loveseeker Posted July 24, 2011 Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 I'm thinking to bring my bf home and introduce him to my parents.Just wonder how you guys have done that successfully without making a big mess. Please advise.Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vikot Posted July 24, 2011 Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 i really wish i could shock them by saying "Mum/dad, this is my boy friend. U ll need to treat him as kind of my only and lifetime partner. Pls no further press on me for a gf.."I just dunt want them to have heart attacks and faint.Otherwise could only say this is my best best friend, treat him as ur stepson and part of the family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Athlete79 Posted July 24, 2011 Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 I'm thinking to bring my bf home and introduce him to my parents.Just wonder how you guys have done that successfully without making a big mess. Please advise.Thanks How about doing it in a group first -- if you have common friends, that is? Or if it's just him you'd like to bring home, perhaps, start off with him dropping by your place before you both head out? Then can graduate into other thing, such as dinner, in future?Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doncoin Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 I'm thinking to bring my bf home and introduce him to my parents.Just wonder how you guys have done that successfully without making a big mess. Please advise.Thanks Don't over plan it. Just introduce him as you would any other friend. Maybe you can drop a hint that this is the man that is making their son really happy. Parents are not going to begrudge someone who makes their son happy right? Love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thorzguy Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 Just be natural and bring him home, for a short moment, like take some stuff, a cup of coffee etc. Slowly, the appearance becomes more frequent...The best part comes - if your bf and your family members can click, then once your bf appearance becomes lesser, your parents may asked" Eh, how come so long didn't see so and so liao?" Good Luck pal!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest haha Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 Maybe you can drop a hint that this is the man that is making their son really happy. But, please never reveal what this man did to their son to make him happy. Too gross for parents to take it :whistle: :whistle: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imseeker Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 But, please never reveal what this man did to their son to make him happy. Too gross for parents to take it :whistle: :whistle:LOL... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alien Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 How i wish i can introduce my bf (if there is any) openly with open heart to my parents! Dunt think such scene will happen in this life. 对自己好是一种幸福, 对别人好是一种积福。 Spend time counting your blessings, not airing your complaints. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mommy Boy Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 Don't over plan it. Just introduce him as you would any other friend. Maybe you can drop a hint that this is the man that is making their son really happy. Parents are not going to begrudge someone who makes their son happy right?I fully agree.Over the years mom will said: you going out with the same guy? So it is him again? Oh! never heard you guys planning for holiday? So where are u guys going out next week? What he worked as? How was his family? and than start telling the whole family members I am out with a friend named Kenny and won't be home for dinner. The above is as good as endorsement already. No need to bring him home lah! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lovermassage Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 agreed with the above msg. DOn't do it deliberately.. Most mother will not accept son as gay because they all looking for grand children. However, some will just accept the fact that their sons will not marry because of certain reason..Some will rather you don't say it because deep down they are aware of it ( if you keep bring the same friend back or keep talking to the same person...etc).Anyway, just let it be natural because the more you try to plan it,the more likely it will turn out not so good as planned or become a disappointment. Don't forget your bf will also feel presurised... So best let nature takes its course.If your parent are already aware you are gay, then things will be very easy....but you must remember that deep down some parent still hope you will bring back a girl i.e. un-gay.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mercutio Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 Does your boyfriend want to be introduced as such?My ex always wanted to, but I refused on the grounds that I didn't want to be the pretext for his coming out to them when he would not have done so otherwise. Mercurio sacris fertur Boebeidos Undis virgineum Brimo composuisse latus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 my bf slowly bring me to his house openly when his parents were around and when he started a small biz of his, he will use the excuse of me as his helper to allow me to visit him often and sometimes late at night until it is so norm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fab Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 i really wish i could shock them by saying "Mum/dad, this is my boy friend. U ll need to treat him as kind of my only and lifetime partner. Pls no further press on me for a gf.."I just dunt want them to have heart attacks and faint.Otherwise could only say this is my best best friend, treat him as ur stepson and part of the family.U mean GODSON instead? 