To Sex Or Not To Sex

[Guest Jade Clean Ice Clear]

Hello BW friends. I attach to my boyfriend since 2010 nov and until now I didn't have sex with him till now (it's true). I have stopped visiting sauna for him and I have not been touching another penis since I with my bf. Even my ex (who I loved last time) wanted me to be his f**k buddy but got rejected by me. And also, my company wants us to take medical test annually and I am free from any disease. That is another reason why I want to keep my clean body for my bf.

Personally I love to keep my body for him but well...sometimes it's body over mind. I don't know how long can I hang on to this. I like to seek opinion or just simple a remark from friends here in BW. Serious opinion and remark only and thank you.

[snowball]

you ever ask him why? sex or not is between you both, you don't need to ask advice here, cos the key in holding in your bf's hands now.

[gaycurious85]

You've been in a relationship for months (since 2010) and you have not had sex with him? is it because he has some sexual diseases? I can not think of any other reason. unless he lives in another country.

after reading many posts about STI and HIV, I find you're very very lucky to be free from sexual diseases (but are u sure? normally company do blood test only detect hiv, other diseases like herpes, warts, syphilis... are not detected, hence u may have those diseases but u may not know. if you go sauna, there is very very high chance that you are infected with these sexual diseases. not that I curse you, but it's the truth)

But like you said, sometimes sex is irresistible. there are 2 ways to deal with it:

1/ you have super strong self discipline and can control from meeting people for sex.

2/ do complete safe sex: use condom even for blow job and handjob.

Again, why are you not having sex with your bf?

[Guest Jade Clean Ice Clear]

But like you said, sometimes sex is irresistible. there are 2 ways to deal with it:

1/ you have super strong self discipline and can control from meeting people for sex.

2/ do complete safe sex: use condom even for blow job and handjob.

Again, why are you not having sex with your bf?

The main thing is place. We do not have our own place and we don't go to hotel. We touched each other's penis before but those were in taxi (discreetly) or when hugging at east coast. I don't want to sound like a slut by asking "why until now you still haven't have sex with me!" :oops:

Ask for your advice of safe sex...it's not about safe or raw sex. It's about faithfulness. In PLU world, if we have it with someone else while attached but without out bf knowing (because to release urge only), is that considered ok?

[Guest Public Sex]

The main thing is place. We do not have our own place and we don't go to hotel. We touched each other's penis before but those were in taxi (discreetly) or when hugging at east coast. I don't want to sound like a slut by asking "why until now you still haven't have sex with me!" :oops:

Ask for your advice of safe sex...it's not about safe or raw sex. It's about faithfulness. In PLU world, if we have it with someone else while attached but without out bf knowing (because to release urge only), is that considered ok?

Public Sex lorr.... East Coast near Fort Road... Plus... There are the toilets o.O

[XmasMint]

Hello BW friends. I attach to my boyfriend since 2010 nov and until now I didn't have sex with him till now (it's true). I have stopped visiting sauna for him and I have not been touching another penis since I with my bf. Even my ex (who I loved last time) wanted me to be his f**k buddy but got rejected by me. And also, my company wants us to take medical test annually and I am free from any disease. That is another reason why I want to keep my clean body for my bf.

Personally I love to keep my body for him but well...sometimes it's body over mind. I don't know how long can I hang on to this. I like to seek opinion or just simple a remark from friends here in BW. Serious opinion and remark only and thank you.

A relationship should not revolve around having sex with your partner. Sex should only be a part of a relationship but not the focus of it. If it is, the relationship's foundation is built solely upon lust. It is good if you are free from any sexual diseases and that you are trying to abstain from having fun with others. If you don't trust your company's annual medical health checkup, you can visit the DSC clinic(www.dsc-sexualhealth.com.sg) to get tested. You can be rest assured that your sexually healthy when your given a clean bill of health by the doctors there.

Try to maintain your efforts for the sake of your own sexual health as well as ur bf's sexual health. I am sure you don't wish to contract a disease and pass it on to him. Please don't let your mind run wild with sexual thoughts with others. Speak to your bf as to why he doesn't want to have sex with you but try not to push your desires onto him as it may cause him to withdraw from you if he is not willing to do it. If you are really horny, you can just self j/o. It is simple,convenient and healthy at the same time as compared to looking for fun at saunas. Remember that if you have fun outside behind your bf's back, you are betraying your bf's trust in you(unless its a open relationship), and at the same time you are exposing yourself to a certain level of risk. Your bf will also be involuntarily dragged into risk zone should you two have sex with each other in future.

