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Breakup Sex

derryfawne

By derryfawne
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derryfawne Explorer

derryfawne

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We've all heard about makeup sex, but has anyone ever had breakup sex? How does it feel like?

If you've never had one, would you even consider having one last go at it?

Share your stories....

Personally, I've never had one. But it does sound sad yet intimate, crushed yet beautiful. I came across one blog with an entry that paints breakup sex so vividly (PS. It's written by a female. But the writings work just as well for gays) and I thought it's a nice work worth sharing:

Good but sad.

I lay next to him and we were holding hands, sticky with our sweat and juices and I could hear his heart pounding in his wrist.

"Why didn't we have sex like that when we were together?" he asked, and I turned away because I was afraid that I might cry. I held my breath till the wave passed and I was dry-eyed and tired and sad but I would always remember the break-up sex I had with him.

Not a word was spoken. I was there when he opened the door and we kissed, a desperate kiss, something long and taken in stages like a degustation. A gentle kiss with the door wide open behind us, a pause to close it, an ever desperate descent into the kind of passion that we never managed when we were together.

There was this sinking sensation which was just our love for each other surfacing briefly, bobbing up and falling away again, the corpse of it, plummeting.

There was nothing new revealed in our sudden nakedness. There was his skin and mine. An abundance and a poverty. So many contradictions. I loved him like family. I knew him like my own self. I would never make love to him again. Just this once more. A full stop.

We used out teeth gently although we wanted to bite down on each other's skin, to ingest a piece of our history so that we would never forget.

We would never forget.

I would never forget the time he made a flower for me out of paper, crafted by his own restless fingers. I would never forget his timidness and his care. He gentled the bars of my cage with his concern, thick and soft as cotton wool, and when I flung myself against his boundaries, wild animal, longing for some other kind of life, I knew that I was safe in his clutches. Bored, panicked, crazed, limited and safe.

The sex we had that night was not the comforting kind that we had grown used to. We stole pieces off each other, samples of skin secreted away under our fingernails, the taste of sweat, the bitter burn of his semen that I would taste at the back of my throat for days. He pressed his thumb into my skin so fiercely that I felt the flesh give and his fingerprint is still on me, a lasting scar.

We didn't speak of the bad times but they were there too in the way we tugged at each other's hair and in the tears that inched their way out of our eyes and into each other's mouths.

We lay then in the ruin of our relationship and the glory of our sex, all contradictions, loving each other and hating that there was nothing left to do but part.

"Why didn't we have sex like that when we were still together?"

"Because we were still together."

I unknit my fingers from his large safe hand. And on that note. We parted.

Edited by derryfawne

“Do not take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive.” — Elbert Hubbard

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IkuTube Mentor

IkuTube

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Thanks for sharing.

It makes me to wonder what shall be the next step forward in the lives of these individuals? How long, and what kind of strength, for each one of them to take to move on?

Though such 'breakup sex' can be therapeutic - hopefully, healing at the same time, does it not reveal the true state of consciousness about the relationship. Does it not warrant a second chance? It is, indeed, sad to part with "pieces of each other" still so much intact and desired in their souls.

I can only think that a 'breakup sex' is about letting go while two individuals are still in love with each other. It is, probably, about respecting each other for the sake of giving up on obsession. The sad reality is, sometimes love just ain't enough and to part makes sense.

Click Here To Visit My Blog @ "The Blessed Life"

*Let me live my life to be an instrument of 'Love', in how I speak and in how I see others*

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MinWoo Newbie

MinWoo

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Ever had an experience like this once..it was really hurtful..

i did it with my my ex for the last time..we never had sex during our relationship and broked off cause he thought i didn't love him when i didn't gave him any..

so i proved it to him that i loved him and did it with him for the last time before we broke up..i'm not an anal person and i let him do it to me anyway despite the pain..

after the session i nv replied to his messages and phone calls again.

Too fast to live, too young to die.

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derryfawne Explorer

derryfawne

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Ever had an experience like this once..it was really hurtful..

i did it with my my ex for the last time..we never had sex during our relationship and broked off cause he thought i didn't love him when i didn't gave him any..

so i proved it to him that i loved him and did it with him for the last time before we broke up..i'm not an anal person and i let him do it to me anyway despite the pain..

after the session i nv replied to his messages and phone calls again.

Thanks for sharing.

I guess it must have been tough for you.

“Do not take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive.” — Elbert Hubbard

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firereaver Rookie

firereaver

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I think it depends on how the breakup is done.

If for example, you are breaking up because your partner cheated on you or you don't like him anymore along those lines, then you would most probably not be having any breakup sex at all, for obvious reasons.

If you're breaking up but the case of "I still love him deep in my heart", then maybe that would be more possible.

Overall, I think breakup sex can only be achieved if you're in the second category above.

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Guest Blaidd_drwg

Guest Blaidd_drwg

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Breakup sex? That's just silly.

It's over. Why still cling? If there was to be any clinging, it should take the form of reconciliation to continue the relationship and not an emotional power play of sex. That's just unhealthy.

