Relationship Vs Sex

[frenz]

First of all, how do we start off a relationship?

How do we maintain a relationship?

How long can a relationship usually last? Can anybody tell me?

These are what I've been pondering about in my past relationship.

My first relationship start off as colleague to friend.

Then from friend to sex buddy and it lasted for 10yrs.

I initiated to maintain as friend rather than sex buddy.

It's all because, it lacks of an important ingredient, and that's LOVE.

Sex is of course, an important role, but to what extend?

Would you give up a relationship when no sex is involved? (I don't mean totally No)

My second one lasted only a week, that is when I think the other party just want sex.

I must admit, I'm the romantic type, I simply need someone to love or to be love. (Just like normal couples)

Unfortunately, I haven't meet the right man.

Though BW has a forum cater for all types of relationships, has anyone successfully engage a LTR relationship thru BW?

LOVE : SEX , what is the ratio between them you would prefer?

[cock brand]

Actually some of the answers to your questions are with you already!

You have a sex buddy for 10 years.

What kept you two together for 10 years - this is important as it can reveal many of the doubts you are actualy having.

Is so strange that you two can maintain a sexual relation for such a long time and yet did not develop any feelings for each other; so everytime is wham-bang-thanks-pal-see-you-next-time?

Has he other sex buddies other than you?

How do you define love?

[frenz]

Thanks pal, may be LOVE is just a fantasy I hope for.

Our 10yrs could just be a 'wham-bang-thanks-pal-see-you-next-time?' relationship.

He's a regular spa visitor, he too, have many bf relations.

He only comes to me when he broke off from a bf and co-incidently I'm horny at the wrong timing.

I think I just need a bf to spend boring time together.

Thanks to my fantasy and greediness that makes me feel boring and hopeless.

[iamwill]

i have a friend with this problem.

of the guys whom he wanted to have a relationship with, most of them aparently are just interested in having sex with him. so much so that now he is very afraid of looking for some one else, much less another relationship cos he is afraid of getting hurt and dissappointed again.

how would you help him?

[Baloo]

become his bf? and maintain a LTR with him as his lover, best friend, life soulmate, etc.

:whistle:

[loveedovee]

I found my current bf thru BW.. he is my first bf by the way..

I found his thread saying that he was looking for frens for outdoor activities.. so I added him up on msn and after 2 days, we met up for some simple hanky panky stuff.. that went on for the second time and I started to develop feelings for him..

our age is 10 years apart but that doesnt stop me from loving him. it has been 5 months and we are going stronger than ever, meeting new friends, sharing stories with each other, just knowing that I'm meeting him for dinner later is enough to smile through work.

for TS, I will not give up a relationship if no sex is involved since u said not completely. my bf has been sick for around a month and recovering, and the only things we do now is kissing and hugging and those are enough to melt my heart and smile myself to sleep.

and for the love: sex ratio, I would rather prefer the love. Because the feeling of satisfaction from sex is only temporary but the feeling you get while in love, is much much much more lasting.

[coolspecs]

First of all, how do we start off a relationship?

How do we maintain a relationship?

How long can a relationship usually last? Can anybody tell me?

Start off a relationship with similar interests and attraction of the mental and physical kind. Maintain a relationship through love and respect and care and concern but also giving space to the other party to breathe unless he likes to be smothered with affection and attention. Everyone is different and therefore there is a different treatment for different individuals. A relationship can last for as long as it takes you to cum or as long as forever. I don't know about promising forever... It hurts when it ends before the expiry date set. And I am unsure about the sincerity of not promising forever because it might seem you are not interested in the longest run... Many schools of thought on this, you have to evaluate and think about what you want.

These are what I've been pondering about in my past relationship.

My first relationship start off as colleague to friend.

Then from friend to sex buddy and it lasted for 10yrs.

I initiated to maintain as friend rather than sex buddy.

It's all because, it lacks of an important ingredient, and that's LOVE.

Sex is of course, an important role, but to what extend?

Would you give up a relationship when no sex is involved? (I don't mean totally No)

A relationship is made up of TWO people. If the TWO people agree that sex is no biggie, then what does it matter to them. It is what the TWO people feel they are comfortable with each other. Spending a lovely married life just being an old couple together or having sex anywhere and everywhere they are together. No two couples are the same.

My second one lasted only a week, that is when I think the other party just want sex.

I must admit, I'm the romantic type, I simply need someone to love or to be love. (Just like normal couples)

Unfortunately, I haven't meet the right man.

Though BW has a forum cater for all types of relationships, has anyone successfully engage a LTR relationship thru BW?

LOVE : SEX , what is the ratio between them you would prefer?

My friend keeps telling me this. Love yourself... Love your family... Love your friends... Love every living breathing creature around you... Sometimes, it is not about wanting to love just that one man who may come into your life. Lovers come and go. Family and really good friends will always be there. So will everyone else. BW is just a platform provided for you to get to know other like-minded individuals who you may become friends or even lovers with. It is still up to you to take that first step if there is someone you want to know. Or maybe just leave it up to fate, why don't you... Haha... I found many treasures here on BW, many awesome friends and someone I fell in love with.

