Challenges Faced By Single Man During In-Camp Training

[Guest Guest]

if u are men or sgt still ok, though some sgt KAH will kena ppl keep asking abt their private lives. if u are officer then gd luck, ppl will wanna know what you do, whether you have gf, u married, ur lives etc etc and they will gossip abt you (yes even str8 guys).

[alien]

if u are men or sgt still ok, though some sgt KAH will kena ppl keep asking abt their private lives. if u are officer then gd luck, ppl will wanna know what you do, whether you have gf, u married, ur lives etc etc and they will gossip abt you (yes even str8 guys).

Y officer?

[alien]

One even tried to drag me to geylang to test whether I am gay. I lied to them I am a vegetarian practicing monkhood. Gosh!! I was so lame and everyone was shocked but they laugh and knew I lied, but they let me off.

Even u go geyang with them, how they know whether u gay or str8? Not tht they go into the rm n see u fuck the gal.

[kee_hsiao]

actually just say 不是不要，是时机未到。

[Tachyons]

I will be going for my reservist in June and I am still single. Going to be a hectic one.

[alien]

actually just say 不是不要，是时机未到。

No one will believe, esp if ur camp mates are the same from active unit until reservist, n when all of them are married with kids, n u r still single. Something must be wrong some where.

[Guest Guest]

Same batch from active unit till reservist is the worst when it comes to this issue.

But the 'lucky ones' are those who start reservist very early and can end the 10 yr cycle as early as 31, 32 yo. Being single or 'not married' at that age is very normal now and can say just broke up too.

[alien]

Same batch from active unit till reservist is the worst when it comes to this issue.

But the 'lucky ones' are those who start reservist very early and can end the 10 yr cycle as early as 31, 32 yo. Being single or 'not married' at that age is very normal now and can say just broke up too.

Even if ur reservist end at early 30s, but if u still keep in touch or bump onto each other in the street, when they ask if u r married, the problem still come back lor. Edited May 26, 2013 by alien

[Guest Guest]

Even if ur reservist end at early 30s, but if u still keep in touch or bump onto each other in the street, when they ask if u r married, the problem still come back lor.

not everyone keep in touch, those closer ones try coming out to them lor lol

ending reservist at early 30s is really the best, dun have to think abt ict anymore for the rest of ur life. i heard some people only start 1st ict at 31yo!

[alien]

not everyone keep in touch, those closer ones try coming out to them lor lol

ending reservist at early 30s is really the best, dun have to think abt ict anymore for the rest of ur life. i heard some people only start 1st ict at 31yo!

It all depends on which unit u r in. If ur ns and reservist same pple and unit, more likely u wld finish 10 yr reservist at early 30s. If u join other new unit during ur reservist, usually u will start late. But I have some friends already 30s liao and yet still no news on reservist, how come so gd?

Anyway if those who still keep in touch, no need to come out to them n i believe they also wld suspect n guess.

[Denning]

Almost all of my ICT mates are married with kids.

We were from the same ORD cohort.

Every year for the past 10yrs, they would ask about my life.

I created stories, from being engaged, to broken up, to being single again.

Luckily, it was the final ICT and we entered into MR list.

No more Hamilton watches!

[Denning]

Even u go geyang with them, how they know whether u gay or str8? Not tht they go into the rm n see u fuck the gal.

Must try to follow what they do lor.

learnt so much vulgaries from them.

they like to cb here and there, lj here n there.

Their dialects are so amazingly fluent.

And they do go Geylang to 'long' behind their wives' back.

Edited May 27, 2013 by Denning

[Guest Guest]

I created stories, from being engaged, to broken up, to being single again.

 

 

understandable. but creating stories is so tiring, even have to take note and rmb what you have told this person, and what you have told another person etc.

[Denning]

understandable. but creating stories is so tiring, even have to take note and rmb what you have told this person, and what you have told another person etc.

Well, try to keep to the same plot - had gf, broke off, now single again and will continue to be single.

but i did have trouble when it came to booking out. They wanted to give me lift back and i had to resist, citing friend/cousin/ relative coming to pick up.

then when another of them asked to share cab, i had to tell him i no longer stayed at the usual place.

