Did Your Life Really Change?

[panache]

Hi everyone,

I wanted to hear from those who used to be skinny and then went to the gym and bulked up. Did you find that your life changed significantly after that? For example, more dates/sex/more people want to be your friend. And if that is true, did it make you disillusioned about the gay community because all we look for is just superficial factors?

I ask this because I'm quite skinny myself, not very toned. My friends have always tried to coax me to go to the gym to bulk up, but I always resisted because I didn't want to change myself just so that someone would be interested in me. I wanted someone to like me for the way I was. Am i being too naive, and should i just do what it seems everyone else is doing?

thank you.

[EasleyLim]

There are still people who go to gym mainly for health benefits you know. The endless line of sex, dates and hook-ups are just desirable side effects of being healthy looking.

If you're lazy then just admit you're lazy. There's no shame in being lazy. At least you're honest about it.

[panache]

There are still people who go to gym mainly for health benefits you know. The endless line of sex, dates and hook-ups are just desirable side effects of being healthy looking.

If you're lazy then just admit you're lazy. There's no shame in being lazy. At least you're honest about it.

whether or not i am isn't the issue here.. and i like to keep fit in other ways such as running.

i wish you wouldn't jump to conclusions like that.

it just seems to me that people only go for the gym types that have muscles, and i wanted to know if that was true.

[EasleyLim]

whether or not i am isn't the issue here.. and i like to keep fit in other ways such as running.

i wish you wouldn't jump to conclusions like that.

it just seems to me that people only go for the gym types that have muscles, and i wanted to know if that was true.

Haha, nah. I'm not saying you're lazy though the idea of not going to gym simply because you don't want to conform to society's standard of beauty is kinda silly imo, but that's another topic altogether.

Anyway back to your topic, on the surface it might seem like we're drawn to well-built people but from a biological pov, we're looking at/for people who can help propagate our genes (disregarding the fact that homosexuals can't have offspring the traditional way) because what your brain is inferring from the toned physique is "Hey, s/he has a lithe body! S/he can escape from predators much easier than the average person! Also, since s/he is able to work-out, it probably means his/her genetic material must be free from defects, heh. Awesome! HEY YOU, I WANT YOU TO HAVE MY BABIES!" Thus, more people would want to screw their brains out to get the supposedly 'superior' genetic material.

So on a basic level, we're attracted to healthy-looking people not necessarily ones with muscles. Besides, I'm sure you know that the perception of beauty changes over time. Pale fat people used to be considered attractive in the olden days because that implies they are rich enough to NOT do manual labor under the sun, now it's the reverse. But enough of the impromptu bio lesson, I believe your reasons for not going to gym is more than just reluctance to conform to the society's perception of beauty. People do many things for many different reasons, so unless they say it we will never know for sure. If you really want to go to gym in order to get fitter so you don't have to deal with the slew of diseases related to being unhealthy then by all means do it.

As long as you know you're not doing it in order to get laid more often then you needn't worry about succumbing to skin-deep appreciation of the gay community cause they're probably too busy admiring themselves to care, lol.

Edited August 26, 2012 by EasleyLim

[MeowPrince]

To go to the gym or not, is, ultimately, your choice. That there are a lot of superficial people around is a fact, not just gays. If one wants his/her life to change, then taking responsibility to do so is what will change, not sitting around and chatting/griping/whining about it.

Personally, I do not gym at all. I chose instead to go on my regular outings, on top of the exercise I get in my work. Color me lazy if anything (and I do admit I am LAZY), but I'm content with the way things are for me. Luckily, I've inherited lean genes from both parental lines, so....... heheheh. But before I started on my outings and stuff years back, I was a couch potato, and it took a lot of willpower to break that.

You can choose to run, swim, walk, gym, slouch, sleep, snore. The moment you choose to change your life (and stick to it!), then it'll change. For me, it led to a different perspective in life, and that in itself was change, a constant flux now.

[fenghou]

if you feel good and comfortable in your own skin

then there's no need for you to hit the gym.

the irony of having a good looking physique or face is that you will be faced with a lot of people who are chasing after them solely because of appearance. and after awhile you will get sick of this.

[sum1outhere_03]

60kg is considered skinny?! O_o

[schmuckisms]

A lot of people try to deny it, but most relationships are rather narcissistic in nature.

Choosing someone that adheres to your aesthetic ideals validates your assumed truthfulness of your values in a way.

Also:

I wanted someone to like me for the way I was

Is pretty much wishful thinking. If both sides had the same idea in mind, you might end up with someone's who's probably Mr. Anyhow.

Which might be what you want, but I think not.

Homework reading:

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/if-you-want-to-date-someone-great-be-someone-great/

Instead of whining about how human beings are such "superficial" visual creatures, why not kick some ass on all fronts (looks, personality, penis extension, books read) and be picky later?

