nickelback Posted June 20, 2016 Report Share Posted June 20, 2016 I was wondering how a perfect life for a gay couple will be like. Although, we can only dream of a future where lgbt are accepted, why not envision it and share how we would like it to be? For me it will be nice if my future bf and i can own a sustainable business together. Living together or apart doesn't really matter as long as we have our own privacy and space, but if we are going to form a family unit then ideally we will have to stay together even though I feel a child still needs a male and female role model to look up to and talk to if there is a need to discuss matters of the heart. It will be nice if we are able to sustain the relationship without any third parties involved too, and once in a while look into to garden and feel satisfied about living a good life. Having said that, I noticed some friends of mine unable to break from a promiscuous lifestyle... so do you think dreaming about what could be in the future impact your way of living now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fatty Posted June 20, 2016 Report Share Posted June 20, 2016 55 minutes ago, nickelback said: I was wondering how a perfect life for a gay couple will be like. Although, we can only dream of a future where lgbt are accepted, why not envision it and share how we would like it to be? For me it will be nice if my future bf and i can own a sustainable business together. Living together or apart doesn't really matter as long as we have our own privacy and space, but if we are going to form a family unit then ideally we will have to stay together even though I feel a child still needs a male and female role model to look up to and talk to if there is a need to discuss matters of the heart. It will be nice if we are able to sustain the relationship without any third parties involved too, and once in a while look into to garden and feel satisfied about living a good life. Having said that, I noticed some friends of mine unable to break from a promiscuous lifestyle... so do you think dreaming about what could be in the future impact your way of living now? No need to think too much. Both will be cheating on each other on the 3rd year together and head for splitville by the 5th. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doncoin Posted June 20, 2016 Report Share Posted June 20, 2016 I think for too long, being gay means being on the fence of society. However with LGBT acceptance on the rise, we no longer have to be on the fringe. We no longer need to be just in gay only establishments but mainstream like everyone else. Well if you want to create a "perfect" life, which really does not exist, you need to put a lot of work and effort into making it real. mate69 1 Love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MalayGuy1975 Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 2 hours ago, Guest Fatty said: No need to think too much. Both will be cheating on each other on the 3rd year together and head for splitville by the 5th. Totally agree. Mine cheated on me at 3rd year. And left me for fresher, wealthier meat at 5th year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyglobe Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 3rd year very lucky already....u haven't kena 3rd week or 3rd month one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fairy Tales Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 The prince and the prince live happily ever after. --- The End ---- fab 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ener Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 4 hours ago, Guest Fatty said: No need to think too much. Both will be cheating on each other on the 3rd year together and head for splitville by the 5th. Poor thing... u must have had alot of 5th years...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 Sometimes I think that we have been marginalised so much that we now think of ourselves as an entirely different species all together. Let's go back to the basics, shall we? Any issues that we face as gays are not much different than those face by the straights because we are all human beings, OK? The only "advantage" (or more likely "disadvantage") is the fact that straights have wedding vows which ties them together LEGALLY even when emotional bonds disintegrate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeowPrince Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 Anyone who imagines (yes, imagination) there is such a thing as "perfect", you are not ready for a relationship. Please grow up, or remain in your fantasy. Every honest couple will tell you there has been, and will continue to be, road bumps along the way. Disagreements big or small, aching moments when either party goes through a tough patch, jealousy moments when one sees the other with what seems like a cheating moment, periods of money concerns or asset concerns (flat, renov, his things vs your things) etc. Even with a pre-nup contract, there'll still be things you miss! What is possible, on the other hand, is a happy life. One that accepts hiccups and less-pleasant moments as part of life. My bf and I have had our fair share of hiccups over the last 4+ years, even on our recent "honeymoon" trip! And all it shows is the strength of the relationship and the maturity of