If they were to gossip abt this, it would be game over for me.

i did realise that str8 men do gossip. they gossiped on so and so borrowing $, so n so always mixing with a 'certain type of ppl' and therefore must be gay...

Edited May 27, 2013 by Denning

[Guest Guest]

but i did have trouble when it came to booking out. They wanted to give me lift back and i had to resist, citing friend/cousin/ relative coming to pick up.

then when another of them asked to share cab, i had to tell him i no longer stayed at the usual place.

 

 

why? bf picked you up?

[Denning]

yea, tactically. I would ask him to come 20-30mins later after 'main body' had left.

[Guest yolander]

Isn't it about time the army come out with a rule defining how army personnel can fraternise, even between male and male if there are somethings you want to keep private , you should be compelled to say it,

 

and if a person feel his privacy is invaded , he can use the anti fraternising rule to seek redress

[Guest Guest]

Must try to follow what they do lor.

learnt so much vulgaries from them.

they like to cb here and there, lj here n there.

Their dialects are so amazingly fluent.

And they do go Geylang to 'long' behind their wives' back.

Hmm, infidelity during ICT? I hope their wives are reading this.

[Guest 3rd incamp]

During my last in-camp, there was this signal guy posted from another unit who was also single.  We clicked well and after he found out that I was single, he kept asking me why.  I blahed out some excuses:  my gf is posted and stationed overseas .... After the in-camp, he called me and invited me for a drink and drove me to Ford Road.  I pretend innocent and played along the line.  That night, just before he dropped me off at my place, he tapped on my shoulder and said:  "I tot you're gay too but you're not.  However, you got the potential to be a bi"  

 

I was like laughing inside my stomach.   The reason is that He is cute but not my type.

[Guest Guest]

Met a lot of married men during ICT. Most were disillusioned & not happy about the demand of their wives, children & costs of living.

Most used ICT as a break from their own stressful lives. They liked the camaraderie and being relax & be themselves.

It was very brotherly in the beginning but some got too touchy & feely that it's almost homoerotic. I was pretty annoyed when my married Pl Sgt grabbed me below while I was returning stores. It was unexpected & humiliating.

[Guest Guest]

Met a lot of married men during ICT. Most were disillusioned & not happy about the demand of their wives, children & costs of living.

Most used ICT as a break from their own stressful lives. They liked the camaraderie and being relax & be themselves.

It was very brotherly in the beginning but some got too touchy & feely that it's almost homoerotic. I was pretty annoyed when my married Pl Sgt grabbed me below while I was returning stores. It was unexpected & humiliating.

So he or they know u are gay?

[Guest Guest]

So he or they know u are gay?

Curious but 'testing the water'. Some offered to fetch & send me home on a daily basis & asked about my gf.

They would also invite me to join them for shower during camping, which I declined.

Anyway, I just to to finish my ICT & pass my IPPT. I did not bother with other thoughts or possibilities

[Guest Guest]

During my last in-camp, there was this signal guy posted from another unit who was also single. We clicked well and after he found out that I was single, he kept asking me why. I blahed out some excuses: my gf is posted and stationed overseas .... After the in-camp, he called me and invited me for a drink and drove me to Ford Road. I pretend innocent and played along the line. That night, just before he dropped me off at my place, he tapped on my shoulder and said: "I tot you're gay too but you're not. However, you got the potential to be a bi"

I was like laughing inside my stomach. The reason is that He is cute but not my type.

interesting but why dun let him know? cos you can tell hes interested in you?

so much better to have a companion and a buddy with common thoughts for in camp trainings.

[Guest Guest]

Curious but 'testing the water'. Some offered to fetch & send me home on a daily basis & asked about my gf.

They would also invite me to join them for shower during camping, which I declined.

Anyway, I just to to finish my ICT & pass my IPPT. I did not bother with other thoughts or possibilities

i think some pple offered to send home out of good will and we think too much.

but the invite you for shower is lol, are u damn obvious or just cos you are single?

[Denning]

Hmm, infidelity during ICT? I hope their wives are reading this.

it was merely gossip on infidelity; no actual infidelity was commited.

