I Just Had Raw Unprotected Sex, Will I Get STD + Should I Start Pep? + How Soon To Go For A Hiv Test (Compiled)

December 21, 2014

At first, the guy fucked me with a condom. Then, he removed it. And I allowed it because he is very good looking. Then, he cummed. I was deliberating whether I should let him cum inside me. After a short while of hesitation, I pulled his penis out. I didn't feel any liquid inside my ass, but he might have cummed inside me. I'm not sure.

Pep costs $640. It has a 90% chance of preventing HIV transmission. The whole course of medication is 28 days. There are significant side effects, including nausea, diarrhoea and anorexia.

When I asked after sex, the guy claimed he is safe. His last test was a month ago.

On one hand, I think I may be a bit paranoid to start pep. On the other hand, I can't trust that he is safe. I met him at a sauna. And he might have fucked many guys raw before me. In fact, this is the second time I did raw with him. The first time was many months ago. He didn't cum then though. I was tested HIV negative after that. But he may be infected without knowing it. Even if the risk is low, getting HIV is very traumatic and serious. I think my PR would be revoked. I'm thinking why save $640 and risk getting HIV and spending $1000 a month on HIV medications for life. But I'm quite concerned about the side effects.

Should I start pep? Does anyone has experience on pep? Do the side effects affect only a small group of people?

BigEars · December 21, 2014

According to what I know, prep is only useful if you start the treatment before the antibodies develop. Which means before you start testing positive (given that you are imfected). So I guess you don't have much time to deliberate.

Why take the risk right, when you can do something that has a 90% success rate of preventing the infection!

azimuth · December 21, 2014

If you are worried, get the doctor to advise you. No one can say for sure.

December 21, 2014

Go for PEP.

fly360 · December 21, 2014

You should take the PEP as quickly as possible since it is most effective when initiated within 72 hours of exposure. After that window, PEP might not work at all. The sooner you go to do it, the better. Better the $640 spent now than to spend thousands over your lifetime while being sick.

December 22, 2014

At first, the guy fucked me with a condom. Then, he removed it. And I allowed it because he is very good looking. Then, he cummed.

So, he's too good looking to resist? 鬼迷心竅

Oogachagacare · December 22, 2014

At first, the guy fucked me with a condom. Then, he removed it. And I allowed it because he is very good looking. Then, he cummed. I was deliberating whether I should let him cum inside me. After a short while of hesitation, I pulled his penis out. I didn't feel any liquid inside my ass, but he might have cummed inside me. I'm not sure.
Pep costs $640. It has a 90% chance of preventing HIV transmission. The whole course of medication is 28 days. There are significant side effects, including nausea, diarrhoea and anorexia.
When I asked after sex, the guy claimed he is safe. His last test was a month ago.
On one hand, I think I may be a bit paranoid to start pep. On the other hand, I can't trust that he is safe. I met him at a sauna. And he might have fucked many guys raw before me. In fact, this is the second time I did raw with him. The first time was many months ago. He didn't cum then though. I was tested HIV negative after that. But he may be infected without knowing it. Even if the risk is low, getting HIV is very traumatic and serious. I think my PR would be revoked. I'm thinking why save $640 and risk getting HIV and spending $1000 a month on HIV medications for life. But I'm quite concerned about the side effects.
Should I start pep? Does anyone has experience on pep? Do the side effects affect only a small group of people?

Sounds like you are really worried & anxious enough to have done your own research, as well as reach out for advice.

May I suggest that you get in touch immediate with Action for AIDS (AFA) PEP SOS service at this link: http://afa.org.sg/knowmore/pepsos/

They would have experienced people who can advise you quickly & accurately.

aedile1234 · December 22, 2014

At first, the guy fucked me with a condom. Then, he removed it. And I allowed it because he is very good looking.

What year is this? Its been three whole decades since HIV AIDS first registered fully on the radar of most gays around the world. And yet there r still guys like the TS happy to hv another gay take off a condom n continue having sex - coz they r "very good-looking"?