So, stay strong and perservere and hopefully when you two have sex, it might be more rewarding in some sense?

Edited August 7, 2011 by XmasMint

[briax]

The main thing is place. We do not have our own place and we don't go to hotel. We touched each other's penis before but those were in taxi (discreetly) or when hugging at east coast. I don't want to sound like a slut by asking "why until now you still haven't have sex with me!" :oops:

Ask for your advice of safe sex...it's not about safe or raw sex. It's about faithfulness. In PLU world, if we have it with someone else while attached but without out bf knowing (because to release urge only), is that considered ok?

I think many couples have the stress when they do not have a place for themselves. How about going on a short trip overseas to have some quality couple time? You dun have to have SEX the way people see sex as, I am sure you can figure how to express intimacy in your own way.

You can start by asking him gently about the significance of sex in his relationship and your definition. As for your question on whether it is "normal" to have sex outside the relationship, I am sure different people have different answers to that. And sex also means different thing to people. This is a issue between two persons, and you have to talk to him about it before you "explode".

Edited August 7, 2011 by briax

[Guest Jade Clean Ice Clear]

So, stay strong and perservere and hopefully when you two have sex, it might be more rewarding in some sense?

Thank you XmasMint.

Can any of you guys share about what you are doing to control the urge for sex when your bf is not around? I thank you in advance.

[XmasMint]

Thank you XmasMint.

Can any of you guys share about what you are doing to control the urge for sex when your bf is not around? I thank you in advance.

Keep yourself busy. Do you have any interests/hobbies? Take up one if you don't. Doing things that you like helps speeding time up and your day will be over before you know it. Although it is a bit far fetched, you can try doing volunteer work if you are really that bored .

[Guest mm]

A relationship should not revolve around having sex with your partner. Sex should only be a part of a relationship but not the focus of it. If it is, the relationship's foundation is built solely upon lust.

True. But I believe sex is one of the factor that contributes to a healthy relationship. Its like a connection between two parties to be as close to each other and to feel each other's touch, like a form of acceptance. Haha. And of course, it boils down to trust and being faithful in monogamous relationships.

If you're not having sex with your partner, it might mean that he's not ready, or there's something that's keeping him from having sex with you. Like Snowball said, ultimately u need to talk it out to your partner about it.

[Guest mm]

Thank you XmasMint.

Can any of you guys share about what you are doing to control the urge for sex when your bf is not around? I thank you in advance.

easiest way is to jerk yourself off then the urge would be gone when u feel drained. haha.

[Guest Ironrod]

easiest way is to jerk yourself off then the urge would be gone when u feel drained. haha.

Then why be attached! Might as well just have a GOOD FRIEND. In fact I LOVE all my good friends just that we don't have sex - so what's the deal with having a bf and still have to JERK OFF YOURSELF?!?!

There is a lot of reasons why some ppl don't have sex

- cannot get hard

- penis too small

- cum too fast

And if a couple don't communicate, then the r/s is meaningless.

You can talk about the world but in the end you will never know what's really in his head.

I think Briax is the most realistic by saying - can't both of u just have a short overseas trip few times a year? Even if it's just to Genting, I think it's great too.

I am also in a long term r/s [like 14+ years] even though we don't have sex have often as we use to be. I still rape his ass occasionally [sometimes while he is sleeping etc] to show i care and still love him hehehehe

[Guest mm]

Then why be attached! Might as well just have a GOOD FRIEND. In fact I LOVE all my good friends just that we don't have sex - so what's the deal with having a bf and still have to JERK OFF YOURSELF?!?!

I mean its to control urself first if you don't want to do anything indecent or be tempted to have fun with other guys! since his bf still don't want to have sex with him, and he doesn't want to be unfaithful also, so just help urself helps ma! lol.

I am also in a long term r/s [like 14+ years] even though we don't have sex have often as we use to be. I still rape his ass occasionally [sometimes while he is sleeping etc] to show i care and still love him hehehehe

wow 14+ is quite long. i envy u haha. how do u rape his ass while he's sleeping? wouldn't it disturb his sleep? hahaha like force entry sia.

