Would You Date Someone Of Different Ethnicity? + Will You Consider Interracial Relationships? E.g. Chinese Guy With Indian Boyfriend(Compiled)

[Boo]

I personally don't really care, lol!

[Guest Guest]

Preference is preference and that is a fact of life.

 

For example, you might prefer chicken to fish or Pepsi to Coke. Of course these examples are simplistic when applied to humans. What I am trying to say is that people naturally have preferences, what is sad is when the preferences come out as prejudice.

 

You might find that some people will not take to you but I am equally sure that there will be lots of people who like you for who you are whether it be for a partner or friend.

 

Having said that, perhaps its best to get this thought out of your mind - it can potentially alter you way of thinking and stop you from making friends when you can?

[ah_butt]

it doesn't matter la. People only care about face, bod and dick size.

couldnt agree more  :clap:  :clap:  :clap:

[glowingember]

It doesn't matter.

Life's too short.

It's their loss.

[darkflame]

It doesn't matter. In fact, it makes our love life much juicier. 

[keyboard]

Answering both your questions,

"Does It Matter If Your Significant Other Is From Different Race?
But still, is it possible to find someone who won't mind what race you come from and just love you for who you are?"

 

Yes and Yes.

 

I do too much explaining in my life, and I don't like having to explain or think about things when I want to crack a joke or watch say non-english news together. I have dated other races and the biggest thing I have is some religion/families who don't "accept" their sexuality, thus there's no way they will bring you back to their homes to meet mom-and-dad. It's like your significant other is on the death bed and you're not allowed to see him because you don't exist.

 

If you were given an easy road and a tough road, most people will choose the easy road. What will make your tough road the choice at the end of the day, is dependent on how well you seem to appear to the other. Everyone is loved, in one way or another. Be it your kindness, your toughness, ah bengness, or ah lianness, charisma, physique, humour, brain or simply dick size. If you have a big one, wave it openly and see who catches your interest. Have fun while at it!

[iamziz]

I for one have been at the receiving end of this. I have come to learn that most people here and on dating apps are very shallow. The moment i reveal my race, they will usually not continue with the conversation. It's like an instant stereotype. Well, i guess i just learned to cope with it. The rejection used hurt a lot at first. Getting rejected just because you're of a deferring race. Getting judged just because i'm of a different skin tone. 

 

I can relate to that. If anyone asks me what is my race, I would tell them 'Race Human'. Of course there are rude people who would call me a nigga. Whatever it is, as glowingember put it

 

It doesn't matter.

Life's too short.

It's their loss.

 

Perhaps those who put race as the fundamental have their own definitions of love/commitment with race being a factor. Many are so uptight about someone's race that they lose the opportunity to see life in a bigger picture. 

 

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character." 

— Martin Luther King Jr.

 

Edited August 29, 2013 by iamziz

[IkuTube]

Don't be a prisoner of your own thought and do not fall victim to generalization to be the norm.  It is the way we think that limits opportunities.  It is the conviction in what we believe that will close all possibilities.  If you want to be free, if you want things to happen, you have to set your thought free.

 

While inter-racial relationship is not rampant, it does not mean that it does not exist.  I have friends, and some in my family, whom are in inter-racial relationship/marriages, didn't even think about it when it happened.  Were they targetting a different race?  No!  Were they taken off guard when it happened?  The beauty is in acceptance.

 

I like the phrase used by Wesley (post #10) where he said "Until you get to that mindset".  This is a very strong affirmation.  Until you get to that mindset, cloz8dude that things will start to happen.  Do not allow the superficiality in society to stop the wondrous aspects of life.