both parties. Sure, the sour faces will appear. But do you, will you, resolve it and make the next time better, or do you just throw each other aside? Is your relationship built on SEX, or is it built on LOVE (oh yes, there is a big difference), or worse off - is it built only on physical infatuation? Its not the age gap, mind you, for I know some couples of stark age gaps far wider than my own. Its not the sex, as I know of a couple that does no more than mutual handjobs (shocking but true). Its not the money, either. It is however, the love each has for the other, the acceptance of the other's shortcomings and a willingness to put up with it out of love. Perfection, not the least. Love, something far far harder to define or grasp. Good luck to finding it. Arkham and Bern 2 Instagram @the_meowprince Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dreams Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 7 hours ago, nickelback said: I was wondering how a perfect life for a gay couple will be like? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickelback Posted June 21, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 Sometimes we just need to escape the reality and imagine the kind of life we can have because the reality is harsh. Many times, we become disappointed and compromised and settled for the next best thing that comes along. We reasoned and rationalised - "this is just how guys are", "it is okay to be promiscuous", "we live in a superficial society so we shall live by that standard", etc. Reality is harsh but life is what we make of it, so we dream to bridge the gap or just to let lose ourselves in the imagination. After all, there is nothing wrong with thinking or fantasising about the perfect life and be less jaded about life once in a while. Reality bites and we mature but it shouldn't let it take away our positivity in life nor the ability to dream. Just because we dream does not mean we will be dissatisfied in life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fatty Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 2 hours ago, Guest Guest said: Sometimes I think that we have been marginalised so much that we now think of ourselves as an entirely different species all together. Let's go back to the basics, shall we? Any issues that we face as gays are not much different than those face by the straights because we are all human beings, OK? The only "advantage" (or more likely "disadvantage") is the fact that straights have wedding vows which ties them together LEGALLY even when emotional bonds disintegrate. Straight couple stay together because they have kids obligations and men will get pawned by Women Charter if he ditches his wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 i wonder if there is a perfect life as a heterosexual couple ??????? Just be practica pleasel. In any LTR or marriages there are bound to be high and low tides in their lives together. You need to adapt to each other's idiosyncrasies and learn how to cope with them. I am in a LTR for a couple of years now and am happy with my life even though my chubby darling and me are many years in age gap. We do fight occasionally but that does not separate us. Yet the occasional turmoils bond us even better after we mellow down. We had sex only once a while but the the frequent warmness of a good cuddle, outings, holding of hands and kisses are more then compensate for it. This is what i called LOVE and we are happy that we found one another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hairy springroll Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 Least expectations is the best lesser hurt and disappointment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest :-( Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 Mine is very simple and hopefully my bf shares the same thoughts Living together in a simple 3room flat: 1 room for bedtime, the other for recreational ps games and movies Travel once a year to a cold snowy country No quarrels, no 3rd party and happily living till death do us apart nickelback 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MalayGuy1975 Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 17 minutes ago, Guest :-( said: Mine is very simple and hopefully my bf shares the same thoughts Living together in a simple 3room flat: 1 room for bedtime, the other for recreational ps games and movies Travel once a year to a cold snowy country No quarrels, no 3rd party and happily living till death do us apart Then you're one of the lucky few. I bought a flat for my BF and me. He dumps me for younger, fresher and wealthier meat. Sigh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ener Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 16 minutes ago, MalayGuy1975 said: Then you're one of the lucky few. I bought a flat for my BF and me. He dumps me for younger, fresher and wealthier meat. Sigh. It wasn't meant to be then. Cheer up, lots of fishes in the sea. You probably find a younger, fresher and wealthier meat then he is.