Are Singapore Men Timid ?

[Guest Timidity]

I have been getting this impression lately from reading BW. I read other forums from other countries, have worked abroad and also have friends overseas.

Does anybody else notice that Singapore men appear very timid when compared with men from other countries? Or is it just the kind of posts I find very often on BW ?

People seem to be scared of their own shadows:

• Scared people find out they are gay
  
• Scared to get STD from sex
  
• Scared to travel overseas alone
  
• etc etc
  

Really, I am not slamming anybody, I am just wondering if it is a local phenomenon or a BW phenomenon, or am I imagining it all up?

[Undies69]

People seem to be scared of their own shadows:

• Scared people find out they are gay
  

====== the public is still behaving in the 1960s where Man has to be with Woman.....

====== So Singaporean gays are not scared of people finding them out they are gay, its the Policy that govern us to be 100% discrete. As the sexual orientation will jeopardise our careers as long as you are depending the salary for a living in Singapore.

• Scared to get STD from sex
  

====== Life is precious, so who doesnt scared of getting STD from sex, even woman or any other man all over the world are afraid of it

====== So its not just Singaporean man...

• Scared to travel overseas alone
  

====== This i cannot challenge. But from my working experience, and my circle of frends, so far NONE of them are afraid of traveling overseas alone

• etc etc
  

[Freedom711]

I do agree wif Undies 69. Ppl are being afraid of being gay becox of the perception of our society. Sadly, Singapore being a leading and modernized nation has citizen with mindset of the 1960s. Despite that our younger generation is pretty open towards to gay and lesbian community, however that does not apply to the matured generation. Families may not be able to accept a member with different orientation.

Everyone is AFRAID of getting STD and AIDS. Noone welcomes them with open arms. Perhaps Singaporean guys are just more display their fear in more expressive manners while others conceal it with a brave act.

[lovehandle]

undies, are u saying about yourself? U announce to the whole world u r.... undies lover?

Sporean men are afraid of ghosts or watch a horror show, some afraid of insects(not me for sure)

i travel alone too to America and dangerous c'tries etc

who is not afraid of getting HIV, it s not so much of 1 getting it, but more of u r affecting your families right?

[Undies69]

undies, are u saying about yourself? U announce to the whole world u r.... undies lover? Sporean men are afraid of ghosts or watch a horror show, some afraid of insects(not me for sure) i travel alone too to America and dangerous c'tries etc who is not afraid of getting HIV, it s not so much of 1 getting it, but more of u r affecting your families right?

Sorry i dun get wat you mean by am i saying about myself ?

YES i can announce to the whole world im undies lover but tat does not mean im gay.... I have few 100% Straight men with kids are also undies lover... They buy sexy underwear to wear for their wives in bed.. not to public.. As for me, i like to do Cam to Cam...

[sum1outhere_03]

• Scared to travel overseas alone
• etc etc

Really, I am not slamming anybody, I am just wondering if it is a local phenomenon or a BW phenomenon, or am I imagining it all up?

Well I travel overseas alone myself before, once in 2005 and another in 2009.

[Guest Rivrics]

Generally Singaporean's are very sheltered. There is a general tendency to be narrow minded and not as open. Fear of unknown is defensive behavior (Fight) or plain running away (flight) from the problem. They cannot confront problem by discussing further or finding out more. Tendency to be perfectionistic as sees high standards as demanding. It does not mean ALL Singaporeans are like that, I have only met a very small handful who are otherwise.

[fitcubsg]

Well, I am singaporean and quite proud of it. I am by far not timid, in fact as I get older...I get the notion I am becoming more opinionated and "in your face" too! I travel alone, I went to university alone and lived in USA for 6 years, guess the living overseas part made me stronger and also the American education system made me think for myself, think outside the box as well.

Thus, being home again for the last 9 years, its hard to understand how gay singaporeans think, I am proud to be Singaporean but my open minded thinking does not make me popular. I feel that Singaporeans, gay ones tend to be very judgmental, ageist and insular and its disheartening as well.

[koolkai]

[*]Scared to travel overseas alone [*]etc etc

Really, I am not slamming anybody, I am just wondering if it is a local phenomenon or a BW phenomenon, or am I imagining it all up?