When I asked after sex, the guy claimed he is safe. His last test was a month ago

N u actually trusted this guy? How could u possibly know he had a test a month ago? Did he show u the result? N r u still nt aware that it takes 2 tests some time apart before anyone can say with certainty they r HIV -. Most counsellors will recommend a minimum window of 3 months between tests to be 100% certain u r nt infected with the virus. Even if he hd been through that 3 month window (which surely is unlikely given his preference for bb sex in anonymous saunas?) how could u possibly know that he had nt been infected with the virus in the month between that test n the sex u had with him? The fact is u had absolutely no idea.

Sorry to be so blunt. But the facts about HIV transmission have been known for decades. There r sites all over the internet, there r doctors u can discuss it with, there r organisations like Oogachacare who go out of their way to help guys understand the ways HIV is transmitted.

I met him at a sauna. And he might have fucked many guys raw before me. In fact, this is the second time I did raw with him. The first time was many months ago. He didn't cum then though. I was tested HIV negative after that. But he may be infected without knowing it. Even if the risk is low, getting HIV is very traumatic and serious.

Even worse, u know exactly what the dangers r - yet u still had bb sex with this guy u had bb sex with before! Hv u not been reading the threads here - not just about HIV but also the host of other STDs u can be infected with? I hope for ur sake u start learning now - fast!

December 22, 2014

when u are good looking, u can do almost anything u want. its a fact.

TS, u can go for 4th generation HIV test kit after 14 days

azimuth · December 22, 2014

when u are good looking, u can do almost anything u want. its a fact.

TS, u can go for 4th generation HIV test kit after 14 days

That's a bit too late. Prevention (PEP) is better than cure.

December 22, 2014

A lot of them use fake pics. So if u decided to employ their service, make sure u ask them to take a snap shot of themselves n send to u to prove he is the one in the profile pic. I had learnt from my carelessness! Lolz

This "good looking" guy seems to like bb sex with everyone he meets at the sauna. I would consider him high risk.

atropine · December 22, 2014

PEP works only if initiated within 48hrs. Anything longer than 48hrs u can forget it..

atropine · December 22, 2014

And his post is also stupid. Weighing both side effects and the chance of getting HIV, instead of starting the meds he go and worry about the side effects. lol... priority wrong man..

December 22, 2014

Thank you for all the replies.

I have started PEP within 17 hours. On hindsight, even if I insisted on using a condom, it does not reduce the risk of HIV transmission significantly. This is because I am not sure when the guy removed the condom. It is very likely that he had been fucking me raw for some time already when I first realised he removed the condom. And the doctor said that unprotected anal sex without ejaculation does not significantly reduce the risk of HIV transmission compared to one with ejaculation into the rectum. Pre-cum is also contagious.

And it was not an easy and obvious choice to start PEP, especially once I learnt more about it. After starting PEP, it is common to experience low red blood cell count, low white blood cell count, nail pigmentation, hair loss and inflammation that damages blood vessels. All these may be IRREVERSIBLE! And they are COMMON. Within a few hours of the first dose, I experienced diarrhoea, headache and giddiness.

The doctor said that in my case there is no medical advice for or against PEP. There is no absolute proof that PEP reduces the risk of HIV. There is only one single study that shows it works in human. At some point, I was feeling as though he was advising against PEP, much to my surprise! He said that the alternative is to wait for a month and do a HIV test. He said I have to make the decision myself.

The risk of HIV transmission from an infected person is 1.4% for unprotected receptive anal sex. Assuming the probability that my sex partner is HIV positive is 50%, due to his probable frequent raw anal sex. My chance of getting HIV infection is 0.7%. And I'm guessing, due to the PEP side effects, the chance of me getting some degree of permanent damage to my liver, kidneys, blood, blood vessels, hair follicles and/or nails is around 5-25%. So the guy could be HIV negative and I'm doing all these permanent damages to my body. With PEP, my chance of HIV infection is reduced by 80%, from 0.7% to 0.14%.

From now on, I will not have unprotected anal sex. But it's difficult to prevent people who remove condom without informing you. There was no indication that he was going to remove the condom. What I did was to allow him to continue fucking me raw after I realised it. I do not know whether this is right. I mean, since I was already exposed to the guy, the "best" I could do was to just enjoy whatever that had already been started? And again, no ejaculation doesn't mean it's safer.

