Guest lastdraw Posted March 12, 2019 Report Share Posted March 12, 2019 (edited) hey there! just like to hear your thoughts about the question as titled. for me, i think it's pretty rare for a casual relationship to subsequently turn into a serious one. perhaps because in a casual relationship, both parties started on different footing from that of a serious relationship; expectations are already different from those fundamental to a serious relationship? this is why when i meet new guys, i would usually determine if it's going to be a purely casual relationship, or a potentially serious one. in a purely casual relationship, of course i will be open to all things no strings attached - i mean, all guys have their needs and all. but in a potentially serious one, i would be very unwilling to steer it anywhere casual at the beginning, because i believe that a relationship, once casual, automatically closes the path to romance. am i just some naive dude who still believes in true love lol what do you think? Edited March 12, 2019 by lastdraw Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ppl are stupid Posted March 12, 2019 Report Share Posted March 12, 2019 No such thing. Sex not great at first, can't be long for gay. So naive, indeed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest disclosed yourself Posted March 12, 2019 Report Share Posted March 12, 2019 Yes for sure it can! But it always needs two to tango. I met many guys who wanted more than just simple plain fun, but then like "attacked" me with their wanting not considering my desires. Meaning make a move to fast. Being honest, in many situations I would have ended up in a relationship with that guy, but initially the first step was something out of my mind at that time. In such situations you need to apply patience, a lot of patience is advised. You must put your sensors out what the other person is seeking. Only after that you can be sure to ask someone for something more meaningful. Don't bomb people with your own desires from the start. Not everyone is ready for a relationship. Many guys would run off directly, even if in their deep heart they would look for a relationship at a certain time. Being honest, sometimes we have these fun buddies, but we are aware ourselves that they would never qualify for a relationship in our terms. But to spend some fun, we go on. Therefore, be careful. The other might not have the slightest interest in you more than just pure fun. Instead of bombing others with too much attention, sms, whatsapp, calls, dating out requests. Take it at a slower path for some while (months). Develop some bonding, have interest in the hobbies of the other. A relationship needs time to adjust from your personal lifestyle to being bonded with someone else. One day, take him to a romantic place, candle light dinners are always good. But don't go home afterwards. If he is into surprises, take a cab (without telling him) to Sentosa Palawan beach or East coast, walk with him at the beach, sit on a bench, let the wind run through your hair, take his hand and just confess that you feel a lot for him. He might not take the bond directly, he might shy away, but I think in many cases he might get serious. But as I said, let some time run, keep in touch. By keeping in touch I don't mean sending him a whatsapp every 30 mins. "Have you already eaten?". Just send him some whatsapp and tell what is going on with you. "Ah my boss so troublesome today, running around all departments, instead of keeping us working..." That type. Share your life. Ask him for dates (but again not every day) and keep going on. go movies, do stupid things, take him even to a speech, some culture thing (depending on his hobbies). On an innocent day just find out of his own perspectives with a guy. If he would go into a relationship, etc, how he sees monogamous, but please stay in general terms, just tickling out what he thinks on certain topics. Taking things too fast, he might shy away. But don't wait 5 years to ask him. I mean after 6 months, the candle light part should have happened. But I think it is possible and I m sure a lot of guys became partners in a relationship by initially just being casual friends. I would not rule it out. People's perceptions, desires change with time. Maybe in your early 20s you want to explore, have fun, live the life to the fullest, but around 28 you want to settle, take things slower in life. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Maramara nui a Mahi ka riro i a Noho. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kusajishi Posted March 12, 2019 Report Share Posted March 12, 2019 i do think it is pretty rare actually for a casual relationship is just that, casual. without commitments, it is a form of friends with benefits however, it is possible to shift from casual to serious, if there is a synergistic energy between the two though it is a rare thing, a hyper anomaly. i would think that its not naivety but idealistic and romantic because as much as the dark romantic world is for people here especially with the looser definitions of certain relationships and after all, wearing a rose-tinted lens on the world does make it a bit warmer and happier, dont you think so? and if that guy, if he started off as a fling, shares a worldview with you then, that might just be the kind of firework that you deserve but fundamentally, just be honest to him and yourself and take your time, theres no need to rush anything if the chemistry feels right but thats my take, maybe because im also a naive romanticist like you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thorzguy Posted March 12, 2019 Report Share Posted March 12, 2019 5 hours ago, lastdraw said: this is why when i meet new guys, i would usually determine if it's going to be a purely casual relationship, or a potentially serious one. in a purely casual relationship, of course i will be open to all things no strings attached - i mean, all guys have their needs and all. but in a potentially serious one, i would be very unwilling to steer it anywhere casual at the beginning, because i believe that a relationship, once casual, automatically closes the path to romance. am i just some naive dude who still believes in true love lol A seemingly casual meet up maybe the one for you while the supposedly serious date turns out to be a total mismatch? Go with an open mind and with minimum expectations. Work for it though do not over stress. There's still true love. It is the compromise of 2 individual definition of true love that makes it happen. My 3 cents thought. Sibelius 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FattChoy Posted March 12, 2019 Report Share Posted March 12, 2019 (edited) Why the need to have a serious relationship? If you are happy, why change things, like what women like to do? Stop having needless expectations, especially of a serious relationship with someone you just met. Edited March 12, 2019 by FattChoy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sibelius Posted March 12, 2019 Report Share Posted March 12, 2019 I think it might be difficult for your casual buddy to become your boyfriend. Although it is very rare, I still think it is possible if both are committed to do so... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Blank Posted March 12, 2019 Report Share Posted March 12, 2019 What is casual relationship? You mean fuck buddies? I only know there is 2 types of relationship: you're either single or attached here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
