Do You Have Many Personalities / Behave Differently In Different Groups? = Identity Crisis? (compiled)

[Guest Guest]

I find that I have many personalities. I don't seem to have a distinct personality and I hate it. Sometimes I dunno who I am and feel like I have an identity crisis.

For example, I can talk alot if I'm in a group with people who are very noisy and chatty as well. However, I can also be all serious; prim and proper if I'm with people of that type. If people from the other side were to see how I behave on the other side, they will be very surprised.

Are u guys like that?

[angel_dust]

absolutely

[crazyfreak]

i guess it is human nature that we are growing to adapt to different environments in order to blend in...may be a defensive thing or just a matter of growing used to it...it is not multiple personalities but just many facets of your unique personality shaped by the encounters and experiences you have had up until now...for example i can be str8 acting of effeminate, act classy or go all malay sounding with different groups of people like a switch to adapt to that particular environment so as to not feel out of place and attacked...

[oralb]

oh yes we do, that's part of our defense mechanism.

Simple analogy, you will behave differently in front of your parents/ family as opposed to your close friends.

however taking that to an extreme will be MPD multiple personality disorder or dissociative identity disorder, in which not only your personality differs, your perception of your gender, nationality, values drastically varies.

[Guest Proper Idiom]

见人说人话，见鬼说鬼话

[TheAntisen]

I don't really take it's as having different personalities. I think it's more of having various layers and barriers and lowering them down depending on the person.

Parents and superiors: Very reserved and unwilling to open up to them.

Sibling and close friends: I am very open to them.

Acquaintances: Reserved, but I'll be open if I get a good vibe from the person.

Others: Depends on the person. If I have a reason to be defensive, I will not really be open to them. If they feel uncomfortable around me, I'll have a hard time talking because I have to spend too much energy watching what I say and how it will affect them.

[lifes pretty good 02]

sounds like a game of poker , hahaha , doesn't it ?

[iced_tea]

I think it's normal. I behave different with different people. It's group dynamics. Some people I feel more comfortable with, I'll make stupid jokes. And those you feel less comfortable or close with, you'd be more reserved. I noticed I can be quite quiet in a group but more lively when 1-on-1. As long as you are being natural and not contrived, it's fine.

[EasleyLim]

Define 'distinct' then.

Like most people have said here, it's not so much of multiple personalities but rather layers of vulnerability that you chose to show to the outside world. For example, you would crack dirty jokes in front of your close friends without batting an eyelid, but would you do so in front of your parents? The most common answer would be no. So it's really just how much of the 'complete' version of you that you're willing to show in a given situation. But parts of you will still be evident regardless of the situation. Just like how if you feel strongly for certain issues say... global warming, then you won't just go with the flow and abandon your convictions be it discussing it with close friends or distant relatives. It's tied to your very 'soul', so to speak.

Overall, your bits and pieces of your personality would shine through regardless of how much you try to hide it. So no worries, you're still you. Just not showing all of you all the time

Edited March 16, 2012 by EasleyLim

[Blacque]

In front of my parents, I'm a straight guy. With my close friends I'll be queer as hell. Does that count as split personality?

[TPY1314]

I always behaving serious at work, gym and public areas. I think it is because Im vey protective, introvert and don't really like to reveal my real personality in front of ppl. At home I'm completely different

[Jeremy Cwq]

At home, in front of parents, am a str8/decent guy.

In front of close friends, noisy and talkative like hell!

With aj clique, the most talkative guy and the one keep convo goes on.

At home, at completely diff, like introvert.

[qedcwc]

Different? Go to China, u adapt to their accent.

Goto Taiwan, u speak like them.

Goto UK, u adapt to Queen's English....

More like in human's nature....

[Guest Lost personality.]

I am still trying to look for my real personality. When I was young, I was very quiet and reserve. When I reached teenage years, I was very active and fun, When I reached my working years, I have split personalities, When I am reaching my mid adult years, I have selective personalities. Now..heading towards my golden years, I am back to my young day personalities of being quiet and reserve again. I am totally lost of who I belong to,

[Kage]

I am still trying to look for my real personality. When I was young, I was very quiet and reserve. When I reached teenage years, I was very active and fun, When I reached my working years, I have split personalities, When I am reaching my mid adult years, I have selective personalities. Now..heading towards my golden years, I am back to my young day personalities of being quiet and reserve again. I am totally lost of who I belong to,

Aiyo why so ma fan. You are who you are. The amount of excess personality is given off by your original one..if that makes sense @@

[Guest Guest]

when u guys said its a defensive mechanism, does it mean that u behave differently to conform to the group, to not feel out of place and not get outcasted by others?

