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Found 9 results

  1. Guest

    gay love story

    tell me your gay connection where sparks flew. does such relationship exist in this community? the perfect one u can trust and love with all commitment? pls share
  2. Guest

    Lust VS Love

    Lust VS Love Having been exposed to NSA and ONS, it seems like I have lost the true meaning of love. What is love? How do I draw the line between lust and love? How do I ensure the feelings I have for the person I meet, is not due to lust?
  3. We were dating, however we distant from each other. Some shit happen & we confronted the matter. He doesn't want to commit into a ltr at the moment however suggest we still can hang out. I ask him if he still has me in his heart, he replied "Yes." What am I to do.
  4. While there are similar threads, some are closed. How do u and your partner/bf or even bff pair up or form a relationship esp when physically or the desires/stuff both of u are interested are so diff? Some love to comment on their partners' underwear e.g. too sloppy Some (I think it is a lot ) just love to cook, excited when buying some equipment How about u? do u purposely look out for one who have exact same interests like u only? I forgot to mention to some, the interests are only good looks and good looks, muscles n 8pecs, handsome and handsome, nothing matters anymore How do u reconcile the difference? just like in the video? I m the type that like good systems /headphones while I think many into cooking equipment though I have no1 concrete in life Or is it one bothers to decorate the house/buy everything and decides everything just like a Japanese housewife/houseman , the other party will just go with it?
  5. Hi guys, I'm part of a social enterprise, we're planning to make Valentine's Day an occasion that everyone can enjoy. We've found that Valentine's has become over-commercialized such that it only targets mainstream couples, to the extent that same sex couples, familial love and friendship have been drowned out by this marketing noise. One of our proposals is to add same-sex love to the Valentine's Day chatter to show that Valentine's doesn't just belong to a small subset of society. In order to do this, we're putting up many attractive prizes for same-sex couples to share with us their Valentine's Day experiences through social media with our campaign hashtag. We also want to change the twisted perception that more conservative portions of society may have on LGBT and show them that we're their sons and daughters and friends too. However, this is our first time doing this and we really want to make sure this is a campaign that provides value for our community. Could any of you guys give me feedback on whether you'd participate in such a thing and how we can add more value to this campaign?
  6. I'll turn 24 this year. 24/78/181 Chi if you are picturing, and I've never been in love, nor even know how it's like to love, or loved, or be in love. I'm proud of my own sexuality and wouldn't even call myself discreet. I used to have a lot of friends from my college, but graduation happens and people no longer stay in touch. Then I thought to myself, to really put myself out and look for friends, start slow and maybe eventually I'll find buddies that I can hangout with for coffee during the weekend and to do things that I like together. Fingers crossed, maybe even a boyfriend. Jack'd, Grindr, Blued, Growlr, Tinder, Hornet, Planet Romeo, etc, all channels. I will always tweak my profile to attract views and chats, and also increase the possibility of getting reply when I approach someone. I wasn't looking for sex, 'friends, networking, ltr' was my reply when asked what am I seeking. I'm always envious towards those people at my age, in a nice relationship or at least once loved, or have some gay friends that they can hang out with, or even a regular person that has a friend that they can do things together. I'm tired and wish that I never had to eat alone everyday, travel alone, and spend my weekend alone. In one year alone, I've chatted with more than 100 people, no kidding. Met about 