How You Guys First Introduce Bf To Parents?

[loveseeker]

I'm thinking to bring my bf home and introduce him to my parents.

Just wonder how you guys have done that successfully without making a big mess. Please advise.

Thanks

[vikot]

i really wish i could shock them by saying "Mum/dad, this is my boy friend. U ll need to treat him as kind of my only and lifetime partner. Pls no further press on me for a gf.."

I just dunt want them to have heart attacks and faint.

Otherwise could only say this is my best best friend, treat him as ur stepson and part of the family.

[Athlete79]

I'm thinking to bring my bf home and introduce him to my parents.

Just wonder how you guys have done that successfully without making a big mess. Please advise.

Thanks

How about doing it in a group first -- if you have common friends, that is?

Or if it's just him you'd like to bring home, perhaps, start off with him dropping by your place before you both head out? Then can graduate into other thing, such as dinner, in future?

Good luck!

[doncoin]

I'm thinking to bring my bf home and introduce him to my parents.

Just wonder how you guys have done that successfully without making a big mess. Please advise.

Thanks

Don't over plan it. Just introduce him as you would any other friend. Maybe you can drop a hint that this is the man that is making their son really happy. Parents are not going to begrudge someone who makes their son happy right?

[thorzguy]

Just be natural and bring him home, for a short moment, like take some stuff, a cup of coffee etc. Slowly, the appearance becomes more frequent...

The best part comes - if your bf and your family members can click, then once your bf appearance becomes lesser, your parents may asked" Eh, how come so long didn't see so and so liao?"

Good Luck pal!!

[Guest haha]

Maybe you can drop a hint that this is the man that is making their son really happy.

But, please never reveal what this man did to their son to make him happy. Too gross for parents to take it :whistle: :whistle:

[Guest imseeker]

But, please never reveal what this man did to their son to make him happy. Too gross for parents to take it :whistle: :whistle:

LOL...

[alien]

How i wish i can introduce my bf (if there is any) openly with open heart to my parents! Dunt think such scene will happen in this life.

[Guest Mommy Boy]

Don't over plan it. Just introduce him as you would any other friend. Maybe you can drop a hint that this is the man that is making their son really happy. Parents are not going to begrudge someone who makes their son happy right?

I fully agree.

Over the years mom will said: you going out with the same guy? So it is him again? Oh! never heard you guys planning for holiday? So where are u guys going out next week? What he worked as? How was his family? and than start telling the whole family members I am out with a friend named Kenny and won't be home for dinner.

The above is as good as endorsement already. No need to bring him home lah!

[Guest lovermassage]

agreed with the above msg. DOn't do it deliberately.. Most mother will not accept son as gay because they all looking for grand children. However, some will just accept the fact that their sons will not marry because of certain reason..Some will rather you don't say it because deep down they are aware of it ( if you keep bring the same friend back or keep talking to the same person...etc).

Anyway, just let it be natural because the more you try to plan it,the more likely it will turn out not so good as planned or become a disappointment. Don't forget your bf will also feel presurised... So best let nature takes its course.

If your parent are already aware you are gay, then things will be very easy....but you must remember that deep down some parent still hope you will bring back a girl i.e. un-gay..

[Mercutio]

Does your boyfriend want to be introduced as such?

My ex always wanted to, but I refused on the grounds that I didn't want to be the pretext for his coming out to them when he would not have done so otherwise.

[Guest Guest]

my bf slowly bring me to his house openly when his parents were around and when he started a small biz of his, he will use the excuse of me as his helper to allow me to visit him often and sometimes late at night until it is so norm.

[fab]

i really wish i could shock them by saying "Mum/dad, this is my boy friend. U ll need to treat him as kind of my only and lifetime partner. Pls no further press on me for a gf.."

I just dunt want them to have heart attacks and faint.

Otherwise could only say this is my best best friend, treat him as ur stepson and part of the family.

U mean GODSON instead?