[crazyfreak]

when u guys said its a defensive mechanism, does it mean that u behave differently to conform to the group, to not feel out of place and not get outcasted by others?

in a way i guess since everyone deep down wants to be part of a community and if we are not we try to do what we can to join in or blend in... or in a sense as predators or prey with our motives we camouflage ourselves into the group that we are in to prevent being attacked or to find a chance to pounce depending on motives...

[Guest Guest]

Identity crisis:

http://psychology.ab...ntitycrisis.htm

http://en.wikipedia....Identity_crisis

[qsefthu78]

the most amusing thing about perceived identities of other guys is that... :

usually i will observe those guys who are very straight acting and manly, minding own business in the gym - the oh so desirable aplha male species. but when i happen to bump into them outside when they are with their fellow gay friends, my impression of them change immediately and they will never look the same to me again in the gym!

[Guest Guest]

the most amusing thing about perceived identities of other guys is that... :

usually i will observe those guys who are very straight acting and manly, minding own business in the gym - the oh so desirable aplha male species. but when i happen to bump into them outside when they are with their fellow gay friends, my impression of them change immediately and they will never look the same to me again in the gym!

so how do they behave outside? so the 'straight acting and manly' is a fake front? is that why they say sg gays are fake and pretentious?

do u guys do tt as well....

[Guest Guest]

the most amusing thing about perceived identities of other guys is that... :

usually i will observe those guys who are very straight acting and manly, minding own business in the gym - the oh so desirable aplha male species. but when i happen to bump into them outside when they are with their fellow gay friends, my impression of them change immediately and they will never look the same to me again in the gym!

i am no alpha male but i behave like that in the gym as well. reasons being i want to focus on my workout, keep to my rest time and not eye-drifting or start cruising. some of my straight friends are like that too. they are very chatty and cheeky but in the gym, they dun talk, mind their own business and focus on their workouts. what i hate are those who scrutinize ur every action!

[Guest region]

Different people - Different treatment

[Guest Guest]

do u feel like u dunno who u are sometimes and can assume all sorts of personalities? some people have distinct personality such as talkative, quiet, serious, proud, humourous, playful, lazy......no matter good or bad...at least they have a personality. for me i can assume any of the personality stated as and when i want and based on different situations and different people i meet.

at night when alone, i feel like a blank piece of paper with no personality of my own at all. anyone like tt as well?

serious discussion only pls

[EasleyLim]

I don't think it's that unusual.

I'm mean, everyone behaves different in front of different audiences. Surely, all of us behave different when we're with our friends as oppose to our parents. But in each of our personas, there is a certain % of our true self. Regardless of what persona I adopt, I still won't eat parsley and I still hate rude people, lol.

But srsly though, I don't believe it's that easy to lose yourself unless some overwhelming force hit you like love or something that messes up your perspective. Scary shit wor, losing yourself.

[lean n mean]

I am not sure if this helps. To me personality is outward behaviour and character is inward. I am chatty when I am with friends but when I am home I am quiet but my character remains the same.

[warlock88]

I am not sure if this helps. To me personality is outward behaviour and character is inward. I am chatty when I am with friends but when I am home I am quiet but my character remains the same.

what he meant ya.

[Slynn]

I am not sure about the TS, but unlike some who behave differently in front of different groups of people, I behave differently in front of the SAME group of people. I shift in between personas too quickly, even friends who are close have to admit that they don't understand me deep enough.

It gets rather scary for them since they do not know when I'm ok with jokes and when I'm dead serious. Because i CAN be nonsensical or be dead serious depending on the issue at hand. (Perhaps it's a gemini thing - dual personality)

But it used to be worse. I always wonder who I really am, and it's not a bad thing to ponder about this actually. Because it's some self-exploring process. (just finding a nice way to justify my daydreams xD)

I would say these are some reasons why I felt like i had no personality back when I was a teenager:

1. I was always giving in to others to please people/avoid conflicts

It's not bad to compromise, but doing so all the time made me lose my individuality. I always ended up doing things that others want to do, but nothing that I myself want to. It ends up as though I'm living under others' shadows. If you really don't like certain things or events, just don't do it/go to the event.

2. I perceived myself the same way that others look at me.

"Oh i think Slynn's a nice guy.' 'YEAH HE'S SO GOOD TEMPERED'. 'He's so -insert adjective-'

And then I thought that's who I really am, and I tried to emulate what others say. With the many personas that I put up, the imitations that I have to do increase day by day. Initially it is really tiring, but after a while it just sorta become second nature, WHICH IS BAD.