[Guest Jade Clean Ice Clear]

since his bf still don't want to have sex with him, and he doesn't want to be unfaithful also, so just help urself helps ma! lol.

Not that my bf doesn't want to have sex with me. The issue is place. We don't have a place so till now we still don't have sex.

[Guest Ironrod]

Not that my bf doesn't want to have sex with me. The issue is place. We don't have a place so till now we still don't have sex.

Go Genting over the weekend lar so cheap and "cooling" lol

[Return]

can book a chalet or go to an aj sauna/spa.. try not to cheat behind your bf's back. imagine how you would feel if he does the same to you. have a wonderful and committed relationship

[briax]

Not that my bf doesn't want to have sex with me. The issue is place. We don't have a place so till now we still don't have sex.

hmmm... i dun mean to be rude. But the lack of a place seemed to be a very odd reason. If the need is so strong, I am quite sure you can work on saving towards a monthly getaway in the cheapest hotel. You can get one at 70 bucks per night. That leaves you with enough time to spend quality time after a dinner, movie or shopping and go back to have a sweet time.

I am also wondering, if you two are struggling with the right to privacy from your family at home. To put it crudely if you dun mind me saying this, giving a BJ or HJ just to have a bit of fun with each other wont take more than 30 min.

[Guest Guest]

The main thing is place. We do not have our own place and we don't go to hotel.

My bf is a widower living with his two secondary shool sons in 2room hdb flat. We dun have privacy because he and u sleep in living hall. We wait till his sons left for school in morning then we have sex. After then we go to work.

[abang]

I want to give you a medal for refraining sex for such a long period.

Sexual interaction is as important and mental interaction.

Please enlighten me what you two had been doing all these time?

I mean, besides shopping, hitting the gym ..where did you two love birds go?

If both of you dont have a place of your own, why dont you try to go a local sauna and

you two can be exclusive to one another. There is definitely no need to mingle with others.

Otherwise, you two should take a break in nearby destinations - I would advise Genting because the cost does not justify it. I would rather recommend you to take a trip to Phuket, Thailand.

Book through Tiger Airways/Jetstar flights, I really do think you two deserve a holiday.

[Guest Jade Clean Ice Clear]

I want to give you a medal for refraining sex for such a long period.

Sexual interaction is as important and mental interaction.

Please enlighten me what you two had been doing all these time?

I mean, besides shopping, hitting the gym ..where did you two love birds go?

If both of you dont have a place of your own, why dont you try to go a local sauna and

you two can be exclusive to one another. There is definitely no need to mingle with others.

You r too kind to giv me a medal. :oops: No sauna. I rather be hungry for my bf's penis than to go to a sauna with him. I don't want my bf to go to these places. I wouldn't want my bf to be somewhere full of "hungry" tigers.

[gaycurious85]

You r too kind to giv me a medal. :oops: No sauna. I rather be hungry for my bf's penis than to go to a sauna with him. I don't want my bf to go to these places. I wouldn't want my bf to be somewhere full of "hungry" tigers.

I dont mind lending u my room (it is filled with seductive decorations, rest assured) to you 2 love birds to spend the night together. I will just sleep silently at one corner. be at your service

[lovehandle]

so noble, i think enjoying seeing rt?

I dont mind lending u my room (it is filled with seductive decorations, rest assured) to you 2 love birds to spend the night together. I will just sleep silently at one corner. be at your service

[lovehandle]

gdness! this is really complicated......

My bf is a widower living with his two secondary shool sons in 2room hdb flat. We dun have privacy because he and u sleep in living hall. We wait till his sons left for school in morning then we have sex. After then we go to work.

[gaycurious85]

My bf is a widower living with his two secondary shool sons in 2room hdb flat. We dun have privacy because he and u sleep in living hall. We wait till his sons left for school in morning then we have sex. After then we go to work.

who send the boys to school? you can help him baby sit the boys, and give them tuition. that is very sweet.

can we know how hold are you, he and the boys?

so lovely family : )

[Guest Guest]

I don't need to babysit them. They are sec 1 and sec 3.

Btw, we sleep separately in living hall and behave like just ordinary friend. I don't want to create unnecessary trouble between him and sons.

[Guest Ironrod]

I don't need to babysit them. They are sec 1 and sec 3.

Btw, we sleep separately in living hall and behave like just ordinary friend. I don't want to create unnecessary trouble between him and sons.

Ermm u got no home?