[loveseeker]

Just be natural and bring him home, for a short moment, like take some stuff, a cup of coffee etc. Slowly, the appearance becomes more frequent...

The best part comes - if your bf and your family members can click, then once your bf appearance becomes lesser, your parents may asked" Eh, how come so long didn't see so and so liao?"

Good Luck pal!!

Good idea :thumb: Thanks Thorzguy I'll try your method. Hope my parents will like my bf.

Also thanks all for the advice and helps

[Guest Ah Poon]

I'm thinking to bring my bf home and introduce him to my parents.

Just wonder how you guys have done that successfully without making a big mess. Please advise.

Thanks

Haha. Better be discreet. This is singapore not ang moh country hor.

[Man40s]

Firstly invite him over and introduce him as a best friend.

Observe your family reaction towards him.

Are they able to communicate and make him feel warm?

If they treat him well, bring him home more often and slowly open up to them.

[vin8tan]

I'm thinking to bring my bf home and introduce him to my parents.

Just wonder how you guys have done that successfully without making a big mess. Please advise.

Thanks

The question should be, are your parents even ok with you being gay? If they aren't it would be unfair to introduce your partner into the family, only to be judged/shocked by someone else.

If they are, then how about arrange for them to meet in a social setting before bringing him home. It can be anything you always do together as a family, grocery shopping, going to the market, sunday brunch.

Ask if a friend could join us, and see how it goes from there.

[alien]

The question should be, are your parents even ok with you being gay? If they aren't it would be unfair to introduce your partner into the family, only to be judged/shocked by someone else.

If they are, then how about arrange for them to meet in a social setting before bringing him home. It can be anything you always do together as a family, grocery shopping, going to the market, sunday brunch.

Ask if a friend could join us, and see how it goes from there.

I wld think bring a "friend" together as a family in grocery shopping, going to market and sunday brunch wld be a bit obvious tht the so called "friend" is just some common or normal friend. If i have just a normal guy friend, even he is my gd friend, i also dun think i will bring him along to such activity with my family.

Some theory like, if u bring a guy friend to ur family gathering or celebration like parent, grandmother or grandfather's birthday etc, anyone in the family or relative shld be easily or suspect the relationship btw u and the guy something is not right.

Edited July 26, 2011 by alien

[Guest Wesley]

I wld think bring a "friend" together as a family in grocery shopping, going to market and Sunday brunch wld be a bit obvious tht the so called "friend" is just some common or normal friend. If i have just a normal guy friend, even he is my gd friend, i also dun think i will bring him along to such activity with my family.

Some theory like, if u bring a guy friend to ur family gathering or celebration like parent, grandmother or grandfather's birthday etc, anyone in the family or relative shld be easily or suspect the relationship btw u and the guy something is not right.

Interesting you chose the words "... anyone in the family or relative shld be easily or suspect the relationship btw u and the guy something is not right"

My experience is that my Singaporean bf's family is able to see how happy we are and how we lovingly support and complement each other. I feel very fortunate. The family has been over to our house. We have a 3 room HDB and the front room is rented out to another AJ so that doesn't leave much to the imagination when you count 3 people but only two beds.

Hugs and kisses

[vin8tan]

I wld think bring a "friend" together as a family in grocery shopping, going to market and sunday brunch wld be a bit obvious tht the so called "friend" is just some common or normal friend. If i have just a normal guy friend, even he is my gd friend, i also dun think i will bring him along to such activity with my family.

Some theory like, if u bring a guy friend to ur family gathering or celebration like parent, grandmother or grandfather's birthday etc, anyone in the family or relative shld be easily or suspect the relationship btw u and the guy something is not right.

But that's kind of my point. They won't kick up a big fuzz or reject you and your partner outright. So you can almost just sit there and observe people's reactions, are your parents totally against the idea, cool with it. If they are fuming, then won't it be wise to not introduce him back hom so soon, and take it slow? Every move has to be carefully calculated and planned for. Not planning is planning to fail.

