edisonlim84 Posted February 26, 2011 Report Share Posted February 26, 2011 (edited) Heys everyone!!Hope you all don't mind me sharing my emoness here from a summary of what happenedjust last yr November, I knew this guy from trevvy who just returned from his overseas studies and is one year older than I am. We met and watch a movie and shared about our life with each other alot, and we felt rlly comfortable with each other from the first day we met. We chatted on msn everyday and each time it can last up to 10 hrs a day. I grew to like him, nt in the lovers way, but I regarded him as a big brother of mine. I was rlly happy to met him, as I dun have a vry loving family and he is like a big brother given to me by God. I felt tt i was the most fortunate boy on earth and even went ard telling hw much my godbrother(tts what i called him) loves me. Then, suddenly, one day he jus msn me to scold me and vent his anger on me, because he lost his phone. I was vry concerned though hurt, because I was thinking did I do anything to hurt him or make him angry. Then he just say no and he lost his phone. I was sad, because he actually just vented his anger on me becos he lost his phone. However, I kept my sadness and anger and showed more concern on him. Then he ask me if I love him. I said I do, but in the brotherly way. That's when he goes angry and say I am wasting his time and its not brotherly love that he wants. I did tell him before I was not intending to start a relationship before we met and he agreed, so I was vry upset when he said this. Somemore I do think if he really wants to act like an older brother, he will not have vented his anger over me when I already showed concern by meeting him up knowing that he lost his phone. Somemore for that meet up, I even waited for him for 5 hrs because he claims that he cannot contact me without a phone...In the end he apologised and said it was his fault and ask for my forgiveness, and I did forgive him. However, there after, he didn't bother contacting me, and do not reply me even when I message him in concern. I am really sad and can't help but to think of him everyday, in a sense like did I hurt him a lot when I rejected him, did I make things difficult for him etc. Then finally the day before, he messaged me asking how I am. I was very happy yet angry at the same time, but I replied him later because I have got school when he messaged me. Then, he never reply me again.I admit I am tired of all these already, I have to admit he is making my life more miserable. There are a lot of happenings between us which i choose not to share. So everyone, any suggestions of how I can forget him, or should I even choose to forget him? Edited February 26, 2011 by edisonlim84 Quote You brought my happiness to its peak, along with my soul. Then, you threw me down without a warning, leaving me in pieces which cannot be mended, especially my broken heart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest elgar90 Posted March 10, 2011 Report Share Posted March 10, 2011 Heys everyone!!Hope you all don't mind me sharing my emoness here from a summary of what happened......I admit I am tired of all these already, I have to admit he is making my life more miserable. There are a lot of happenings between us which i choose not to share. So everyone, any suggestions of how I can forget him, or should I even choose to forget him?Choose to let go or not would be painful. But which would be the lesser of the evil? Weigh your choices carefully, if you choose to hang on to it, would the outcome be what you wanted?There's a saying, habits are hard to change. It will be challenging to change a person or his feeling. Like what an acquaintance from not too long ago told me: "be it good or bad, they are only experiences. Through these experiences, they will mold you into a better/worst person." It depends on how you see things.I have been through the same dilemma. I chose to let go and I am a happier man=) with a wonderful boyfriend for nearly 2months=) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edisonlim84 Posted March 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 hahas tnks for ur reply:) have gotten over it, just needed to talk it out to make myself feel better:) am closeted, so its hard to raise such things to friends, and ppl who knws abt it are too busy at the moment too:) hopefully it is rlly an experience tt can turn me into someone of the better!!of cos i shall stay hopeful too tt the right man can come into my life!!tnks lot again, cheers:) Quote You brought my happiness to its peak, along with my soul. Then, you threw me down without a warning, leaving me in pieces which cannot be mended, especially my broken heart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ironrod Posted March 16, 2011 Report Share Posted March 16, 2011 Seriously? I think your "brother" is sexually frustrated lol seems like he wants more then just "friends".Some ppl react this way to feel less painful, so ermmm u can't totally blame him. ok? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Euouae90 Posted March 17, 2011 Report Share Posted March 17, 2011 I know you already overcome it. But I'm still wondering, that time if you only treat him as a brother why it's so hard for you to forget him? fab 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucky 7 Posted March 17, 2011 Report Share Posted March 17, 2011 Keep yourself busy or get another man! Quote http://far-infraredtherapy.blogspot.