[zwei]

I have problems with indians:( and pinoy ... I dont know maybe because those that I have met are assholes... lol

[Guest Curiousnazrul]

I think the great issue we have is that we tend to use the notion of having our own preferences as an excuse for a certain degree of racism. It isn't a new concept when you have ethnocentric views with regards to people of other races, and how such people are beneath you in a certain way. When we have this notion that "my culture is better than yours" or "my race is more superior", we tend to gravitate towards others that belong to the same in-group as us. Although on a normal day, and in a normal setting, we do not think ourselves as racist, we cannot deny the fact that some of us do feel superior to others, and react in that exact way by choosing people similar to us to date, or mingle with. We shouldn't hide behind this notion that our cultures differ, or that there are a great many differences between a malay gay man to a chinese gay man, or an indian gay man to a chinese gay man because by being gay, we have already gotten out of the box and "rebelled" against the shackles that bind us. We have created our own culture and we dictate our own lives. Gays are similar no matter what race or culture we are from because at the end of the day, we speak the same language; we all like dicks and want men for our partners. I am mixed; my father is malay and my mother is a chinese but I was raised in the malay culture although I do not identify with any culture at all now, and I am attached to a wonderful chinese boy who isn't shackled by cultural concerns. As a couple, we speak the same language and we have not had much problems in terms of our cultures. In fact, in more ways than one, my partner is more Malay than I am. Haha. I think that as gays, we are already miserable enough having to grapple with societal rejection and the dearth of good candidates to share our lives with. i feel that we should not limit ourselves to a certain racial group, or fixate or prioritise superficial attributes. A good man who will spend your life with you does not necessarily have to be a hunk or a gorgeous person, or of a certain racial group for that matter. A good man is one with a good heart, a good attitude, and has his priorities in good order. Furthermore, we are Singaporeans. Why talk about culture? We have none. We are so intertwined as a nation, and as a people that we all know each other's cultures quite keenly.

[Phil]

Don't be a prisoner of your own thought and do not fall victim to generalization to be the norm.  It is the way we think that limits opportunities.  It is the conviction in what we believe that will close all possibilities.  If you want to be free, if you want things to happen, you have to set your thought free.

 

While inter-racial relationship is not rampant, it does not mean that it does not exist.  I have friends, and some in my family, whom are in inter-racial relationship/marriages, didn't even think about it when it happened.  Were they targetting a different race?  No!  Were they taken off guard when it happened?  The beauty is in acceptance.

 

I like the phrase used by Wesley (post #10) where he said "Until you get to that mindset".  This is a very strong affirmation.  Until you get to that mindset, cloz8dude that things will start to happen.  Do not allow the superficiality in society to stop the wondrous aspects of life.

 

I totally agree.

And yes, interracial rs exist! I know that...   And I did not target anything.

To TS: no, I don't mind!

[abang]

I have always tried to be colour-blind and nationality-blind when it comes to ordinary friends.

But for the significant other half, I have to be choosy.

No I wont turn away/down an potential bf just because of his colour/race.

 

I am definitely more concern about the compatibility, the level in which we complement each other.

So what if he is Malay, Indian, Eurasian.. what is more important to be is his personality.

Having said that, physical attraction and bedroom matters do count.

[hotlongboy]

I think the great issue we have is that we tend to use the notion of having our own preferences as an excuse for a certain degree of racism. It isn't a new concept when you have ethnocentric views with regards to people of other races, and how such people are beneath you in a certain way. When we have this notion that "my culture is better than yours" or "my race is more superior", we tend to gravitate towards others that belong to the same in-group as us. Although on a normal day, and in a normal setting, we do not think ourselves as racist, we cannot deny the fact that some of us do feel superior to others, and react in that exact way by choosing people similar to us to date, or mingle with. We shouldn't hide behind this notion that our cultures differ, or that there are a great many differences between a malay gay man to a chinese gay man, or an indian gay man to a chinese gay man because by being gay, we have already gotten out of the box and "rebelled" against the shackles that bind us. We have created our own culture and we dictate our own lives. Gays are similar no matter what race or culture we are from because at the end of the day, we speak the same language; we all like dicks and want men for our partners. I am mixed; my father is malay and my mother is a chinese but I was raised in the malay culture although I do not identify with any culture at all now, and I am attached to a wonderful chinese boy who isn't shackled by cultural concerns. As a couple, we speak the same language and we have not had much problems in terms of our cultures. In fact, in more ways than one, my partner is more Malay than I am. Haha. I think that as gays, we are already miserable enough having to grapple with societal rejection and the dearth of good candidates to share our lives with. i feel that we should not limit ourselves to a certain racial group, or fixate or prioritise superficial attributes. A good man who will spend your life with you does not necessarily have to be a hunk or a gorgeous person, or of a certain racial group for that matter. A good man is one with a good heart, a good attitude, and has his priorities in good order. Furthermore, we are Singaporeans. Why talk about culture? We have none. We are so intertwined as a nation, and as a people that we all know each other's cultures quite keenly.

