong with your marriage?" Tien took a deep breath and let out a sigh. That sigh occurred to me that he was anticipating this moment , but had always dreaded for it to arrive. To talk about his marriage and possibly to talk about us. ARGH! "US"�K"POSSIBLY ABOUT US"!! What have just lashed across my mind?!? ADMISSION!! I have admitted to myself that my sense of attachment to him was more than plutonic. I wasn't conscious on what I was directing to. My mouth shot out those words before my mind could censor them. But these thoughts sho ld not even be there in the first place. And even if they were, they should have been tucked way back in the memory banks collecting dust. I mean, COME ON, NAT!! LOOK AT THE CARDS THAT ARE LAID BEFORE YOU!! HELLO, ANYBODY HOME?? Oh dear, what a time to do spring cleaning and have all my thoughts deep in the filing cabinets of my memory banks out to dust. EEK! Fuuny enough despite my beating myself up inside for the stray thought to materialize, I retained my calm composure and waited for him to say something. By that time, I had actually forgotten what I had asked and totally oblivious of where I was. The scen turned pretty surreal. Tien: " Actually, I never thought it did. I don't know." "DID"?? That was the operative word. So there is now? Dare ask or dare not ask?? ARGH. Dilemma. Ok. don't ask. I was dying to know what he meant by "did", but I did not want to appear as too eager, which would have portrayed me to be like a vulture hoover ng over some dying animal. Tien: " I have not put much thought into my marriage these days. It has been living day by day for the past two years, until I have no opinions whatsoever. Neither good nor bad. I suppose to sum up my marriage, I would say "Like that lor."." Actually, I thought that was rather cute. Hehe. *Sigh* Well, I guess it would since I am so infatuated by him already by that time. Anyway, I understood what he meant. I just looked at him. Focusing on that little curl on the corner of his lips. He was smiling a little smile. A nonchalant smile. I did not think there was anything running in his head. Neither was there anything in mine. The only thought I had was that I as amazed that my mind was blank. Ironic isn't it? I was thinking that I was thinking nothing. Hehe. I began to notice his breathing. He wasn't breathing any harder than before, just that I had all my attention on him. Him and only him. I never did had noticed his ears until that very night. It was kinda smallish. They looked so babyish. They looked so f ir. I also noticed that pinkish glow he had on his cheeks. Kinda made him look so gentle despite his manly stature. I looked so curiously at the twitching of his arm. Those strong arms. I had a sudden longing for those arms to be wrapped around me. This t me, I did not beat myself for thinking of that. Actually, my dogmatic conscience gave no comments. It lay silent. My feelings took over. I loved his hands. So big as they were. I bet they were warm too. I remembered them being warm from that very first da we met. We shook hands as if we were business associates. Ever since, our hands never embraced. There always seemed a conscious effort to avoid bodily contact, as if that would ignite some dynamite. Touch and KABOOM! And that was what it felt like. My heart went KABOOM! I had placed my hand upon his. They warm as I remembered. Tien's hand did not slip away. Instead his hand clenched mine. Yup, that was when my heart did a flip and a twist and a second KABOOM! Despite hese explosions going off in my head, I noticed our breathing was harder and long drawn. Was my chest heaving because my lungs were taking in more air or was the great thumping of my heart pushing forth my chest from within? I wonder how long it was before I lay my head upon his shoulders. Time had lost its essence. Laying my head on his shoulders was another bold move. One would have thought that him holding my hand was a GO sign for other things to come, but I don't know. E ery move is a first of its kind for us. Holding his hands. Laying my head on his shoulders. And our kiss. Yes, we kissed. That was inevitable. Desires had the better of us. And passion held the reins. ....to be Con'td

02/05/99 17:29:04

Name: Spunky

My URL: Visit Me

Your Nationality: Outer Space

Comments:

