How To Keep A Conversation Going With Your Date/bf Over Text ?

[Guest Derek]

Would really appreciate some help here though.

Confession : 1st time dating a guy 

And i really want to know how to keep a conversation going on with my date and not letting him feel annoyed at the same time ?

I ran out of question to talk to ...

Sometimes i would just stare at my phone and not knowing what to text :/

[Crumpler]

Would really appreciate some help here though.

Confession : 1st time dating a guy 

And i really want to know how to keep a conversation going on with my date and not letting him feel annoyed at the same time ?

I ran out of question to talk to ...

Sometimes i would just stare at my phone and not knowing what to text :/

 

Probably, there is no chemistry between you and your new date?  Forgo it or rather Move on and find a new guy? haha

Edited April 29, 2013 by Crumpler

[Seedrick]

Common interests / topics? 

[Crumpler]

Common interests / topics? 

  Sooner or later u will feel bored and nothing to talk about haha....I think is kinda stupiak to find things to talk...

[revenkit]

Having the same problems too. If it's like me just asking questions and he just blandly answering my questions, would it looks like he is not interested in knowing me since he didn't ask me back any questions. If i stop asking questions, the conversation just ended (for texting) or awkward silence if meeting up... Is it guys generally like that or what?? 

[Just J]

Having the same problems too. If it's like me just asking questions and he just blandly answering my questions, would it looks like he is not interested in knowing me since he didn't ask me back any questions. If i stop asking questions, the conversation just ended (for texting) or awkward silence if meeting up... Is it guys generally like that or what?? 

Hmmm well sometimes u have to prompt them to ask you questions? Like ask them if they have anything in particular that they want to know about u?

 

For me I would be more proactive if I'm the one who started the convo n be more passive when ppl initiate a convo with me lol... I mean the one who starts the convo is the one who are interested in knowing the other guy while the one who received the msg may nt be interested in the convo starter... So its quite common for the convo starter to lead the convo n get the other guy to be interested in him?

 

As for meeting up, maybe you can try doing activities like cycling, bowling etc de so even if u dh any topics to talk about it wont seems that awkward? Or u can bring him for movie so u guys can talk about the movie after u guys watched it?

[Guest Derek]

Well.. We met up before but here's the thing.

 

1) before meeting up a lot of things to talk about

2) After meeting not really much things to talk about.

 

U see....

 

Basically in my brain i could'nt think of anything to talk about at all.

but with other guys i can keep the conversation gg very well :/

[Guest Derek]

Probably, there is no chemistry between you and your new date?  Forgo it or rather Move on and find a new guy? haha

Ahhhh.. Although i don't really want to hear that but i hope that there's something to fix the chemistry ? 

[Guest Raiden Alpha]

Would really appreciate some help here though.

Confession : 1st time dating a guy

And i really want to know how to keep a conversation going on with my date and not letting him feel annoyed at the same time ?

I ran out of question to talk to ...

Sometimes i would just stare at my phone and not knowing what to text :/

Consider learning from blowing wind flaming room, some of them manage to engage in textings for months even years. Haha I'm just joking dont take offence.lol:D

[Crumpler]

Well.. We met up before but here's the thing.

 

1) before meeting up a lot of things to talk about

2) After meeting not really much things to talk about.

 

U see....

 

Basically in my brain i could'nt think of anything to talk about at all.

but with other guys i can keep the conversation gg very well :/

 

 

It's a norm! Usually after meet up the flame dies off lol...................

[Bumfuzzled]

I try to pick up a book on something related my date/bf is studying/working as.
So at least when you have a conversation, you can ask and start topics based on what you have read etc etc.

 

[Guest Daniel]

Consider learning from blowing wind flaming room, some of them manage to engage in textings for months even years. Haha I'm just joking dont take offence.lol:D

What?...... Seriously ? months and even years ? how come leh

[Guest Derek]

I try to pick up a book on something related my date/bf is studying/working as.

So at least when you have a conversation, you can ask and start topics based on what you have read etc etc.

 

tmr he gg holiday so can i talk to him about holiday stuff ? do you think it will helps or not ? :/

[Guest Derek]

It's a norm! Usually after meet up the flame dies off lol...................

Ah ? How come the flames dies off after meets ? :/

[Guest Derek]

Oh ya . Forgot to mention that we have more things to talk when we meet up . 

Is norm ? 

[loveoldman]

me and my bf can talk and talk, well we talk mostly on current issues, as we are both older and matured, and we do talk about our previous flings, well for younger guys, u might wanna talk about movies, soccer or something that both of u have interests in, which keep me talking with my straight best friend (he is still my best friend to date) when we were younger

[Bumfuzzled]

tmr he gg holiday so can i talk to him about holiday stuff ? do you think it will helps or not ? :/

I guess so.