Edited August 26, 2012 by schmuckisms

[Wilbur]

Someone told me that finding a boyfriend in the gay circle is almost always like shopping for meat to buy in the market. "Meat-market" they call it. With the $10 you're holding, would you want to get the same quality but thicker and heavier piece of meat from stall A or a smaller piece from stall B?

[Guest stbrianud]

Sup TS,

This gay circle.. is the most superficial circle there is... well.. that's all. you figure it out for yourself... that's why i'm working so hard on my body now..

By 18 you should have a good body already

I'm late.. sad...

[gstc82]

Everyone is superficial. Not only gays. It's natural that people will give 2nd looks to those who are fit n gd looking.

[kee_hsiao]

Everyone is superficial. Not only gays. It's natural that people will give 2nd looks to those who are fit n gd looking.

I so so so agree on this... whether gals, guys, str8 or gay... so long as u look good, people will turn their head give you a 2nd look (at least)...

I workout for the sake of staying healthy and looking good in the stuff I wear. Any other "side effects" from the result of looking good are not part of my plans.

[derryfawne]

I can't answer your question because I've never had a gym body myself, but just my $2 train of thoughts:

Speaking generally, a good body will attract more pair of eyes than an average one. But body is a better gauge of quantity than quality. There'll be more people befriending or trying to get close to you, but will this friendship/relationship go the distance?

A good body is like a well-decorated restaurant with good ambience. It helps to attract the eyes of first-time customers, but it does little to nothing if your character (the main course) is rotten at its core. People will just fly away and never returns again.

And then there's the non-gymbod guys, which is comparable to less well-decorated restaurant that would probably gone unnoticed and ignored by most people. But for people who are willing to give that restaurant a fair chance, they will discover its true value... who knows if the chef has exquisite culinary skills. This restaurant will probably have less patrons, but they are dedicated and loyal customers who will certainly come back again.

Of course, if your main course (i.e. character) is already good, a well-crafted body will definitely enhance the experience.

Will people's life really change if they sport better bodies? I would say YES, but is this change for better or worse? Now that's the question.

[gstc82]

Let just say that good looking people do get divorced. Gd looks can get u hooked up but can it last?

[panache]

Someone told me that finding a boyfriend in the gay circle is almost always like shopping for meat to buy in the market. "Meat-market" they call it. With the $10 you're holding, would you want to get the same quality but thicker and heavier piece of meat from stall A or a smaller piece from stall B?

unfortunately this makes perfect sense.. maybe the smaller piece tastes better? HAHA!

Sup TS,

This gay circle.. is the most superficial circle there is... well.. that's all. you figure it out for yourself... that's why i'm working so hard on my body now..

By 18 you should have a good body already

I'm late.. sad...

haha if you are late i am super duper late to the party at my age..

I can't answer your question because I've never had a gym body myself, but just my $2 train of thoughts:

Speaking generally, a good body will attract more pair of eyes than an average one. But body is a better gauge of quantity than quality. There'll be more people befriending or trying to get close to you, but will this friendship/relationship go the distance?

A good body is like a well-decorated restaurant with good ambience. It helps to attract the eyes of first-time customers, but it does little to nothing if your character (the main course) is rotten at its core. People will just fly away and never returns again.

And then there's the non-gymbod guys, which is comparable to less well-decorated restaurant that would probably gone unnoticed and ignored by most people. But for people who are willing to give that restaurant a fair chance, they will discover its true value... who knows if the chef has exquisite culinary skills. This restaurant will probably have less patrons, but they are dedicated and loyal customers who will certainly come back again.

Of course, if your main course (i.e. character) is already good, a well-crafted body will definitely enhance the experience.

Will people's life really change if they sport better bodies? I would say YES, but is this change for better or worse? Now that's the question.

this is a very good analogy.. trying to perfect my recipe

i get hung up on this issue now and then because i have heard of these pitfalls of hot people having to deal with insincere people, or people with ulterior motives. sometimes it seems like being an average person might be better.. but that comes with its own drawbacks too..

Edited August 29, 2012 by panache

[SeannyShortcake]

Hahaha.

I'm a pretty funny guy.

My body makes my jokes funnier. Nuff said.

[iamziz]

“No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you've come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself.”

― Madonna

For your own good. For your own well-being. For everything that will be good for yourself - not for anyone else. Whatever happens for others or from others a bonus but don't factor that in to any changes you commit.

[Guest Guest]

I think u hv to decide to go gym for urself. I really hate going to the gym but I do it to look good for myself n look good for my bf.

U may be lean n thin now but soon age will catch up with u due to slowing metabolic rate n a tummy will show if you continue to hv the same diet n lifestyle. A tummy looks bad on a lean frame.

There is a logical reason why weight training is important in addition to aerobic exercise. Weight training build muscles which Increase ur basal metabolic rate - burns energy faster even when resting. So its important to do both. Correct me if I'm wrong.

