Seeking Life Advice

[biolab00]

Hi people.

First, I must clarify that what I had written here is truly my present situation and i will truly appreciate that I can be taken seriously and not to be treated as a fool.

Before i move on to how i became 23 years old without friends, I must first describe myself as an anti-social person with an inferiority complex during my secondary school years.

During the course of the 6 years after graduating from secondary school until now, I had face alot of people - some comment on my anti-social personality, some bullied me due to my inferiority complex, some helped me because of my anti-social personality which makes them feel that I am pitiful, and many others. All of these people through various circumstances made me opened and gave me the proactive initiative to change myself which I am proud to say that I am definitely not who i was in the past.

It is because that I became more aware, more relaxed, and more open in my attitude that I came to realise I do not truly have any note-worthy friends around my age. All the friends which I have now are my former colleagues who are in their forties or late thirties and have responsibilities towards their family, their children and parents and I am aware that they are definitely friends but not the really kind of friends that I am unable to really describe.

I wish to take a more proactive step in making friends now. However, it just doesn't quite work if you just go up to any person and say, "hey, let's be friends." I am pretty sure that i will be weirded out instantly. Yet I am someone who work every single day from monday to sunday 0900hrs to 1700hrs at the minimum. Yes i am even working now as of writing this because I am free at the moment. Because of the feeling that I felt after-work, I felt prompted to do something about it.

I will greatly appreciate that if any recommendation from community work to activities to sports ie; running - my limit is only at half-marathon which infact I have to walk for a little while after the first 5 km run. I do not require advice on changing myself to take a more positive outlook or advice in opening up myself etc because I felt that I had these qualities now but I truly require the advice on where to start.

Because i am posting my question in bw, I have to state that this post is meant solely on the purpose on finding noteworthy friends [ friendship ] and not LTR [ love-relationship ] based on my effort through the recommendation based on the above community work etc which you may already have in-mind and felt that if i try, I may stand a chance to make mentioned noteworthy friends based on my effort.

Thank you in advance people for your kind attention and help.

Edited August 6, 2011 by biolab00

[GachiMuchi]

Pls do ur search for friends in the Personal Folder, unless u want us to discuss about ur problem in the forum.

[derryfawne]

Isn't this thread itself a big fat "hey, let's be friends."?

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Anyway, to make new friends, you just have to start talking to them. Strike a convo... you will recognize them, they will recognize you, and if both of you are compatible and have common topics, you'll be friends with them in a short time. It would be rude for them not to respond to you when you're talking to them, anyway. Just make sure that you're not invading their personal time when doing so and that the topic of conversation should not be too random/awkward.

Also, try to hang out or attend social events with your friends. The chance of you hitting your friends' friends, and be introduced to them, is very high. It is also quite likely that these are similar-minded people, and that you can fit in with these newly-met people quite easily.

[pusheenpika]

Isn't this thread itself a big fat "hey, let's be friends."?

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Anyway, to make new friends, you just have to start talking to them. Strike a convo... you will recognize them, they will recognize you, and if both of you are compatible and have common topics, you'll be friends with them in a short time. It would be rude for them not to respond to you when you're talking to them, anyway. Just make sure that you're not invading their personal time when doing so and that the topic of conversation should not be too random/awkward.

Also, try to hang out or attend social events with your friends. The chance of you hitting your friends' friends, and be introduced to them, is very high. It is also quite likely that these are similar-minded people, and that you can fit in with these newly-met people quite easily.

Hey Derry, let's be friends? haha.

Well. I totally agree with Derry. Start with small groups which I feel are more intimate. When you're bolder, expand your horizons and go for the bigger gatherings.

I never really like to go for any gathering with more than 10 people. Feel kinda weird. But that's just me.

[derryfawne]

I never really like to go for any gathering with more than 10 people. Feel kinda weird. But that's just me.

I understand your point.

I tend to find it more comfortable to be around a mid-sized number of people. 3-4 people is nice, 5-7 is just about good if I'm meeting new people... if too crowded, too many people gone unnoticed.

PS. I just recently read from a book. For you people who usually are shy in parties, or are coming to a gathering with only a few people you know... it's natural that you just want to arrive late and let it be over soon, but DON'T. In fact, try to arrive really early at gatherings. You'll get to know some other early-comers (who are still alone, bored, and waiting for their buddies to come) better. And from there, these other early-comers can introduce you to their buddies, and your network of friends get expanded even further. Haven't tried this myself, but it sure sounds convincing.

[pusheenpika]

I understand your point.

I tend to find it more comfortable to be around a mid-sized number of people. 3-4 people is nice, 5-7 is just about good if I'm meeting new people... if too crowded, too many people gone unnoticed.

PS. I just recently read from a book. For you people who usually are shy in parties, or are coming to a gathering with only a few people you know... it's natural that you just want to arrive late and let it be over soon, but DON'T. In fact, try to arrive really early at gatherings. You'll get to know some other early-comers (who are still alone, bored, and waiting for their buddies to come) better. And from there, these other early-comers can introduce you to their buddies, and your network of friends get expanded even further. Haven't tried this myself, but it sure sounds convincing.

That's a damn good tip! No wonder you were early on Thu.... Now I know why.. haha.

[derryfawne]

That's a damn good tip! No wonder you were early on Thu.... Now I know why.. haha.

That one was because I've never been around that area before, scared I get lost and late to the celebration lol. I had to walk all the way from MRT too, so I allocated extra travelling time.

But I guess it did somehow work too haha.

Edited August 7, 2011 by derryfawne

[biolab00]

This post is edited after I read my PM about a certain somebody providing me his profound perspective.

Thank you very much for your kind help.

If any GM is around, you may close this topic because my answer had been found.

Thank you.

Edited August 7, 2011 by biolab00

[Guest Queer Rabbit]

Hi people.

Thank you in advance people for your kind attention and help.

YOu might want to volunteer in Oogachaga, you get to meet many queer people young and old. Besides, did you join their queer bus and ply the scene of Singapore gay spots? You can't make friends overnight, it is a long process which involve failures and success. That is part and parcel of gay life. Some people reached their golden years and still remain single, nothing is guaranteed.

[GachiMuchi]

This post is edited after I read my PM about a certain somebody providing me his profound perspective. Thank you very much for your kind help. If any GM is around, you may close this topic because my answer had been found. Thank you.

If it could help those like yourself to be enlightened, why don't u post his PM so that others can be enlightened too?