December 22, 2014

You sounded like this whole episode is just a fabrication to raise awareness....

When you really kena HIV (hope soon) post here to share your good news. Can't wait to give you a toast & congratulate you from the bottom of my heart

aedile1234 · December 22, 2014

Yeap, can't blame people for being cynical with a post like that...

December 23, 2014

Thank you for all the replies.
I have started PEP within 17 hours. On hindsight, even if I insisted on using a condom, it does not reduce the risk of HIV transmission significantly. This is because I am not sure when the guy removed the condom. It is very likely that he had been fucking me raw for some time already when I first realised he removed the condom. And the doctor said that unprotected anal sex without ejaculation does not significantly reduce the risk of HIV transmission compared to one with ejaculation into the rectum. Pre-cum is also contagious.
And it was not an easy and obvious choice to start PEP, especially once I learnt more about it. After starting PEP, it is common to experience low red blood cell count, low white blood cell count, nail pigmentation, hair loss and inflammation that damages blood vessels. All these may be IRREVERSIBLE! And they are COMMON. Within a few hours of the first dose, I experienced diarrhoea, headache and giddiness.
The doctor said that in my case there is no medical advice for or against PEP. There is no absolute proof that PEP reduces the risk of HIV. There is only one single study that shows it works in human. At some point, I was feeling as though he was advising against PEP, much to my surprise! He said that the alternative is to wait for a month and do a HIV test. He said I have to make the decision myself.
The risk of HIV transmission from an infected person is 1.4% for unprotected receptive anal sex. Assuming the probability that my sex partner is HIV positive is 50%, due to his probable frequent raw anal sex. My chance of getting HIV infection is 0.7%. And I'm guessing, due to the PEP side effects, the chance of me getting some degree of permanent damage to my liver, kidneys, blood, blood vessels, hair follicles and/or nails is around 5-25%. So the guy could be HIV negative and I'm doing all these permanent damages to my body. With PEP, my chance of HIV infection is reduced by 80%, from 0.7% to 0.14%.
From now on, I will not have unprotected anal sex. But it's difficult to prevent people who remove condom without informing you. There was no indication that he was going to remove the condom. What I did was to allow him to continue fucking me raw after I realised it. I do not know whether this is right. I mean, since I was already exposed to the guy, the "best" I could do was to just enjoy whatever that had already been started? And again, no ejaculation doesn't mean it's safer.

"The risk of HIV transmission from an infected person is 1.4% for unprotected receptive anal sex. Assuming the probability that my sex partner is HIV positive is 50%, due to his probable frequent raw anal sex. My chance of getting HIV infection is 0.7%. And I'm guessing, due to the PEP side effects, the chance of me getting some degree of permanent damage to my liver, kidneys, blood, blood vessels, hair follicles and/or nails is around 5-25%. So the guy could be HIV negative and I'm doing all these permanent damages to my body. With PEP, my chance of HIV infection is reduced by 80%, from 0.7% to 0.14%."

So why go through all this pain for a few minutes of pleasure?

December 23, 2014

Years ago, I went to this guy's place at Bukit Timah. He kept saying that he is only rubbing his cock around my asshole because I told him I don't want raw sex. Then after a while he pinned me down and pushed his cock in. Once his cock entered, I suddenly lost my will to push him away. He pumped until he cummed.

The next morning I sheepishly went to DSC Clinic at Kelantan Lane and requested for PEP. Experienced side effects of naseau. Time and money spent for a moment of losing the will to resist the pushing of cock into me.

December 23, 2014

Years ago, I went to this guy's place at Bukit Timah. He kept saying that he is only rubbing his cock around my asshole because I told him I don't want raw sex. Then after a while he pinned me down and pushed his cock in. Once his cock entered, I suddenly lost my will to push him away. He pumped until he cummed.
The next morning I sheepishly went to DSC Clinic at Kelantan Lane and requested for PEP. Experienced side effects of naseau. Time and money spent for a moment of losing the will to resist the pushing of cock into me.

Oh shit, I think I know who the guy is

aedile1234 · December 23, 2014

But it's difficult to prevent people who remove condom without informing you. There was no indication that he was going to remove the condom.

