Open Relationship Discussion (Compiled)

[snowball]

If a guy that u Love or Like alot ask for open relationship,how is your reaction & decision?Or he even want 3some with someone to join in sometimes,will u agree?

I won't agree if really happen,but i can close one eye as long he is not doing infront of me & no third party involve,however i think it is very kinky having 3some with a couple

[kerbee10]

I felt regardless as in open or mono relationship.........move one day count one day........in this small town, there are many factors which you hardly find pure mono relationship, there is,but the percentage is not high.........

To each of his own how they communicate with the partner,I totally agreed with you, as for 3some involve in the relationship, I find that the relationship is no more purely bonding togather,should i say not love instead of lust...

So mostly mono relationship debates on LOVE VS LUST........and how long it can LAST........

[xiix]

Personally, I am against open relationships. Its like telling the other person 'I love you, but not enough to have sex with you only'. Its like having a live in sex buddy for old age companion insurance.

There are some who dont mind a bit of threesome fun while on holiday together. That is ok however, even though my partner and I talked about it and fantasize alot about it, we know we will never do it.

To each, his own.

[Guest guest]

With boyfriend but dont have much sex, he not bothered about it, he 5 years younger then I am, love him but need physical contact.

So thinking of open relationship but will it be a end to our relationship ?

[Sidney]

With boyfriend but dont have much sex, he not bothered about it, he 5 years younger then I am, love him but need physical contact.

So thinking of open relationship but will it be a end to our relationship ?

This is something you should be talking about with him, rather than with us.

[Guest Guest]

what happens if u meet someone else u love who loves u more than yr current bf?

open relationship is transitional at best.

couples remain in open relationship only because they have not met someone else better.

but there is always someone else better than yr current one!

just see where lust and greed take u to as life itself is an interesting journey.

[DonovanWong]

Really depends on the maturity of your bf and how you guys want to set the rules IMO

[HLmilk]

personally against open relationships. but if it works for you and your partner, then kudos to u.

[fab]

Personally, I find it meaningless.

[TheVisitors]

It is a meaningless arrangement for people who are more serious and cherish the relationship with another human.

Personally I feel people who wants to settle down yet still wants someone to agree with them having fun outside, are abit immature, abit more self centred, who wants everything at a goal.

But I am here not to judge their terms.

What i think you feel you both are drifing apart that he is neglecting your needs here.

Hint him or talk to him.

If he doesnt understand, doesnt want to heel subtle warning , and if you do have flings or have an affair with another guy,

I won't blame you for that.

Because he was already told.

[Guest Awkward?]

Hi all, what do you guys think about Open Relationship? What does it mean to you?

I had an experience with a guy who is in an Open Relationship with his boyfriend.

He asked me home for dinner that night. After dinner, he started caressing me all over, oblivious to his partner's presence. He told me it's ok.

It was exciting, at the same time, a little awkward for me. Having said that, I enjoyed myself very much.

What do you guys think about this relationship? It seems healthy to me because they've been together for many years. I am totally surprised!

[PaterTenebrarum]

To each his own. Whatever works for one couple might not work for another.

[whereyouat]

To each his own. Whatever works for one couple might not work for another.

I agree.

:clap:

Personally I feel awkward and am not really okay with the concept and idea.

Because I believe in a way, if and should both gets somewhat promiscuous, it may likely jeopardize the health of all concerned.

Despite the use of contraceptives, etc.

Edited July 7, 2011 by whereyouat

[Guest OpenRelation not sex]

well, even you all declare you are P, does mean you all will then can enjoy happy session on bed.

somehow I have the same problem like you, which my BF does not have much sex with me, I have been accumulated my bullet quite some time, and I told him that was reserved for him...

until now still not yet released... sob sob... :oops:

[dexter9898]

Everyone has a reason for an open r/s. I have met a couple who were both bottom. I can tell that they both loved each other, but they loved to be F also. :whistle:

[snowball]

i think mono or open relationship, it's doesn't matter as long both are fine & they are happy with it.

[kennethhost]

As long as he is agree, why not? Play safe... :thumb:

[qsefthu78]

I think the term 'open relationship' is overly used and misunderstood by many.

In the real sense of the word, it really means while having a partner, you both are open to having one or multiple relationships - or rather romantic interests. This can be done outside the current relationship, or both guys may share together. It's like having multiple bfs.