But the gossip did sound kinky - Squeezing breasts ( tek nek nek) , how to get foc condom from the chicks (by saying Wa bo Loong)

[Guest Guest]

Good discussion. Can more guys or best those who hv completed your reservist cycle share how to go about handling this issue. Unfortunately not everyone of us want the whole world to know that we are gay.

[Denning]

Good discussion. Can more guys or best those who hv completed your reservist cycle share how to go about handling this issue. Unfortunately not everyone of us want the whole world to know that we are gay.

Tips:

dont oversocialise with ict ppl cos the more u do, they more they will ask. Stick to small group if possible.

Create a credible story that holds water

Finally, even if u have the best plot but is consistently seen with picha ppl, yr credibility is lost.

though ict mates wont gossip to you, they will sure gossip OF u.

eg Hey, do u know so n so? always see him with this gr of ppl. And if the listener says Yea, i also see so n so with so n so picha ppl, game is over. no need to hide already

[Guest Guest]

Good discussion. Can more guys or best those who hv completed your reservist cycle share how to go about handling this issue. Unfortunately not everyone of us want the whole world to know that we are gay.

Just be focus on completing the ICT without any glitch.

Be nice but keep your distance if you do think others are getting too chummy for your comfort.

Section mates are likely to compare notes about you if you are in your 30s, dun have a galfriend & not married.

There are also straight ones who fall into this categories but few.

If you are neat, clean & sensitive, they would suspect that you are not straight.

 

If you are officer & above, things not so bad but subordinates will talk behind your back if your mannerism is too obvious.

[Guest Guest]

If you are officer & above, things not so bad but subordinates will talk behind your back if your mannerism is too obvious.

 

i think officer will get it worse, much more pple will talk about you. if u are not the type that can withstand gossips, you might feel terrible.

[Guest Guest]

i think some pple offered to send home out of good will and we think too much.

but the invite you for shower is lol, are u damn obvious or just cos you are single?

If you live in Jurong & your camp is in Changi,  those that offered to pick you up stay in Central.

Isn't that very out of the way? I told them dun bother.

Yes, one was straight towkays & are keen to offer me a job.

The others asked me quite personal questions like whether I have a galfriend or not.

When I told them 'no', they refused to believe.

As for the shower, I was very uncomfortable, too.

I guess some of my section mates were very comfortable with me & I treated them like the brothers I never had.

Showering together is like a ritual of being accepted, of being inclusive.

I guess it's a way of checking if my package below matched my appearance. hehe.

But I had no interest to check out their 'jewels' because they are married & it's ICT.

[Guest Guest]

is it really possible to lie to cover up? nowadays everyone link to each other thru fb and sg is a small country, sure gt common friends....

 

also not possible to be anti social and dun interact with other nsmen

[Guest 72%dark]

Your reservist mates really dont care. Back when I was still doing reservist, I served in division HQ. average age is 30 to 38 years old. Believe me, there are more interesting things to chat about than their wives and kids.

This wasn't my experience... Was posted back into unit after a long absence and the camp mates i knew from before were mostly newly married with their first or second child just born. So for them this was the new focus of their life (besides work lah, which admittedly was also a big concern for the mid-career age group), so a lot of the chit chat and catching up was about wife and kids... And i was one of the few odd ones out, still 'single', and always felt awkward when the conversation turned to me. Could tell that people were curious; luckily most of them were not so openly kaypoh, but who knows what they speculated behind my back.

I think it's easy to say, don't be ashamed of being gay, just be open with your camp mates, etc, but i think it depends on what kind of people your camp mates are - those who are more worldly may be more accustomed to and have a more realistic idea of what it means to be gay, but those who are more 'sheltered' (let's put it that way) may have some exaggerated ideas. Like how some of my camp mates would make crude jokes about 'ah guas', crossdressers, "半男半女", demeaning stuff like how gays will suck any cock that comes along... Even though it might seem easy to condemn it, it sometimes has to be reconciled with the fact that many of these guys are in other ways good, upstanding men that you respect, who just may not know better. And not to mention the internal struggle you feel, if i out myself will i lose their support? In certain units/vocations, not having the support of your platoon mates makes the training/exercise that much more tiresome.