If he is going Japan, maybe you can talk about ramen, anime, Mt Fuji etc..

Google for the specialty of his destination?

Normally, if he is interested in you too, he will try to impress you. Try to give him opportunities to impress you?

 

[Crumpler]

Ah ? How come the flames dies off after meets ? :/

 

 

Coz before meet up he's curious about u ma...After meet up he know a lot of things about u le then sian liao? haha

[Guest Derek]

me and my bf can talk and talk, well we talk mostly on current issues, as we are both older and matured, and we do talk about our previous flings, well for younger guys, u might wanna talk about movies, soccer or something that both of u have interests in, which keep me talking with my straight best friend (he is still my best friend to date) when we were younger

Well.. We did talk about movies but i don't think that we got anything to talk about movies 

[Guest Derek]

I guess so.

If he is going Japan, maybe you can talk about ramen, anime, Mt Fuji etc..

Google for the specialty of his destination?

Normally, if he is interested in you too, he will try to impress you. Try to give him opportunities to impress you?

 

Ok great.. Maybe will talk about the speciality of his destinations ~~ 

[Gray]

If he is interested in you, he will want to know more about you too? I dunno, but I don't think it's supposed to be a one sided initiative.

 

I dunno if it's accurate or not but my personal approach to this situation is:

 

1) You shouldn't be making the move to talk to him all the time. Wait for him to talk to you sometimes. If he doesn't make the initiative to talk to you then he does not care. Accept it and move on.

 

2) You don't have to talk to each other everyday. We all need our space.

 

3) Don't act too enthusiastic. Men want what they can't have. If you act like you care about it more than he does, then he probably isn't going to cherish it. At best la, I think there should be equal contribution of attention to each other from both parties. Otherwise keep him wanting, because he is not going to be interested in you for long if there is no challenge in knowing more about you and getting you.

 

If I did all 3 of the above and he still doesn't care, then he is not interested, period. Sometimes need to be able to take things in your stride. Just find another guy.

[wolfyboy]

Hmmm well sometimes u have to prompt them to ask you questions? Like ask them if they have anything in particular that they want to know about u?

 

For me I would be more proactive if I'm the one who started the convo n be more passive when ppl initiate a convo with me lol... I mean the one who starts the convo is the one who are interested in knowing the other guy while the one who received the msg may nt be interested in the convo starter... So its quite common for the convo starter to lead the convo n get the other guy to be interested in him?

 

As for meeting up, maybe you can try doing activities like cycling, bowling etc de so even if u dh any topics to talk about it wont seems that awkward? Or u can bring him for movie so u guys can talk about the movie after u guys watched it?

 

hor hor! caught u red handed for using what i did to u...Like ask them if they have anything in particular that they want to know about u?

also now i know where to meet up liao doing activities like cycling, bowling etc de so even if u dh any topics to talk about it wont seems that awkward? Or u can bring him for movie so u guys can talk about the movie after u guys watched it?

[Guest Derek]

Hi gray. Is there any better way? Like can I approach him and find a way to talk to him about this?

[Gray]

Hi gray. Is there any better way? Like can I approach him and find a way to talk to him about this?

 

Not sure man, cos I'm not sure exactly what is your situation like and what kind of guy is the other party. But my general approach is like this.

 

Since you say you guys talk better when you meet up, then meet up more often lo.

[Guest Raiden Alpha]

What?...... Seriously ? months and even years ? how come leh

Don't ask me, ask those guests and certain members. You can check it out yourself over there if you have time to waste. Highly not recommend.

Anyway this divert from the thread topic I shouldn't hijack it. My apology to thread starter.

Edited April 29, 2013 by Raiden Alpha

[Guest Derek]

Not sure man, cos I'm not sure exactly what is your situation like and what kind of guy is the other party. But my general approach is like this.

 

Since you say you guys talk better when you meet up, then meet up more often lo.

meet up often ? He don't like it.. He like to have his own personal space sometimes ~

[smokey]

Having the same problems too. If it's like me just asking questions and he just blandly answering my questions, would it looks like he is not interested in knowing me since he didn't ask me back any questions. If i stop asking questions, the conversation just ended (for texting) or awkward silence if meeting up... Is it guys generally like that or what??

I feel you bro ... happened to me on my first ... or is it really even a date ?! Omg .....

[Guest Derek]

Having the same problems too. If it's like me just asking questions and he just blandly answering my questions, would it looks like he is not interested in knowing me since he didn't ask me back any questions. If i stop asking questions, the conversation just ended (for texting) or awkward silence if meeting up... Is it guys generally like that or what?? 

Regards to this... Is there even anything that can solve this ? 

Like wtf ... You talk to the guy and the guy just blandly reply you ?

[darkiedark]

Just share whatever is happening in your life lor. Like if you find anything interesting then snap a picture and whatsapp him. Then can talk about it awhile. 