Nat: "You married?" Tien: "Yah. Do you mind? I dun blame yer if you did. I quite understand." Nat: "Why should I? It's your life, not mine. Besides I'm here having an innocent evening with you. No motive whatsoever. Well, at least nothing more than just being friends. Right?" Tien: " Sure." And there he flashed that lovely smile. Melt. Melt. Melt. *sigh* If things were slightly different, it could have been a fairy tale romance that I always so wanted...well, I had some ideas on how to make it so. Just one damn little detail; he's contract d to be with someone else. I'm no home wrecker. She's no wiser. I'm not going to be the bomb that Tien gonna drop on her. Nat: "Why were you in the gay IRC then? Haha .. you do realise that it's not just a guy chat room where guys just talk about "guy" guy stuff, don't yer?" A lame attempt on my part to lighten the mood. hehe. Sad. = P Actually kinda feel stupid after saying that. Anyway, Tien just shrugged his shoulders non-chalantly. Oh, I'm sure he knew. And I'm sure he knew why he was in there too. I guess there was just too much for him to explain. Just too much. Perhaps it's so hard to put them in words to make someone else u derstand. Or, perhaps, he just didn't know himself, so how to explain to someone else? A civil war in his own head. So messy. His thoughts had lost their perspective. I did not want to press any further. He did not owe me any explanation. I had impressed pon him that this meeting were that of two plutonic friends. Sure I could accept guys like that or whatever they choose to abide. But I remain detached because I lived by different rules. We played different ball games...at least that's what i would like to believe. Nat:" Hmm...She let you out tonight?" Yet, another futile attempt to tease another smile out of him. Tien:" She's away for the next 3 weeks. Her work requires her to travel much." Nat: "Hmmm....noti noti, eh? The cat's away and the mouse's out to play." ARGGHHH....You know, I really have to stop these silly sayings. They were so juvenile. Already he was like 6 years my senior, my behaviour was just shoving that fact into his face (A lovely one if I may add) But he didn't seem to mind. He smiled that love y smile. And I think I even heard a snigger. What struck me was he never shy away from my eyes. He always looked right at me whenever he spoke. I don't think I could doubt his sincerity. I appreciated that from any guy. The night went on fine. A good dinner and a great chat. We avoided talking anything that was remotely related to gay issues or relationships and everything along those lines. Surely, there were other things in life to talk about. Tien was an amitious man. He struck me to be someone who was in control (well, more or less.. hehe). Charmed life, in fact. A happy childhood. background. Good education. Comfortable living standards. And a more than ok life style. From his little mentio ing of his wife, I figured she's somewhat the same. ...to be Cont'd

02/05/99 16:23:25

Name: 24 year old

My URL: Visit Me

My Email: Email Me

Comments:

This is to the 65 YEAR Old HUNK. I really find mature men sexy especially if they are fit. I often look at mature men's crotches to see the outline of their cock. So if you read this please e-mail me. We may or may not do it, but its still good to know pe ple of a different generation to teach and guide us younger guys and teach us more about life. Please e-mail me you 65 y/o hunk. Would like to know you.

02/05/99 14:19:19

Name: Sotong

Comments:

Yo Charles! Thanks for that little tip. Nice to hear from you again. Err.. backroom again? Lots to share with ya

And just-sex, You��ve Got Mail

02/05/99 11:39:27

Name: malbroman

My URL: Visit Me

Comments:

Hi, early this week, I've watched my first Ally McBeal. David E. Kelly must be one of the best TV creater/director/producer around. Everything he creates made TV an enjoyable experience. From Northen Exposure, Picket Fences, Chic go Hope and Ally, he made TV different unlike the Xena/NYPD BLUE macho stuff we've been fed. I hope TCS would bring another David Kelly's creation the Practice soon.

Good news to all INXS or Micheal Hutchence fans. Virgin Label's V2 record would release Micheal Hutchence's solo album in mid 99. It contains Micheal's solo works from early 95 till his death in Nov 97.

It's time for the Oscars again. The nominations will be released this Tuesday and I will post the results that evening once I have the info. Do expect 'Saving Private Ryan' and 'Truman Show' to bag the most nomination cos SPR was called 'the best war m vie ever!' and Truman Show was called 'the best American movie made in the past 10 years' by some American mag. I am hoping Elizabeth would be nominated best movie.

