The Wrong Relationship Will Turn You Into Someone You Don’t Recognize

[GachiMuchi]

The Wrong Relationship Will Turn You Into Someone You Don’t Recognize

Holly RiordanUpdated March 16, 2019 

Toxicity is contagious.

When you stay with someone toxic for longer than they deserve, you develop your own toxic behaviors in order to cope. Bad relationships bring out the worst in you. They turn you into someone unrecognizable, someone you cannot stand to look at in the mirror.

That is why you need to get out of your toxic relationships as soon as possible. No more waiting. No more second guessing. You need to get out for the sake of your own mental health, for the sake of your own growth.

When you date someone who cheats on you again and again, someone who cannot be trusted, someone who makes you wonder if they are actually going to come home that night, you become a paranoid mess. You start snooping through their phone to see if they have been texting their exes. You start guessing email passwords to see who they have been messaging. You start grilling them about every girl they interact with in person and over social media because you are convinced they are going to hurt you again. You should have left him, but you stayed, and you turned into someone you don’t recognize anymore.

When you date someone who turns everything into an argument, who gets mad at you over the smallest mistakes, who cannot have a simple conversation with you without raising his voice, you start censoring yourself. You decide against telling him exciting stories about your day because he might get jealous. You hide shopping bags, even though you used your own money, because he might get mad. You delete your most innocent texts. You erase your harmless search history. You become someone sneaky, someone who lies, someone who tiptoes around the truth. You should have left him, but you stayed, and you turned into someone you don’t recognize anymore.

When you date someone who is obsessed with drama, someone who thinks jealousy is romantic, someone who starts fights for the fun of it, you are going to get used to the arguments. You are going to scream back. You are going to say things you regret. You are going to assume it’s normal to get into screaming matches every other day of the week. You are going to get as addicted to the drama as your person. You are going to mistake comfort for misery and fighting for passion. You should have left him, but you stayed, and you turned into someone you don’t recognize anymore.

Even though you want to fight for your person, staying in a toxic relationship out of love is the worst thing you can do. You are allowed to leave. You are allowed to start fresh.

The wrong relationships will turn you into someone you don’t recognize — but if you get out now, you can change your bad behaviors. You can work on your trust issues, your abandonment issues, your commitment issues. You can reach a healthy place again. But you have to put in the work. You have to make the decision to leave, to forgive yourself, to better yourself.

 

[Steve5380]

Thank you GachiMuchi.

I read with horror the nightmare that can be the wrong relationship.

Fortunately, mine was quite the opposite.

 

But a relationship does not need to become a nightmare.

This is why we should guide our children and those who need it

to become ASSERTIVE.  To become a bit of SELF CENTERED, with some EGOISM.

We gays don't need to be submissive, servile, and we all can develop courage.

 

This does not mean that we should not be tolerant,

because without tolerance there would be no relationships.

[Guest Blank]

Whenever I read stories like this, the first I do is to reflect on myself in regards to my relationship. Glad my bf and I didn't become like this as we trust each other. 

[fab]

A lot of people thought they have faithful partners.

 

Personally i know many attached people cheating behind their partners. Even young people r multi-timing their partners during their honey moon period.

[Guest Guest]

Is this article in reference to the online (and maybe even, offline) relationship between Nightwhore, Steve and Guest disclose yourself? Please, the three of you, quickly do as what GM has pointed out below.... 

 

3 hours ago, GachiMuchi said:

work on your trust issues, your abandonment issues, your commitment issues. You can reach a healthy place again. But you have to put in the work. You have to make the decision to leave, to forgive yourself, to better yourself.

 

[mate69]

Toxic relationship will wear you down until it's too late to reverse the damage.

[Steve5380]

18 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

Is this article in reference to the online (and maybe even, offline) relationship between Nightwhore, Steve and Guest disclose yourself? 

 

 

No. This article describes in fine detail Guest Guest (and his 100 aliases), who has been so damaged by poisonous relationships that he cannot do anything else but hang around BW trolling and making snide comments.

 

18 hours ago, fab said:

A lot of people thought they have faithful partners.

 

Personally i know many attached people cheating behind their partners. Even young people r multi-timing their partners during their honey moon period.

 

This is why smart people don't put much value in "faithfulness, exclusivity" when they enter a relationship, either by selecting a rare person with proven record of monogamy, or by accepting some polygamy as something natural   A smart experienced person who has a minimum of libido will recognize the possibility of having his own desires to have sex outside the relationship, and he will discuss this with his partner and have an understanding that some minor openness will be fine,  perhaps in the form of being together in threesomes or partner swapping or other group sex.  

 

[Guest Toxic]

19 hours ago, mate69 said:

Toxic relationship will wear you down until it's too late to reverse the damage.

Does it include relationship among workers in the workplace? 

[mate69]

10 hours ago, Guest Toxic said:

Does it include relationship among workers in the workplace? 

i would think so

[Guest Houston]

It reminds me of Whitney Houston. If she never married to Bobby Brown, I think she would still be here today producing great music. Such a talent and legend.

[thorzguy]

ANY kind of relationship. Learn to recognize the toxicity. Learn to distance yourself.

It is not been selfish, but protection for oneself.

[LeanMature]

On 3/18/2019 at 11:58 AM, mate69 said:

Toxic relationship will wear you down until it's too late to reverse the damage.

 

Not just relationship, should avoid reading toxic posts as well. 