I didn't understand myself or question myself to realize I'm not all what others perceive. But you can eventually reveal your 'colors'. It'll be interesting. and a little surprising revelation goes a long way in a friendship.

3. Not displaying certain traits due to low self-esteem.

I'm sure we all have many traits. I suppose I have more bad ones than good ones. I'm absent minded and slow and indecisive etcetc. And of course, i tried to conceal my flaws by exhibiting a different side of me when it comes to work. Such traits are part of our personality, but I tried to suppress it in hope I can be seen as a capable and better group member. But I realized in the end that I will actually have a better time with my weaknesses exposed to my group mates, so we can make up for one another's weakness. There are negative traits to each individuals, but I guess humans are meant to interact in order to make up one another's weaknesses. Just try to think of ways to prevent the negative traits from getting too problematic.

But now I understand myself much more Having a close confidant is important too, sometimes they understand us more than we do.

There are definitely 'masks' that we still have to put on, because that's how the society works. But to know who you truly are, you have to keep asking yourself questions.

Edited January 20, 2013 by Slynn

[Guest Guest]

I am not sure about the TS, but unlike some who behave differently in front of different groups of people, I behave differently in front of the SAME group of people. I shift in between personas too quickly, even friends who are close have to admit that they don't understand me deep enough.

It gets rather scary for them since they do not know when I'm ok with jokes and when I'm dead serious. Because i CAN be nonsensical or be dead serious depending on the issue at hand. (Perhaps it's a gemini thing - dual personality)

But it used to be worse. I always wonder who I really am, and it's not a bad thing to ponder about this actually. Because it's some self-exploring process. (just finding a nice way to justify my daydreams xD)

I would say these are some reasons why I felt like i had no personality back when I was a teenager:

1. I was always giving in to others to please people/avoid conflicts

It's not bad to compromise, but doing so all the time made me lose my individuality. I always ended up doing things that others want to do, but nothing that I myself want to. It ends up as though I'm living under others' shadows. If you really don't like certain things or events, just don't do it/go to the event.

2. I perceived myself the same way that others look at me.

"Oh i think Slynn's a nice guy.' 'YEAH HE'S SO GOOD TEMPERED'. 'He's so -insert adjective-'

And then I thought that's who I really am, and I tried to emulate what others say. With the many personas that I put up, the imitations that I have to do increase day by day. Initially it is really tiring, but after a while it just sorta become second nature, WHICH IS BAD.

I didn't understand myself or question myself to realize I'm not all what others perceive. But you can eventually reveal your 'colors'. It'll be interesting. and a little surprising revelation goes a long way in a friendship.

3. Not displaying certain traits due to low self-esteem.

I'm sure we all have many traits. I suppose I have more bad ones than good ones. I'm absent minded and slow and indecisive etcetc. And of course, i tried to conceal my flaws by exhibiting a different side of me when it comes to work. Such traits are part of our personality, but I tried to suppress it in hope I can be seen as a capable and better group member. But I realized in the end that I will actually have a better time with my weaknesses exposed to my group mates, so we can make up for one another's weakness. There are negative traits to each individuals, but I guess humans are meant to interact in order to make up one another's weaknesses. Just try to think of ways to prevent the negative traits from getting too problematic.

But now I understand myself much more Having a close confidant is important too, sometimes they understand us more than we do.

There are definitely 'masks' that we still have to put on, because that's how the society works. But to know who you truly are, you have to keep asking yourself questions.

wow i can totally relate to this. i am almost also like what u have described. do u realise that when interacting with people, you can read people very fast and assume their personality in no time so as to be able to communicate with them without much problem? we can make friends easily, but it is a problem to have close friends.

also, i have many varied interests. i am capable of doing many things but does not really excel in one. also, my interest in doing something does not last long and am always looking for something 'new'.

it is interesting as to why our behaviours are like that. i am now in my mid 20s and i am still trying to find my own personality. i can foresee that it can become a problem - still unsure of what career path i want to go into (i seem to be able to do almost anything now [or nothing] ) and most importantly, unsure of what kind of guy im interested in .

[Guest Guest]

how to deal with an identity crisis problem? not only do i have many different personalities, i find that my mood can change several times in a day as well. i read that teenagers can face identity crisis as they are exposed to different situations as they grow up (in fact everyone might go thru that) and have to tackle different roles (such as a mentor, a leader, a son, a brother, a bf, a friend, a subordinate etc) but they will eventually find their own identity and personality as they are nearing adulthood. for me, i am already in my mid 20s!

have been told to just move on but i dunno how as im not even sure who i am myself. have also been told to start everything from scratch but from where exactly in my 20s? this issue is causing me to be quite

depressed everyday.

anyone has gone thru something like this in life before?

[Guest FirsTimer]

how to deal with an identity crisis problem? not only do i have many different personalities, i find that my mood can change several times in a day as well. i read that teenagers can face identity crisis as they are exposed to different situations as they grow up (in fact everyone might go thru that) and have to tackle different roles (such as a mentor, a leader, a son, a brother, a bf, a friend, a subordinate etc) but they will eventually find their own identity and personality as they are nearing adulthood. for me, i am already in my mid 20s!

have been told to just move on but i dunno how as im not even sure who i am myself. have also been told to start everything from scratch but from where exactly in my 20s? this issue is causing me to be quite

depressed everyday.

anyone has gone thru something like this in life before?

Hihi =)) I really dont think you are having "different" personalities. You are really who you are 0.0 For example when a gun is pointing at you, you will definitely chicken and wuss out right(?), despite you believing that you are someone who is really strong and confident (but you are confident because there's nothing to make you pee in your pants lol). You are just being you! It's not contradictory at all. You can maintain your poise during easy times, but you wuss out during difficult times. Are you having split personality? Not at all right? You are just being yourself, and that's simply how much you can take =)) Maybe you are exposed to different groups of people, maybe one hour you meet your mum and the other hour you are meeting your dearest friend, and you react in a really different manner to both groups. But that's perfectly normal~ You are more reserved with your parent because you are more respectful of the elders? Perhaps? You can really go crazy and be blabbering non-stop with your dear friend the next hour is simply because there isnt this mental barrier (that you have with your mum or any other elder or stranger) in you anymore right? And this occurrence stem from the fact that you experience no mental distance with your close friend. First case, you dont talk much because there is this mental barrier. Second case, you get out of control because there ISNT any mental distance at all. So are you contradictory as a person? NOOOOO. People really do behave differently to different circumstances and ON SECOND THOUGHT, you really arent being different at all. You are in fact still being you. Seriously dont talk about split personality, that's really a crazy level.It's like having 2 mind inside one body and that's scary. Dont think that far and confuse yourself!! =)) Actually, every other behaviour of yours in another setting/place/group tells you a glimpse about yourself. Why is it that you react differently to this person(?), why is it that you arent comfortable with this person(?) blah blah blah... all allow you to discover more about yourself. DONT EXPECT A SINGLE WORD TO DEFINE YOU. Meaning, I cant just one word to describe any person! I can say "Oh that person is an introvert" and then full stop.. This is never enough~ And furthermore, if I were to use two seemingly contradictory words to describe you, it is perfectly fine too! I can really say that a person is smart and dumb. Im serious. It's not a personality disorder at all. It's just that the person is being smart AT ONE TIME, and being really dumb AT ANOTHER EVENT. If the person is both intelligent and dumb AT THE SAME TIME, then THAT'S THE PROBLEM. You are really really fineeee and you are a normal human who is thinking and doubting!! No worries! =))

And your mood changing several times a day ah.. Is really not for no reasons okay. Not that you are insane or what, it's just that you havent been keeping track of what's making you happy or angry. Everyone seriously can be happy one moment and be crying the other what. I see so much of this on Twitter. Like maybe someone tweeted "Ah~ Im so glad that it's such a refreshing morning~~" and then one hour later he/she tweets again "Bloody hell! The f**king bus driver seriously make me dulan".. You see how emotional state change really easily? It's normal. It's normal IF you dont take control of it. But if you want to take control of your emotions, you really have to know what are causing you to go mad, go happy or go crying. You are not being an alien or something ok, you just have to know what are going on in your life that are triggering those emotions. And the rapid changes, if you dont keep track, will be what you term as "mood swings" which are really rubbish and perhaps even used as excuses by people who dont know themselves well enough =))) I really hope these help!!! =)) Take some time to understand why are you feeling this way, why are you feeling that way blah blah blah and use Twitter to do your introspection! If not you really dont know who you are. Anyway it's not your fault that you are still having this identity "crisis" even in your mid-20s, which is not exactly a crisis after all ~___~ I mean schools dont teach all these right? There's only 1+1=2 and that's about all that you learn. So it's not your fault! Just be confident and love yourself.

(PAISEH, SRY FOR THIS "ESSAY" ON THIS CHAT FORUM. ENJOY YOUR DAY. IF I EVER POST AGAIN, I WILL USE SINGLISH ALL THE WAY)