Guest Han Posted September 4, 2011 Report Share Posted September 4, 2011 Did yr parent know u r gay?How do they know about it?R u openly gay? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clickclock Posted September 4, 2011 Report Share Posted September 4, 2011 No they dont, but i'm prettys ure they suspect it. There was this one time when my little brother was so upset with my presence that he told my dad straight forward that he found gay pxxn on my old phone. My dad only said "your brother is just curious, and that's not important". In my opinion, its just best not to say anything.And i'm openly gay to everyone except worthless hooligans who are not well-read enough to understand homosexuality, my family and friends who have connections with my family.. gaycurious85 1 I draw sexy men, visit http://www.toastwire.tumblr.com click on 'My Artworks'. Willing to take on comissions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bi_Gym Posted September 4, 2011 Report Share Posted September 4, 2011 most parents know eventually, just they choose to be in silent, another respect way to accept their son as gay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted September 4, 2011 Report Share Posted September 4, 2011 most parents know eventually, just they choose to be in silent, another respect way to accept their son as gay.Yet I think u r right My parents just keep quiet never ask anything about my relationship.I wonder why until this days they still silent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ItsAMemo Posted September 4, 2011 Report Share Posted September 4, 2011 (edited) First person I came out to was my dad. He was pretty accepting of it (said it now made sense why I never seemed interested in girls). I think society is more accepting nowadays in general.My mom is another matter though. She's got some mental problems (as in really psychiatric) so I think it's best she doesn't know for her own sake.EDIT: I'm not openly gay, but I don't actively hide it either. I intend to tell anyone who asks me directly, and I sometimes reveal it directly to some of my closer friends when I feel the time is right (as in, not some random self-outing that's completely out of context during a conversation). Edited September 4, 2011 by ItsAMemo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malwync Posted September 4, 2011 Report Share Posted September 4, 2011 my parents know it but they don't believe it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest kudos Posted September 4, 2011 Report Share Posted September 4, 2011 Hmmm, I didn't out myself. My ex did it for me. LOL...Had a major fight nearby his home. Then his mother saw and heard everything. In the heat of the moment, he got frustrated and says that just because his mum knows about it, mine should too. I begged him not to do it. But he couldn't care less.Upon reaching my home, I managed to push him to my room and pleaded with him for one last time. He went to the living room, and proclaimed his love for me to my mother.I was only 17 at that time. He was in his 20s. Sigh.Till now (i'm 26), my parents tend to not to ask about my personal life. I mean, my family still loves me all. But I know, they can never accept me for being gay. But they can accept me as a son.I hate to see my mum cry. So it is best, she does not know much about my life. Once in a while, I will bring a girl back home as a friend. Just to make her smile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alien Posted September 4, 2011 Report Share Posted September 4, 2011 my parents know it but they don't believe it... U r rite, even u tell pple tht u r gay, some of them dun believe it, whether u told ur parents or friends.I told my friend i interested in guys but my friend told me i am just "confused", and not 100% gay! 对自己好是一种幸福， 对别人好是一种积福。 Spend time counting your blessings, not airing your complaints. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lameua Posted September 4, 2011 Report Share Posted September 4, 2011 Did yr parent know u r gay? How do they know about it? R u openly gay? tink they dk,but they knew i went to sauna cos i confessed to them.....i'm a bi 我会好好的等待我的王子出现。。。 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lameua Posted September 4, 2011 Report Share Posted September 4, 2011 most parents know eventually, just they choose to be in silent, another respect way to accept their son as gay. Absolutely true...they rather b quiet abt it....my dad even tink tt its a phase evry guy will hav to gt thru... 我会好好的等待我的王子出现。。。 