I dont buy this argument at all! The TS hd already allowed the guy to have bb sex with him on an earlier occasion. Since he likes talking of percentages, of course he must hv realised there was a near 100% chance the guy wld wish to do the same second time round?

The risk of HIV transmission from an infected person is 1.4% for unprotected receptive anal sex. Assuming the probability that my sex partner is HIV positive is 50%, due to his probable frequent raw anal sex. My chance of getting HIV infection is 0.7%. And I'm guessing, due to the PEP side effects, the chance of me getting some degree of permanent damage to my liver, kidneys, blood, blood vessels, hair follicles and/or nails is around 5-25%. So the guy could be HIV negative and I'm doing all these permanent damages to my body. With PEP, my chance of HIV infection is reduced by 80%, from 0.7% to 0.14%.

The latest US Centers for Disease Control figures do show an average infection rate of 1.4% from tops to bttms and 0.11% from bttms to tops. However it is important to note the CDC's website adds, "Factors that may increase the risk of HIV transmission include sexually transmitted diseases, acute and late-stage HIV infection, and high viral load." So that risk of 1.4% may be a lot higher than the TS thinks.

The fact is that those who go to saunas n those who hv sexual liaisons that r basically anonymous hv absolutely no clue about the state of health of the guys they r with. They may look handsome n virile n in the best of health, n u may b overcome with desire to hv sex with them. These same guys will say they r healthy.They may believe they r healthy. But how do u trust someone u hv never met before? The fact is u cannot. U therefore must assume the worst n protect urself. Its ur life, after all. That means protection against a host of other STDs in addition to HIV some of which also hv no actual cure.

Talking of percentages, it seems from reports in various countries that bb is now on the rise esp amongst younger guys. Perhaps this hs something to do with the fact that HIV-AIDS is now seen as a chronic illness rather than the death sentence of 30 years ago. Perhaps it is a result of the reduction in HIV prevention education programmes so that the younger generation is not as aware as their seniors what a huge effect HIV can hv on their lives.

Whatever the reason, guys who do not use condoms r playing a desperate game of Russian roulette. Forget the percentages! Remember, it just takes one fuck!

December 23, 2014

ppl always assumed they are in the percentage that will not be infected. they dont put themselves in the small percentage of being infected.

December 23, 2014

I dont buy this argument at all! The TS hd already allowed the guy to have bb sex with him on an earlier occasion. Since he likes talking of percentages, of course he must hv realised there was a near 100% chance the guy wld wish to do the same second time round?

The first time I did raw anal sex with him, we were in a foam party. There were no condoms available near us. We could have, of course, gone into a room, but that might be a little anti-climax. Perhaps it was the thrill of having sex in the foam in public, while looking at many hot guys - perhaps, it was the thinking that you have to try everything at least once - that made me stay there. So when he placed his dick near my ass that time, I knew that he would fuck me raw, unless I request to go into a room, which I didn't want to. So it was an informed consent.

But this time we were in a room, and he put on a condom. I would not have expected he would remove it during sex. Perhaps, he didn't plan to as well. Perhaps, he became so turned on and high that he decided to fuck me raw when we were "in the zone".

HIV/STD counsellors always emphasise how risky raw sex is. And I agree. But this alone may not stop people from having raw sex, because there are many people, like me, who find raw sex more enjoyable, more intimate, more real and sexier. But this issue, I find, is never addressed. If you tell them (the counsellors) this, which is how you really feel about it, they would think that you are crazy!

Blacque · December 23, 2014

I'm sure some of them do understand that raw sex could be a guilty pleasure.

December 23, 2014

HIV/STD counsellors always emphasise how risky raw sex is. And I agree. But this alone may not stop people from having raw sex, because there are many people, like me, who find raw sex more enjoyable, more intimate, more real and sexier. But this issue, I find, is never addressed. If you tell them (the counsellors) this, which is how you really feel about it, they would think that you are crazy!

Many people enjoy sunbathing. They prefer to have a darker bronze tan than a white body. Does that mean they strip down n spend hours in the sun without sun lotion to protect the skin both from ageing too quickly n skin cancer - fast becoming one of the most common cancers? Of course not. They protect themselves from future dangers even though it adds to their expenses n takes a little more time to wash the cream/oil off.