Just because it can be done, doesnt mean it should be done.

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Guest elgar90

Guest elgar90

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.....I wouldn't have sex with someone I would be breaking up with because sex within a relationship always beats sex before a relationship/when a relationship ends.

If you guys were still in love,no reason not to make sex pleasurable no?

These coming from your mouth?!?!? wow.... words escape my mouth!!!!!!!!!!!!

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derryfawne Explorer

derryfawne

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Breakup sex? That's just silly.

It's over. Why still cling? If there was to be any clinging, it should take the form of reconciliation to continue the relationship and not an emotional power play of sex. That's just unhealthy.

Just because it can be done, doesnt mean it should be done.

I think breakup sex is completely removed from logic.

It's pure emotion. Both parties are calling it over, but deep down inside they still harbor affectionate feelings. And what makes it all sad is that the parting is definite, and it's their last time together. They know that they probably shouldn't be doing it and would wake up the next morning feeling stupid, but they wanted it anyway, they loved and wanted each other and it shows, their love shows even at the very last minute.

“Do not take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive.” — Elbert Hubbard

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Behrhunter Enthusiast

Behrhunter

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A lot of you are right .. the thought of breakup sex doesn't really sound right at all but all that matters is that it does happen. And as one poster said, it depends on how the breakup ended up. And I would probably agree.

It was during my second relationship, I knew that my then bf was having sexual encounters outside of my relationship but I closed one eye. I caught him red handed once and asked for a break up. He asked to get back together and promised that it will not happen again [i did give him the option of open relationship but he refused] .But about 6 months later, I caught him again and I have decided to call it quits.

When he has finally 'accepted' that I was really not gonna change my mind anymore. He had asked for one last session. I denied for very long but finally gave in. My encounter was exactly the opposite of what was shared by TS. I was probably just going through the motion, I think he would have gotten better satisfaction if he had just used a dildo. So much so that even then after the whole session, my ex said ... "it feels so different from what you used to do to me, you really don't have feelings for me any more."

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bigis4me Newbie

bigis4me

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Remembering once i knew a american guy long time ago. We knew each other for less then 6months. Things were up and down but sex were great and we both seem

to love it but one day after sleeping over at his place and having great sex together we talk and then he says after dinner we wont be seeing each other again. I was not sure what he meant and ask him to explain and he says we are breaking up. I didnt know what to do or say but felt cheated that he wanted to have sex with me and them dump me. I was pissed and sad and confused that a person can love the sex we had but not the person anymore. I guest what we had was more of sex then love and in a relationship should be love first.

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Silveriot Newbie

Silveriot

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what about those kind of breakup like one guy has to migrate for good and they will never meet again and agree that breaking up is for the good of both of them?

those kind of break up sex would still be valid i guess. not like they still hate each other but just due to circumstances cant see each other again lor.

prolly they will savour each other's bodies slowly and bring back with them a piece of memory they wont be able to relive in a long time.

i guess. said with no prior experience with breaking up and watching too much dramas.

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spiffy729 Newbie

spiffy729

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Oh this reminds me.

Tell me you love me, even if you don’t. Chances are you don’t. This is why it’s the last time. Because you don’t love me anymore and can’t bear to pretend otherwise. That’s okay. That’s fine. Whatever. Just get to work.

The last few times we had sex were terrible. I knew you were falling out of love with me with every single thrust, so I’m owed this. I’m owed one last amazing f–k. I deserve it. I deserve to be lied to. Give it to me.

Don’t play music. That’s too cheap. That’s an easy way out and this isn’t supposed to easy. This will be the hardest sex you’ve ever had. I want to hear every moan, every groan, every labored exhale. I want to hear the unflattering “smack, smack” sound of your body going into mine, the sound we all abhor during sex and pretend not to hear.

Silence.

This is your parting gift to me. If you’re going to leave me, you have to f–k me one last time. I didn’t make the rules. That’s just the way it works. Let me have your body one more time before it gets taken away from me forever. It’s only fair. It’s only right.

Hold me tight. No, tighter. I want to be squeezed to the point where my bones are practically crushed. You’re not doing it tight enough. Once more, with feeling. And don’t you dare let go until I say so.

After this, you’ll be gone and I won’t know when I’m having sex next. It could be months. It could be years. So please perform to the best of your ability. I’ve had guaranteed sex for so long now. I don’t know how I’ll ever live without it. (Also, I can’t believe you’re taking sex away from me. That’s like the rudest thing anyone could ever do to me. You’re a bad man.)

When the sex starts to get really intense, hold my hand and don’t freak out when you see my eyes start to well up with tears. I’m not actually going to cry, you idiot. And even if I did, you can’t say anything because we’ve been together long enough for that stuff not to matter. (Theoretically.)

I just, I still love you and when you’re inside me, I love you even more. It, of course, makes me feel weak and pathetic but at a certain point, I don’t even care. I’m just interested in squeezing you for every last drop. If you think you have any ounce of love left for me, give it to me now. I’ll take it.

Kiss my neck. Nibble my ears. Treat my dick like it’s the best thing you’ve ever seen. I want to just lay there for a bit. I want to be a lazy lover and you can’t say crap about it.

When you cum, don’t leave. So many people leave after they cum, I don’t even know why they even bother calling it “cumming” in the first place. It’s inaccurate. They should rename it “leaving in a sec.”

Stay with me. Make me feel warm. Still kiss me. Still rub up against me. Don’t say anything though. Don’t ruin it with your words. Just convey how much you respect and care about me with your body. Then, when I’m lulled to sleep, leave. Leave and don’t come back. Don’t answer my calls or texts. Just let me get rid of you completely. Do me that one favor. (Well, on top of this one.)

The last time we have sex will be the thing that sticks out most in my mind. You’re leaving your mark on me and you’re giving me something to hold on to you when the nights are grey and I feel the void next to my body.

You’re giving me something I wish I could forget.

Source: http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/how-to-have-sex-with-me-for-the-last-time/

"One of the best things about a forum is that it's a place where you can find the most random and outrageous quotes on the internet." - Ghandi

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Guest Thelasttime

Guest Thelasttime

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I totally understand how that feels.

"It must have been at least a month since I last stepped into his room.

The last night, I had purposely drank a bit ore than usual to gather courage and guts.

The last night, I was prepared to part from him and never return.

The last night emotions were running so high on my side, but I guessed he kinda guessed and expected it too.

We made love. Sweet, slow and hot love. And that lasted till daylight. When he looked me in the eyes in the morning with the light shining on his face, I couldn't bear to admit that tears were streaming down both sides. He too, had reddened eyes that were avoiding me. He thought the morning FM would have interrupted this moment we so wanted to escape from. Who knew, that blasted radio had to kick us further in the balls by playing sad, emotion-filled song after song.

We departed after cleaning up. I lingered longer then before at his gate before I left. I knew, this might probably be the last time I should feel like that for him.

I have since never returned to his room. Friends we now are, but it leaves me wondering how it might have turned out in a parallel universe."

Readers, there might be many reasons for a breakup. Some of which we are not in a position to even comment about. Don't assume, speculate, condemn and judge so fast.

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MinWoo Newbie

MinWoo

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Thanks for sharing.

I guess it must have been tough for you.

yea..it sure was tough..

A part of me why i want to do it is because i loved him..another part is to remind myself that he only loves me for sex..and the only way is to have sex with him to convince myself that he doesn't love me if there's no sex.

i know it sound stupid..but love can make people do stupid things i guess.

i was naive back then.

Too fast to live, too young to die.

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oralb Apprentice

oralb

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微笑看著你離開，不難。

假裝不生氣，不難。

繼續當朋友，不難。

一個人生活，不難。

好好說再見，不難。

忘記你，真的，一點都不難...我一定可以學會...

:thumb: When I Think It, I Do It, I Win It! :thumb:

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TheVisitors Newbie

TheVisitors

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I even suspect the blog was written from the blogger's fantasy point of view and not the whole truth because that experience did not include the departing lover's prospect of the story

I would read while eating my chips with a pinch of salt or when I have nothing else better to read just to pass my time

True real life breakup sex doesnt involve so much of romantized fantasy as provided in the blog for it works on a deeper but more painful emotional attachment, coming from one side who refuses to acknowledge the whole relationship is over

The one who cannot let go , who cannot accept the reality that the affair really over, often requests a tangible evidence, such as in this case , a breakup sex to prove that there is still love and thus a possibility for a reconciliation

But the result is often very disappointing , when natural and initiative response from the departing love is almost unemotional and very mechanical

From the mindset of the one who wants to leave is

" ok I ( very reluctantly ) concede your request, just to fulfill your last request and to demonstrate I no longer love you, so after that please don't bug me anymore "

Even there is guilt from the lover leaving, the guilt is not love, which cannot be thought as love from the more emotional one, which is not a good reason for the lover to even want to stay on

It doesn't work that way

Romantized breakup sex are only found in your unrealistic Korean dramas with the intent to sensationalize a simple story , so as to fish more viewership

The one who wants to leave, usually will not concede to such last request as not to further complicate things. Unless he has a very weak and indecisive nature, or he may want you around for some kind of manipulation

As you heard before the Chinese saying " Good horse dont eat behind grass "

You heard wedding dinners. Whoever heard of breakup/divorce diiners ?

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Sticky&Sweet Contributor

Sticky&Sweet

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Break up sex? If I have to break up with someone (and I've done that twice), I would've been extremely disappointed / angry / hurt / negative towards a person to break up with him. And I only have sex when i'm feeling happy. happy = horny. Negative feelings = ass not itchy / cock cannot erect. So ... no. Break up sex is impossible for me... :P

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thaiboyz Newbie

thaiboyz

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I can't! Honestly I really cannot visualize to hv sex with any of my ex lovers. Hmm hot wild sex only happened between strangers or for honeymoon couples.

Perhaps we have known each other too well, from courtship to love and then to friendship, we are done and over as long as relationship is concerned. To have sex again with them is equivalent to do it with my close friends, very awkward and err dun think I can even get aroused :)

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