30+ people. But all with a single outcome, they're all strangers now. They either stop replying altogether, or met once and never talk to each other again, as much as we are 'clicking' before meeting up. Or a large fraction would eventually lead the conversation to sex and asking to send pics of my body part. I am dead alone, bored and hope to have a friend that I could comfortable talk without eventually talking about sex and my body. There are some good ones at least, but the conversation didn't live longer than 2 weeks as much as I show my interest to know about each other and shared about my life and show concern, sincerity and all. Or some that would meet me and we probably had the best quality chat ever, but never make it to the second date. Eventually, seeing how awful the gay world is, and how terrible the gay community, I told myself that there is no such thing as friendship and there's no more love left in this circle. I managed to convinced myself that I no longer believe in love, as much as others said 'you haven't met the one yet', which I think is a total lie, because I've met more than 100 and I can't even get a friend, not even one. Seeing these, I mostly seek for fun and casual sex these days, but it was never or hardly about satisfying my sexual desire, because I'm not that much of a sexual person. Having sex with people, is almost like a way that I have some human interaction; to hug or know how it's like to be hugged; to be touched and actually wanted or desired; to have or understand something that is close enough to love; and it's what everyone in the gay circle wants anyway--sex. I still have no friends to find on weekend, but at least I'm able to find men that are willing to have fun with me. I enjoy the warm hug and being held tight, feels like I'm being cared and taken off, that I'm not alone for a while. The funny part is that I thought by changing my perspective and stop believing in friends and ltr in this circle, I will be happy and stop all the wishy-washy of stupid dreams of finding friends in the gay world. No more hoping for a boyfriend because love doesn't exist, no more trying to find or make a friend because it's not going to happen in the gay community, it was the right mindset that I needed before I get hurt every time I have to say--off he goes. Except it didn't. As proud I am to have so many guys cruising me, and guys messaging me when I'm available for hookup, I didn't find any happiness in it, almost wishing that I'm dead already, but I guess it beats loneliness. And right now, it got me asking fellow BWs out here, how do you keep on going? Because sometimes I find living in this cruel gay world as a lonely gay dude, it's a living hell.
  7. I saw a lot of nasty comments in Facebook that denounce the LGBT community. I'm quit sadden by these. I saw another nasty post a few hours ago and had decided to "fight back" in term of a story to express that LGBT is not a choice, but born natural (at least I am). I like to share with you guys here. The story is based on a movie 《秦俑》(that I had watched when I was young), my religious faith, general knowledge and some personal encounters that had happened to my friends or me. Pardon me, I had to write the story in Chinese as I am weaker in writing English stories. 秦朝有个不为人知的爱情。秦皇为求长身不老,听信丹士徐福的话,任其到蓬莱仙岛(传说日本)求取仙丹。徐福要求三千童男童女随性,以表诚意;秦皇不假思索便允许并命将军随行,且封其为副官。 秦宫外搭建起了许多营帐,安置陆续而来的童男童女。将军不时到营帐旁的小溪沉思并在那儿邂逅了正在梳洗的童女“凤”。两人来自同一个老家,因此话匣子便打开了,还对彼此产生好感。凤被委派作徐福的贴身侍女,并照料徐福的起居。徐福炼丹无数,可惜膝下无子,因此后继无人。凤乖巧懂事,深得徐福欢心,情同父女,还直言:“您把我当儿子使唤吧!”徐福乐得合不拢嘴。将军和凤常于小溪旁见面,说说家乡的事,也因此相互暗生情素。有一回,凤犯下了大错,本该重罚,但多亏徐福美言,凤才逃过一劫。 一个月过去了,船队出行的前夕,将军无意间听到徐福和徒弟的谈话。原来求取仙丹是假,逃亡是真;徐福虽炼丹无数,但对于长生不老丹却束手无策。所谓伴君如伴虎,如不早日离开,不知秦皇何时会降罪。将军思索许久,官场里的勾心斗角,加上深怕秦皇下令追捕而被牵连,令他决定了带凤一同逃离,这官也不做了。将军那晚挽着凤儿的手,借助黑夜的掩护逃离,但没料到还是被抓回来了。秦皇得知此事,大为震怒,赐一对鸳鸯一死谢罪。两人上黄泉路前许下承诺,来世再续前缘,结为夫妻。 时光飞逝,一转间眼两千年已过。南洋岛国“新加坡”出了个名叫“俊”的高级军官。虽然俊在事业上飞黄腾达,但身为同性恋的他总是情场失意,总是和爱情擦身而过。俊是个低调的男同性恋者,每当朋友邀请其到粉红点(Pink Dot),他总是多方推搪,拒不出席,直到2016年,在得知偶像刘玲玲的参与,加上不好意思再推掉的缘故,他终于出席了生平第一次的粉红点集会。 那天,他准备和朋友在芳龄公园会面,但朋友却爽约。他想:“反正都来了,就留下吧。”俊取了大型粉红卡,写下祝语,便四处逛逛。时间在不知不觉中一晃而过,在歌舞表演结束后,大家期待的时刻终于即将来临,俊似乎有点不好意思地准备举起粉红卡,毕竟这是他的第一次。6:30分终于到来,大家举起手中的粉红卡,这时俊一不小心踩到了身后的男子。他猛然回头道歉,男子只对他微笑。这时气氛欢腾,但两人的时空却定格了,仿佛似曾相识,还有说不出口的千言万语。粉红点结束后,两人结伴到附近的咖啡厅。男子的名字叫“峰”,是名药剂师,工作了好些年。峰毕业于国大,他的爸爸是国大药剂系讲师,名叫“富”,在药剂业颇有名气。父子两的关系很好,也因为爸爸的关系,峰从小便励志做药剂师。俊和峰谈天说地,总有说不完的话题,不止如此,原来他们两都住在红山,只相隔三座组屋,却不曾碰面。 时间飞逝如电,两人在粉红点的邂逅促成了往后的感情。俊和峰三年后于美国举行婚礼。两人终于完成了前世的承诺,今生结为夫妻,过着幸福的日子。说到峰,他今生也报答了徐福的恩情。。。
