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Why Do We Have Sex? Why Do We Judge Another Person Who Has Sex?


sexiespider

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We have sex for many reasons, and as I’ve described, many times, it’s because of an inner emotional need that we want to fulfil.

Yet, because society says it’s wrong to have sex and if you have sex, it means you are a horny person without

thoughts and you should be judged, labelled and shame for doing so. And because of this, we forget that the real reason why we have sex, and we assume the judgement of society and shame ourselves.

Then we go into this downward spiral – why is everyone I meet just having sex? It’s wrong to just have sex (because society says so) , why don’t they see that? Yet, we continue having sex – because the real reason we do is because we have an inner emotional need. So, we are trapped within an inner need to feel loved and thus we have sex, and the social judgment that we assume onto ourselves. But, society’s judgment wins out and we forgot to think about our own inner need.

And we start judging one another – so and so just has sex. He’s disgusting. We’ve learnt to judge others based on societal beliefs and continue to have sex based on our individual inner needs, then judge ourselves with societal beliefs. Can you see where this is going now?

And when we go to a club, we gossip about this person who just has sex and how he’s so promiscuous, because we enact social judgment onto him. Yet, we have sex ourselves but we won’t enact the same judgment on ourselves – because it is us we are talking about.

At some point, we decide that love isn’t possible in the gay community since everyone is just having sex. We don’t realise that we when we have sex, we are trying to fulfil an inner desire. And when this doesn’t get fulfilled, we keep looking for it – a fulfilment of our inner desire. Yet, to do so, we have sex with more people. At some point, we become blind to the fact that we have this inner desire that we are using sex to fulfil, and we think that all we are looking for is sex – when what we are really looking for is a fulfilment of our inner desires.

http://myrighttolove.com/2012/11/02/sex-cos-you-are-horny-or-fulfilling-an-inner-need/

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We all like to have sex, no one ever denies they hate sex

Sure, I love sex, I like to have sex.

I like to do it, I am very sure many like to do it.

I don't even have time to judge anyone when I have sex

Do you have a problem with that ?

Edited by TheVisitors
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Just to put things into perspective - I do have sex too, to clarify.

I think the issue I hope to bring out for discussion is this - in the event that we have sex to address an underlying emotional issue, are we be able to be aware to see that - this is the question.

Undoubtedly, some of us have sex because of the physical gratification that we want - if we are aware of that, and are aware that it isn't to address an underlying emotional need, then by all means.

The question is what if it's an emotional need, and the wider implications of how it affects our judgment on ourselves and on others, and on the wider gay community at large, whether consciously, or subconsciously, and how this has wider implications on the evolution of the gay community as a whole.

Roy

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Just to put things into perspective - I do have sex too, to clarify.

I think the issue I hope to bring out for discussion is this - in the event that we have sex to address an underlying emotional issue, are we be able to be aware to see that - this is the question.

Undoubtedly, some of us have sex because of the physical gratification that we want - if we are aware of that, and are aware that it isn't to address an underlying emotional need, then by all means.

The question is what if it's an emotional need, and the wider implications of how it affects our judgment on ourselves and on others, and on the wider gay community at large, whether consciously, or subconsciously, and how this has wider implications on the evolution of the gay community as a whole.

Roy

Even thought of enrolling yourself into a Convent?

In that way when you are away from the judgemental world, you are totally free from all wordly judgements

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I guess this issue is dependent on how strong one's principles of against having sex is, and in this case, I am discussing about casual sex. If one thinks that casual sex is wrong because others say it is wrong or disgusting, then I guess that is not the way to discriminate against having casual sex as there is no base to one's judgement. This is what we call monkey see monkey do as they are afraid of offending people. And I think this group of people is more likely to engage in casual sex and practise double-standard as what TS has stated.

Indeed, sex is a tool for pleasure, a medium for affection and love, as well as a method to de-stress, why is the society labeling people who are having casual sex disgusting? Also casual sex is between two consenting adults, which is another strong argument to which casual sex is not wrong. However there exists strong arguments against casual sex as well, for example, the increase risk of contacting STDs and the sustainability of such relationship. Thus ultimately, it boils down on how strong one's view for/against casual sex is. And usually this group of people who have strong principles against engaging in casual sex will most likely have alternatives to it, thus they will try to avoid practising double-standard. That being said, there will always be some minorities who is likely to do otherwise, and the reasons given can range from impulsive action or giving in to temptation. Whatever may be the reasons, it just shows that their principles against is not strong enough.

FYI: I am not saying that casual sex is wrong, I am arguing that those who practise double-standard is wrong.

All that being said is my mediocre opinion about casual sex, and of course, the circumstances and arguments will be different for all other types of sex including, and not restricted to, having sex with one's partner, having friends with benefits, blah blah blah.

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