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest :-( Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 51 minutes ago, MalayGuy1975 said: Then you're one of the lucky few. I bought a flat for my BF and me. He dumps me for younger, fresher and wealthier meat. Sigh. Don't sad la. Some people actually regret breaking up a relationship years down the road. Just go out and look for better men out there. Sometimes envy singles, no worries on restriction to drink at clubs or pubs. Ons also no guilt. Me haven't gone to any night scenes after attached. I also hope my bf super wealthy can buy us both a flat, then no need to work and can feed me everyday till I died. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Happy Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 There is such a thing as a soulmate and finding "the one". I would know but yes pls listen to all those lao Jiaos out there. It takes a lot of work care and dedication to make a good relationship flourish ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest :O! Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 5 hours ago, Guest :-( said: Mine is very simple and hopefully my bf shares the same thoughts Living together in a simple 3room flat: 1 room for bedtime, the other for recreational ps games and movies Travel once a year to a cold snowy country No quarrels, no 3rd party and happily living till death do us apart No third party rule abit hard to enforce lol. I actively compare cute boys with my bf. Just treat those as toys for your partner to enjoy lo. At the end of the day his heart still belongs to u :$ . No quarrels also hard. been attached 5 years and there is bound to be small arguments . Nothing to force a breakup though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GreatestGift Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 I do not believe in perfection maybe almost perfect is. Yes, I have found this almost perfect as a gay couple despite ups and downs as most other couples, I don't believe there is no quarrels, etc. So we live life to the fullest and treasure what we have got. Joshterran 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ejd Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 No 3rd party is possible la. Just because it's not immediately obvious doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doncoin Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 Instead of whining, take a minute and figure out what you want in a relationship. What you are willing to compromise, and what you are willing to settle for. Enter into a relationship with a clear mind and communicate your needs etc. to your significant other. Relationship takes a lot of work. It does not just happen. Happily ever after requires effort to make it come true, and through. There will be bumps along the way. You will argue, fight, but know that in the long run, both of you are in it together. As for cheating, here is the thing. Your bf, needs to be the guy who makes your heart beat faster whenever you see him. He should be the guy that makes your dick hard thinking about him. If your bf does this 2 things to you, there is no need to cheat. Sex between a couple, even after years together can be amazing if both of you make an effort. Stay in shape. Put on sexy underwear. Explore new stuff together... if you keep doing the same stuff in the bedroom, obviously both of you will get bored with each other. So put in work and effort. knight 1 Love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Couple Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 I‘ve been in a relationship for more than ten years， naturally as time goes by sex is only a secondary matter and companionship is being the primary for us. We do not have anal sex only kissing， touching and masturbate. During sex I don‘t know or care who‘s in my bf fantasy to get his dick up and I honestly like to imagine a hot str8 man with a nice buttock pounding a pussy to get my dick up and make me cum faster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doncoin Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 10 minutes ago, Guest Couple said: I‘ve been in a relationship for more than ten years， naturally as time goes by sex is only a secondary matter and companionship is being the primary for us. We do not have anal sex only kissing， touching and masturbate. During sex I don‘t know or care who‘s in my bf fantasy to get his dick up and I honestly like to imagine a hot str8 man with a nice buttock pounding a pussy to get my dick up and make me cum faster. Sounds like you can't wait for sex to be over with your man. Love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Couple Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 12 minutes ago, doncoin said: Sounds like you can't wait for sex to be over with your man. Well, so far no complain from him why I rush the sex, lol. As I get older, to me sex is a waste of time and energy, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doncoin Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 7 minutes ago, Guest Couple said: Well, so far no complain from him why I rush the sex, lol. As I get older, to me sex is a waste of time and energy, lol. Sex is more like a marathon than a 100m sprint for my bf and I Well, yes, sometimes it does take too much time, but I am not complaining. Everything else can wait. Love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sad Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 What a depressing thread The perfect life would be like my straight parents, still so in love with each other after 50 over years of marriage... very envious of them yet at the same time feel sad about the lonliness which I know will come as I get older. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickelback Posted June 22, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 22, 2016 wouldn't it be nice to bring your hubby during cny and intro and play mahjong with everyone in the family? Really hope that will come true instead of hiding the relationship as if it is a really bad thing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hddn Posted June 22, 2016 Report Share Posted June 22, 2016 10 minutes ago, nickelback said: wouldn't it be nice to bring your hubby during cny and intro and play mahjong with everyone in the family? Really hope that will come true instead of hiding the relationship as if it is a really bad thing... I agree with you, and I to a certain extent reasonate with your first post as well. I just hope to find someone I love and who loves me in return, and we'd live a happy life - just the two of us, no drama or whatsoever like a lot of what we see. I would like health and stability for the both of us, but without things getting too dull. And I may even want children as well, who knows. But I understand that an ideal life doesn't really exist, like how there is no perfect man in this world. Doesn't mean we should give up chasing happiness altogether. A fufilling, meaningful, and overall happy/worth it life is still possible. No effort, no gain, right? Relationships (friendships, romance) are no different. Joshterran, nickelback and mate69 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2016 Report Share Posted June 22, 2016 perfect life for gay couple , need to stay in a condo, work in a executive post wearing ties ,eat at restaurant,wear couple t -shirts .,go holiday 2 times a year,lastly visit plastic surgeon for botox yearly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoyo74 Posted June 22, 2016 Report Share Posted June 22, 2016 On 6/21/2016 at 10:46 AM, Guest Guest said: Sometimes I think that we have been marginalised so much that we now think of ourselves as an entirely different species all together. Let's go back to the basics, shall we? Any issues that we face as gays are not much different than those face by the straights because we are all human beings, OK? The only "advantage" (or more likely "disadvantage") is the fact that straights have wedding vows which ties them together LEGALLY even when emotional bonds disintegrate. The advantage turns into disadvantage when the husband cannot stand the wife and divorce and still had to pay to feed the wife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickelback Posted June 22, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 22, 2016 4 hours ago, Guest Hddn said: I agree with you, and I to a certain extent reasonate with your first post as well. I just hope to find someone I love and who loves me in return, and we'd live a happy life - just the two of us, no drama or whatsoever like a lot of what we see. I would like health and stability for the both of us, but without things getting too dull. And I may even want children as well, who knows. But I understand that an ideal life doesn't really exist, like how there is no perfect man in this world. Doesn't mean we should give up chasing happiness altogether. A fufilling, meaningful, and overall happy/worth it life is still possible. No effort, no gain, right? Relationships (friendships, romance) are no different. That's like relationship goals right? haha. Nothing is perfect, but if you don't try you will never know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickelback Posted June 22, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 22, 2016 59 minutes ago, yoyo74 said: The advantage turns into disadvantage when the husband cannot stand the wife and divorce and still had to pay to feed the wife Cannot imagine who needs to pay if a gay marriage ends in a divorce... the top pay for the btm? kinda funny actually Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoyo74 Posted June 22, 2016 Report Share Posted June 22, 2016 Just now, nickelback said: Cannot imagine who needs to pay if a gay marriage ends in a divorce... the top pay for the btm? kinda funny actually Gay marriage not allow in singapore and no laws to it so if a gay couple breaks off, nobody will be at disadvantage position Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickelback Posted June 22, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 22, 2016 1 minute ago, yoyo74 said: Gay marriage not allow in singapore and no laws to it so if a gay couple breaks off, nobody will be at disadvantage position ya but can still discuss about it right. don't tell me you don't fantasise about that cute guy in your office just because he's str? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doncoin Posted June 22, 2016 Report Share Posted June 22, 2016 8 hours ago, nickelback said: wouldn't it be nice to bring your hubby during cny and intro and play mahjong with everyone in the family? Really hope that will come true instead of hiding the relationship as if it is a really bad thing... Seriously, it is your choice and decision to make your relationship open or make it a secret. To be honest, the decision lies with you, not your family or relatives. By hiding, they are the ones making the decision for you. It can come true, if you make it come true. nickelback 1 Love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickelback Posted June 22, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 22, 2016 17 minutes ago, doncoin said: Seriously, it is your choice and decision to make your relationship open or make it a secret. To be honest, the decision lies with you, not your family or relatives. By hiding, they are the ones making the decision for you. It can come true, if you make it come true. True, so what's your relationship goals? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doncoin Posted June 22, 2016 Report Share Posted June 22, 2016 3 minutes ago, nickelback said: True, so what's your relationship goals? Who me? Love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doncoin Posted June 22, 2016 Report Share Posted June 22, 2016 3 minutes ago, nickelback said: True, so what's your relationship goals? Who me? Love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickelback Posted June 22, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 22, 2016 2 minutes ago, doncoin said: Who me? yup Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doncoin Posted June 22, 2016 Report Share Posted June 22, 2016 38 minutes ago, nickelback said: True, so what's your relationship goals? 31 minutes ago, nickelback said: yup I have more or less met my relationship goals. Family met my significant other a few years ago. Pressure for us to get married since it became legal. My family don't think of anything much about me being gay. I came out in the early 2000s, never had to hide about who i am. if you cannot deal with me being gay, that is not my problem. Of course, I had apprehension with family acceptance, but it is gamble I had to take. nickelback 1 Love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickelback Posted June 22, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 22, 2016 Just now, doncoin said: I have more or less met my relationship goals. Family met my significant other a few years ago. Pressure for us to get married since it became legal. My family don't think of anything much about me being gay. I came out in the early 2000s, never had to hide about who i am. if you cannot deal with me being gay, that is not my problem. Of course, I had apprehension with family acceptance, but it is gamble I had to take. any thought abt starting a family? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doncoin Posted June 22, 2016 Report Share Posted June 22, 2016 43 minutes ago, nickelback said: 2 minutes ago, nickelback said: any thought abt starting a family? if we can afford it. It costs a lot to raise a child. Love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SargeX Posted June 23, 2016 Report Share Posted June 23, 2016 Maybe you should take inspiration from Dan Savage. That may work for some. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doncoin Posted June 23, 2016 Report Share Posted June 23, 2016 7 minutes ago, SargeX said: Maybe you should take inspiration from Dan Savage. That may work for some. I mean it may. We shall see. My only concern is becoming one of those 60+ year old dads at college graduation, and everyone thinking that is my grandchild. Love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SargeX Posted June 23, 2016 Report Share Posted June 23, 2016 6 minutes ago, doncoin said: I mean it may. We shall see. My only concern is becoming one of those 60+ year old dads at college graduation, and everyone thinking that is my grandchild. Well there is that. if it were me, I'll probably analyze what having a child would mean. If I feel ill be a good parent, then I'll try to push the negatives aside. That said, in this point in my life, I'll probably just get a dog. It isn't as fulfilling but it's still pretty awesome. Just too many things to consider - one of which you mentioned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doncoin Posted June 23, 2016 Report Share Posted June 23, 2016 12 minutes ago, SargeX said: Well there is that. if it were me, I'll probably analyze what having a child would mean. If I feel ill be a good parent, then I'll try to push the negatives aside. That said, in this point in my life, I'll probably just get a dog. It isn't as fulfilling but it's still pretty awesome. Just too many things to consider - one of which you mentioned. Yup. Dogs are great substitutes mate69 and SargeX 2 Love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fatty Posted June 23, 2016 Report Share Posted June 23, 2016 Adopt a child so next time he can look after you when you are old and sick. This is like buying insurance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoyo74 Posted June 24, 2016 Report Share Posted June 24, 2016 19 hours ago, Guest Fatty said: Adopt a child so next time he can look after you when you are old and sick. This is like buying insurance. Not all children will be willing to look after you when you old and sick even straight couple cant depend 100% on their children as different children have different personality. If your children is born good than you are lucky but if your children is born greedy and selfish than you will be cursed all your life. MalayGuy1975 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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