What most of the people mentioned here are having casual sex outside the relationship, when there is a sexual urge when the partner is not around or not sexually fulfilled or whatever. This isn't considered a relationship when you have casual no strings attached fun, does it? Just like when you cruise or meet people up just for fun, etc.

Your bf may not be the most sexually appealling creature around, but he can be the person you love the most. So if both you and bf are mutually alike in having a rational matured thinking, having sexual fun outside or together doesn't necessarily mean that the relationship is open for others to enter or share.

There should be another term to name this. Sluts??? Haha just joking. No offence.

You may think that it is very immature, but it takes a lot more maturity than you think for couples to accept sexual fun outside whether alone or together. Much more maturity than self proclaimed monogamous couples who go all drama when discovered either one has had sex outside when it was just something no strings attached.

But like it is, different things work for different people...

[Roger]

From my own experiences with people, there are far too many married men, attached gays that are openly having sex with others. Somehow, after sometime of faithfulness, they venture outside for sex.

It is no more a moral issue. Whether this affects their relationship, only a few are concerned. Their sexual urge is just too great to withhold, they have to satisfy their impulses first, there is something their partners can't do or their sex with them is not exciting anymore.

In many instances, their "attached" or married relationship is questionable, so its not an issue at this present time anymore. We have to accept cultural or habit changes as history passes.

[Guest inalatit CHAPTER]

From my own experiences with people, there are far too many married men, attached gays that are openly having sex with others. Somehow, after sometime of faithfulness, they venture outside for sex.

It is no more a moral issue. Whether this affects their relationship, only a few are concerned. Their sexual urge is just too great to withhold, they have to satisfy their impulses first, there is something their partners can't do or their sex with them is not exciting anymore.

In many instances, their "attached" or married relationship is questionable, so its not an issue at this present time anymore. We have to accept cultural or habit changes as history passes.

http://www.blowingwind.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=21491&view=findpost&p=223446

:whistle:

[Guest Onlyguy]

An open relationship defined as a relationship in which the people involved agree that they want to be together, but in which romantic or sexual relationships with additional people are accepted, permitted or tolerated.

How many of you are in a relationship and both of you permits each other to have sex with other people out there?

Am I the only guy in this world who's keen for 1 to 1 relationship with no additional people?

[zcbm101]

Firstly, I have never been in a relationship - so what I type here is purely theoretical without personal experience haha.

I am of the opinion that an open relationship doesn't work. What I mean by open relationship is 2 people in an emotional + sexual commitment allowing each other to venture outside for sex with outsiders.

Other than the obvious health safety issues, I think a commitment to another is just that - a promise to give myself to you and vice versa. I will make the effort to satisfy you (oooh, sounds so kinky) emotionally and physically because I love you. If I have to search outside for physical satisfaction, then why do we even bother having a relationship?

[Guest payer]

With boyfriend but dont have much sex, he not bothered about it, he 5 years younger then I am, love him but need physical contact.

So thinking of open relationship but will it be a end to our relationship ?

if it's sex (physical contact) you need

instead of seeking fun buddy, etc

won't it also be easier going transactional?

as in, pay to get what you want

be done with it (him) and move on

no strings attached, neat.

open relationship = having to manage possible 2/more sets of emotions?

nb: not advocating paid sex, just thinking - wouldn't there less hassle, no hang ups, etc...

[Guest norman]

call me conservative or old fashioned but i dun understand how a couple can go into an open relationship. worse is when it is only one-sided.

when two decide to go into a relationship, they know that they click emotionally and sexually. they love and care for each other and he is the one for you.

so how do you feel when you are having fun with various guys outside? do you still think of your bf? won't it be weird when you are with your bf later, do u still think about the great sex with other guys you have had?

to me, having sex still involves abit of emotions. the kissing, looking into his eyes and the sexual talks etc. i cannot imagine giving it to someone else when i am attached.

when there is no more spark in the relationship, isn't it time to end it? to have other guys involved just does not seem like a relationship anymore.

any guy who is in an open relationship wanna share their experiences? i hope to hear from more.

[Manbane]

I think the term 'open relationship' is overly used and misunderstood by many.

What most of the people mentioned here are having casual sex outside the relationship, when there is a sexual urge when the partner is not around or not sexually fulfilled or whatever. This isn't considered a relationship when you have casual no strings attached fun, does it? Just like when you cruise or meet people up just for fun, etc.

There should be another term to name this. Sluts??? Haha just joking. No offence.