I travel overseas very often by myself. I dont feel afraid at all :thumb:

[lovehandle]

Sorry i dun get wat you mean by am i saying about myself ?

YES i can announce to the whole world im undies lover but tat does not mean im gay.... I have few 100% Straight men with kids are also undies lover... They buy sexy underwear to wear for their wives in bed.. not to public.. As for me, i like to do Cam to Cam...

u r not gay?

[boybelow]

• Scared people find out they are gay
  

above item should refer to all Asians and not just Singaporeans. Asians in general are close-minded and rejects taboos when it comes to sexuality. We have this black and white, stereo-typical notion of gender roles and normalities. (Ex. Homo is illegal in Japan, Malaysia, the Arab world and Singapore; gays are discriminated in China, Korea, Indonesia and the Philippines. The only country in Asia I can think of - that is gay-friendly, is Thailand).

• Scared to get STD from sex
  

all races should be wary of this as we should value our lives.

• Scared to travel overseas alone
  

i say Singaporeans are not afraid to travel alone per se but they prefer traveling with a companion - family/friends.

• etc etc
  

[Roger]

Its the way they were brought up. A large part has to do with their protective and ignorant parents, society and friends also shape the way they act. They have to change their mindset to think and act independently .

I don't think the Sing garhmen will encourage that.

[Guest Timidity]

Its the way they were brought up. A large part has to do with their protective and ignorant parents, society and friends also shape the way they act. They have to change their mindset to think and act independently .

I don't think the Sing garhmen will encourage that.

Its the way they were brought up. A large part has to do with their protective and ignorant parents, society and friends also shape the way they act. They have to change their mindset to think and act independently .

I don't think the Sing garhmen will encourage that.

Quite so. I think the Gahmen has quite alot to do with this. Just compare the national character with HK and Taiwan. We have a large inherited cultural overlap, no history of communist government, and yet our national characters are vastly different. Generally people from HK are very "gung-ho", if they think something needs to be done, they go and do it. In Singapore, when a foreigner pisses a Singaporean off in a bus, he doesn't confront the person, but complains in Stomp or BW instead ??? WTF ????

Of course I am not saying every Singapore man is like that, I am trying to see it in terms of national character. This being said, there is plus and minus in every national character, we are no different. But I believe it is only when we can stand back and look at our own weaknesses objectively is when we can improve ourselves.

Back to origins of the timidity. I see it as a national character influenced (unintentionally) by the Gahmen. In some countries, there is the idea of "small government", where people want to run their own lives, and the government has the smallest impact on their lives as possible. In every country the population decides the proportion of involvement by the government in everyday life. In Singapore, dependency on the Gahmen it seems to have taken on an especially large part of our national psyche. I dont think it was intentional, but perhaps an accident resulting from excellent economic development as well as taking care of all our needs, cradle-to-grave. It is an unspoken off trade off, we trade security (financial, health, social) for refusal of open criticism of the Gahmen.

[cracklesizzle]

Quite so. I think the Gahmen has quite alot to do with this. Just compare the national character with HK and Taiwan. We have a large inherited cultural overlap, no history of communist government, and yet our national characters are vastly different. Generally people from HK are very "gung-ho", if they think something needs to be done, they go and do it. In Singapore, when a foreigner pisses a Singaporean off in a bus, he doesn't confront the person, but complains in Stomp or BW instead ??? WTF ????

Of course I am not saying every Singapore man is like that, I am trying to see it in terms of national character. This being said, there is plus and minus in every national character, we are no different. But I believe it is only when we can stand back and look at our own weaknesses objectively is when we can improve ourselves.

Back to origins of the timidity. I see it as a national character influenced (unintentionally) by the Gahmen. In some countries, there is the idea of "small government", where people want to run their own lives, and the government has the smallest impact on their lives as possible. In every country the population decides the proportion of involvement by the government in everyday life. In Singapore, dependency on the Gahmen it seems to have taken on an especially large part of our national psyche. I dont think it was intentional, but perhaps an accident resulting from excellent economic development as well as taking care of all our needs, cradle-to-grave. It is an unspoken off trade off, we trade security (financial, health, social) for refusal of open criticism of the Gahmen.