[fab]

3 hours ago, LeanMature said:

 

Not just relationship, should avoid reading toxic posts as well. 

 

Can read but don't get influenced or even affected.

 

Read with an open mind and a big heart.

[tomcat]

the worse kind of toxicity is gaslighting.

 

it is done so covertly and maliciously, but over time causes you to doubt yourself or your own sense of reality.

those who gaslight, whether naturally or purposefully, are honestly psychopaths who can lie to you with a straight face.

 

run for the hills and never look back. 

[HydroNaut]

On 3/18/2019 at 8:52 AM, Steve5380 said:

Thank you GachiMuchi.

I read with horror the nightmare that can be the wrong relationship.

Fortunately, mine was quite the opposite.

 

But a relationship does not need to become a nightmare.

This is why we should guide our children and those who need it

to become ASSERTIVE.  To become a bit of SELF CENTERED, with some EGOISM.

We gays don't need to be submissive, servile, and we all can develop courage.

 

This does not mean that we should not be tolerant,

because without tolerance there would be no relationships.

 

As the saying, 女人无才便是德。 (women who are ignorant are virtuous).

As years goes by, I still can never be ignorant. 

From my observation... to maintain a long lasting relationship.

1)Goes for someone lesser in the look/physique criteria you seeking. Older spouse are better options. 

2)Act ignorant of what he is doing behind your back. 

3)Just have this notion that having a physical presence or status of a bf is better than nothing.

4)Always act happy in front of him and never to express any resentment.

5)Let him have the upper hand even if he is in the wrong.

6)Financially supportive of him.

 

I think this is what I see around me nowadays. Some goes even beyond 16years and counting....

Sad to say, it is quite hard to fulfil even one of this criteria in my case.

 

 

 

[Steve5380]

4 hours ago, HydroNaut said:

 

As the saying, 女人无才便是德。 (women who are ignorant are virtuous).

As years goes by, I still can never be ignorant. 

From my observation... to maintain a long lasting relationship.

1)Goes for someone lesser in the look/physique criteria you seeking. Older spouse are better options. 

2)Act ignorant of what he is doing behind your back. 

3)Just have this notion that having a physical presence or status of a bf is better than nothing.

4)Always act happy in front of him and never to express any resentment.

5)Let him have the upper hand even if he is in the wrong.

6)Financially supportive of him.

 

I think this is what I see around me nowadays. Some goes even beyond 16years and counting....

Sad to say, it is quite hard to fulfil even one of this criteria in my case.

 

 

Hmmm... one can find some cynicism in these 6 points...  it is like denying the existence of true love.

There is no obligation to be in a relationship.  

If you chose not to fulfill even one of these criteria, and you had 15 relationships and are still single,

you can be happy nonetheless.

[blowmenow]

On 3/18/2019 at 8:23 AM, GachiMuchi said:

The Wrong Relationship Will Turn You Into Someone You Don’t Recognize

Holly RiordanUpdated March 16, 2019 

Toxicity is contagious.

When you stay with someone toxic for longer than they deserve, you develop your own toxic behaviors in order to cope. Bad relationships bring out the worst in you. They turn you into someone unrecognizable, someone you cannot stand to look at in the mirror.

That is why you need to get out of your toxic relationships as soon as possible. No more waiting. No more second guessing. You need to get out for the sake of your own mental health, for the sake of your own growth.

When you date someone who cheats on you again and again, someone who cannot be trusted, someone who makes you wonder if they are actually going to come home that night, you become a paranoid mess. You start snooping through their phone to see if they have been texting their exes. You start guessing email passwords to see who they have been messaging. You start grilling them about every girl they interact with in person and over social media because you are convinced they are going to hurt you again. You should have left him, but you stayed, and you turned into someone you don’t recognize anymore.

When you date someone who turns everything into an argument, who gets mad at you over the smallest mistakes, who cannot have a simple conversation with you without raising his voice, you start censoring yourself. You decide against telling him exciting stories about your day because he might get jealous. You hide shopping bags, even though you used your own money, because he might get mad. You delete your most innocent texts. You erase your harmless search history. You become someone sneaky, someone who lies, someone who tiptoes around the truth. You should have left him, but you stayed, and you turned into someone you don’t recognize anymore.

When you date someone who is obsessed with drama, someone who thinks jealousy is romantic, someone who starts fights for the fun of it, you are going to get used to the arguments. You are going to scream back. You are going to say things you regret. You are going to assume it’s normal to get into screaming matches every other day of the week. You are going to get as addicted to the drama as your person. You are going to mistake comfort for misery and fighting for passion. You should have left him, but you stayed, and you turned into someone you don’t recognize anymore.

Even though you want to fight for your person, staying in a toxic relationship out of love is the worst thing you can do. You are allowed to leave. You are allowed to start fresh.

The wrong relationships will turn you into someone you don’t recognize — but if you get out now, you can change your bad behaviors. You can work on your trust issues, your abandonment issues, your commitment issues. You can reach a healthy place again. But you have to put in the work. You have to make the decision to leave, to forgive yourself, to better yourself.

 

this is so true for me! it was hard to leave my ex previously... but whenver i look back, i know i did the right thing

for myself... those who are in toxic relationship should quickly be aware of it,   and walk out of it if the relationship

cannot be repaired. i speak from experience, the longer u drag on, the harder it is for u to leave, the more ruined u become.