  8. First of three parts: http://myrighttolove.com/2012/09/29/finding-love-as-a-gay-man-in-singapore-part-1/ Very long but insightful and worth reading. I was talking to a 23-year old guy today. He had just broken off from his relationship of 3 weeks, and he said that at one point, he was thinking about committing suicide. When I was young, I had similar experiences – not the suicide though. So I thought that I could write about this, if it helps. I started ‘dating’ guys from when I was 18. By ‘date’, I mean I would go out with them and hopefully get to know each other further to develop a relationship. But at that time, that would mean meeting them for the first time and becoming boyfriends instantly. Sounds familiar? ***** We might decide to become boyfriends with someone because maybe he looks good, he might have a nice personality or we felt we could ‘click’. It has become a bit more complex now, as compared to my time. Then, when you see a ‘good looking’ guy (note: “good looking” is used loosely in this article. There is no fixed and objective definition, nor is it meant to be a favourable or judgmental term), for most people, we might think that it’s ‘cool’ to be attached to a good looking guy – eye candy everyday, so why not, we think. But it’s more complex now. Some guys want to date good looking guys and be part of a good looking clique. There could be a variety of reasons – for example, you may find people of the same characteristics with you so that you can identify with one another. So, for some people, it’s because they play DOTA. For some, it’s because they have the same interests – perhaps fishing. For some, it’s because they share characteristics of being considered good looking, and they might feel there’s something more common to talk about. Some guys are unhappy when a clique had ‘formed’, and they might feel that this clique is keeping themselves exclusive as THE group of good looking guys. Some guys might feel left out, and they might start judging these group of guys, or get upset with them. For some of you reading this, this makes the gay community sound superficial. First, it sounds like we only like to date people who are good looking. Second, it sounds like we only want to hang out with people who are good looking. But of course, I’m only bringing discussing the issue of being ‘good looking’, as an illustration here. The reality is a lot more complex. There are many variations to gay relationships and friendships. I have brought this up, because of the relevance to the topic on finding love and because of the prevalence of how often I’ve been hearing about ‘looks’ recently. But identifiers are used by any person – straight, gay, Chinese, Malay, man, woman etc – to make sense of one another, and this is not unique to gay people. What perhaps makes it unique among the gay community is perhaps, how homogenous these cues have become. The main reasons why such cues become adopted at such a high frequency is because of the high intensity of interactions that gay people have with one another, especially in a cosmopolitan setting, like Singapore. Also, there are only a few specific venues where we see a higher concentration of gay men come together. Plus with the high level of usage of the Internet and mobile applications, the speed at which these social cues and behaviors get seen and adopted by other gay people become very quick. Back to good looking guys who seemingly hang out together, if we are able to take a step back, we understand that visual cues are only one of many reasons that are used when people identify one another to be friends with. There are gay people who come together because they can talk about the same things, who like to do the same things, such as going clubbing or going to watch a movie, for example. But why do we get upset when we see people whom