Yea, totally agree. In Singapore, everything is basically "spoon-fed" to us; our education, our social up-bringing etc. I guess this would cause us to take less risks and be more afraid of the consequences because, while growing up, we never had the opportunity to make mistakes. In Primary school, rote learning is always practiced. Since memorization is always used, there is hardly a chance for us to venture towards the wrong.

I can't speak on behalf of the rest, but for me, my mother was always extremely protective of me. I could hardly enjoy myself because of the things that I wasn't allowed to do as she was afraid something bad would happen to me. This again, leads to the lack of independence as I continued to mature; and only managed to find that confidence later in life. So, for the lack of a better word, this "kiasi" attribute is part and parcel of Singaporean culture, which is why I feel we are always 'scared' to do everything.

But of course, prevention is better than cure. Haha

Edited August 28, 2011 by cracklesizzle

[PaterTenebrarum]

Sure. Blame it all on the government. I am not pro-establishment. Far from it. But how "gungho" you are does not depend on your country is governed, imho. It's you own personality. Or perhaps one makes such biased a hypothesis based on the kinds of people one hangs around with.

Case in point, a friend of mine told me that when she was younger, she had always thought that all Singaporeans speak excellent English. Thats cos she was raised in a well-off English-speaking home, went to RGS, then to RJC and then she did law in NUS. So, all her life, she hanged around with, you know, the more atas crowd. It was when she became a lawyer that she found out that what she had thought all her life was wrong. She just hadn't mixed with people outside her comfort zone.

So, perhaps, if you go out and mingle with others more, you fill find out that generalisations like these, ie Singaporean men are timid, are largely untrue.

[fab]

Generally true as Singaporeans are raised to be more law abiding.

[PaterTenebrarum]

That's another sweeping statement, I think.

Edited August 28, 2011 by PaterTenebrarum

[Guest Timidity]

Sure. Blame it all on the government. I am not pro-establishment. Far from it. But how "gungho" you are does not depend on your country is governed, imho. It's you own personality. Or perhaps one makes such biased a hypothesis based on the kinds of people one hangs around with.

Case in point, a friend of mine told me that when she was younger, she had always thought that all Singaporeans speak excellent English. Thats cos she was raised in a well-off English-speaking home, went to RGS, then to RJC and then she did law in NUS. So, all her life, she hanged around with, you know, the more atas crowd. It was when she became a lawyer that she found out that what she had thought all her life was wrong. She just hadn't mixed with people outside her comfort zone.

So, perhaps, if you go out and mingle with others more, you fill find out that generalisations like these, ie Singaporean men are timid, are largely untrue.

My dear Pater,

I have been around the quite alot already. I have worked on 3 continents, interacted and shared thoughts with everything from foreign labourers to bishops to CEOs, and have lived well into my fourth decade. So please do not make an assumption about me. The object of starting this thread was precisely to ask if others also thought that Singapore men also appeared timid. I fully accept that my impression may not be correct; that is why I opened up the discussion in the first place. If you do not think so, just make your case in a polite manner. There is no need to be offensive to the other respondents.

It is you I should like to advise to:

• Read other's posts thoroughly and not comment only after reading bits and pieces.
  
• Use an offensive and curt manner to answer other's posts.
  
• Not accuse others of making sweeping statements, when your own smack of summary judgemental dismissal without asking for futher clarification.
  

All this being said, I avoid very tiresome flame wars, so I will leave it to the judgement of the readers to see if my comments make sense. I shall make no more direct communication with you.

Yours very truly,

Timidity

[Guest Guest]

only the rich and famous gays like Dick Lee, Glenn Goei and David Gan are not timid and not afraid to let people know they are gay

[PaterTenebrarum]

Timidity: If you think Im being rude then tough.

Edited August 28, 2011 by PaterTenebrarum

[happy.99]

true and false. some man are very afraid of their wives. but when away from their wives, they will behave like kings. i do not believe in $!^*|. everywhere there will be all sort of behaviour and people.

I work in service line. I have seen old man behave like gangster and rude in front of their PRC 'gold diggers'. that maybe be where these PRC 'gold diggers' learn to shout at people.

[Guest FkerPeter]

Timidity: If you think Im being rude then tough.

:whistle: