silverguy

I have always avoid psychiatric as I think I do not want to depend on medication. But thanks, I think that has to be one of the options now

For the 30 years, I seem to be suffering from perpetual depression, once every few months. Over the years, I have seen a few counsellors but it does not help. I just wonder when will be the time that I will just …

Anyone of you suffer from depression due to mid-life crisis? At 35, I was running my own tech consultancy business for nearly 10 years. As I am not ambitious, half of the time I was not working & was hoping to do long term retirement. Problem is, I can’t find anything which I am passionate about to fill up the free time. Eventually, after the 10 years, due to a change in the industry, I decided to return to employment so as to up skill myself via the corporate route. Then another problem surfaced; I realised though I am a high performer at work, I no longer can see eye-to-eye with my bosses as they are also employees in those companies. Many times, decisions are made not for logical business reasons but fear of losing their jobs. Another challenge is, as I aged, I am no longer able to be the high performer whom I used to be. Most of my jobs lasted no longer than 5 months. And each time when I could not feel fitted into the environment, I tend to sink into a depression. I tried seeking counseling help but could not find an answer. I even went for andropause test & the results turn out negative. 2 years back, I took a 1.5 years break. The lack of purpose sinked me into another depression. I constantly felt like crying & the thought of death constantly came to my mind. I returned to corporate world 5 months ago; had a great job, great pay & good work life balance. Initially, the depression went away. But now, the 5 months cycle of frustration & depression is surfacing again & I am at a loss of what to do.

Thanks @keyboard& @FattChoy for the suggestion & empathy. My mom is very strong headed & she is not into animals. Thankfully, being the youngest but also as the head of the family, I am still a pretty rationale person & is not too affected by these ‘games’. I just want to share to let TS be aware that in every situation, there is a need to assess how genuine is the issue before being caught up in the guilt trap.

My mom also said she wants to die. That makes me very sad & once I nearly cried in front of her. She continues to say that very frequently. Fast forward, 30 years. Again she said the same thing. Doctors & psychologists all advised my siblings & myself that my mom is in depression & we need to constantly monitor & talk to her (give her the attention). I told them, that is her way of getting attention (I stop short of saying it is an emotional blackmail of she getting what she wants - self pity, attention etc). Fast forward, another 10 years. She is still saying the same thing. My family provides whatever time & material comfort we can afford to give her. She refuse to socialise with other people other than her own children. She acts like a drowning person who is ready to grab whoever one of us who goes near her. My personal opinion: I love my mom. But just like many gay mothers, she is a master of emotional manipulation. All of us are adults & have a choice. Today if she decides to end her life, I will be sad but I will respect her decision.

Silence is a very loud answer

Thanks @InBangkok for your kind inputs. Yes, I have done my research and the breakeven point is on the 5th year, which I am fine with it. Thanks @FIRE2020. I do share your views about investment being one of the strategies to generate passive income for retirement. I pickup my investment/trading skills under Adam Khoo, which I find it to be suitable for my personality. As for investment in REITS, it used to be one of my options for consideration. However, since the pandemic, with many companies planning to allow their staff to work from home in the long run, I am still assessing the impact on the demand for commercial properties. So in summary on how I intend to manage my housing loan funds, it looks like apart from insurance plan I have in mind, another option will be to part the it in a low risk and stable fund/ETF. Thanks again guys!