02/05/99 08:15:52

Name: just-sex

My Email: Email Me

Your Nationality: Sg

Comments:

Hi Sotong: i am interested in u JBhouse can u e-mail me? regards

02/05/99 08:06:45

Name: Charles

Your Nationality: still HTML

Comments:

Ha! It worked, even if I did spell "bulletin" wrong. I learned a new HTML trick. I'll bet it only works on some browsers. I also suspect BW can prevent it from happening by actually giving this page a title. But it's fun in the meantime.

Thanks, Sotong, for discovering this, even if it was accidental.

02/05/99 07:58:25

Name: Charles

Your Nationality: HTML

Comments:

I think I know how Sotong changed the page title. Sotong, when you save your file as HTML, before you copy it to the bulleting board, go in using Notepad or SimpleText and remove from <HTML> through <BODY> before your message and from </BODY> through </HTML> after your message. Unless, of course, you WANT to change the page title.

02/05/99 06:26:42

Name: Sotong

Comments:

Oh me gosh, how did I ever do that!!?? I mean changing the title of the browser!! I reckon I'll get a little note from the great BW soon on this matter. But apologies in advance.

I'll be compling a list of VCDs currently in my possesion to get the ball rolling. Still waiting for that somebody to be the central coordinator cos I'm gonna be busy for the next few months plus a reservist training coming up just after CNY sigh�K..

Speaking of CNY, have a terrace house in JB that'll be unoccupied for that entire week. Anybody interested in staying for that whole or part of that period? Reason being I don't wanna leave it empty thus inviting burglary. No charges but conditions apply ike leaving my personal belongings alone etc. Again first cum first serve.

02/05/99 02:24:20

Name: just-sex

My Email: Email Me

Your Nationality: Sg

Comments:

ArLow

i'm back! Miss me?

been rather busy, nothing much to contribute but have read all the posting. decided to put in my $0.02 worth of comment.

Firstly,

D24's posting

remind of a earlier incident that i had posted before on the bulletin, here's a summary: i was in the toliet, this old man tried to force my zipper down. Failing to do so, grab my hand and pushed down to his exposed member. come on we are in a toliet, anyone can walk in any moment. i was very pissed off by his action. my point is, it is not easy being a PLUs so please do not shamed us further by doing tactless things in the public.

on the

VCD

issue, i am gamed for a exchange group, so please e-mail me if u decided to form one. it is better to share resources rather than see-once-get-bored-throw-somewhere".

Next on the

65yrs old Hunk

KUDOS!!! i mean most men after age of 60 see their sex peak going down and yet we have a 65 yrs Hunk looking for fun in the bulletin board. good for u!

Lastly, on

Creative big boss, Mr Sim

so is he a PLUs? reason being he is 47 this year, yet is not married and unattached (at least i have not heard any info abt him having a galfriend). then again this is a stigma, we naturally assumed a desirea le (my taste is different, but i do think he is kinda of cute and i admire his aspiration and determination) man, who is unattached over that age of 40, being a PLU. i had a good looking, 40+, unattached friend who had to quit his job as there were gossip in his office that he is a gay. is this our asia/eastern culture, that being not married, unattached men/women naturally be a PLUs?

got to go now,will contribute more later, regards!!

02/05/99 01:24:05

Name: actionkid

Comments:

durex.. sigh.. the innocence of youth... tell me about it.. i've always made it a point, plus, it has always been my personal preference, that i go for guys who are older than myself. But, yeah... it is different when you're with a much younger guy. my re ent experiences has shown that age is relative and the innocence of youth is very much a precious thing which adds much pleasure to any action... but of course, there always has to be a clear line with regard to sexploitation and following your heart. And then again, there is the Law... something which we should strive to abide to. As the song in the episode's closing scene rightfully declares... we all have to get back to reality..