[Guest Stephen_K]

meet up often ? He don't like it.. He like to have his own personal space sometimes ~

I totally agree with Gray and I do have a gut feeling that he may not be as serious as you in this relationship. You should back off a little and distract yourself with other stuffs like befriending other Ajs? It may be true that both of you lack the chemistry that was mentioned earlier. It is hard to accept it but such chemistry is very difficult to be "fixed".

[fenghou]

Actually this topic will lead to this question:

Are you someone who believe in "the one" or are you someone who believe in "making things work".

I've been a firm believer in "the one" and actively cut off contacts with people I believe I have no chemistry with
but that lead me nowhere hence I am trying to "make things work" now.

Am also texting a particular guy I am with.
I don't know why the usually hot tempered, straightforward and rash Taurus me suddenly became passive and complying around this person.
​I actually for once endured someone's tantrum and not become angry even though it wasn't my fault.

 I'm not sure if I'm settling and letting someone lead me on, or am doing all of these out of perhaps infatuation??

But for your case TS, you mentioned that the text died down after meeting up with him personally.
To me your situation and question about texting might stems into a rather uncomfortable finding - he is not into (appearance wise) 

Anyway, everyone is interested in a bit of gossip every now and then. So if you've tried talking about common interest, current affairs, holidays and blah blah blah, perhaps your last resort is some small mindless and harmless gossiping?? Gossiping is by no means a healthy or good thing, but a little once in awhile will provide a temporary boost. 

Edited April 29, 2013 by fenghou

[Guest Derek]

Hais. How to ask him if he's serious about us ? I fear that if i ask the wrong way he got offended and things turn worse zzz

[Guest Derek]

Actually this topic will lead to this question:

Are you someone who believe in "the one" or are you someone who believe in "making things work".

I've been a firm believer in "the one" and actively cut off contacts with people I believe I have no chemistry in

but that lead me nowhere hence I am trying to "make things work" now.

Am also texting a particular guy I am with.

I don't know why the usually hot tempered, straightforward and rash Taurus me suddenly became passive and complying around this person.

​I actually for once endured someone's tantrum and not become angry even though it wasn't my fault.

 I'm not sure if I'm settling and letting someone lead me on, or am doing all of these out of perhaps infatuation??

But for your case TS, you mentioned that the text died down after meeting up with him personally.

To me your situation and question about texting might stems into a rather uncomfortable finding - he is not into (appearance wise) 

 

What do you mean by "  he is not into (appearance wise)  " 

[dreamyboi]

I think it takes two hands to clap.. For a conversation to work, you need both parties to be interested or keen. Its hard to keep initiating if the other party is not interested. Take care.

[Guest Derek]

Needa clarify something though... The text did not dies off immediately..

1st meet the text n everything still doing good .

it's the 3rd meet i think.

[Guest Derek]

Okay .  i don't really want to approach him and tell him that " hey can you please take the intiative etc " I really afraid that this would lead to argument and this is not the 1st time argued. 

[Wilbur]

I do agree on having no chemistry.

 

Conversations and communication this kind of thing should come naturally and not forced one. If there's a communication breakdown then whatever it is (date or relationship) it's not going to last Soz bro

[smokey]

Well , in my personal opinion , you might wanna gently let him go . See if he returns . If he does return , it means he is keen to keep that relationship going , but if he disappears after you let him off , never to return , then you know what you should do in order to not get hurt .

ThE meantime , go make friends with other ajs' . As the saying goes , dont give up a rainforest ( or is it jungle? Whateva ) for a tree .

Live life to the fullest . CHIONG AH !

[Guest Stephen_K]

Okay . i don't really want to approach him and tell him that " hey can you please take the intiative etc " I really afraid that this would lead to argument and this is not the 1st time argued.

You need not approach him and ask such question..like what advices that were given here,you should take up the more passive role ( text him less and see whether he comes back to you). A relationship should not be that complicated. Maybe deep inside you already know the the situation and the best answers to it but just refuse to accept or do anything about it. It is tough and will take great deal to face it.

It would be better at the end of the day

[jonnyboy]

Sometimes "you say it best, when you saying nothing at all". Real couples don't even use mere words to communicate anymore. A slight gesture, a gentle look in the eyes say a thousand words,

[Guest Derek]

Why can't I just ask him " hey are you keen to keep this relationship going? "

[freddisier2]

some people say you need to work hard on your 'potential' relationships

but others also say if things are too difficult, it's not meant to be.

 

I think it's neither of those extremes, it's always a balance between them in order to sustain and build a relationship.

so if you are trying this hard to make things work with that guy, ask yourself if the guys is doing the same thing. not necessarily as hard as you, but he needs to show some signs that he's interested in you, sometimes asking you stuffs without you having to initiate the conversation.