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 Mine know... i told my mum after 7 years into my relationship... Initially, she was unhappy and sad...But accepted it when i asked her to tell me frankly what she wants for me in a relationship.Her reply to me was "i want you to be happy and be loved by someone"And i told her "I have found this person, who loves me more than i love him and is bringing me joy and happiness for the last 7 years"She smiled at me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lang Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 Not my parents. My 17 yo nephew know ... he used my laptop and found all previous webpages surfed in the "History". Not sure if he told my brother. He behaves normally as usual -- good boy he is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 Mine know... i told my mum after 7 years into my relationship... Initially, she was unhappy and sad... But accepted it when i asked her to tell me frankly what she wants for me in a relationship. Her reply to me was "i want you to be happy and be loved by someone" And i told her "I have found this person, who loves me more than i love him and is bringing me joy and happiness for the last 7 years" She smiled at me wow, congrats. I find it so hard to find love in the gay world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uji Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 My whole family know that I'm a gaywhen I was in my early 20's! Most of my friends who are a marry man also know that I'm a gay & they all accepted ma as what I am. I'm open to certain people only! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alien Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 Mine know... i told my mum after 7 years into my relationship... Initially, she was unhappy and sad...But accepted it when i asked her to tell me frankly what she wants for me in a relationship.Her reply to me was "i want you to be happy and be loved by someone"And i told her "I have found this person, who loves me more than i love him and is bringing me joy and happiness for the last 7 years"She smiled at me Good for u and so happy for u. Wish someone close to me will tell me this: "i want you to be happy and be loved by someone". 对自己好是一种幸福， 对别人好是一种积福。 Spend time counting your blessings, not airing your complaints. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fab Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 How old was your didi?Was he tranmatised by the gay p0rn?No they dont, but i'm prettys ure they suspect it. There was this one time when my little brother was so upset with my presence that he told my dad straight forward that he found gay pxxn on my old phone. My dad only said "your brother is just curious, and that's not important". In my opinion, its just best not to say anything.And i'm openly gay to everyone except worthless hooligans who are not well-read enough to understand homosexuality, my family and friends who have connections with my family.. 鍾意就好，理佢男定女 never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want. 结缘不结怨 解怨不解缘 After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say. 看穿不说穿 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clickclock Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 its "traumatised" lah!and obviously, its a big thing to take in when you know such a thing about your brother.He's 4 years younger. I draw sexy men, visit http://www.toastwire.tumblr.com click on 'My Artworks'. Willing to take on comissions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lang Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 The moment paused at 7:39 minutes, the rest was history ...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVA_-yB761E&feature=related Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blacque Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 Not open about my orientation.. but I think my family members know that I'm gay, and are in denial about it. My sisters and Mum had stumbled upon the Grindr app in my phone before... argh. Instagram: vodkabaker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nizal Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 once your parents ask, it means they are ready to accept it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suckling_pig Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 once your parents ask, it means they are ready to accept it.Very insightful !SP We see things not as they are, but as WE are - The TalmudWhen the student is ready, the teacher will appear - The Buddha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evianwater Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 once your parents ask, it means they are ready to accept it.Nope.. That wasn't the case for me.. My parents asked me after exposing me, wanting to hear it from my own mouth. They didn't accept me being AJ. They sent me for counseling and bought lotsa books to try and set me straight.. Of course all these didn't work cos i didn't want to turn straight even if i could. Back then when they discovered, i was in a very blissful r/s and i didn't wanna lose my bf. They found out when i was merely 16..Now, my parents still love me as much though i know they'll never approve of my AJ lifestyle and relationships. I just have to hide certain activities from them and lie sometimes because honesty might not always be the best policy in situations like these.. My parents are definitely not in denial but live with the fact that they can do nothing about it. They know that if they force me, they will only lose me, and this would be even more disastrous than me being gay.I'm not exactly open. I deny sometimes when certain ppl ask me. i only tell / admit to those friends whom i'm comforatble with. I hide not because i'm unhappy or uncomfortable being AJ. It's because realistically, we're in conservative singapore and not everyone is accepting us yet. It's impt for us to blend in with the crowd in order to make subtle changes... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowball Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 天下父母心，谁不望子成龙 望女成凤，然后成家立业。。。要年老的父母 “ 光明正大 ” 地接受儿子是同性恋者是何等的残忍，到底有多少父母做得到？西方思想都没那么开放更何况是东方人？他们能做到默认，就已经是最大的慈悲，我们也应该站在他们的立场想想，不是吗？ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
