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[Hiv Support Group] Living A Life Being Hiv+ & Living With Someone Who Is Hiv+ (Compiled)

Guest Sin_Man

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Enelym1978 Apprentice

Enelym1978

Posted
Posted

Go talk to those people at the AFA and they will tell you what to do.


As a foreigner, you cannot seek medical care here for HIV as this means you will need to register and declare your status to the authorities and they will not renew your work permit (not sure about whether they would cancel your current one).

 

You will need to get treatment in either Malaysia or Thailand, these are the closest options. I have friends in this situation. It's not easy but it's not impossible.

 

Please remember to protect yourself to protect others. Even a blowjob can be risky if there is precum and the guy who is sucking you has bleeding gums or a slight opening in his gums....

 

So many people still think having cum in the mouth is not risky... it's not because the risk is smaller than bare fxcking that it's not existing. Safer sex all the time!

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lovehandle
lovehandle

Carpenter try to go for larger blood sample amount instead, rather than just a prick or a brush? and I don't think sickness really affect esp if it s lab-tested These problems are less frequently

Wilaemina
Wilaemina

Dear -afraid-, I first want you to realize that you will not be walking this long walk alone. I'm a healthcare professional and I would sincerely like to take this long walk with you as a friend. I wo

Guest PozD
Guest PozD

Cheer up HIVPOSSG, everything will be good. Go for sports. Some are simple - just do jogging for 3 mins two or three times a week. You will see how this brings up your mood. I was diagnosed 2.5 years

Enelym1978 Apprentice

Enelym1978

Posted
Posted

What do you mean by that? He's positive... there is no cure for AIDS at the moment so his status will remain the same until further discoveries.

 

Meds are here to help people keep their viral load low and control it so that they do not get AIDS (being HIV+ and having AIDS is two different things).

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Goodboy Newbie

Goodboy

Posted
Posted

Ido the test it was positive n they advice me to do bloodtest to mke it sure .the result havent come after two weeks i will know. I just worried to get or renew my contract n ill be jobless.. But im stiil hope that the blood test is negative.. But wat ever the result i will accept. Thats y im asking if some 1 know that they hired same my condition... Wat is the diff from aids to hiv sorry im very confuse.thanks

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Enelym1978 Apprentice

Enelym1978

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Ido the test it was positive n they advice me to do bloodtest to mke it sure .the result havent come after two weeks i will know. I just worried to get or renew my contract n ill be jobless.. But im stiil hope that the blood test is negative.. But wat ever the result i will accept. Thats y im asking if some 1 know that they hired same my condition... Wat is the diff from aids to hiv sorry im very confuse.thanks

 

That's why you should go to the AFA ASAP!! Ask your questions there, they are doctors and trainer personnel who know about all this.

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Iampositive Newbie

Iampositive

Posted
Posted

Dear all,

I am recently diagnosed with HIV, now am waiting to meet the doc for consultation, anybody can advise me on a few questions,

1. Will my family be informed of my positive results? Can I remain anonymous and not disclose my status to anyone?

2. How many more years can I live? Anyone can tell me how long he has survived since he was tested positive?

3. Do you feel tired easily? What side effects will the medication cause?

4. I understand if we pass away, we must be burnt immediately, cannot hold any rituals, is this true?

5. Can I still have a relationship with a HIV negative guy? Cannot have sex even with protection?

Any HIV + guys wanna be friends? I was thinking of forming a group so that we can hang out, do sports, etc together?

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Guest bravo

Guest bravo

Posted
Posted

Ur positive attitude twds ur situation by forming a support grp here to carry out normal activities together is very encouraging !!! :D

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Barti Henderson Newbie

Barti Henderson

Posted
Posted

As long as you're regularly on the medication,having sex with a HIV negative guy is fine.

 

I think that is a factor a lot of HIV negative guys are fearful about in spite of them dating someone they like.

this is total bullshit coming from a person who's nothing but shit.

 

on med regularly only reduce your viral load. does not remove the possibility of infection.