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edisonlim84 Posted March 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2011 I know you already overcome it. But I'm still wondering, that time if you only treat him as a brother why it's so hard for you to forget him?hahas bcos I rlly treasure this "brother" i had:) he gave me more warmth then my real brother gives me! he is even willing to rush down all the way frm the east to the north just because I am sick! but i rlly wasn't rdy to develop my relationship with him one step further, probably bcos i wan to give myself more time to consider what i rlly want and i oso dun wan to spoil the "brotherhood" i had with him, cos when the relationship progrssed further, more considerations have to be in and arguments may occur more often, which may turn everything chaotic and things will end up worse than it is now..at least we parted with peace i guess:) Quote You brought my happiness to its peak, along with my soul. Then, you threw me down without a warning, leaving me in pieces which cannot be mended, especially my broken heart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edisonlim84 Posted March 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2011 Keep yourself busy or get another man!hahas highly doubt tt i will choose the latter hahas:) will keep myself as busy as possible by studying hard i guess lols, its nt even a choice actually.. Quote You brought my happiness to its peak, along with my soul. Then, you threw me down without a warning, leaving me in pieces which cannot be mended, especially my broken heart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spordyguy Posted March 22, 2011 Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 Hi everyoneI'm emotionally attached to this colleague of mine. We used to chat and do manythings together. We go to the gym and I train him. He is straight and he does not know that I'm a gay. Everytime when he chat with his girlfriend, I will become very jealous. I created a lot of problems fir him to show concern of me. But I regretted it everytime. Recently, I try to make myself very busy at work, work out very hard and doing manythings every night and so as not to check whether he is on line with his girlfriend. But I find it very difficult to go through and very often I'm depressed. You may say that I'm very stupid to fall for a straight guy. Actually, in the beginning I never think I will fall for him. But after being together doing many projects in my work, I found myself emotionally fallen for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ironrod Posted March 22, 2011 Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 Hi everyoneI'm emotionally attached to this colleague of mine. We used to chat and do manythings together. We go to the gym and I train him. He is straight and he does not know that I'm a gay. Everytime when he chat with his girlfriend, I will become very jealous. I created a lot of problems fir him to show concern of me. But I regretted it everytime. Recently, I try to make myself very busy at work, work out very hard and doing manythings every night and so as not to check whether he is on line with his girlfriend. But I find it very difficult to go through and very often I'm depressed. You may say that I'm very stupid to fall for a straight guy. Actually, in the beginning I never think I will fall for him. But after being together doing many projects in my work, I found myself emotionally fallen for him.That is the problem with gay man not understanding the term "Bromance".I know this may seems stupid but you have 2 options1) Tell him straight in the face you liked him and because he is attached and u liked him too much you have to distance yourself from him. [This could be a scene in some drama show actually)2) Start dating other pplThat's why i prefer to filter out str8 ppl in my personnel life. It's just too complicated when it comes to the matter of the heart and our heart is tough to control. Sorry bro , hope u give yourself some time to learn this hard lesson. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spordyguy Posted March 22, 2011 Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 That is the problem with gay man not understanding the term "Bromance".I know this may seems stupid but you have 2 options1) Tell him straight in the face you liked him and because he is attached and u liked him too much you have to distance yourself from him. [This could be a scene in some drama show actually)2) Start dating other pplThat's why i prefer to filter out str8 ppl in my personnel life. It's just too complicated when it comes to the matter of the heart and our heart is tough to control. Sorry bro , hope u give yourself some time to learn this hard lesson.Hi IronrodIndeed, this is a very painful and hard lesson to go thru'. I won't tell him that I like him. No one know that I'm a gay and I don't want to lose him completely as a friend too. Thank you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waterballoon Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 Edison & everyone else, ur a cutie, nice & sweet boy. Basically, u deserve someone better. Don't ever get hung up over an asshole, it's not worth it. Quote "The two of us are living in the same era, believing in the same future Yesterday’s tears and today’s smiles will stay true We’ve experienced the same pain, we’ve gathered the same kindness And we’ll turn them into the strength to live on tomorrow" progress - ayumi hamasaki Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edisonlim84 Posted March 23, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 Edison & everyone else, ur a cutie, nice & sweet boy. Basically, u deserve someone better. Don't ever get hung up over an asshole, it's not worth it.hahas yep:) thank you! I have disposed off everything related to him!! Unfortunately, he sent me a message through Facebook inbox(how sincere) to tell me how much he misses me and whatever, but oh well I have already let it go and definitely not turning back again! It's too painful an experience but nevertheless an experience to learn from:) Quote You brought my happiness to its peak, along with my soul. Then, you threw me down without a warning, leaving me in pieces which cannot be mended, especially my broken heart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waterballoon Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 hahas yep:) thank you! I have disposed off everything related to him!! Unfortunately, he sent me a message through Facebook inbox(how sincere) to tell me how much he misses me and whatever, but oh well I have already let it go and definitely not turning back again! It's too painful an experience but nevertheless an experience to learn from:)I'm glad to hear that. U deserve someone betterlike me :whistle: Quote "The two of us are living in the same era, believing in the same future Yesterday’s tears and today’s smiles will stay true We’ve experienced the same pain, we’ve gathered the same kindness And we’ll turn them into the strength to live on tomorrow" progress - ayumi hamasaki Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spordyguy Posted March 30, 2011 Report Share Posted March 30, 2011 Hi guys,It's so difficult to forget him. We work together, gym together and lunch together. After work, I'm always waiting for him to be online (iPhone appl). But he don't really chat with me as he used to before. I'm so afraid to open the appl as to see whether he is online. I'll be very down if I find that he's chatting with others. I can't have the courage to delete that appl too.As I mentioned before, I'm trying to do so many things at night just to keep myself occupied. Everyday, I'll wash my car, I clean the house, I play games. But when I'm to sleep around 11+, that's the worse time. I'm so scare that I'll think of him or trying to give excuses to chat with him.So the problem is in me and not him. I know that I can't let go. I'm always telling myself to try harder each day. I'm stupid.Sad... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowball Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 (edited) human is complicated, the only way to make one more happier is accept what beyond control, happy or sad is just part of life, no point lying to yourself, no one will forget the past, the more you want to force yourself, you will be more painful, so just leave everything to time, maybe one day when you look back, you may find is the best arrangement for both. 一段失败的爱情, 不是单方面的 Edited March 31, 2011 by snowball Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anderson Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 hahas yep:) thank you! I have disposed off everything related to him!! Unfortunately, he sent me a message through Facebook inbox(how sincere) to tell me how much he misses me and whatever, but oh well I have already let it go and definitely not turning back again! It's too painful an experience but nevertheless an experience to learn from:)seems like this guy is quite childish and not very stable. if you are together with him, it'll be like a roller coaster ride for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edisonlim84 Posted April 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2011 seems like this guy is quite childish and not very stable. if you are together with him, it'll be like a roller coaster ride for you.hahas well ,he is 19, one yr older than I am only hahas, so prob what you say is true:) I am leading a fine life still without him so definitely I am not turning back:) thanks anyway:) Quote You brought my happiness to its peak, along with my soul. Then, you threw me down without a warning, leaving me in pieces which cannot be mended, especially my broken heart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MlyGuy1975 Posted April 3, 2011 Report Share Posted April 3, 2011 hahas well ,he is 19, one yr older than I am only hahas, so prob what you say is true:) I am leading a fine life still without him so definitely I am not turning back:) thanks anyway:)Age has nothing to do with it ... I'm 35, my ex is 40 ... and he acts exactly the same way. It's good to hear you're moving on. I am struggling to move on but I am determined to do so ... It's not the number attached to you, but to me, it's always been about how mentally mature you are and how comfortable you are with yourself. You need to know who you are first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahgreg Posted April 3, 2011 Report Share Posted April 3, 2011 Fortunately (or maybe unforunately), I have a bit of a ruthless personality so if I kana unceremoniously dumpped by a guy I forget him quite quickly. Definitely not the kinda person who still keeps their photos and regret about old days, although ya sometimes might ache about it a bit. Maybe that derived from being rejected once too often? :SEasier said than done not thinking about it, so maybe you can throw your focus onto something else, like your studies/work/hobby? Quote I don't wish to be everything to everyone... but I would like to be something to someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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