passby Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 tink they dk,but they knew i went to sauna cos i confessed to them.....i'm a biDid u specifically mentioned its gay sauna? Otherwise, what make gtg sauna gayish? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Des.A Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 after reading this thread and i realize that my family has NEVER ever asked me why i dont have a girlfriend, well i think they do suspect, and because i am feeling guilty towards them, i am trying my very best to fulfill my responsibility as a son, deep down in my heart i know how much i do it will not make it up to them, actually i am scared if they were to ask me someday, how am i going to react ? how am i going to face them ? there's this thoughts that came through my mind always, " maybe i should turn back straight since i am a bi" ( i do like girls sometime, ) BUT, i think is very hard because i always imagine that i'm with the guy i like, and not a girl beside me.oh man, what should i do ?giving them a comfortable life with no monetary issue ?but like what i have said, no matter what i do, it will not make it up them, i recon my parent is those very traditional typeWHY AM I FEELING GUILTY TOWARDS THEM ? , esp my mum.my dad has a mistress outside, my mum knew it but kept quietmy sister is like. $@#$%^^%$#, she dont even care for both of them, including memum is always worried for monetary issue ( bills, fines etc )WHAT IF she found out ?who should i seek help ?? do you guys thinks that its possible for me to turn back straight ? when i have sex with guys already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alien Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 Not open about my orientation.. but I think my family members know that I'm gay, and are in denial about it. My sisters and Mum had stumbled upon the Grindr app in my phone before... argh.How come ur sisters n mum know Grindr app is gay? Even i am gay, i dun even know Grindr is gay app?! :oops: 对自己好是一种幸福， 对别人好是一种积福。 Spend time counting your blessings, not airing your complaints. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foreign Talent Posted September 8, 2011 Report Share Posted September 8, 2011 Well let me share my story - my family is rather unique in how my parents have become so totally gay friendly. I am totally out to my parents and they are 100% cool with it. Not because they were that gay friendly but I have a sister who demonstrated that the grass on the other side of the fence, ie. the 'get married and have kids' route and go oh so disastrously wrong. I have two sisters - one is in her 40s and single (and is simply not interested in marrying or children) whilst the other is married with a son. You might imagine - Chinese family, Chinese parents - my parents would supposedly be thrilled with her for giving them their only grandchild right? Wrong. You see, my sister married a man who's not very nice to her - it's a difficult marriage that even I am amazed has survived that long. She has the in-laws from hell and I swear her mother-in-law is just plain psycho whilst her father-in-law is a rampant alcoholic with violent outbursts. Don't get me started with the rest of that family - her husband's family is a bunch of crazy people who fight with each other (and everyone else) all the time. They are uncouth, uncultured, aggressive and psychotic.Oh and add to that, they have a disabled son who is severely autistic. My sister has a job she hates but is forced to keep because of the staggering medical bills for her autistic son who requires a lot of therapy to ever hope to lead a normal life (if ever). Believe you me when I tell you I am only touching the tip of the iceberg about how bad things are for my sister - the in-laws from hell, a difficult husband she cannot talk to, her autistic son who drives her nuts and problems at work. Oh and please don't romanticize parents with disabled children - if you do that, I'll let you babysit my nephew for just 30 minutes and you will be driven up the wall too. My sister had severe post-natal depression that nearly led her to kill herself, and that post-natal depression just turned into long-term depression as her situation got from bad to worse. She is on a lot of medication to help her cope, just to wake up in the morning and get dressed to go to work. It is heart-breaking for me to see my own sister in this state - she was so brilliant in school, she was a straight A student who went to a top secondary school followed by a top JC then NUS - she had so much ambition for what she wanted to achieve in life and to see her reduced to this state in severe long term depression caused by her marriage and family, man, I find it hard to describe how sad it makes me feel. Anyway, my parents have gone out of their way to try to help my sister cope with her difficult situation - trying to take care of her when she got very depressed, supporting her financially when things got so difficult, taking her