U only hv to read a few chat sites to know that some people prefer raw bb sex. I hv no doubt it feels more enjoyable. But u started this thread n spent a couple of posts moaning about what another guy did to u without ur knowledge n the risks u were exposed to re HIV n further side effect risks from taking PEP. Now it seems u want to move the discussion in favour of raw sex! U cant have it both ways!

Perhaps u might also think of another issue here. Suppose u hv raw sex sometimes. Say u get HIV tests every 6 months. Lets say the guys u hv sex with do the same. How many other guys will u hv sex with in those 6 month periods? After the first one raw encounter, ur HIV- clock is set back to zero. U dont know what ur condition will be till the next test. In the meantime, how many other less knowledgable guys might u infect? Thats the real problem with raw sex, as I see it. Its a selfish act that in many cases puts lots of others at risk of catching HIV.

... raw sex could be a guilty pleasure.

"How do u plead?"

"Guilty, m'lud"

"U r hereby sentenced to a lifetime supply of HIV medications. Start saving - for life!"

December 23, 2014

Miss the sex in the past.

The majority of the world populace have been doing it raw for untold millienias until roughly about 30 years ago because of sexually transmitted diseases.

Sexual intercourse is suppose to be the most intimate and closest form of contact in all senses a human being can have with another person but it has been suppress and cut off.

I wonder why the world population did not drop but ballon up to epic proportion instead in post condom era.

Interesting.

Woodlands86 · December 23, 2014

This article will serve to encourage people to take up safe sex practise or PEP program after reading it.

#Article archive

Now I want to share something about Aids/HIV with you people that mainstream media do not talk about. All they always report is asking people to take their blood tests and do not practise discrimination on HIV/aids patients etc.

But they never tell you about how much you need per month for medicine.

I have a friend who got HIV

5 years ago.

He earn $1800 per month.

When his blood test was tested HIV positive,CDC health workers want to meet him to have a talk with him.

He was scared and he told me about it. So I went together and accompany him to CDC for his interview and counselling session with the health officers there.

I wait at the reception area for 2 hours and he was in there with the healthcare officer.

When he came out he told me this.

When a HIV/aids patient want to start taking medications to control their illness they have to do a blood test to determine what kind of medicines they need to take.

This initial blood test cost around $700-$950.

The monthly HIV medications cost $250-$450 depending on severity and this is a lifelong burden. You have to take medications til the day you die.

Every 2-6 months a HIV/Aids patient have to go through a blood test to assess their health level before the hospital/supplier/doctor can continue to sell them medications.Each blood test cost $300+ per visit.

All these charges are non subsidise rates,if you are unable to afford pay for your medications you have to apply for government financial assistance and the hospital will deduct the charges from your medisave or public pool fund Medifund.

These financial aids does not run forever,they will expire in 6 months time and you have to go and reapply for it every time it expire and have to subjected for approval before you can get your medications and blood tests at subsidise rates.

Yes subsidies rates.

It is not 100% free coverage you still have to pay cash.

In Singapore you have three ways to get your medications.

Either you get it from hospitals/clinics.

Get it from ministry of health approve private civilian sellers.

Or you travel outside of Singapore to Thailand or Malaysia to buy your medications where they are selling it for much cheaper.

My friend was crying when he told me this.

Over the years I read up on this illness and find out more on the local medical protocols and found out three things.

Insurance doesn't cover HIV/Aids coverage.

Countries like France,Africa,Vietnam and Thailand etc provide free or cheap medicines and blood tests for their HIV/Aids positive citizens. Singapore do not.

Singapore PAP government have sign a international agreement call TRIPS with foreign business investors here that protect their business intellectual property patent rights.One of this industry is the pharmaceutical industry,it mean in Singapore because of patent laws a lot of cheaper alternative generic drugs cannot be use or sold here because the government have to protect the business interests/profits of their investors here.

So in the end Singaporeans have to pay expensive price for legitimate original drugs and this place a heavy burden on people wallets.