02/04/99 15:04:17

Name: durex My URL: Visit Me

My Email: Email Me Your Fav Sextivity: everything

Your Fav Body Type: tall, lean

Comments:

Hi guys. Talking about Ally McBeal, I have had the pleasure of meeting some very cute young guys. One is 20, the other 19 and the last, and most recent, being 17. They are all handsome and innocent to some extent. Such joy to be with. When I go out with t em I feel so old. I just turned 26. I thought that Ally and the kid was going to do something. He is quite attractive. On a personal note, I have settled down with my guy. We have a place together now. That does not rule out having outrageous sex! We have engaged in a wonderful menage-a-trois. The guy was such a good @#$%er. I am usually the top in my relationship and had not been penetrated for some months but this guy wanted me. He did my boyfriend first. I enjoyed watching the action so much. The guy pumped so hard! After he did my bf, he wanted me. I was a bit hesitant but let him do it. I was lying on my back. He lift d my legs up on his shoulders and inserted his manhood into me. He was gentle at first. He worked me up into a frenzy with his rhythmic pumping. It felt so good. I have not felt like that since, well, last November. Good night guys. By the way, any Star Trek fans here? Does anyone know when the movie will open in Singapore???

02/04/99 14:46:14

Name: Cuthbert

My Email: Email Me

Comments:

Hey Sotong, you're really something. Anybody realised that the title of the page has CHANGED?

02/04/99 13:44:52

Name: actionkid

Comments:

hmm.. is it me or has Sotong taken over our browser window title? Wah.. who's been giving you private tuition with HTML, eh?? *actionkid wonders..;P*

Anyway, I'm okay with the vcd thing. And about my remark, it was not meant to be a put-off. I think we are all entitled to pander to our needs.. and that includes our basest desires. I hope whoever got the vcd gets to enjoy it and cum buckets as well..;P ehehe.. And marlboroman.. glad to see ya back. I used to stay up real late in the nite during my college days just waiting for multi-track to come on. If I miss the 12:15 one, then I'll have to wait for the rerun at around 7 in the morning, rite? Heheh.. 'm actually a sucker for British music and that show is really great. Too bad that it only lasts for half an hour...

On a side track.. I was rewatching the Ally McBeal episode.. and.. umm.. I find it extremely poignant and intriguing. Does youth always equate innocence? And are first loves always the most intense? It does make me rethink about my life coz looking back, do believe that I have grown more cynical and realistic. I am no longer the idealistic guy of my past and the boy in me was lost a long time ago.. yeah.. I have definitely lost that innocence which i used to hold so dear. Hmm.. I guess it comes with the erritory.. But fortunately for me, the past holds plenty of memories.. and they've made my existence all the more worthwhile. Well.. we've all got stories of our own to tell. Regardless how plain they may seem, there will always be others who think of the as being a gem of an experience.. Ally McBeal does a great job of turning plain stories into something extraordinary... heheh.. do I sound like a running advert? Oh well.. I guess I'm just a confused romantic.. You boys have a good day..

02/04/99 09:56:35

Name: malbroman

My URL: Visit Me

My Email: Email Me

Comments:

Hi guys, I am glad that someone out there misses me!(do I have thick skin or what!). Anyway, I am busy with work and do not have much time to get into the net. There's nothing much to report about music lately.

Do you guys find the local english radio oring? 98.7, 95FM, 98.0 always play the same stuff over and over again, I am getting an overdose of boybands and whats this thing about retro music? Just spend 5 min to listen to Glen Ong's EGO TRIP at 10pm on 98.7 and your blood will boil. I would recomm nd 88.9(BBC)'s music programme called 'Multi Tracks' at 12.15am every Mon, Wed and Fri. Every half hour of 'Multi Tracks' is worth more than 24 hours of Perfect 10 98.7 in listening pleasure, no boybands and annoying DJs. All you will hear is the latest nd best of British and International music. I heard the latest BLUR song entitled 'Tender' on Multi Tracks on Wed, a month before the song was to be released.

By the way, the BBC radio station is really quite interesting, you can listen anything from politics to science to music, movies etc.