鍾意就好,理佢男定女 never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want. 结缘不结怨 解怨不解缘 After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say. 看穿不说穿 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loveseeker Posted July 25, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 Just be natural and bring him home, for a short moment, like take some stuff, a cup of coffee etc. Slowly, the appearance becomes more frequent...The best part comes - if your bf and your family members can click, then once your bf appearance becomes lesser, your parents may asked" Eh, how come so long didn't see so and so liao?" Good Luck pal!!Good idea :thumb: Thanks Thorzguy I'll try your method. Hope my parents will like my bf.Also thanks all for the advice and helps Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ah Poon Posted July 26, 2011 Report Share Posted July 26, 2011 I'm thinking to bring my bf home and introduce him to my parents.Just wonder how you guys have done that successfully without making a big mess. Please advise.Thanks Haha. Better be discreet. This is singapore not ang moh country hor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Man40s Posted July 26, 2011 Report Share Posted July 26, 2011 Firstly invite him over and introduce him as a best friend.Observe your family reaction towards him. Are they able to communicate and make him feel warm?If they treat him well, bring him home more often and slowly open up to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vin8tan Posted July 26, 2011 Report Share Posted July 26, 2011 I'm thinking to bring my bf home and introduce him to my parents.Just wonder how you guys have done that successfully without making a big mess. Please advise.Thanks The question should be, are your parents even ok with you being gay? If they aren't it would be unfair to introduce your partner into the family, only to be judged/shocked by someone else.If they are, then how about arrange for them to meet in a social setting before bringing him home. It can be anything you always do together as a family, grocery shopping, going to the market, sunday brunch. Ask if a friend could join us, and see how it goes from there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alien Posted July 26, 2011 Report Share Posted July 26, 2011 (edited) The question should be, are your parents even ok with you being gay? If they aren't it would be unfair to introduce your partner into the family, only to be judged/shocked by someone else.If they are, then how about arrange for them to meet in a social setting before bringing him home. It can be anything you always do together as a family, grocery shopping, going to the market, sunday brunch. Ask if a friend could join us, and see how it goes from there.I wld think bring a "friend" together as a family in grocery shopping, going to market and sunday brunch wld be a bit obvious tht the so called "friend" is just some common or normal friend. If i have just a normal guy friend, even he is my gd friend, i also dun think i will bring him along to such activity with my family.Some theory like, if u bring a guy friend to ur family gathering or celebration like parent, grandmother or grandfather's birthday etc, anyone in the family or relative shld be easily or suspect the relationship btw u and the guy something is not right. Edited July 26, 2011 by alien 对自己好是一种幸福, 对别人好是一种积福。 Spend time counting your blessings, not airing your complaints. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wesley Posted July 26, 2011 Report Share Posted July 26, 2011 I wld think bring a "friend" together as a family in grocery shopping, going to market and Sunday brunch wld be a bit obvious tht the so called "friend" is just some common or normal friend. If i have just a normal guy friend, even he is my gd friend, i also dun think i will bring him along to such activity with my family.Some theory like, if u bring a guy friend to ur family gathering or celebration like parent, grandmother or grandfather's birthday etc, anyone in the family or relative shld be easily or suspect the relationship btw u and the guy something is not right. Interesting you chose the words "... anyone in the family or relative shld be easily or suspect the relationship btw u and the guy something is not right"My experience is that my Singaporean bf's family is able to see how happy we are and how we lovingly support and complement each other. I feel very fortunate. The family has been over to our house. We have a 3 room HDB and the front room is rented out to another AJ so that doesn't leave much to the imagination when you count 3 people but only two beds.Hugs and kisses Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vin8tan Posted July 27, 2011 Report Share Posted July 27, 2011 I wld think bring a "friend" together as a family in grocery shopping, going to market and sunday brunch wld be a bit obvious tht the so called "friend" is just some common or normal friend. If i have just a normal guy friend, even he is my gd friend, i also dun think i will bring him along to such activity with my family.Some theory like, if u bring a guy friend to ur family gathering or celebration like parent, grandmother or grandfather's birthday etc, anyone in the family or relative shld be easily or suspect the relationship btw u and the guy something is not right.But that's kind of my point. They won't kick up a big fuzz or reject you and your partner outright. So you can almost just sit there and observe people's reactions, are your parents totally against the idea, cool with it. If they are fuming, then won't it be wise to not introduce him back hom so soon, and take it slow? Every move has to be carefully calculated and planned for. Not planning is planning to fail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dicky Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 Firstly invite him over and introduce him as a best friend.Observe your family reaction towards him. Are they able to communicate and make him feel warm?If they treat him well, bring him home more often and slowly open up to them.Hi man40s, I'm keen in u.. Pls add me indianajone7@hotmail.comHi man40s, I'm keen in u.. Pls add me indianajone7@hotmail.