Hmm based on your definition i am a slut lol. Seriously i couldn't agree with you more! I have seen so many people with their moral high ground and yet

their own relationship can't last more than a few years. They preach of true love, fidelity and waiting for the "one" but just can't figure out why cant it work.

Anyway, this is like the 11 or 12 years i am with my partner. We have stayed together since year 1(seeing each other like almost every day), was faithful and monogamous for 10 years and a perfect role model couple. Than we started having ONS outside due to sexual compatibility issue But it doesn't mean that we dont love each other anymore..infact, he is and will always be my one and only love. I have no doubt i will give him a kidney if he needs it and he will do likewise. I have prepared my Will under his name in case i pass away.

In 10 to 20 years time when we grow old together where sex is not that big of an issue, we would still be deeply in love and together. So i dont see the sex part with others a problem. And yes, contrary to popular belief, having sex with others doesn't necessary need to have the "emotional' bond.

[MobyDick]

Actually I wanna ask.. What if your low sex drive partner enjoys sex more/ sex more frequently with other men when u both are into a open relationship? Can u accept?

[Guest rain]

can you be more frank about why your sexual life fizzle out, like comapatibilty days very little about your sexual needs problem, can you share more,

I am also in a long term relationship with bf , we are like husband and wife, we have great sex in the beginning but now we seem to like the comapny more than the sexual part . we have been together about 15 years already, i will share my secrets if you you tell me your compatibility issues ,

thansk

[Guest Ironrod]

Like Rain and Manbane has said unless u have being in a very long relationship - u will not understand truely why some couple goes "open".

2 ppl still love each other but sexually unhappy may resort to different methods to "save" the r/s and when all else failed - "open" r/s is also an option.

When i was younger, my mindset is like norman and couldn't understand why ppl have "open r/s" and I am not saying I support "open r/s" but sometimes love just ain't enough - it's either u allow what both of you built up for 10-20 years to crumble into dust or you both work out a plan to save it.

Looking at that perspective may provide you better insight.

As an outsider, we may be easy to say "breakup" etc but when a person becomes part of your life.....it's really not that easy to tear it all apart.

I do agree with what "the vistor" say if the couple didn't even try and just wants to go open that everything is a big selfish lie.

Edited June 14, 2012 by Ironrod

[derryfawne]

I think open relationship is possible, and it's just a matter of how people arrange their relationship.

I've heard stories from some other gays and their decisions to go 'open' are understandable.

Just as long as it's agreed upon by all parties involved.

[Speedos]

With boyfriend but dont have much sex, he not bothered about it, he 5 years younger then I am, love him but need physical contact.

So thinking of open relationship but will it be a end to our relationship ?

You guys must talk things out as mature adults. Do not do things behind each other's back as it will definitely damage the love relationship.

[Yang]

I don't really encourage open relationship. It's best if you could talk to him and make him understand your needs. Open relationship may open to more variances and possible risks.

[Guest Recurring Guest]

What strikes me the most here is that many of the respondents have never been in a relationship before, yet they are taking such a high moral ground regarding the issue.

I think a lot of gay people (and straight for that matter) think that love and life are a Hollywood movie. The spend their whole lifechasing that dream that lasts for 2 hours on a screen, recreating the behaviour they see in a cheese music video, and longing for that supposed ideal straigh couple life that does not even exist in the straight world.

I have friends both gay and straight in both open or closed relationship, living separate or together, younger and older, and everybody seems to be happy with their own arrangement. Some people are happy with one sexual partner forever, some others are not. If you consider sex as the main thing that keeps to people together then go and look for someone that thinks likewise. Personally I think that trust, love and commitment make a relationship work, and that is what I see around me.

And yes I believe in long time relationships. I believe in two people loving, caring and trusting each other, and I believe that exclusive sex does not necessarily has to be a part of that. And yes, I am in one, and I have for the last 8 years. I have the "ideal" straight set up. We live in our own place that we bought under both names. Mine and his family treat us no different to any of our siblings and their couples and never made the attempt to hide to others the nature of our relationship.

I think the guy I live with is an exceptional person, and I would really struggle figuring out my life without him. I definitely love him and I know he feels the same about me. I would give him a kidney, and arm of a leg if he needed it and he would do the same for me. We laugh a lot, talk about everything, learn from each other and share great moments, with other people or by ourselves. We also have arguments and moments when we think the other one is an idiot. But we have built our life around each other and I hope that that is the way it will always be. And if you are going to tell me that all this is rendered meaningless because I might have sex with another guy in an agreed and respectful manner, you are sounding to me not much different to the priest that preaches that there is no possible love between two men.