So do it only for urself. Other stuffs (more dates, better sex) may or may not come...

[Guest Guest]

Hahaha.

I'm a pretty funny guy.

My body makes my jokes funnier. Nuff said.

yes. funny delusional idiot. moar.

[greysuperhero]

I can't answer your question because I've never had a gym body myself, but just my $2 train of thoughts:

Speaking generally, a good body will attract more pair of eyes than an average one. But body is a better gauge of quantity than quality. There'll be more people befriending or trying to get close to you, but will this friendship/relationship go the distance?

A good body is like a well-decorated restaurant with good ambience. It helps to attract the eyes of first-time customers, but it does little to nothing if your character (the main course) is rotten at its core. People will just fly away and never returns again.

And then there's the non-gymbod guys, which is comparable to less well-decorated restaurant that would probably gone unnoticed and ignored by most people. But for people who are willing to give that restaurant a fair chance, they will discover its true value... who knows if the chef has exquisite culinary skills. This restaurant will probably have less patrons, but they are dedicated and loyal customers who will certainly come back again.

Of course, if your main course (i.e. character) is already good, a well-crafted body will definitely enhance the experience.

Will people's life really change if they sport better bodies? I would say YES, but is this change for better or worse? Now that's the question.

This is a very good analogy!

[gammaray]

I've witnessed skinny guys transforming into fit zai and I reckon its a positive change. That's me, not everyone.

We gotta make lil sacrifices for people we love and care for - dates/sex/friends. That's what makes life interesting as we don't live purely for ourselves, alone. Scientifically, men tend be more visual, if that answers your superficial qn. Real friends don't really mind how you look like, your weight, height or color. Occasionally, I might remind my obese close friends to watch their diet for health reasons.

If you don't feel like making any changes to yourself, then don't. You are entitled to your own thoughts to stay the way you are now, there's always a market for chub, bear, twink, skinny, fit, muscular type. My guess is most people prefer someone who's within a healthy weight range though I know people who fancy the extremes. Everyone is unique in a way.

Naive or not, we aren't your bfs lol. End of the day, our opinions don't really matter.

Mmm do i sound long-winded haha... kthxbye.

[SeannyShortcake]

yes. funny delusional idiot. moar.

Sup hater.

Hate with delicious body pic puhlease.

So I can at least sigh in defeat. Hee hee.

[sgboxers]

To stick with the topic, well... Whether or not you get more attention with a fitter body as oppose to the skinnier frame.

I would have to agree that it did. I used to be thinner and now I'm what you see in my DP. And honestly, yes, I do get more attention.

Whether I feel that our community is superficial?

I do.

Whether or not to change myself due to the pressure of our superficial community?

Personally, its all up to you. There is a market for every type of guy here.

Is this superficial only for our community?

No. Majority of society is mad about looking good, beauty or handsome. Ours is not excused.

[panache]

To stick with the topic, well... Whether or not you get more attention with a fitter body as oppose to the skinnier frame.

I would have to agree that it did. I used to be thinner and now I'm what you see in my DP. And honestly, yes, I do get more attention.

Whether I feel that our community is superficial?

I do.

Whether or not to change myself due to the pressure of our superficial community?

Personally, its all up to you. There is a market for every type of guy here.

Is this superficial only for our community?

No. Majority of society is mad about looking good, beauty or handsome. Ours is not excused.

haha thanks for sticking to topic.. yup just really wanted an honest answer from people about the first question.. and just wonder what it says about us that we prefer muscles to the lack of them.

is there a way to make a poll btw? maybe that'll make it easier to get responses

[Guest Pisces guy]

Typical idealistic rambling from a pisces guy

[panache]

Typical idealistic rambling from a pisces guy

got a problem with that?

[kyle24]

As long as u had great personality n kind heart no matter u look good or fit u will found who really love u. If u got hot body n nice looking but ur worse inside ur relationship wont work. But i prefer to fit n keep good health with great personality

[Guest Guest]

when you have a transformation it will definitely change your life in many aspects. i was abit fat and rather unfit last time and decided to workout and exercise more. primary reason was to be physically fitter (for strength ippt sports etc) and secondly to look better. i was serious in working out and got even more motivated when results were showing. fats were gone and i put on nice muscles. i got attention from a few guys even when i was unfit but after working out, i got a whole lot more attention and advances. did i enjoy it? you bet. after all, i thought i had put in effort and hard work and these are my 'rewards'. i myself am naturally attracted to physically attractive guys so i didnt fuss so much over the superficiality issue. however that does not mean that you should lose your believes and values. other than that, it gives me more confidence and a whole lot more benefits. ippt became a breeze and i picked up new sports. surprisingly i also feel less restless throughout the day. all in all i see it as a breakthrough and a great help to myself. there are definitely more benefits than losses. as for the superficial parts, at the end of the day, its up to you to manage but you should learn to enjoy them rather than fuss over them.