 

as long as you're using a condom, having sex with a hiv negative guy is less risky.

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Iampositive Newbie

Iampositive

Posted
Posted

sorry to hear that 

 

but all your question the doctor nvn ans u?

 

I have yet to meet the doc. The doc that diagnosed me is not a HIV specialist.

 

Ur positive attitude twds ur situation by forming a support grp here to carry out normal activities together is very encouraging !!! :D

It is not the end of the world, everybody has to die one day, I will only be going a little earlier that's all I did not feel sad over it, since I have lived a great life, I die with no regrets. & since there is no turning back, might as well enjoy be happy & if able, help the others who are trying to cope.

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Iampositive Newbie

Iampositive

Posted
Posted

rest assured with today's advancement of technology and healthcare, HIV poz people are known to lead happy normal lives with the proper amount of healthcare.

 

Thks, but I actually do not want to live too long lol.

 

As long as you're regularly on the medication,having sex with a HIV negative guy is fine.

 

I think that is a factor a lot of HIV negative guys are fearful about in spite of them dating someone they like.

 

I don't think that is true, & I believe u are going to harm many guys if u are positive & with that kind of mindset. How can it be safe?

 

this is total bullshit coming from a person who's nothing but shit.

 

on med regularly only reduce your viral load. does not remove the possibility of infection.

I think I rather not have sex with a negative guy, I don't want to risk that & be a sinner. Maybe I should find a hiv+ bf haha.

 

as long as you're using a condom, having sex with a hiv negative guy is less risky.

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Iampositive Newbie

Iampositive

Posted
Posted

this is total bullshit coming from a person who's nothing but shit.

 

on med regularly only reduce your viral load. does not remove the possibility of infection.

 

as long as you're using a condom, having sex with a hiv negative guy is less risky.

I think I rather not have sex with a negative guy, I don't want to risk that & be a sinner. Maybe I should find a hiv+ bf haha.

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PaterTenebrarum Newbie

PaterTenebrarum

Posted
Posted

Iampositive, for now, I think it is useless to think about how you got infected. It is better to think about what you can do now so that you can LIVE with HIV in the future.

For now, go see a dcotor who specialises in infectious diseases. Get your blood work done (yr Cd4 and yr viral load). You can also talk to AfA for advice on how to better manage yr condition.

By taking meds, yr viral load can go down to "undetectable" but this does not mean you are free of the disease.

According to the law, you are supposed to disclose yr HIV status to a potential sex partner before having sex as not doing so is an offence. Im just the messenger, so dont shoot me.

But in the meantime, go see a doctor. The main thing right now is how to control yr condition and address it, ,methinks. You will be fine. :)

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atropine Rookie

atropine

Posted
Posted

That's what they told me at DSC.

 

Believe at your own risk.

 

So much sarcasm for wut. :whistle:

I think you misunderstood what they said. Taking the HAARTs indeed reduces your viral load to a point which is insufficient to infect others. However, all HIV patients develop resistance to these medications over time. You will never know when you develop such resistance as most patients are asymptomatic in the early phase of increased viral load. This is when you will infect others.

You need to tell your partner, and he has to accept the risk.

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Guest Guest

Guest Guest

Posted
Posted

I am not sure & I am not going to investigate, pointless.

 

Iampositive, for now, I think it is useless to think about how you got infected. It is better to think about what you can do now so that you can LIVE with HIV in the future.

 

its not wrong of course, look forward.

 

but try to track back your sexual partners and determine who you might have passed the virus to.

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Guest Guest

Guest Guest

Posted
Posted

As long as you're regularly on the medication,having sex with a HIV negative guy is fine.

 

I think that is a factor a lot of HIV negative guys are fearful about in spite of them dating someone they like.

 

this is total bullshit coming from a person who's nothing but shit.

 

on med regularly only reduce your viral load. does not remove the possibility of infection.

 

as long as you're using a condom, having sex with a hiv negative guy is less risky.

 

 

I don't think that is true, & I believe u are going to harm many guys if u are positive & with that kind of mindset. How can it be safe?