02/04/99 05:42:35

Name: Sotong

Comments:

Okie AK, have pass on the VCD to somebody else already. Hope he doesn't mind having it after having read your first paragraph. Still on the subject of VCDs. I was thinking we all have do have quite a collection, ya? And most of them are viewed just onc or twice and thereafter left to gather dust. Why don't we compile a list of people with VCDs and a list of the VCDs which they're willing to loan out/exchange etc. Ye, let's share our resources! So is Jimmy interested in being the coordinator?? J

I contracted dengue fever in Dec after being bitten by some kampung mosquitoe. Wasn't fully recovered during the karaoke session. And going to the library bit was to gather print materials for my next story. Say, I didn't know that NL used to be a gre t cruising place. Wow!!

Whatever has happened to our resident music reviewer, the Marlboroman??

[HendryTan]

02/04/99 05:21:13

Name: actionkid

Comments:

D24's experience and actions do raise some interesting points. I shall not assume his orientation except that he does take offence on gays who take the liberty to visually 'devour' him. I think ahboi has already highlighted certain issues. And yeah.. I am kinda taken aback as well. But hey.. such things do happen and such people do exist, thus, the importance of being discreet cannot be overlooked.

I guess it is all a matter of perception. As Chee Kin had pointed out, to receive such attention can be an extremely flattering event, and it is quite a major ego booster for some of us. We can show our appreciation for a guy.. but it is always wise to be discreet and adaptable. Some guys do not like being watched, while others enjoy it (like yours truly..;P). I guess we have to be smart at gauging a guy's response.. and know when to stop. Obviously, the unfortunate guys who was stupid enuff to observe D24 had to take the tougher way out. They messed up. For the rest of us, the event serves, again, as a reminder that there are various stratas in our society and there is no mass social acceptance of gays as yet. Thus, we should never assume that what we do i correct or that others can accept it.

Incidentally, I was on the MRT yesterday, on my way home. It was crowded and I was standing in front of this guy. I dun think I look gay at all but well.. that guy seem to be showing some appreciation of the way I look. And he showed it.. he stared at me o the point of making me feel totally self conscious. I even discreetly looked down on my zipper to see if it was open. And that was when he let off a smile, and let his eyes linger on my crotch. How would you react under such circumstances? On the one ha d, I felt totally uncomfortable coz this guy, who was seated directly opposite me, was actually sizing me up as a sexual object. It was in view of all the others and I couldn't help feeling a little vulnerable. And his eyes said volumes. I could have just ticked him off, and perhaps humiliate him in front of the others. Or I could reciprocate.. say, casually rub my crotch and smile back at him, etc.. Or I could act indifferent. I took the last course. Anyway, as he was about to get off, he took the liberty to stand up very close to me and gently swiped his hands against my crotch. Hmmm.. again, I could have snapped. But something in me tells me that I should just let it be. Nothing was going to happen and I still had control of the situation. Thus, I merely ignored and stood my ground. As he got out, he was obviously waiting for me to follow him. As the door closed, I looked at him, smiled, and just shook my head, leaving him standing on the platform looking forlorn.. Maybe I was being charitable. But my poi t is that I did not feel taken advantaged off, and there was no harm done. Thus, no reason for me to act hasty. Then again, we all have different standards and we react differently. If someone had imposed themselves on me, I will not hesitate to fight bac . And I've done so.. like my one and only experience at Spartacus where I actually elbowed and kneed some guys in their crotches coz they were taking liberty with my body without my consent. And I've confronted guys and ticked them off too.. I guess we ju t have to be aware of our actions always, and be responsible for them. At the same, time, our judgement of the situation will also come in... PEACE.