we think are good looking hang out together? There are several reasons. I would explore a few here. To come back to the topic of visual cues, even as there are other identifiers, visual cues is one of the most ‘influential’, because it’s the most easily identifiable cue. You can just see a ‘good looking’ guy – just like that, with your eyes. Thus being good looking has somehow been alleviated to become of a ‘higher’ status in that sense, due to the overt influence and identification. So, when we see a group of people who are good looking hang out together, we become jealous because first, we feel that since we are not part of the group where there is a ‘conferred’ status, we might think that we are not good looking enough. Second, we thus compare ourselves to them and it makes us feel lesser – lesser because of our comparison to the perceived ‘status’, and not to their looks. There are, of course, other reasons. ***** But I digress. The purpose of this article is to discuss about relationships. Why did I go into a lengthy discussion on looks? Because for this particular story in finding love, when we are young and we see someone for the first time, if he is good looking, we want to be with him. And because of the above reasons, we might want to be with him because it might confer a status symbol, for example. Also, we get to be attached to a good looking guy! It doesn’t matter whether we have something to talk about or if we can actually communicate! It doesn’t – because he is good looking and since we are visual, staring at him takes the cake – at least for when we are younger. So, that’s one reason. But there’s also a deeper reason. Why do we want to ‘fall in love’ once we see a person for the first time and want to become boyfriends? The funny thing is, we get together immediately and thereafter, we might think that we don’t actually have that much to talk to him. You can’t really talk to him, like you can talk to your good friends. In fact, sometimes, you even have to come out with things to talk to him, and rack your brains in doing so. Then we tell our friends, “But I don’t really think I can communicate with him. We don’t really have much to talk about and I can’t talk to him like I do with you. But I love him and I want to be with him, but I don’t really know if we can work out.” ***** If you stop yourself for a bit and think, the truth is, for some of us at least, we want to feel love and so we try to turn any person whom we meet, whom we think satisfy our basic wants of a guy, and focus our attention of turning them into our ‘love-giver’. So, we have to be be aware of this – do we feel an inner need inside us? A loneliness, a wanting to be loved? And many of us do. Truth is, we grow up being unclear about what it means to be gay, or what it means to like guys. We are unsure – when we have a relationship with another guy, what should we do? Is it like a straight relationship? So as we learn to understand what other gay people and relationships are like, we make sense from by learning from the people we meet. But wait! Why haven’t we even stop to think why this is the case? Why don’t we even stop to understand what we are doing? We go with the flow because since everyone else is doing it, it must be right – gay relationships cannot exist, it’s all about sex and I will be lonely for the rest of my life. If you’ve read carefully throughout this article, you would know where I’m trying to get at by now. We have learnt from the people we meet and follow what they do, without reflecting on what it really means for us, and why we do certain things. We need to look into our lives, understand how it had been developing and how our beliefs and mindsets have developed from them – and whether we can, with this renewed understanding, do something about them. In the next part, we will look into this further and discuss how we can better manage relationships which don’t work out. http://myrighttolove.com/2012/09/30/finding-love-as-a-gay-man-in-singapore-part-2/ http://myrighttolove.com/2012/10/01/finding-love-as-a-gay-man-in-singapore-part-3/
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