auscent Posted March 12, 2019 Report Share Posted March 12, 2019 Rare. In casual, breaking NSA boundaries to feed our fantasy can almost always hurt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Married Guy Posted March 13, 2019 Report Share Posted March 13, 2019 Casual can turn serious and serious can also turn casual.. We all have different needs depending on where we are at the season of our life. There is nothing wrong for wanting a serious relationship. I actually find it amusing when guys like us tend to be hopeless romantic. There is that level of naivety and purity in it. But as we grow older and experience love in different forms our view of relationships tends to sway and bend. Some still hoping, some has given up hope... Decide what you want to have... Experience everything while you have the time. Casual or serious relationship has its pros and cons. As long as it makes you happy and you don’t step on other people along the way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guanxi Posted March 13, 2019 Report Share Posted March 13, 2019 On 3/12/2019 at 5:43 PM, Guest Blank said: What is casual relationship? You mean fuck buddies? I only know there is 2 types of relationship: you're either single or attached here haha my same thoughts. what is casual relationship? if its dating or fuck buddies or NSA etc, its not even a 'relationship'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest disclosed yourself Posted March 14, 2019 Report Share Posted March 14, 2019 casual should probably stand for platonic relationship. => no physical contact. casual relationship = best friends who share their leisure but don't involve in sex. But threadstarter would need to explain. -------------------------------------------------- He kākano ahau i ruia mai i Rangiātea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyglobe Posted March 14, 2019 Report Share Posted March 14, 2019 16 hours ago, Guest guanxi said: haha my same thoughts. what is casual relationship? if its dating or fuck buddies or NSA etc, its not even a 'relationship'. Oh well, they disguised it under 'open' relationship when mentally attached with one guy and physically want to fuck or kena fuck by another. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lastdraw Posted March 14, 2019 Report Share Posted March 14, 2019 On 3/12/2019 at 5:43 PM, Guest Blank said: What is casual relationship? You mean fuck buddies? I only know there is 2 types of relationship: you're either single or attached here 17 hours ago, Guest guanxi said: haha my same thoughts. what is casual relationship? if its dating or fuck buddies or NSA etc, its not even a 'relationship'. 4 hours ago, Guest disclosed yourself said: casual should probably stand for platonic relationship. => no physical contact. casual relationship = best friends who share their leisure but don't involve in sex. But threadstarter would need to explain. -------------------------------------------------- He kākano ahau i ruia mai i Rangiātea. hmm by relationship im referring to its broader definition - simply the way in which two people are connected so theres kinship, brotherhood, friendship, etc and in this particular thread im referring to romantic relationships v.s. NSA/FWB but i guess there's a wide spectrum yea - there are those who remain as purely friends, those who are FWB, those who are in an open relationship, etc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest disclosed yourself Posted March 19, 2019 Report Share Posted March 19, 2019 On 3/14/2019 at 4:57 PM, lastdraw said: hmm by relationship im referring to its broader definition - simply the way in which two people are connected so theres kinship, brotherhood, friendship, etc and in this particular thread im referring to romantic relationships v.s. NSA/FWB but i guess there's a wide spectrum yea - there are those who remain as purely friends, those who are FWB, those who are in an open relationship, etc But that is very broad. I mean it makes a difference if it is a FWB/ NSA or just a friendship without sex or a "romantic" relationship (I assume you mean loving partners). However, for everyone I would advise besides "fun" friends to have real gay friends as "platonic" partners, to spend leisure chat about interests and even have an ear to listen to advice or seek advice on life and love matters. During my life I met many gay guys who did not have other gay friends or mostly even went out only with their straight friends. It is good to stay in touch with the straight world but you need good gay friends too. At any stage of your life you can come into situations where the listening and helping ear of someone close to you might be required. Often blinded by our own perceptions, we might take wrong directions and decisions if we never asked another's opinion. I mostly (we all get weak on times) separated good friends from sex friends. often sex friends might turn to good friends, but is it not always the case. But once you are on a pure good friend basis (without sex involved) better keep it this way. Don't stay lonely. Create a circle of gay friends in particular, we are all getting older and with that lonelier, the partner might end your relationship or something else happens and you end up very lonely. If you have a bunch of gay friends around, it helps you to come over such situations and most would have a helping hand to get you on track or distract you. When I was on the brink of having a relationship ended, I met with a close friend and he talked seriously to me (as he knew both sides) and this helped me a lot to rescue my relationship. Friendship with someone who understands you (being gay) is a treasure. I would have taken the wrong turn probably ending the relationship, but in certain situations we are blinded by anger, emotional stress or simply lack of sleep . I still remain to say that a good friend (non sex partner) can turn to a boyfriend, the same as I say that a fuck bunny can end up as your partner. Often we are able to see a person differently, knowing him better and his personal life, instead of just meeting for sex. Many of my friends who are in relationships came into it through casual sex encounters. I didn't look into it, but maybe often the fun part is a starting point, when we take up time to know someone better and sense some more comfortable feeling in being with someone, we start growing a relationship. But I don't think there is one set all type of situation. If I look back most of my relationships started on some one time thing that just bumped into my life and due to interest it grew to a relationship. The good thing about FWB starting a "romantic relationship" is that they know about life's lessons on sexual urges and are maybe better prepared to face flings or sort of open relationships. But that always depends on the other. To be honest, I met FWB who after some time started being possessive and asking a lot about other sex partners. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Te amorangi ki mua, te hapai o ki muri. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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