of her son when she had to work extra long hours to keep her job and guess what? My parents tell me that my sister is taking them for granted - sure they love their grandson (despite the fact that autistic children are very difficult to love as they are emotionally vapid and behave very badly) but goodness me, my parents just look at her and think, "how did things get to this stage? How did things get so very wrong with such our bright and intelligent girl?" My dad even told me that he wishes that they would get a divorce for this marriage was such a mistake - but it's too late now that they have a son and this autistic boy would probably be very damaged by the divorce should it happen. Compare and contrast that to me, I have worked abroad all my life - I am financially sound, I have a career, I own a few properties, I have achieved a lot in what I do and most of all, I don't give my parents any trouble. They can see that I am happy in what I do, I am healthy and have a good work-life balance. I have good friends in both cities where I work (London and Singapore), I have a good partner whom they adore and get along well with. They don't have to worry about me - they know I will be okay, they know I know how to take care of myself. And that's all they want really, they have brought me up, I'm an now an adult, they want to know that they've done a decent job in raising me to be a good person. Yes I am gay and I am totally out to them from a young age - and guess what? It isn't even an issue, in fact, they just want their children to be happy. Likewise for my other sister who chose not to pursue the marriage/children route - they give her no pressure to get married either after having seen just how badly wrong that option can go. I have read your posts in this thread and here's the problem with a lot of you: you think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. You imagine that straight people have happy families with intelligent, obedient children. Ha! Please, allow me to introduce you to my sister's family in Singapore. I'll let you spend a day with them and then you can see just how wrong a heterosexual marriage can go and how very dysfunctional their family life can be. Face the facts: even if you do "go straight", marry a woman and start a family - what makes you think that things will go perfectly well and you won't end up with a family as dysfunctional as my sister's? The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence, married straight people have all kinds of screwed up problems with their relationships as well. It's shocking for me to read posts by people like Des.A asking if he can go straight - as if going straight is the answer to all his problems, as if straight relationships are devoid of any kinds of trouble. How myopic can you get my friend? Geez. wan862011 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Poo Posted September 9, 2011 Report Share Posted September 9, 2011 Now you know why i wanted very much to be gay.Nobody else need to know about it unless they already knew. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foreign Talent Posted September 9, 2011 Report Share Posted September 9, 2011 Bravo! A very well written article indeed. Four cheers for homosexuality!Thanks mate, all I am trying to do is address the common problem here that so many on this thread are under the misinformed impression that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, when really, straight married people have all kinds of problems. At the end of the day, we want to be happy, our parents want us to be happy - it's terribly simplistic to assume "get married, have kids and you'll have a happy family". My sister did just that and she now has a very unhappy family. Perhaps some of the people here have parents who are guilty of assuming that "get married, have kids and you will be happy" - you only have to look around Singapore and see how many unhappy married straight couples there are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topLTR_93 Posted September 9, 2011 Report Share Posted September 9, 2011 You don't choose your sexual orientation. I will never get turned on by a woman's private parts. My parents know that I am gay, even though I had no explicitly said so. Their reactions were not so warm though. They constantly teased me (imagine that coming from your own parents). Mum threatened to disown me and Dad sadly acknowledged it. Sianz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wan862011 Posted September 9, 2011 Report Share Posted September 9, 2011 Well let me share my story - my family is rather unique in how my parents have become so totally gay friendly. I am totally out to my parents and they are 100% cool with it. Not because they were that gay friendly but I have a sister who demonstrated that the grass on the other side of the fence, ie. the 'get married and have kids' route and go oh so disastrously wrong.I have two sisters - one is in her 40s and single (and is simply not interested in marrying or children) whilst the other is married with a son. You might imagine - Chinese family, Chinese parents - my parents would supposedly be thrilled with her for giving them their only grandchild right?Wrong.You see, my sister married a man who's not very nice to her - it's a difficult marriage that even I am amazed has survived that long. She has the in-laws from hell and I swear her mother-in-law is just plain psycho whilst her father-in-law is a rampant alcoholic with violent outbursts. Don't get me started with the rest of that family - her husband's family is a bunch of crazy people who fight with each other (and everyone else) all the time. They are uncouth, uncultured, aggressive and psychotic.Oh and add to that, they have a disabled son who is severely autistic. My sister has a job she hates but is forced to keep because of the staggering medical bills for her autistic son who requires a lot of therapy to ever hope to lead a normal life (if ever).Believe you me when I tell you I am only touching the tip of the iceberg about how bad things are for my sister - the in-laws from hell, a difficult husband she cannot talk to, her autistic son who drives her nuts and problems at work. Oh and please don't romanticize parents with disabled children - if you do that, I'll let you babysit my nephew for just 30 minutes and you will be driven up the wall too.My sister had severe post-natal depression that nearly led her to kill herself, and that post-natal depression just turned into long-term depression as her situation got from bad to worse. She is on a lot of medication to help her cope, just to wake up in the morning and get dressed to go to work. It is heart-breaking for me to see my own sister in this state - she was so brilliant in school, she was a straight A student who went to a top secondary school followed by a top JC then NUS - she had so much ambition for what she wanted to achieve in life and to see her reduced to this state in severe long term depression caused by her marriage and family, man, I find it hard to describe how sad it makes me feel.Anyway, my parents have gone out of their way to try to help my sister cope with her difficult situation - trying to take care of her when she got very depressed, supporting her financially when things got so difficult, taking her of her son when she had to work extra long hours to keep her job and guess what? My parents tell me that my sister is taking them for granted - sure they love their grandson (despite the fact that autistic children are very difficult to love as they are emotionally vapid and behave very badly) but goodness me, my parents just look at her and think, "how did things get to this stage? How did things get so very wrong with such our bright and intelligent girl?" My dad even told me that he wishes that they would get a divorce for this marriage was such a mistake - but it's too late now that they have a son and this autistic boy would probably be very damaged by the divorce should it happen.Compare and contrast that to me, I have worked abroad all my life - I am financially sound, I have a career, I own a few properties, I have achieved a lot in what I do and most of all, I don't give my parents any trouble. They can see that I am happy in what I do, I am healthy and have a good work-life balance. I have good friends in both cities where I work (London and Singapore), I have a good partner whom they adore and get along well with. They don't have to worry about me - they know I will be okay, they know I know how to take care of myself. And that's all they want really, they have brought me up, I'm an now an adult, they want to know that they've done a decent job in raising me to be a good person. Yes I am gay and I am totally out to them from a young age - and guess what? It isn't even an issue, in fact, they just want their children to be happy. Likewise for my other sister who chose not to pursue the marriage/children route - they give her no pressure to get married either after having seen just how badly wrong that option can go.I have read your posts in this thread and here's the problem with a lot of you: you think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. You imagine that straight people have happy families with intelligent, obedient children. Ha! Please, allow me to introduce you to my sister's family in Singapore. I'll let you spend a day with them and then you can see just how wrong a heterosexual marriage can go and how very dysfunctional their family life can be.Face the facts: even if you do "go straight", marry a woman and start a family - what makes you think that things will go perfectly well and you won't end up with a family as dysfunctional as my sister's? The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence, married straight people have all kinds of screwed up problems with their relationships as well. It's shocking for me to read posts by people like Des.A asking if he can go straight - as if going straight is the answer to all his problems, as if straight relationships are devoid of any kinds of trouble. How myopic can you get my friend? Geez.Bravo and fantastic story Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foreign Talent Posted September 9, 2011 Report Share Posted September 9, 2011 Bravo and fantastic story Thanks but I only wish that's just a 'story' - that screwed up situation is in fact reality, my reality for my family and it's hardly an ideal situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jayy Posted September 9, 2011 Report Share Posted