02/04/99 01:32:58

Name: ahboi

Comments:

i'm taken aback by D24's premise and apparent glee in brandishing his brand of self-righteousness. while i do not doubt he has exclusive claim to his prerogative, what i find disturbing, is the gross display of mock indignation, not to mention the hogwash of a substantiation for his actions.

no doubt, the unfortunate bloke is asking for it when he chose to conduct his private business in public. and yes, he may had inflicted *yawn* mental (?) stress on D24 when he [had the great misfortune, in hindsight] chose D24 as his object d'fantasy. but hold on a sec; what force drove D24's action : was he so outraged by the invasion of his (whatever it was) that he couldn't see st8 (sic) or was he strung to the extent that his fear of "others might mistaken him to be likewise if he had done nothing to s op the (whatever it was)", overcame his senses ? sadly, from the account of D24's posting, the latter is likelier of the two. if so, what fear had beget is truly fearful.

the term pervert, in this instance, is loosely applied and is misused to justify the indignance of the complainant. from whence D24 can conclude that the bloke exclusively indulges in this form of gratification to the extent of excluding other sexual prac ice, is beyond me. apropos he's a pervert in all sense of the word; but, is the law the appropriate solution ? i dunno. u tell me. *shrug*

what i find particularly painful is the glee extracted from other's detriment, regardless how much they deserve it. by all means give that bastard a good tick off. by all means, act as if one is doing this for the good of "gayhood". but make no bones abou it. D24 had done it for himself. he was outraged and he retaliated; and he has every right to do what he did and to take relish in his jubilant accomplishment. this, after all, is a singular pursuit of ego gratification.

02/03/99 18:10:32

Name: D24

My URL: Visit Me

Comments:

Erm...just to let perverts who like to "beo" guys urine and at the same time masturbate, in the toilet.... WATCH OUT! I hate such activities!!!!! Recently me and my friend actually reported the incident to the Station Manager of a particular MRTstation an that asshole was actually caught!! HA!!!! He's going to court soon..... The other incident was, I embarassed a pervert who stand right next to me and eyed on my c***. I said very loudly." KUAY SEE MI LAN JIAO" and the rest of the people in the toilet actually turned and looked at him!!! HA!!!!! Please stop doing such pervert thing!! People might think that all gays like to hide in the toilet and peep at others!

02/03/99 10:52:30

Name: actionkid

Comments:

Hehehe.. Sotong.. maybe I'll get in touch with you soon, though I am not particularly desperate for that vcd.. If there are other guys who badly need it, let them have it lor.. The forbidden fruit always looks sweeter when they're unplucked. But once ou've got it, they tend to taste the same..;P A resident p--n reviewer.. hmm.. I'm sure there are many amongst us who're qualified to do it.. rite, jimmy???

BTW, Sotong.. wat mosquito thingy are you recovering from??? And research in the library? Hmm.. I didn't know the library scene has picked up again..;P

And Chee Kin.. I'm happy for ya. Yeah..it is always an ego booster whenever sumthing like dat happens. I still subscribe to the idea that Singapore is one big huge cruising playground. You never know where they're gonna hit you from.. But I like it.. it me anytime man!

02/03/99 09:48:04

Name: Sotong

Comments:

Wah, some folks do have the discipline to go thru the archives. I must confess I haven��t gone thru all that literature yet. Maybe it��ll make wonderful reading during my week long CNY break. I would like to know when our resident stud and co-host of the B (you know who) first came on the scene. And also when our literary prima dona (you also know who it is) penned his first prose... Hiak, hiak!

Actionkid! You are ze first to ask for ze VCD!!! So how do you want to arrange for the colllection? You can ask ahboi for my h/p number.

Ahboi!! OOOOooooiiii!!! *pout* *blush* I��m already like the ostrich with its head buried in sand for annoucing I have one of those ��ahem�� in my possession!! Do gay p--n reviews?? Aaarrgghhh!!! Share my fantasies? Aaarrgghhh!! President of so e ay multimedia resource club? Aaaarrrggghhh!!! But apologies for not keeping in touch since that karaoke session. Had been terribly busy. Didn��t even have time to recover from that mosqui bite. Going to the library soon to do some r earch for my next story..... Akan datang!!!