 

if the guys shows some efforts in getting to know you, but the conversations still get into a dead end quickly, then probably you guys are just too different people and don't share that fire and chemistry for a relationship. people think too much when it comes to love, making it out to be this complicated and mysterious thing, but actually it's quite simple. when it's right, you just know. if it's not, you know it too, just too scared to admit it.

Edited April 30, 2013 by freddisier2

[TheVisitors]

Now, let me put things in a different prospect.

There are people I come across in my life, are some of the better or best conversationalist in the world

They either know too much, think they know too much, think too much for their owm good, think they are more interesting or clever than an average Joe, but with one common factor in all of them

They think they are in control of their lives.

But when comes to the sex part, they are like death fishes

Even the frozen tuna at Cold Storage is even more interesting than them.

They have no idea what is good sex nor do they know how to please themselves or their partners.

It exposes a lie that they have no control over their lives.

All those hot air from them, suddenly become, so , meaningless

So, you maybe a good conversationalist or a looker, but in the sex part, their true raw self, is finally exposed

[revenkit]

Hmmm well sometimes u have to prompt them to ask you questions? Like ask them if they have anything in particular that they want to know about u?

 

For me I would be more proactive if I'm the one who started the convo n be more passive when ppl initiate a convo with me lol... I mean the one who starts the convo is the one who are interested in knowing the other guy while the one who received the msg may nt be interested in the convo starter... So its quite common for the convo starter to lead the convo n get the other guy to be interested in him?

 

As for meeting up, maybe you can try doing activities like cycling, bowling etc de so even if u dh any topics to talk about it wont seems that awkward? Or u can bring him for movie so u guys can talk about the movie after u guys watched it?

 

I tried asking few of them with that question but they didn't reply and end of conversation (in texting). So I guess it means they have nothing to know about me and that's a quite deadly question... Hahaha...

 

Hahaha sometimes when I'm the starter, I'll be proactive. But usually when I'm the receiver, they are still so passive. And then I'll automatically become proactive also. =.= Sucks to be me...

 

Hmmm cycling and bowling haven't tried yet. But movie already done. Some of them just have NO OPINIONS with the movie. They just merely say ok lor that movie. Not bad... I'm so gonna bang my head to the taufu....

[revenkit]

I feel you bro ... happened to me on my first ... or is it really even a date ?! Omg .....

 

It sucks right. Really felt so annoyed sometimes... Haizzz... 

[revenkit]

Regards to this... Is there even anything that can solve this ? 

Like wtf ... You talk to the guy and the guy just blandly reply you ?

 

I dun think there is anything that can solve this.... There's just one reason that is he's not interested in me anymore or did he ever get interested in me in the first place. Hahaha.... Well like they say, sometimes we like to cheat ourselves and not admitting it because he's one guy that's too good to let go

[smokey]

It sucks right. Really felt so annoyed sometimes... Haizzz...

Ya lorh ... sucks man . So how ? Any jueh zao to counter attack such things ? Lol dont think there is uh ? Hahaha

[revenkit]

Ya lorh ... sucks man . So how ? Any jueh zao to counter attack such things ? Lol dont think there is uh ? Hahaha

Hahaha yaya I dun think there is any counter attacks for such things ba. Just have to depends on both parties effort and interest lor... hahaha. That's why I'm also asking the opinions here about this situation.... 

[Just J]

Hahaha lol... sometimes maybe we are just paranoid or expecting too much from the other party? lol... I mean you really cant expect someone to be really enthu in replying every single question of urs lol especially when qn asked are normally those standard qns that everyone will ask lol...  if you look at the bright side, at least they still bothered to reply u? lol... Even closest friends run out of things to talk sometimes just that the silence then is more towards comfortable than awkward lol... So maybe we should try to enjoy the silence rather than feeling awkward and nervous about it lol...

 

 

Just share whatever is happening in your life lor. Like if you find anything interesting then snap a picture and whatsapp him. Then can talk about it awhile. 

 

I agree with darkie haha... sometimes u nid not flood the other party with qns after qns as he may get annoyed by it lol there's no nid for u 2 to be chatting endlessly for the whole day as well lol... So can try to take interesting stuffs that u noticed and share it with him lol haha... For me I just started cooking recently so normally I would just take photo of the food I cooked (failed or success), thn share it with my bf n we will just chat about it... 

[Flexibtm]

Well.. We met up before but here's the thing.

1) before meeting up a lot of things to talk about

2) After meeting not really much things to talk about.

U see....

Basically in my brain i could'nt think of anything to talk about at all.

but with other guys i can keep the conversation gg very well :/

You probably really like this guy so much. Take things slowly. Don't rush into relationship yet though u wish he would want too.

Common topics will arises if you start from normal friend then slowly towards relationship.

Hope thus help u