This TRIPS law not just affect HIV/Aids patients only. Cancers,Renal failure and Diabetes patients are more or less affected too. Go take a look at your hospital medication bills and see what type of medicines they issue you.

This is the reason why healthcare in Malaysia/Cambodia/Thailand etc are cheaper than Singapore because they can dispense alternative/generic drugs to their citizens.

So I finish writing this.

Now you see the seldom mention and unnoticed stark facts on inadequate medical protocols in this country by now.

You might want to save this up and have a look at it from time to time.

Once you got HIV you are as good as dead,not because of the virus but because of the policies.

Remember to tell your husbands/wives/boyfriends/girlfriends not to anyhow fuck around and show them this as a warning and reminder.

December 23, 2014

Once you got HIV you are as good as dead,not because of the virus but because of the policies

Very good article. Id like to addd just 3 more points.

1. Its a bit over-alarmist to say u r "as good as dead". U will certainly hv to spend a great deal of money to stay healthy n so ur quality of life will be severely impacted. Eventually though the patents on the meds will expire and much cheaper alternatives will flood the market.

2. Although we have to assume that those who r HIV+ will need to take meds for their lifetimes, there has already been 30+ years of research on this virus. Sooner or later a vaccine will be discovered. Maybe eventually there will b a cure.

BUT -

3. The really worrying factor is that like all viruses the HIV virus is mutating - but this one is doing so at a far faster rate. The faster a virus mutates, the more it becomes resistant to drug therapy. Hence the need for drug cocktails that change over time. A comparison with the Ebola virus is chilling. Between a 2004 outbreak n the larger one this year, the Ebola virus went through 395 mutations. HIV has been through many more than that.

This from a Dec 2 2014 news report -

(Leading AIDS researcher) Oxford University Professor Phillip Goulder said, “One of the quintessential features of HIV is its ability to mutate and evade the best things we can throw at it, whether its immune responses or antiretroviral drugs. That’s its real strength.”

It may seem fun to play games n enjoy raw sex. Playing games with the HIV virus is a deadly serious one u r unlikely to win!

Edited December 23, 2014 by wozzit

December 23, 2014

I have also come across tops who tried to secretly remove the condom halfway into the fuck. I wonder if it is because they feel more shiok fucking raw or is it because they want to deposit their cum inside the asshole. Bottoms should be wary whenever they sensed that the top's cock is out, because it is likely that the top is trying to remove his condom. This scenario happens more frequently in saunas where the encounter is completely anonymous.

LongCurious · December 23, 2014

I wonder if it is because they feel more shiok fucking raw or is it because they want to deposit their cum inside the asshole.

Raw or cumming inside both feels better than doing it with a condom. So, Both.

Bottoms should be alert if you are in a position where you could not see what the top is doing, at least make sure his hands are seen at all times

One of the safer position, missionary, you can see the condom and where his hands are.

One of the risky position, doggy, well you know how it works.

By having protected/non protected sex, you are taking a risk to catch an STD

By not taking a better stance, you are placing your trust in the top that he wouldnt whip out some ninja moves to catch you off guard, thus increasing your risk again.

Stay safe.

Huckleberry · December 23, 2014

-Worried guy-, is he white ?

December 24, 2014

chances to get infected with aids at 1.4% ?strange! Still remember from a report from Taiwan, where the police raids a sex party at a residential area, about 30 over person, all r forced to test aids, result ? 70% r aids carriers !

December 24, 2014

chances to get infected with aids at 1.4% ?strange! Still remember from a report from Taiwan, where the police raids a sex party at a residential area, about 30 over person, all r forced to test aids, result ? 70% r aids carriers !

Not so surprising I think. That 1.4% is the general worldwide risk for all gays. Most gays r sensible n accept that raw bb sex is a risk they just wont accept n so use condoms. Inevitably the overall worldwide % will be low.

Zoom in on specific countries, cities and places where gay guys meet up for anonymous sex n the % is bound to rocket, especially where there r multiple partners n unprotected sex encounters. That sex party in Taiwan may hv been a regular occurrence n it may have involved either unprotected sex or without changing condoms for each partner – we don't know. If it was, n if it was mostly the same guys each time, n if just one guy was infected when the party idea started, that guy may well hv infected most of the others. I wonder how careful guys r at the private sex parties advertised here on BW and other gay sites?