02/03/99 09:43:57

Name: Chee Kin

My Email: Email Me

Comments:

This is a very flattering event for me, I was astonished. I reckon Adrian (my best friend) will think likewise. Anyway, I went out with my mum today to shop (she came from JB), after she left I was on my way home. At Boon Lay MRT station (where I alighted to get home), I need to answer nature's call, so I went to the station's gents. Phew! It was a relief since I h d the urge for quite some time. There was this rather cute guy in his 30s at the urinal which happened to have kept eye contact with me while I was at the basin. I went out and he followed. We just smiled at each other and we went separately. He turned ba k to look at me and I did the same, so I just stood there just looking at him. He walked towards me and introduced himself and left me his contact number. He rushed off for an appointment. Nothing sexual or sensual at all, but I was very much flattered and I felt confident then. It isn't a common and usual thing for me in events like these. And a good thing is I didn't hanky panky or deliberately flirt with anyone. A good experience and ver much an ego booster. Adrian, don't you think?

02/03/99 01:54:10

Name: ahboi

Comments:

it is always nice to be back here..

1.) hahahah, i can see how sotong had managed to improve his already bountiful coffers... peddling p--n, indeed ! oi buddy, soon you will be squirting blue ink, right ? :-) btw, since quite a handful of guys here are enthralled with gay p--n, perhaps u ca give some serious thoughts about forming a [members] club to exchange vcds, organise viewing sessions (*grin*), share commentaries, fantasies, etc. i see $$$ potential. hiak hiak hiak.

2.) hey ak, so uppity already ah ? apparently the "water-torture" techniques gleaned from steve-the-rubbish-dump-explorer had worked wonders ! really, there is no need to mention, it was the least i could had done for a dude in distress. heehee.

3.) spunky dearie, c'here. let me give u a hug. the love prose is quite pretty. thanks for sharing it with us. and i do hope that your spirits is somewhat uplifted by now. all the best.

02/03/99 00:05:40

Name: actionkid

Comments:

neil.. welcum to the page.. Heheh.. Wow.. you actually covered all our archives??! Amazing achievement. To be honest, I can't help cringing whenever I read the archives.. goosepimples crawl all over me to think that I actually wrote some of those stuffs But on the other hand, it's nice coz it serves as a lil journal of my sexploits the past year.. aaaanyway, hi there Sotong.. nice to see ya live and kicking and sharing your black juice on this page again.. Wah.. a soft p--n gay vcd?? I've never seen that one before.. can I look-see?

02/02/99 16:39:15

Name: neil

My URL: Visit Me

Your Nationality: sin

Comments:

i was blown into tis bulletin about a month ago. For many nites, after reading your postings, i couldn't sleep well but i m not blaming you for giving me panda shades. many of your sharings in a year or so( i have just finished readings the archive) have ouched my heart. for sure your sexual experiences have left me staring in awe and no doubt about it, i have my fair share of s(explosion).in front of the monitor. your witty and so-velly funny exchanges of words created a small havoc and it sure brighten my days. i m without a friend to share thoughts about our perculiar selves.Sooooooo happy to have found you. i thank all of you from the bottom of my heart! Cheers!

02/02/99 15:31:51

Name: Sotong

My Email: Email Me

Comments:

Errrr, this is embarrassing. I have a gay VCD which is up for grabs. Bought it from some ah pek in JB. (These peddlers don��t even blink an eye when they see your selection) But I must add first that this is just soft-p--n NOT the X-rated type. Those inte sted in having it for free can just mail me with the arrangement for collection. First cum first serve, ya? Hiak! Hiak!

02/02/99 13:46:48

Name: gammy My URL: Visit Me

My Email: Email Me Your Fav Body Type: stocky

Comments:

Hey 65yo hot stud... you sound really hot!!! i think there's surely a market for you! hope you'll drop me a mail!

02/02/99 07:38:36

Name: trunks

Your Fav Sextivity: public sex.

Your Fav Body Type: any.