[Manbane]

"Actually I wanna ask.. What if your low sex drive partner enjoys sex more/ sex more frequently with other men when u both are into a open relationship? Can u accept?"

Its really for you guys to draw your own boundary. Anyway, open or close relationship, its always not easy and effort has to be made to keep it up. The thing with open relationship

is that it does open up a lot of possibilities of interaction with others. This result in comparison of current situation (aka like romance vs your wife at home). And as a result, the relationship might fail very fast

if the couple doesn't have a clear matured mind when they go into open rs. As ironic as it sounds, i went into this path because the sex was causing lots of problem with our rs. And now we are both happier and less frustrated about the sex part.

Hmm with regards to the question posted, i think its a given thing that sex is probably more fun outside else why would we bother to start open rs. And one party is bound to have more sex with other men unless you guys make it clear of the rules.

At the end of the day, if you are going to be so bothered by the sex thinggy, better dont start as chances of failing is damn high. Sex is really not that big part of a love relationship once you stay with a person for many years. There is a life built around it, common friends and family, the little little things that gel two person together.

[kyle24]

u shud discuss and share about ur biological needs,, i think he needs too except he dont love u,, good luck

[fab]

coincidentally, my dog also has open relationships in the neighbourhood.

Edited June 14, 2012 by fab

[thaiboyz]

There many couples vowed to remain faithful initially but eventually ended up in an open relationship which IS different from doing behind each other bk secretly, THere are pros and cons abt open rs, pros are when couples able to Be transparent accept his partner's life style and several can go to the extend of having 3some together

However there are chances when his partner develop feeling for the third partner, fresh meat always taste better then here goes the relationship

[iamziz]

Yes, if it works for u good. We learn to respect every1's right for a view and we decide if we like to take it, leave it or kiv it. My personal view (keywords 'my personal view') an open relationship if has to take place is not at the early stage of a relationship. It happens much later - many years later as by then you love your partner for all his flaws anything outside what most of us call open relationship is just sex. When emotional factor added on, then that is not an open relationship.

As far as possible, I try to avoid fun with couples. Been in situations one likes me the other one doesn't as much as they said 'It is ok. We are open. We have been together for X years.' Some even willing to pay me to fxxk their boyfriends. I just find it sad. I don't want to be the reason to rock their relationships.

You see, you don't love someone in a short period of time. You like the person. You build the passion. You learn to appreciate and understand the haves and have nots, the flaws. I have always believed if you want to try to be in a relationship with someone, don't sleep with him on the 1st few dates. As by the time you guys decided to strip naked together, his flaws and your flaws are just little thing compared to the matter of the heart.

For those succeeded. congrats, for those failed take that as an experience, for those who just read and heard don't be hard on those in one or thinking of it. This is a forum after all. We exchange opinions maturely. We learn to agree and disagree. No one forces us to take their views.

Edited June 15, 2012 by iamziz

[Seedrick]

I am not sure about anyone else, but sex always comes with emotional baggage for me. Thus, I am only able to do it with someone I love. Else it's just weird to me. But that's just me ;)

[Guest Guest]

Some concerns about open relationship that i have:

1) how to go about setting rules when u are unsure what will happen? Do u set new rules as u go along?

2) what if one party fall in love with a new partner?

3) cant deny the fact that it will increase the risk of diseases after going open. How to cope with reverting bk to protected sex with ur partner when both of u hv been doing it raw monogamously?

Hope to hear some constructive and unbiased comments.

[Guest Guest]

For guys in open r/s, do u talk about your 'outside' sexual experiences with your partner?

[Guest hydronaut]

I always find "Open Relationship" to be a totally waste of time for both parties.

Firstly, I dun believe that a relationship will be a relationship when it is open. You play on your own and seek sexual gratitifications elsewhere. Humans are humans when you tend to let your mind settled on someone or another object of desires, you tend to look back and compare and then it just give ways to excuses for break ups. Most people will go for the best which suit them, who would keep the things that seemingly can be second to and can be replaced?

If you loved someone, you wouldn't be bearing to share that special someone...that is why it is called special, mind you.

[Guest Guest]

I always find "Open Relationship" to be a totally waste of time for both parties.