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abang Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 Before anything happens, ask yourself whether a. is your family ready to discuss or accept your gay life?b. is this person/bf "acceptable" to them? c. is he really the right man?I had it a little simpler as the men of my life were mainly GWMs. Due to communication barriers, the interaction between my parents and the man/men had always been minimal. Furthermore, most parents (then) still had a little more respect for the well-mannered GWMs - mine were lawyers, doctors or bankers...I invited Joe over for reunion dinner in 2001. He's an accounting man, sort of a CFO for a big pharmy company. I discussed the invitation to both my mother and him prior to the event itself. My mother was more excited than me because Joe and I had gone on holidays together before they met. She even had an ang-bao for him. On Joe's side, I told him just to be himself. Just treat my mother as the congenial aunty from the pantry - be nice and polite.Of course, Joe continued to drop by regularly for dinners thereafter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 I'm thinking to bring my bf home and introduce him to my parents.Just wonder how you guys have done that successfully without making a big mess. Please advise.Thanks before u bring yr bf to see yr parents .i suggest both of u go to a photo studio and do as a loving couple photo shots first. when the day to see yr parents bring those photo along , am sure yr parents understand without uttering any words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommykid Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 Hmm. I did not "officially" intro my ex-BF to my parents. I just brought him over as my "friend" and slowly they accepted the fact of this friend coming over to stay and all. We eventually invited both sides of parents for dinner together on the basis that we are "friends".Unless you are ready to tell them.. I have not told my family but I guess with the frequently of how my ex stays over last time.. they roughly can tell I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
briax Posted August 14, 2011 Report Share Posted August 14, 2011 @21 yo, army mate@31 yo. , best colleague@41 yo, best friend@51 yo, shut up dun ask.Actually the best way for me is not only bringing bf home but also where possible hint that you are spending alot of time with him, talk about him purposely and bring him home. It is easier for my mom to accept him if she has an idea what type of person he is. Beside my mom alreeady know. She just asked my bf the other day if we broke up cos i had a bad day. At least for her. I think she is more concerned if i am in a stable relationship with a good person. Facebook.com/Bryan Choong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fab Posted August 15, 2011 Report Share Posted August 15, 2011 lucky u. 鍾意就好,理佢男定女 never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want. 结缘不结怨 解怨不解缘 After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say. 看穿不说穿 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deceptiveeyes.deceivingminds Posted August 18, 2011 Report Share Posted August 18, 2011 Don't crack your head.Just bring him back, introduce him to your family or whoever is around ...and carry on as usual.In time to come, when he comes more often, it would be understood. No need to broadcast like in a heterosexual relationship ..."Pa, Ma, this is my boyfriend or this is my girlfriend". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2011 Report Share Posted August 18, 2011 Agreed with the above.. why complicate life..Gay life is complicated enough..if both of u are happily liviely your life each day, enjoy the moment and be contented..let things fall in as it goes along.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
briax Posted August 18, 2011 Report Share Posted August 18, 2011 (edited) Or you can ask your parents if they are keen to know. Just recently i was talking to a friend and he shared with that the idea of coming out do not work for all families. Some parents find their own ways to deal and understand sons sexuality. If you tell them too sudden, it disrupts the process and direct confrontations can sometimes be unpleasant.Perhaps in our setting you can first drop hint, and if your parents are sensitive enough they will know. Of your parents are prepared to be open and accepting, chances are they are more keen to know that their son is with someone genuine. I never come out to my mom despite of numerous chances she offer. Guess i have my issues to work out but she certainly indicated her approval of my relationship when she said she dun mind moving overseas to live with me and my partner if that is what we plan.our parents have their unique ways to say yes n no. You know best. Edited August 18, 2011 by briax Facebook.com/Bryan Choong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue69heaven Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 jus like good fren....my bf jus said im him good fren...thenn slowly slowly i often went his hse,stay over,sometimes he's not around i also stay thr,him family,mom,kids all also accept me...but they never ask... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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