Hi, I have an outstanding housing loan and would like to get some perspective from fellow members/gurus here on my planned repayment strategy. Current situation: - Retiree without official income - CPF OA account has been emptied to pay off part of the housing loan - Have outstanding housing loan (let's say $1mil - actual amount is much lesser) - If continue monthly repayment, the loan can be repaid in 20 years time - Have sufficient funds to do a full redemption of the loan as well as retirement Though I can do a full repayment of the loan, I am thinking of using it to buy an insurance endowment plan where if I put in a lump sum, after 5 years, the plan will give me a monthly payout which can match or more than cover the monthly loan repayment. I think this is a good strategy because: 1) Via monthly loan repayment, it will only be repaid in another 20 years. The insurance will give me a monthly payout (will start 5 years after the plan is bought) for 20 years, meaning I will enjoy extra 5 years of payout even after the loan has been fully paid 2) At the end of 20 years payment by the endowment plan, it still has a lump sum value which can be added into my retirement funds 3) As I am a retiree and do not have any income, for whatever reason if I need any extra cash (which I hope it will never happen), I can still surrender the policy and get back some cash. I think this is an easier option as compared to trying to get a loan from bank when I do not have an income to support my credentials 4) In the event of death, the endowment plan also comes with additional 5% payout on top of the principal sum Do you all think is a good strategy or there are some oversight on my part? Appreciate your valuable inputs. PS: I have spoken to financial planners but as they hope I will buy the plan from them, as expected, they have said it is a good strategy.

Subscribed for a 3-months package (without nutrition). & just started on day 2. Hope to see some results on a weekly or fortnightly basis 😜

I am right now a house husband. Based on past experience & my personality, I can only do it for up to around 2 years. I am those if I don’t keep myself busy & useful, I will fall into depression ;p

If you want something new to happen in your life, you need to do something new which you have never done it before (eg; start attending investment seminars/classes, switch your job, start the act) By the way, if you are working a 9-5 job in Singapore & you are not prepared o let go of that ‘security’, you are most likely to be always ‘money not enough’.

Not trying to defend any country like Singapore. But if anyone feels that another country is better than his home country, he should just find a job in that country, earn the local currency & maybe even give up his current citizenship for that country. That’s all about chasing happiness instead of just complaining or speaking from afar.

Regardless of str8 or gay, after being attached, that does not exempt you from finding other people attractive. Main point is, what is responsible behavior towards your boy friend?

Thanks Orange. I never would have thought I could come out of the ordeal alive, but I did

I briefly watched it as my partner is a fan of K drama. Yes, I can attest to it that one can be allergic to human beings. When a person’s immunity is extremely low & his sentivity increases, you can literally sense microbes & pathogens which are invisible to the eyes. I suffered from that for period of years. Thankfully, I recovered well enough to lead a normal life

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It is true that public sector has much more red tape. Though it is no longer iron rice bowl, it is also relatively more forgiving as compared to private sector. The reason for the above 2 characteristics is not becoz people there are more diligent or compassionate. But becoz no one wants to be the one to be answerable should anyone question on the decision made. To be part of the organization, you will be surrounded by a family of the same game players.

Sorry to hear what you are feeling now. I won’t know how to cope when the Day comes for me. I always pray that if God is willing, please take the both of us together

I think we gays should be in a better position financially as compared to our straight counter parts. After all, if a straight guy have children to feed, their savings will be much lesser as compared gay singles. For those who say the straights have children to give them pocket money, think of our own situation: when we were in our 20s or even early 30s, is the pocket money we gave our parents enough to support both of them? When I was in my 20s, I could only give up to $500 per month to my parents. Even up to 5 years ago, after paying $8K per year of medical insurance for both of them, plus phone bills, utilities bills & their once a year holiday trip, I could only give them $1200 cash per month. Even though I believe I am not contributing below national average, $1200 per month for 2 people is obviously not enough. But assuming if my oarents did not have me & if they have used the money wisely for investment, I believe they would have gotten more financial returns then what I am giving them today, So I believe if we singles have managed our funds wisely, during retirement we should be better than those those have kids. But having said that, I believe many of us will not agree with what I have said

Haha...good analogy & guess you are right ;p

I am usually more turned on by a fully clothed guy than a naked one

Somehow, i am most attracted to a guy when he is fully clothed

To find a group of buddies to hang out, one of the best ways is to look for an interest group (eg; running group, religion group, mahjong group etc). To go through Grinder to look for a 1-1 friendship? ....

If we say a guy is straight & the reason he would look for another guy to have sex is purely due to horniness, then when a gay guy is horny, will he look for a women to have sex? The possibility is like almost zero. As much as we would like to believe that the guy whom we have had sex is a straight guy, I believe it is all our fantasies