Do you reprimand your maid if she damaged ypur items?

[Guest Jay]

My maid who has been with us for more than 5 years damage a lot of things. I cant reprimand her because she is also taking care of my sick dad. I'm afraid that she might hurt him.

[Thatguy642]

Maybe just talk to her nicely like a human being? Put yourself in her situation, how would you want your employer to tell you about issues?
 

Sit her down and tell her that it’s bothering you that she damages your stuff and to please be careful next time to not do it. Let her know also that you appreciate the work she does to take care of your dad.

 

[AgentFit]

I too had a helper with an excellent attitude in caring for my parent but has broken just about every thing in the  kitchen, including special gifts from friends overseas, that cannot be replaced.  I came to realise it's how she is as a person.  She does things really fast, and in many situations her speed can come in really handy.  But the down side is her frequent breaking of things.  She has butter fingers and things slip out of her hands when she moves and does things quickly.  After many chats and things not changing much,  I replaced everything she had broken, with plastic.  Not environmentally friendly, but safe then for  all not having to deal with broken fragments of glass.

 

Back to the Topic question: I would ascertain if the behaviour is an attitude or aptitude issue.  If it's attitude, then sit down talks are necessary.  Hear her (assuming female) out, find out what's bothering her and find solutions together.  If it still doesn't work, let her know it's not working out.  Sometimes in life we have to make some hard choices.
 

If it's an aptitude issue - which was the case of my previous helper (as described above) - then I think the solution is often easier.  Training, or practical changes, can make the difference.   I kept my previous helper because I value her attitude and kindness towards elderly folks.

 

 

[Guest Maid in heaven]

1 hour ago, Guest Jay said:

My maid who has been with us for more than 5 years damage a lot of things. I cant reprimand her because she is also taking care of my sick dad. I'm afraid that she might hurt him.

 

How you know she's already not hurting him? You everyday go work already attitude the boss whenever he ask you to do stuff. Can you imagine your maid have to take care of your sick dad. 

 

She signed up for cleaning house etc. Earn income for her own family. End up unlucky assigned to your family have to take care of the elderly 

[Guest Look out]

The maid is doing it on purpose. Time to let the maid go before she does something more crazy. 

[Guest Wtf]

On 5/29/2023 at 10:50 AM, Guest Jay said:

My maid who has been with us for more than 5 years damage a lot of things. I cant reprimand her because she is also taking care of my sick dad. I'm afraid that she might hurt him.

sounds like you might be better thinking about the maid’’s workload and whether you are overloading her and stressing her out, which is causing accidents. Caring for elderly often needs professionals or family members to step up - you should find another solution for care of your dad and let the maid focus on the tasks around the house, as this is her actual job.
 

And if she has been with you five years, why do you think she will suddenly hurt your dad? Honestly, if you thought her temperament meant this was a risk and you cared so much about this, wouldn’t you have found another solution already? 

[doncoin]

Have her think of the things in the house as her own, and she may learn to take better care of them. It is one thing when they belong to somebody else, but when it is your own stuff, you do take greater responsibility in handling them. 

[Guest Wtf]

11 hours ago, doncoin said:

Have her think of the things in the house as her own, and she may learn to take better care of them. It is one thing when they belong to somebody else, but when it is your own stuff, you do take greater responsibility in handling them. 

errrr how would that work?
 

[HC-B]

On 5/31/2023 at 10:26 PM, doncoin said:

Have her think of the things in the house as her own, and she may learn to take better care of them. It is one thing when they belong to somebody else, but when it is your own stuff, you do take greater responsibility in handling them. 

No, it won’t work and it doesn’t work that way. Ultimately, they know the house is not theirs, just as the family members are not their kin or kith too.

 

The proven way, in my case at least, is knowing which button hurts the most and to press it — the salary. 
 

Make it upfront and clear what are the exact costs and values of fragile and breakable items, and how each breakage will be deducted from her salary.

 

And install CCTVs in the house. Monitor and review CCTV footage frequently.

 

It worked, to a large extent.

[Guest Wtf]

2 hours ago, HC-B said:

No, it won’t work and it doesn’t work that way. Ultimately, they know the house is not theirs, just as the family members are not their kin or kith too.

 

The proven way, in my case at least, is knowing which button hurts the most and to press it — the salary. 
 

Make it upfront and clear what are the exact costs and values of fragile and breakable items, and how each breakage will be deducted from her salary.

 

And install CCTVs in the house. Monitor and review CCTV footage frequently.

 

It worked, to a large extent.

how about TS uses the time spent monitoring and policing to look after his sick father a bit or do some stuff around the house himself…

[PlayersGroup]

Breaking things happen by accident when we work. As employer it's our responsibility to guide and teach. Try to do an assessment with your maid what happens immediately before, how it happened and what are the consequences. Chances are the environment she works in can be rearranged to avoid toppling things over or some safeguards can be put in place. And remind her if it's broken she'll have to do extra work to restitute so it's in her interest to be careful.

 

I generally never got my helper (back when i had a helper) to pay if it's an accident. If it's so valuable, it's worth some effort to secure it to foolproof it, or don't put it out in the open.

[iKneadyou]

On 5/29/2023 at 10:50 AM, Guest Jay said:

My maid who has been with us for more than 5 years damage a lot of things. I cant reprimand her because she is also taking care of my sick dad. I'm afraid that she might hurt him.

Was it intentional or by accident?

[glowingember]

When I hired a maid in the past, the purpose was to take care of elderly and not for housework. So, her primary focus was taking care of my parent. As she was from a village, things get damage or broken. Some family members were unhappy. However, as she took care of my parent fairly well, we just had to continue, and let go of the broken items. If she were perfect and has strong initiative, she might have found other jobs already.

 

But if TS knows that the maid is breaking things intentionally, then it’s a different matter.

[Steve5380]

On 5/28/2023 at 9:50 PM, Guest Jay said:

My maid who has been with us for more than 5 years damage a lot of things. I cant reprimand her because she is also taking care of my sick dad. I'm afraid that she might hurt him.

 

It is not too difficult to make a household break-proof by a maid or other workers.  The first rule is not to keep expensive breakable things within her reach.  The second, more of a long term,  is not to HAVE expensive breakable things.   If you have a sick dad at home,  what is the need to acquire fancy decorative items?  What is the need to have fine china and silverware?  What is the need to have expensive clothes, linen, rugs, furniture?    Plastic, metal utensils are not breakable.   AND... material things are not important anyway.

 

What is more important is to be sure that your maid takes good care of your father.  Today it is possible to have inconspicuous cameras that can record everything.  People use them to remotely check on babies or very young children.