[Guest Dicky]

Firstly invite him over and introduce him as a best friend.

Observe your family reaction towards him.

Are they able to communicate and make him feel warm?

If they treat him well, bring him home more often and slowly open up to them.

Hi man40s, I'm keen in u.. Pls add me indianajone7@hotmail.com

Hi man40s, I'm keen in u.. Pls add me indianajone7@hotmail.com

[abang]

Before anything happens, ask yourself whether

a. is your family ready to discuss or accept your gay life?

b. is this person/bf "acceptable" to them?

c. is he really the right man?

I had it a little simpler as the men of my life were mainly GWMs. Due to communication barriers, the interaction between my parents and the man/men had always been minimal. Furthermore, most parents (then) still had a little more respect for the well-mannered GWMs - mine were lawyers, doctors or bankers...

I invited Joe over for reunion dinner in 2001. He's an accounting man, sort of a CFO for a big pharmy company. I discussed the invitation to both my mother and him prior to the event itself. My mother was more excited than me because Joe and I had gone on holidays together before they met. She even had an ang-bao for him. On Joe's side, I told him just to be himself. Just treat my mother as the congenial aunty from the pantry - be nice and polite.

Of course, Joe continued to drop by regularly for dinners thereafter.

[Guest guest]

I'm thinking to bring my bf home and introduce him to my parents.

Just wonder how you guys have done that successfully without making a big mess. Please advise.

Thanks

before u bring yr bf to see yr parents .i suggest both of u go to a photo studio and do as a loving couple photo shots first. when the day to see yr parents bring those photo along , am sure yr parents understand without uttering any words.

[Tommykid]

Hmm. I did not "officially" intro my ex-BF to my parents. I just brought him over as my "friend" and slowly they accepted the fact of this friend coming over to stay and all. We eventually invited both sides of parents for dinner together on the basis that we are "friends".

Unless you are ready to tell them.. I have not told my family but I guess with the frequently of how my ex stays over last time.. they roughly can tell I guess.

[briax]

@21 yo, army mate

@31 yo. , best colleague

@41 yo, best friend

@51 yo, shut up dun ask.

Actually the best way for me is not only bringing bf home but also where possible hint that you are spending alot of time with him, talk about him purposely and bring him home. It is easier for my mom to accept him if she has an idea what type of person he is.

Beside my mom alreeady know. She just asked my bf the other day if we broke up cos i had a bad day. At least for her. I think she is more concerned if i am in a stable relationship with a good person.

[fab]

lucky u.

[deceptiveeyes.deceivingminds]

Don't crack your head.

Just bring him back, introduce him to your family or whoever is around ...and carry on as usual.

In time to come, when he comes more often, it would be understood.

No need to broadcast like in a heterosexual relationship ..."Pa, Ma, this is my boyfriend or this is my girlfriend".

[Guest guest]

Agreed with the above.. why complicate life..Gay life is complicated enough..if both of u are happily liviely your life each day, enjoy the moment and be contented..let things fall in as it goes along..

[briax]

Or you can ask your parents if they are keen to know.

Just recently i was talking to a friend and he shared with that the idea of coming out do not work for all families. Some parents find their own ways to deal and understand sons sexuality. If you tell them too sudden, it disrupts the process and direct confrontations can sometimes be unpleasant.

Perhaps in our setting you can first drop hint, and if your parents are sensitive enough they will know. Of your parents are prepared to be open and accepting, chances are they are more keen to know that their son is with someone genuine.

I never come out to my mom despite of numerous chances she offer. Guess i have my issues to work out but she certainly indicated her approval of my relationship when she said she dun mind moving overseas to live with me and my partner if that is what we plan.

our parents have their unique ways to say yes n no. You know best.

Edited August 18, 2011 by briax

[blue69heaven]

jus like good fren....my bf jus said im him good fren...thenn slowly slowly i often went his hse,stay over,sometimes he's not around i also stay thr,him family,mom,kids all also accept me...but they never ask...