 

That's what they told me at DSC.

 

Believe at your own risk.

 

So much sarcasm for wut. :whistle:

 

to this dude called seannyshortcake, you obviously dunno your stuffs and trying to act like 'know it all'.

 

if you dunno and not sure, pls dun comment.

 

your comment could have harmed anyone reading it from any part of the world and believing it.

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Guest correction

Guest correction

Posted
Posted

@Seannyshortcake and whoever else who may be confused

1. Undetectable viral load in blood DOES NOT mean undetectable in semen. 1 in 20 men with undetectable VL has a detectable level of HIV in semen that could infect. Conclusion: Use condoms AT ALL TIMES ( http://www.thebodypro.com/content/68538/hiv-can-be-found-in-semen-even-when-viral-load-is-.html )

 

2. Legally, you are required to inform your partner of your status if you intend to have sex with him/her. You are also required even if you have not tested positive, yet may have reason to suspect so (e.g. high risk activities) ( http://www.moh.gov.sg/content/moh_web/home/statistics/infectiousDiseasesStatistics/HIV_Stats.html )

 

3. HIV is NOT a death sentence. My advice is, GET ON HIV MEDS ASAP. Doing so lowers your 'permanent' HIV reservoir and may potentially enable you to access 'functional cures' being developed currently. My personal experience on HAART is, the side effects are really minimal. The effects of HIV multiplying through your body and destroying your CD4 cells are far worst. ( http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-21783945 ) 

 

4. I don't understand the advice to 'forgive and forget' about the person who infected you. Yes, your priority should be learning as much as you can on how to cope. But it is also your ethical responsibility to report him especially if he did so maliciously, and deliberately. You were an innocent victim, this is your avenue of recourse the law provides. Also, imagine how many more innocent lives will be harmed by that criminal. This is what laws are for, to protect the people. It is because of such selfish behavior that HIV runs so rampant in our community. 

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Enelym1978 Apprentice

Enelym1978

Posted
Posted

track back were u involve in orgy and raw sex?or even u use condom u got Hiv.

That's somehow irrelevant at this point. What you need to do first is take care of yourself and get meds and a professional follow up.

If you do manage to remember where or how you got infected then you must inform that person(s). Put aside the hate you might have against him as, obviously, something silly has been made, you (both) engaged in non protected sex. Or you might have engaged protected sex and still got infected orally or because the condom broke, etc...

The important thing is to stop the spread of the disease. How many guys do really know their status? They all claim they are negative but never got tested or got tested more than 3 months ago.

Always have safer sex!

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Enelym1978 Apprentice

Enelym1978

Posted
Posted

And stop reading advices from sites like these. Get some more professional and serious sites where the information comes from medical sources. Not "hear say" or "I believe that".

As it was said earlier, being positive today is not a death sentence anymore if you are taken care of appropriately.

Courage and hang in there.

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azimuth Newbie

azimuth

Posted
Posted

I am not sure & I am not going to investigate, pointless.

 

 

I agree. Most important now is to take good care of yourself. Life still goes on. 

 

Nonetheless, I was told that MOH will do the contact tracing once they know of your status from the doctor. 

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SeannyShortcake Newbie

SeannyShortcake

Posted
Posted

I am not trying to be sarcastic but it's common sense there will be a risk involved, so why risk other people's life for yr own happiness & enjoyment?

 

I'm relaying information passed to me by a staff then.

 

I tested neg and she told me this afterward.

 

Of course I know nothing,that's why I'm sharing what someone who is qualified to do told me.

 

I'm not advocating sex with Poz guys.

They can well be sex starved for all I care ^_^

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azimuth Newbie

azimuth

Posted
Posted

I'm relaying information passed to me by a staff then.

 

I tested neg and she told me this afterward.

 

Of course I know nothing,that's why I'm sharing what someone who is qualified to do told me.

 

I'm not advocating sex with Poz guys.

They can well be sex starved for all I care ^_^

 

I guess it is lower risk when condoms are used during sex with a HIV positive person on medication. It is probably hard to qualify it as no risk.