Nike says Just Do It and Adidas says Impossible Is Nothing! :thumb:

[iamwill]

become his bf? and maintain a LTR with him as his lover, best friend, life soulmate, etc.

:whistle:

well, i was thinking (and hoping) too... but then current circumstances don't allow.

[loveme]

"Because the feeling of satisfaction from sex is only temporary but the feeling you get while in love, is much much much more lasting. "

really good comment

agree with this totally

[cock brand]

Thanks pal, may be LOVE is just a fantasy I hope for.

Our 10yrs could just be a 'wham-bang-thanks-pal-see-you-next-time?' relationship.

He's a regular spa visitor, he too, have many bf relations.

He only comes to me when he broke off from a bf and co-incidently I'm horny at the wrong timing.

I think I just need a bf to spend boring time together.

Thanks to my fantasy and greediness that makes me feel boring and hopeless.

So in reality you were your buddy's spare tyre!

And you allowed it to happen for a whole decade!

And you actually considered this relationship as your first serious one!

I believe this had ended cos you mentioned that you had a "second relationship" that last 1 week.

Can 1 week considered a relationship?

You hardly know each other in that 1 week!

So what have you been doing now to realised your "fantasy" of having a LTR, to have someone always around to relate your feelings to?

BF don't just dropped from the sky onto your lap, you need to go out and seek!

Some say the ratio of guys seek fun and guys seeking LTR is about 90% and 10% respectively

However, many people I know did find love, so its not that elusive afterall.

Keep seeking, he maybe just round the corner.

[Guest jayy]

Start off a relationship with similar interests and attraction of the mental and physical kind. Maintain a relationship through love and respect and care and concern but also giving space to the other party to breathe unless he likes to be smothered with affection and attention. Everyone is different and therefore there is a different treatment for different individuals.

Although I agree with coolspecs completely, I've never had the privilege of experiencing such a relationship . Everyone I seem to get 'involved' with has an extreme approach to relationships... it's always either a) no strings attached sex or b) ultra-possessiveness, the "I own you and you have to drop everything you ever knew or did and change for me, even though I've only known you for a day" type. :/

[saint80]

how do one define sex?

is hugging and kissing, blowjob and jerking each other sex? or is penetration of the anal considered sex?

To some, sex can just be hugging and kissing etc without fxxking. but to some, fxxking is a main component of sex.

I do agree fxxking is part of sex. and to have sex with your bf is ideal.

To answer this qn, love and sex comes hand in hand but sex need not be a must all the time. Once a while sex is like the fireworks in a celebration where it sparkles your relationships.

The main thing is that enjoy the relationships. enjoy every moments of it be it happiness and sadness. health and sickness cuz it the every moments of it and every little things you do for you partner that is long lasting than sex. Frankly who will remember their sex encounters. Most sex encounters are short term memory unless u meet a wonderful top who is well endowed and skillful.

my boyfriend and i have been together for abt 3 months and we yet to have anal sex together but we are enjoying every moment of our relationship in and out of bed.though i say so much, sex is a component of relationship but do not let sex rule it and spoils the beauty of your relationship. it is not easy to find someone you like and who like you for what you are.

relationship is no one and sex is a subset of it.

[GachiMuchi]

Relationship : has an emotional attachment

Ultimate feelings involved; happy, sad, glee, pain, joy, hurt, etc.

Sex : have an organ to organ attachment

Ultimate feelings involved; orgasm

Some men can love only one person.

Some men can love only one person and have sex with many others.

Some men can have sex with another with no emotion involved.

Some men can love a few at the same time.

Everyone defines love and sex differently. Relation is a different comparison altogether.

[Guest Mr. Confused]

Hi all

I've just started dating a guy... Let's call him YY.

We were working part-time at the same place. Didn't really talk to him much initially. Then one fine day he asked if I wanted to exchange MSN. I agreed purely out of courtesy.

Chatted with him and found him to be quite cute and nice. And within a short while, he asked whether I wanna stead with him. Of cos, I did hint him too in our conversations on MSN. So that's how we started. Pretty fast actually.

On our first date, we already got intimate... Hugged, kissed and handjobs in toilet. And subsequently, he wanted to be intimate with me everytime we meet. Including hardcore sxx. It's not that I don't feel comfortable with him. But I'm kinda worried if he is only dating with me for sxx; regarding me as a fxxx buddy or whatsoever. Everytime when he asked abt such things, I'll start to think a lot. I'm secured. And probably also because it's my first relationship, that's why I'm feeling quite confused.

Am I'm worrying too much?

[Guest Mr. Confused]

Sry guys... I mean I feel INSECURED.

[loveme]

Talking with him and telling him these words in your mind.

Ask yourself. What do u want exactly?

Love? or the sexual relationship?

If u need love, why u keep this sexual relationship and lie to yourself that it is love?

Find out the truth under the appearance.

[snowball]

so now you both attach?

if you worry, you should not into love relationship in the first place,

risk is part of the life, you can't read his mind, so just enjoy & leave it to fate

Edited March 1, 2010 by snowball

[Guest Mr. Confused]

Hey guys tks for the replies...