Firstly, I dun believe that a relationship will be a relationship when it is open. You play on your own and seek sexual gratitifications elsewhere. Humans are humans when you tend to let your mind settled on someone or another object of desires, you tend to look back and compare and then it just give ways to excuses for break ups. Most people will go for the best which suit them, who would keep the things that seemingly can be second to and can be replaced?

If you loved someone, you wouldn't be bearing to share that special someone...that is why it is called special, mind you.

we can never understand how two people in a relationship of 10+ years or more feel. there is so much emotional baggage that is hard to be let go. there is still love but the sex has died down. sexual partners just come and go but your other half is not easy to just say let go.

i got to watch this recently, it is not totally related but no harm watching. national geographic channel <taboo> season 5 episode 15 'sex' talking about swingers in australia.

[Albatross]

I am with my bf for 4.5years and for the past 2 years or so we started to have problem with our sex life... I am of high sex drive but he is not... We didn't have sex for the past 6/7 mths already...

Been talking with friends about it with different opinions just like this forum...

As we have gone through quite a bit of ups and downs in life together, we still love each other. We have quarreled a few times whenever we talk about our sex life problem but nothing improved. He has made it very clearly that he will not agree to an open relationship at all. I have thought of breaking up with him but don't bear to do so cos I still love him... Is it worth to do so just for the sex part?

But then again, wouldn't it be better to let go and give both of us our opportunity to look for the 'ideal' one instead of hanging on to it and kinda 'waste' our time?

He knows that I'm of high sex drive and if I didn't do with him for the past 6-7 mths, surely he would know that I must be having it somewhere! But he seems not wanting to know about it at all! Is this a way to 'open one eye and close one eye' to

Maintain the relationship?

Frankly, till now I still don't have an answer for myself what I should do... All I know is that 'Sex may not be a major part of a relationship but without good sex, it will be a major problem in a relationship!'

[Guest Guest]

I am with my bf for 4.5years and for the past 2 years or so we started to have problem with our sex life... I am of high sex drive but he is not... We didn't have sex for the past 6/7 mths already...

Been talking with friends about it with different opinions just like this forum...

As we have gone through quite a bit of ups and downs in life together, we still love each other. We have quarreled a few times whenever we talk about our sex life problem but nothing improved. He has made it very clearly that he will not agree to an open relationship at all. I have thought of breaking up with him but don't bear to do so cos I still love him... Is it worth to do so just for the sex part?

But then again, wouldn't it be better to let go and give both of us our opportunity to look for the 'ideal' one instead of hanging on to it and kinda 'waste' our time?

He knows that I'm of high sex drive and if I didn't do with him for the past 6-7 mths, surely he would know that I must be having it somewhere! But he seems not wanting to know about it at all! Is this a way to 'open one eye and close one eye' to

Maintain the relationship?

Frankly, till now I still don't have an answer for myself what I should do... All I know is that 'Sex may not be a major part of a relationship but without good sex, it will be a major problem in a relationship!'

I think u sld open a new thread and share your problem, might get more replies.

Are u the top in the r/s? So did u look for sex elsewhere for the past few months?

I guess u sld talk to ur bf abt it and work smth out. Any idea why ur bf does not want to have sex with u anymore?

[Guest guest]

wat is the benefit of a open relationship? u get to suck more different cock and still have a lover?u won t feel jeolous or lonely after a ons or threesome session.u got more time to go out with other guys and can still save the sauna card, dun need to throw away the card to prove anything.u dun have to buy gold or valantine gift if he is a dovoted lover?

[Guest guest]

Huh? Doesnt open relationship just means that you dont hide ur relationship? And tells ppl about it? Wad has open relationship got to do with whats stated above???

[Magicerife]

LOL. no an open relationship doesnt mean it's above grounds. The parties agree to be together but agree to a form of non monogamous affair, where they agree that a romantic or intimate relationship with another person is accepted. The parties involved have two or more romantic or sexual relationships occuaring at the same time.

Hallelujah.

[Tight Ass]

You know what I find so disgusting about an open relationship?

You are eating and shitting at the same time !!! :yuk:

[malcolmmalcolm]

Can i ask what are your perspectives on open relationship? Do you think it's okay for your partner to have fun with other people and love you at the same time? Do you think it may be possible for your partner to accidentally fall in love with a fuck buddy. I want to know whether if it's okay to be in an open relationship. Or is it too risky?

[Guest SameChoices]

When we met, both young, horny, popular. New partners every week. Moved in together and continued the fun. Now 20+ years and still good!