 

It is up to the HIV-negative person to judge if this risk is worth taking a not. :-)

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Walking Dead Newbie

Walking Dead

Posted
Posted

Dear all,

I am recently diagnosed with HIV, now am waiting to meet the doc for consultation, anybody can advise me on a few questions,

1. Will my family be informed of my positive results? Can I remain anonymous and not disclose my status to anyone?

2. How many more years can I live? Anyone can tell me how long he has survived since he was tested positive?

3. Do you feel tired easily? What side effects will the medication cause?

4. I understand if we pass away, we must be burnt immediately, cannot hold any rituals, is this true?

5. Can I still have a relationship with a HIV negative guy? Cannot have sex even with protection?

Any HIV + guys wanna be friends? I was thinking of forming a group so that we can hang out, do sports, etc together?

 

Hi, I'll try to answer some of your questions based on what I know.

1. Your family will not be informed, unless you're married. If so they will inform your spouse. Yes, you will remain anonymous and your status will not reveal to anyone. Only the medical practioner(s) treating you will know in theory, or CDC if you're registered to seek treatment in SG.

 

2. If you take the medication and stay healthy, it can be a rather long time. I remember reading some articles where the people were infected in the late 80s I think, and they are still alive and healthy.

 

3. I don't feel tired easily now. Think at one time I had some symptoms of tiredness, now not so much. Side effects depend on the individual as well as the type of medication you are on. The list is rather long so I would think it's better for the doctor to advise you regarding this.

 

4. No idea on this. I just know that the govt will deregister HIV patients from the organ transplant act if they are registered with CDC. No blood donations too

 

5. Highly debated topic, in theory yes but there is always a possibility of infecting your partner even with safe sex.

 

Take care now and all the best for your treatment ! :)

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Iampositive Newbie

Iampositive

Posted
Posted

Hi, I'll try to answer some of your questions based on what I know.

1. Your family will not be informed, unless you're married. If so they will inform your spouse. Yes, you will remain anonymous and your status will not reveal to anyone. Only the medical practioner(s) treating you will know in theory, or CDC if you're registered to seek treatment in SG.

 

2. If you take the medication and stay healthy, it can be a rather long time. I remember reading some articles where the people were infected in the late 80s I think, and they are still alive and healthy.

 

3. I don't feel tired easily now. Think at one time I had some symptoms of tiredness, now not so much. Side effects depend on the individual as well as the type of medication you are on. The list is rather long so I would think it's better for the doctor to advise you regarding this.

 

4. No idea on this. I just know that the govt will deregister HIV patients from the organ transplant act if they are registered with CDC. No blood donations too

 

5. Highly debated topic, in theory yes but there is always a possibility of infecting your partner even with safe sex.

 

Take care now and all the best for your treatment ! :)

Thks Walking Dead, dun really wish to call u that as hiv patients, we are not walking dead. I shall call u walking proud lol :) hey hope u are nt offended. Don't worry, I will be the most cheerful hiv+ boy u ever seen, I have accepted the fact even before I was diagnosed, prepare for the worst. And the fact that I do not want to live so long helps too haha :D

I was just wondering if any hiv+ guys want to befriend me, I will hope to form a support cum social grp, maybe I can find my Mr Right too since I do not wish to find a hiv- bf & have that risk of infecting him. Btw I am nt bad looking though lol, ok la enough of my craps, do let me know if any of u are keen on forming a grp :) I actually do this as I do nt wish to disclose my status to my family & friends, so hope to know new friends who knew abt my status & can accept this sick boy :)

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Guest correction2

Guest correction2

Posted
Posted

@Enelmy1978

The sources quoted are all medical literature + facts :) 

Having consensual unprotected sex is merely a mistake and not a crime. On the other hand, deliberately infecting someone with HIV is a crime. You are implying that just because it was a consensual unprotected sex, you are consenting to getting infected with HIV. That just because you committed a mistake in judgement, you deserve to be a victim of crime?

