samdiggin Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Just wondering if anyone here has gotten in/is in/was in a relationship with a friend who you gradually fell for. I have some feelings for a friend but I'm unsure how to handle them because I don't want anything to change for the worse in our relationship. Sometimes I feel that there are signals yet after a while, it seems like I'm just overthinking a lot of stuff. Gradually, I also feel that, may it's all just one-sided. So...just want to hear from you guys' similar experiences and how to deal with such a situation.
Guest Guest Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Well, if the feeling's mutual, consider the pros and cons, and then proceed. You know him better than anyone of us here do, so you are the most equipped to make a wise, long-sighted analysis.
samdiggin Posted June 7, 2015 Author Posted June 7, 2015 Hi, is your friend straight or gay?gay. Well, if the feeling's mutual, consider the pros and cons, and then proceed. You know him better than anyone of us here do, so you are the most equipped to make a wise, long-sighted analysis.see, i dont know if its mutual. a lot of times when I think its mutual, i come back down to the reality that I may have overthought about certain signs.
IkuTube Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 I don't want anything to change for the worse I feel that there are signals Has anyone mentioned before to you that you are a perceptive young man? Somehow, I do think that you are. The power of the mind is such that when you think so hard that things can "change for the worse", they naturally happen for the worse. Same is when you change the paradigm (the beliefs, the wants) and things will just flow with opportunity. You are your own captain of your heart. Be open to him and to share your true feelings, IMHO, will not change anything. All that you want, I believe, is to get to know more of him and to be closer. It is in your intent hoping that he understands how you feel and, subsequently, work towards a relationship. Unless, he is feeling sexually threatened, which I don't think you harbour such intention towards him. Find the right time - when the two of you are relaxed and sharing conversation about love, relationship, etc - to confide your true feelings to him. In life, I always believe that we should voice out our inner voice. Of course, those of well-intentioned and good intended ones. Liberate yourself from all the what-ifs and stand up for what you believe. However, do know that what is important to me may not be important to others. Hence, do weigh what would be good for yourself. *Let me live my life to be an instrument of 'Love', in how I speak and in how I see others* - May there be Love and Peace beyond all understanding -
Guest Natasha Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Well, personally I think that developing a relationship out from a friendship is much more better than one that jumps right into one after knowing each other for a few days online or club or what not. But however, it's not easy and there's much considerations to be taken. It depends what you want out of your current thoughts.
snowball Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 ever buy a drink and share with him? just looking at him without a word & see how he react?
darkflame Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 My friend started dating his long time friend after so long.Looks like some things really need time to stew. I'm always running after you. You are my ideal. You are me.
Guest alispenn Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 I have some feelings for a friend but I'm unsure how to handle them because I don't want anything to change for the worse in our relationship. .The instant you had some extra feelings, your relationship with him had already changed, for better or worse.Self-reflect on the Assumptions you have developed of him and the Expectation you have made of him. Why so? Even if you decide not to divulge to him, at least you gain a deeper understanding of yourself.My favorite line is "I've got some extra cash on hand. I need someone to invest them on my behalf."
puppyfart Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 But isn't that how most relationships start... from a friendship?I guess being transparent to your friend would help and if he reciprocates, then at least u have a foundation to continue building.If not, then depending on how emotionally mature the both of you, u can still be friends.Good luck. inamoto, iamziz and mate69 3
Justintan21 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Just tell him honestly lor. Nothing wrong with confessing to someone just to make it known to that person. Wait, maybe gays do thinks its wrong? idk...Just tell him 'hope it wont affect our friendship's relationship' just saying based on my exp between str8 and gay world. Gay world fav sentence 'if its meant to be it will be'. Whatever the outcomes are at least you tried. Lastly, All the best and goodluck. SMILE mate69 1
marc6769 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Just jokingly say we're friends for so long what happened down the road we become a couple and see how he responded and judge from there Lexi82 1
tyan Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 At least your friend is gay. I have fallen for a straight which is even more painful.
Guest Guest Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Go ahead if you really like him. But get ready to loose a friend if it does not turn out well. I think you just ask him lah. If he says no, then accept it and not try anymore.Girls says not when they mean yes. But not gay man lah. I think we are less complicated.
samdiggin Posted June 9, 2015 Author Posted June 9, 2015 thanks so much for the advice guys! Yes i definitely feel that...it's better to start as friends of coz. And personally, I think I felt especially close because the things he share about to me just don't feel like what I would do to a normal friend (BUT this is just my perception) so maybe I'm over-interpreting his actions. I understand that ever since I have felt something different, the friendship is no longer as normal. Time will tell. Honestly, lately I feel rather nonchalant about it, feeling that the way he acts isn't just specifically towards me so there's no point feeling hopelessly hopeful about these so-called signs. :/ ever buy a drink and share with him? just looking at him without a word & see how he react?haha no...but that would be nice LOL
imblue Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I have similar situation with you. However, I don't dare to get into the relationship with my friend because I always thought that he is not ready. When I thought he is ready for a relationship, it turned out that he already just started a relationship with someone. It is really heartwrenching.
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