Comments:

It was just yesterday, I went to Bishan swimming pool, and decided to take a swim. I reached the pool, undressed in the bath room and decided to masturbate before going into the pool. So, I stripped, changed into my flourescent Bods trunks, and went to th toilet to jerk off. As I was fantasising about my dream man, I did not notice that the door lock was not porperly closed... Then, this guy pushed opened the door and came into the cubicle with me... I was surprised, but he was rather okay looking, so I j st stroked my cock in front of him. He didn't look surprised (so I guess he was trying for the door). He came in, turned to lock the door properly and then reached for my dick. He was wearing trunks too. And slowly his dick got hard and started to peek th ugh the top of his trunks. He resumed stroking my dick, and I pulled his trunks down. Then I got down on my knees and sucked him off. He was about 8 inches hige and I had trouble swallowing it whole. So I just sucked the head, and slobbered all over that agnificent 8 inch. I licked his balls, and nuzzled his balls, and he moaned softly, signalling me to stand up. He then reciprocated and kneeled down to suck my dick... I slowly sucked me and licked my dick head... It was heaven... We both got down and got into the 69 position and started to suck each other off... It was heaven, both of us sucking the other's dick and balls. Suddenly, I could feel his dick head grow bigger, and he came into my mouth, spasming, and sending me over the top as well, by sucking on my cock deeper. And I came... We both got up and listened for any sounds outside. As soon as it was quiet, we both got out, went for a swim to clean off, and I went home with him...

02/02/99 00:48:50

Name: surepal My URL: Visit Me

My Email: Email Me Your Nationality: SG

Comments:

The VCD/pirated CD shop at the Adelphi has ceased operation about 3 months ago.. No idea where they moved to; but it is possible that they just decided to close shop completely.

02/01/99 17:25:18

Name: hot stud

Comments:

hi guys!!!!! I am 65 and looking for a young and strong sex partner.....anybody interested????? I have been reading the bulletin board and i think there is a market for old studs like me here..heh heh heh......so anyone of you guys interested???/let know nd we can keep in touch.....I might be 65 but i was an ex-body building......so......my physique is still ok.....heh...

02/01/99 14:03:33

Name: Mark

Your Nationality: 23(S'pore)

Comments:

Hi, Can someone provide info on the gay VCD place at Adelphi? If it's not all too inconvenient I'll appreciate if you can disclose the address or at least the company's name. Also how is one gonna gain access to apply for membership? Do you have some pointe s/personal experience to share eg. which are the better choices; is bargaining practised? Thanks.

02/01/99 07:29:44

Name: C h a r l e s

Your Nationality: U N o A l r e a d y

Comments:

Sotong is back!

Sotong's back!

Sotong

Sotong

Sotong

Sotong

Sotong

Sotong

is

back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Sotong! Welcome back!

Glad your business is doing well. Glad I didn't have you for dinner (must have been one of your cousins). Will mail you under separate cover.

Sting

Again, not to worry, the 60+ year old I've dated is very socially active and happy. Life is only bleak if you do nothing to change it. I am actively working to change my life and I am now *much* happier.

02/01/99 04:49:29

Name: Spunky

My URL: Visit Me

Comments:

Something I got from a friend. Funny, I feel liberated...... If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart. If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love him/her, f el honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage, do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how you deal with you and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different. If you fall in love with another and he/she falls in love with you and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame. Let it go. There is a reason and a meaning. You will know in time. Remember that you don't choose love. Love ch oses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it oor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in anyway you can. This is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from t em. The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love. They forget that the secret of love is that t is a gift and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away. Remember this and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons and its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into saying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to ou. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do.. Love always has been and always will be a mystery. Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life. IF YOU KEEP YOUR HEART OPEN, IT WILL COME AGAIN! "Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin."

02/01/99 01:50:46

Name: Sotong

My Email: Email Me

Comments:

Charles! A thousand apologies! Had been quite busy. My business had actually improved during these trying times. Furthermore, I had the daunting task of trying to close my accounts... Aaaaanyway, apologies again if I had made you resort to spelling your name backw rds. If you do drop by in this part of the world, I'll buy dinner. Hehehe... Had tried on several occasions to locate your address... mail me for private chats?

A warm welcome to all the newbies. And hi to spunky, actionkid and ahboi. Hate to say this but I could identify with Charles when he said some people are just not-so-good at keeping in touch with others. Ahboi, how r u?? Where's Netjumper btw? Okie, take care everyone.