 

Analogy: You have been warned that using that dark alley shortcut (having raw sex) may be dangerous (STDs). But one day you do it because you were late (horny), and if you were robbed (infected by HIV deliberately) it is your fault anyway because you chose to use that path? (consented to raw sex)

 

This is a really irresponsible advise that is being dished out...

Would love to hear your response to my above point 4.

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Enelym1978 Apprentice

Enelym1978

Posted
Posted

@Enelmy1978

The sources quoted are all medical literature + facts :)

Having consensual unprotected sex is merely a mistake and not a crime. On the other hand, deliberately infecting someone with HIV is a crime. You are implying that just because it was a consensual unprotected sex, you are consenting to getting infected with HIV. That just because you committed a mistake in judgement, you deserve to be a victim of crime?

Analogy: You have been warned that using that dark alley shortcut (having raw sex) may be dangerous (STDs). But one day you do it because you were late (horny), and if you were robbed (infected by HIV deliberately) it is your fault anyway because you chose to use that path? (consented to raw sex)

This is a really irresponsible advise that is being dished out...

Would love to hear your response to my above point 4.

Wait a minute. Where did I say that having consensual unprotected sex was a crime? Maybe I said something in a way that implied this but it is certainly not what I meant.

Having consensual unprotected sex does have it's risk and everybody should know those risks.

I have friends who are positive and it's never "nice" to one day learn that you are positive.

I did not say that you are consenting to getting infected. I'm saying that you should not have unprotected sex.

Lots of people have unprotected sex and I'm guilty as well. We almost all had out moments where we wanted to do it raw. Do we always bear in mind the consequences that this simple act might bring? No. We always think: oh it's just this once, I can't be that unlucky.

I had monogamous relationships with partners for over 3 years and I did have unprotected sex with them, based on trust. Nothing guarantees me anything though. Except that we would go get tested every 3 months.

I'm not saying what is being said here is wrong. But there are a lot of biased or misinformation. So why not go straight to a reliable source (AIDS associations for example).

I never said I was an expert in this field.

People who get infected feel guilty enough already for being infected.

Again, my main point is: fuck responsibly. Protect yourself. Being horny; running out of condom is not an excuse to go raw. It's your health we are talking about.

Not sure what your point 4 is by the way. Didn't see your guest account posting earlier...

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Guest Guest

Guest Guest

Posted
Posted

4. I understand if we pass away, we must be burnt immediately, cannot hold any rituals, is this true?

 

Think this is true if you are single, people cannot "pai" you.

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keyboard Proficient

keyboard

Posted
Posted

http://www.chinaculture.org/gb/en_chinaway/2004-03/03/content_46092.htm

 

According to Chinese custom, an elder should never show respect to someone younger. So, if the deceased is a young bachelor, for example, his body cannot be brought home and must remain at the funeral parlor. His parents cannot offer prayers to their son, either: Since he was unmarried, he did not have any children to whom he could perform these same rites. (This is why the body cannot come into the family home.) If an infant or child dies, no funeral rites are performed either since respect cannot be shown to a younger person. The child is thus buried in silence.

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Iampositive Newbie

Iampositive

Posted
Posted

we are more interested to know  since u got hiv is not from sex than from where?food?

Is it so interesting? I already said I am not talking about it now, why are u so persistent?

http://www.chinaculture.org/gb/en_chinaway/2004-03/03/content_46092.htm

 

According to Chinese custom, an elder should never show respect to someone younger. So, if the deceased is a young bachelor, for example, his body cannot be brought home and must remain at the funeral parlor. His parents cannot offer prayers to their son, either: Since he was unmarried, he did not have any children to whom he could perform these same rites. (This is why the body cannot come into the family home.) If an infant or child dies, no funeral rites are performed either since respect cannot be shown to a younger person. The child is thus buried in silence.

Thks Keyboard, my concern is not about the religion, but I heard before it is coz HIV+ human cannot be exposed to the environment for too long once dead, so must faster be cremated, not sure is it that the virus might spread or something like that?

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