I'm seeking love and not just a sexual relationship. We are still dating.

We date just like any other couples... Spend time with each other and send sweet msgs. I do love him. And of cos, he says he does love me too. It's just that he would become another person when he asks me for sxx. For e.g., if we are meeting tmr, he would sms sth like "... after that, shall we xxxxxxx... let's fxxx hard...".

Is it normal for one to ask for sxx frequently... Assuming he wants a LTR?

Sry if I sound dumb but I'm just quite worried.

[snowball]

put it this way, you turn him on, he love you so he want to make love to you, simple as that.

think he is high sex drive, i see no reason for you to worry, you should if he seem not keen to

have body contact with you & don't really meet you often. if you just want love & not sex,

then better let him know. open & discuss with him, if he truely love you, he will respect you

[Guest Mr. Confused]

Tks snowball! =)

I have to admit that at times I'm not really that keen for sxx... But I was thinking that since we just started out, it won't be nice if I reject him. So ya... Hmm I'll see how things go then.

[GachiMuchi]

Firstly, I think you did not tell us the full picture.

1. How old are you and how old is he?

2. Have you had anal sex before? Is this ur first time?

3. Are you afraid of contracting diseases?

Personally, I think you don't really love him, you simply just go along because he is the one whom initiated the r/ship and u hv some liking for him. But I think deep down, you don't feel he is the right person.

You must ask yourself what you want from the r/ship and u must communicate to your friend about what u think.

If you are not ready, just tell him you are not.

In any case, you decide what you want or dun know. Your life, your choice.

[Guest Mr. Confused]

Firstly, I think you did not tell us the full picture.

1. How old are you and how old is he?

2. Have you had anal sex before? Is this ur first time?

3. Are you afraid of contracting diseases?

1. I'm 19; he's 20

2. I had my first anal sex with him. He's also my first bf.

3. No. I trust that he doesn't flirt around.

Hmm I must say that I do love him and enjoy the time spent with him. It's just that to me, he's asking for sex too often. We have started dating not long ago and he wanted to do it with me every time we meet. It's not like we both get aroused naturally or what. I don't really know how to describe this. But he would ask me everytime before we meet; abt where we would have sex and how he wanted it, etc. It just makes me feel that he's thinking of sex all the time. I'm worried that he just wants a sexual r/l which I'm not in favour of. Or am I'm just too paranoid? Should I just take it that he has a high sex drive and that's all?

I had gfs before but that's completely different. I mean, we don't talk abt having sex all the time. In fact, we didn't even do it. So I'm wondering if this is normal in gay r/ls.

[Guest Mr. Confused]

And ya, we don't just meet for sex. It's just that our date will always end with sex.

[davecub]

My thoughts on this:

1. In most m2m relationship, the initial part is very much physical & sex.

2. Ask yourself - How do you feel each time you guys have sex? Are you turn on by his touch, kiss, etc...?

3. Have a talk with him and let him know how you feel....the confused part between Love & Sex.

4. Sex is necessary in a relartionship, it is kinda of bonding between 2 persons.

5. Enjoy this process and have fun, don't think too much....just lets love takes over.

[Guest newguy2l]

he wants sex

u dont seem keen

meaning u dont love him lah

if in love means u want to sex him all the time

just like how i want to sex GM all the time

but he never choi me

[trevorcantona]

Hi there,

I jus wanna tell you a bit about my relationship with my bf of about 3yrs +

firstly, jus a bit of background, i have several bfs before this and i do fxxk around previously. i wont say i have a high sex drive, just i do have my needs, though as i get older and fatter, i seems to have really mellowed sexually.

whenever i am with him, he is always ready to make love. i understand tat as we dun meet everyday, probably like 2/3 times a week, but there are times when we dun do it cos i am too tired or sometimes "injured" down there. he is fine with it.

i believe your bf and you are only together for not too long, i suppose, then i think he wanting to make out with you often is normal for young guys like you (i remember when i was a youth, pcc-ing once/twice or thrice a day is normal). you can always test him out but rejecting him jus for once

if he really loves you, he will let you rest for tat once.

and of course speak to him about it. before any misunderstanding occurs and you/he regret it.

and oh gers dun really need to fxxk often, so dun bring in str8 relationship cos they are different from ajs ones haha!!!

[Guest thosewerethedays]

I made love with my bf every night when we first started off in the relationship. In fact, we first started off with sex as strangers and it gets more intense and a relationship blossoms out of it. It was just a natural thing to do at that time when we first got attached. And it is just not me who wants it, he wants it too, considering he was tired after the whole day's work and he needs to attend night classes and by the time he reaches home he about 11pm and he has to travel all the way to AMK from Holland to spend the night with me. When I say every night he does that, he really did. When you are in love, you seems to have all the energy to do crazy things. But when time goes by, you asked him to massage your back, he says tired.

[Guest Mr. Confused]

Tks guys for ur replies!!!

I think I got some enlightenment le... Met up with my bf ytd and got things sorted out =)