After all, that's really how HIV spread so disastrously at the start of the 1980s when no one in the gay communities even thought about using condoms. In New York n the US West Coast gay week end n holiday sex parties were quite common. When rare skin cancers n other strange infections started appearing in small groups of gay guys, doctors realised something new n frightening was happening to exclusively gay men. With no drug therapies able to cure them, they started to die after terrible suffering. The world slowly awoke to a new n deadly disease.

Thankfully HIV is now treatable. But so far 39 million r estimated to hv died from AIDS with 1.5 million in 2013 alone.

Edited December 24, 2014 by wozzit

bluerunner · December 24, 2014

I tell u, no matter what is written here, those who do unprotected sex will still continue doing it. Those who are curious and do not have enough of self-control are going to try it.

It's human nature to think he will not be ur "unlucky" one but when he gets it, he starts pointing fingers at everyone except himself.

December 24, 2014

I had several misconceptions about the risk of getting HIV through sexual means. And they contributed to my misjudgment to engage in raw sex.

1. The prevalence of HIV is very low. Not true. First, let me explain how I had this misconception. The number of people with HIV in Singapore who are still alive is 4558. The population aged 18-67 (the age group that I consider sexually active) is 2683300. That means the prevalence of HIV is only a mere 0.170%. They always say HIV is more prevalent in gays. That means the prevalence of HIV in gays would be - even if we assume a prevalence of 10x higher - somewhere around 1-2%. Sounds realistic, right? Wrong! The prevalence of HIV among gays is 18% in the US and 23% in Toronto! That's one in every 4 gays! And this is only considering cases that are reported. Add in those unreported cases, the prevalence would be higher. In the last two years, I have had about 8 raw anal sex. Multiply in the prevalence and that means 2 of those encounters were with a HIV-positive partner!

2. HIV is not infectious during the window period. Not true. How did this misconception come by? Well, because during the window period, you can't even detect if a person has HIV. That means he can't pass it on to someone else. The virus hasn't even have the time to establish itself in the body. Sounds logical, right? Wrong! In fact, HIV is much much more infectious during the window period, the first 6 months, than any other period. There is a window period because the body needs time to produce antibodies against the virus. During this period, the virus is already present in the body, and even worse, a lot of it is present. Without antibodies and the other immune response, the replication of the virus is uninhibited and so it multiplies exponentially. The viral load is 10x more than that during any other period. Within a day of infection, I suspect, the virus could make sufficient copies of itself and hence make the person infectious. So forget about when is the last time your casual sex partner went for HIV test. If he had raw anal sex with someone a day ago, you are vulnerable to HIV. And in a sauna setting, it's common to have sex with 4-5 guys a night. Whether he was tested negative or not becomes irrelevant. If you ever ask your partner when was the last time he get tested, it means you don't get the point and are underestimating the risk.

3. All/most HIV-positive people are responsible and not go to saunas. Not true. I once had a housemate who was HIV positive. And he visited saunas. He didn't tell his sex partners about his HIV status. And if his bottoms want to do raw, he fucks them raw!

4. PEP is 100% effective. Not true. It's about 80% effective. If you have a strain of HIV that is different or mutated, then PEP is not effective.

5. The side effects of PEP are rare and reversible. Not true. They are common and you risk permanent damage to your liver, pancreas, kidneys, blood, etc.

6. I will get an STD before getting HIV. Not true. This misconception comes by because STDs are more prevalent and more contagious than HIV, so it's likely that I will get an STD before getting HIV. That means as long as I don't get an STD, it means my sexual behaviours are safe and I'm not at risk for HIV. This is false. There are many people who are infected with HIV without having had an STD.

7. Only people who engage in frequent high-risk sexual activities are vulnerable to HIV. Not true. Having unprotected sex for just one time is enough to infect you. People who are HIV positive are just like you and me. Nobody plans to be infected with HIV. Many of them, I believe, do not used to have frequent raw sex. They are careful and smart people, too. And they had raw sex once or a few times with people they thought were HIV negative. And the people who infected them might not be aware of their HIV status too.

December 24, 2014