September 9, 2011 I think my mum knows. When I was much younger she found bear pxxn on my comp (left the file on the desktop. genius!). She sort of confronted me about it but I really can't remember what happened... but it went something along the lines of "don't ever let me catch these things on your comp again". That was ages ago. More than a decade has passed and she's never directly asked me and I've never told her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foreign Talent Posted September 9, 2011 Report Share Posted September 9, 2011 I think my mum knows. When I was much younger she found bear pxxn on my comp (left the file on the desktop. genius!). She sort of confronted me about it but I really can't remember what happened... but it went something along the lines of "don't ever let me catch these things on your comp again".That was ages ago. More than a decade has passed and she's never directly asked me and I've never told her.May I just point out please had you been surfing straight pxxn and your mother saw pics of naked women having sex - she would've probably reacted the same way. Our parents are simply quite easily shocked by pxxn - they did not grow up with the internet the way we have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Des.A Posted September 9, 2011 Report Share Posted September 9, 2011 first of all, thank you for the article, i guess maybe i am putting on too much stress for myself, perhaps you are right being a straight, married a girl and start a family does not mean that they lead a blissful, but i just can't help but to feel sad whenever i think of my mum, i think my mum is really leading a hard life, i wanted to break the news to them, but i can't bear to do so, i scared that the consequence is too big for me to handle it, but i think your article kind of.. enlighten me somehow in someways, guess i need more time to ponder, anyway, i am going to enlist soon ( yes i am only 20) , guess i shall take this 2 years to ponder, maybe there are ways for me, it just that i dont know, even if i know, i might not want to take up this path. HAHA. but i am really feeling much more better after reading your article, at first i thought that there wont be anyone to reply my ranting, now i know there are. maybe i should start to make some AJ friend? LOL.thankyouverymuch ^^Des.A Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foreign Talent Posted September 9, 2011 Report Share Posted September 9, 2011 (edited) Des, it's not an 'article' - that's me pouring out my heart and soul to you guys sharing what is a very intimate 100% true story about my family. Like I said before, I wish it was just a story about someone else's family, but damn guess what? That's my family and that's my sister I'm talking about.Des, I didn't realize you were only 20 so I am going to tell you something those of us who are older would have found out around your age. It may seem obvious but it's worth us talking about it. At some point, you will become a lot more intelligent than your more. You have had the benefit of an excellent education she never had (try asking her what her education was like and how bad schools were back then) - you have all this wonderful technology and opportunities to learn so much more than she ever will. Naturally, you will become a lot more intelligent and wiser than she ever will be - and she will be proud of just how intelligent, capable and wise you have become.By that token, that does mean that your mum's understanding about family, society and life is limited - and she may be misinformed and ignorant about many aspects of your sexuality. The onus is then on you to educate her and inform her - you mustn't be afraid to correct her if she is wrong, give her the correct facts if she is misinformed and explain things to her if she is confused .You may have helped your mum with technology - maybe you helped explained how to use a mobile phone or a computer to her, well get used to it. Increasing, it will be you teaching her - rather than her teaching you and she will at some point realize, "hey, my boy-boy has grown up and is an intelligent man, I should listen to him rather than tell him what to do".At which point, your relationship changes from a parent-child relationship to that of an adult-to-adult relationship whereby there is a fundamental shift in the dynamics of the relationship - but you have to earn the right to be treated like an adult. If you prove that you are sensible, capable and trustworthy, then your parents will stop treating you like a kid and start respecting you like an adult. If you behave in an immature manner and your life is a mess, you can be 40 and they will still treat you like you're 12.The challenge for you Des, is to cross that barrier first - gain their respect as an adult, and when they trust you to make your own decisions, that's the point to come out to them (if you should choose to) - but not before. Then they are far more likely to accept it at that point. I don't know you, but from the way you write, I don't think you've crossed that vital threshold yet.PS. If my English too cheem, then just say so lah, I can post in Chinese or Malay too if you prefer. Edited September 9, 2011 by Foreign Talent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts