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I Am.confused.


ntu_bw

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rationally I know that nothing good might come out of a aj relationship (at least for me) because

it seems to me that it's rather hard to maintain given that there's little reason for commitment with one another besides things like sexual pleasures - something which is so short lived.

but then i would still wish to have more aj friends just so I would have people who can accept me for my aj thoughts at times without having to feel guilty. for instance, sometimes when you hang out with the opposite sex and you all get really close and all... it makes you want to pull yourself out and widen the distance with her cos deep down you know that you can be aj/bi afterall and it's going to be unfair to her..... :-/

rants.

anyone in a similar predicament or understand what i am talking about?

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It is your perception issue. Who says the only reason for being in an aj rs is just about sexual pleasure? It's about having love, the feeling that you can not buy or ask for.

To define love:

- someone whom you are physically, emotionally and socially attracted to

- someone who you trust and want to be with

- someone who makes your life more meaningful by bringig you emotional feelings, social activity, who evoke your sense of possession and responsibility

- who makes you feel secure and complete. Believe me, being single sucks. At least for me. I want to live a happy life and it involves a loving partner. I cant imagine myself being single. It is too sad.

For now you may not have the needs to be in love yet. But the more you grow, the more you will understand how meaningful and wonderful it is to be with the one you love.

I think you havent fallen in love yet, so you dont know. Wait a few more years you'll know what i mean. You're still so young, LOL

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Guest Ironrod

We should have a compilation thread titled 'All Your Worldly Problems'.

Blac: perhaps u are closer to TS age maybe you can give him some life lesson.

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TS I believe there are gay men that are in monogamous LTRs - have read so many of such stories here. Do you really think a straight relationship is THAT much easier to navigate? I believe there are alot of gay men out there who are looking for an LTR - but they want to only commit to the *right* one. You can't just sit and wait for the one to drop from heaven... you really have to try dating a few people to see what you like/dislike in a rship and slowly narrow down to finding someone you can settle down with.

As for meeting AJ friends I think there are many avenues. Have also seen some offline forums for gay/bi men to meet to discuss on issues they face. There's even an LGBT church in SG! I'm actually amazed at the amount of LGBTQ support SG has.

Brian Kinney (Queer as Folk) - There's only two kinds of straight people in this world: The ones that hate you to your face... and the ones that hate you behind your back.

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what exactly do u want to achieve from a gay r/s? unless theres strong reasons, or u wont give unconditionally and stay committed to justify the effort

u gotta know what u want, not what we want --- our opinions dont really matter

nothing in life is guaranteed, however we still clinch onto hope

unless u can provide happiness to the ladies, pls made deliberate attempts to avoid frequent, close contact or make things clear. dont be like me, sad mistake.

your door to gay world is already opened, we are your friends and well-acceptance to aj thoughts

mHEBR.gif

high frequency | biologically hazardous | penetrating

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haha. How do define happiness then? I put in my 101% but still I will yearn reciprocacy... The point in life is that when you can go both ways, you seem to be rooted to the ground undecided as to which path to choose.

u define your own set of happiness - be it emotional, sexual, wealth, career, religion, health etc

how to calculate reciprocity, u think business talk in terms of figures and %? haha

personally, love has no equivalent trade, so time to gain some experience

go both ways -- meaning bisexual? rare species.

on the winning side, everyone loves a bi!

ciao for dinner~

high frequency | biologically hazardous | penetrating

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ah alright. but you are wrong. so wrong. no one loves a bi. even a bi himself will hate himself. correction. it's worse. girls hate bi boys hate bi bi hate bi....

throw in the other variables like no sex, no overt gayness, no effems, no chubs, no .... etc. sometimes I yearn for someone who understands how I feel about things... say another bi/aj who can understand me. BUT.

life sucks even through typing it out makes me sound like a mess. oh my.gawd.

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rationally I know that nothing good might come out of a aj relationship (at least for me) because

it seems to me that it's rather hard to maintain given that there's little reason for commitment with one another besides things like sexual pleasures - something which is so short lived.

but then i would still wish to have more aj friends just so I would have people who can accept me for my aj thoughts at times without having to feel guilty. for instance, sometimes when you hang out with the opposite sex and you all get really close and all... it makes you want to pull yourself out and widen the distance with her cos deep down you know that you can be aj/bi afterall and it's going to be unfair to her..... :-/

rants.

anyone in a similar predicament or understand what i am talking about?

Agree!

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ah alright. but you are wrong. so wrong. no one loves a bi. even a bi himself will hate himself. correction. it's worse. girls hate bi boys hate bi bi hate bi....

throw in the other variables like no sex, no overt gayness, no effems, no chubs, no .... etc. sometimes I yearn for someone who understands how I feel about things... say another bi/aj who can understand me. BUT.

life sucks even through typing it out makes me sound like a mess. oh my.gawd.

learn to love yourself first, before loving others ~

high frequency | biologically hazardous | penetrating

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So you want to have more gay friends and you don want a relationship? Then just get to know more people around here.

If you want your straight friends to be more accepting of you if they learn about your sexuality, then there is probably nth much I can offer you because I cannot change your friends if they do not accept gays/bi.

And since you are bisexual, and you really like this girl, then you should consider whether you want to commit to her in a relationship. Tell her the truth if it makes you guilty and see how it goes with her. Maybe she is someone who will still want to get into a relationship with you even though you are a bisexual because she can sense that you like her too.

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Guest shenderz

Deep down, you hope to find someone to be your true love. Sometimes you have to experience a few heartbreaks in order to meet that "right" person.

But if you have already convinced yourself that such a person does not exist, then that person will never appear in your life.

You can rationalize so much, others can give you much advice, but your path is yours to take.

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ntu_bw: I feel you bro! well . . . unless some girl can accept me for who i am, I will never be in a good lasting rs with a girl. Keeping a secret with someone who loves you, is just not fair .. just my thoughts ~ ~

but then, it's just me dreaming .. coz even my friend girls .. dont really accept anyone going both ways or being gay .. so .. sighh

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