 

RESPECT. People like you give me hope that the stereotypical views will start to change in the near future. Although most people today are still tied down by racial stereotypes!

[limpeh]

Actually if you realise, it is not race today that divides people, it is class. It is more likely for say, an Indian lawyer to be in an equal relationship with a Chinese banking executive than either of them would a coffee shop boy.

Why? Because of shared experiences, goals and a preference to be around people who share common interests.

 

If you take a look around the gay community, those of us who are in interracial relationships are often with someone else who (more or less) belongs to the same socioeconomic group. That said, I've also noticed that they tend to be educated and/or lived abroad or were raised without such prejudices.

Of course, there are always exceptions so don't take this the wrong way

[keyboard]

Actually if you realise, it is not race today that divides people, it is class.

 

Have to agree. I once gave up a relationship because I was not economically viable to support (in the further future) someone whom I liked but was a decade older than I was.

[MarriedTop]

No problem for me. In fact,i like pinoy

[cloz8dude]

Thanks guys for all your honest opinions! They are really insightful and meet my concern. After reading them kind of gave me hope that it won't be a problem finding someone from other race(I hope, haha).

 

Not that i'm looking for one now, but glad to know some are actually shifting more towards rewarding relationship than stereotypical relationship. Yes i believe that relationship with mutual understanding and interest is what matters the most nowadays. Even if we are from different race, background, society, culture etc, there are part of us, our personality that are significant to the other party. Not simply the case that says if we are from the same ethnicity equates to a successful relationship.

And especially for our lgbt society, there are less fish in the sea. So why not we grab one that make our life the sweetest thing ever?!

 

But yeah, like some of you have said, yes I agree that some people do have a certain preference like this, a mental picture of what their future soul mate gonna be and i'm partially guilty of it. However, if I happen to meet someone who likes me and share the same interest, understanding and respect, but he is not how i picture him to be, i'd still choose him. After all, it's the characteristic of a person that's gonna make us happy. Appearance dies off and other aspects fade away from our mind when find that someone special.

[cloz8dude]

I for one have been at the receiving end of this. I have come to learn that most people here and on dating apps are very shallow. The moment i reveal my race, they will usually not continue with the conversation. It's like an instant stereotype. Well, i guess i just learned to cope with it. The rejection used hurt a lot at first. Getting rejected just because you're of a deferring race. Getting judged just because i'm of a different skin tone. 

 

I can totally relate man. I don't really have issues with my skin color actually. Most seems to be fine with it. The problem is when someone asks for you race first before a conversation, or after a few days-long sweet convos. You reply by stating your race and then the next moment you're bound to be ignored, blocked or told "not interested". 

 

 

Don't be a prisoner of your own thought and do not fall victim to generalization to be the norm.  It is the way we think that limits opportunities.  It is the conviction in what we believe that will close all possibilities.  If you want to be free, if you want things to happen, you have to set your thought free.

 

While inter-racial relationship is not rampant, it does not mean that it does not exist.  I have friends, and some in my family, whom are in inter-racial relationship/marriages, didn't even think about it when it happened.  Were they targetting a different race?  No!  Were they taken off guard when it happened?  The beauty is in acceptance.

 

I like the phrase used by Wesley (post #10) where he said "Until you get to that mindset".  This is a very strong affirmation.  Until you get to that mindset, cloz8dude that things will start to happen.  Do not allow the superficiality in society to stop the wondrous aspects of life.

 

I totally understand where you're coming from. Yes, even some of my family members, relatives and friends married to someone poles apart too and they are still happy with whoever they chose to be. So i still know that there hopes for inter-racial relationship.

 

 

I think the great issue we have is that we tend to use the notion of having our own preferences as an excuse for a certain degree of racism. It isn't a new concept when you have ethnocentric views with regards to people of other races, and how such people are beneath you in a certain way. When we have this notion that "my culture is better than yours" or "my race is more superior", we tend to gravitate towards others that belong to the same in-group as us. Although on a normal day, and in a normal setting, we do not think ourselves as racist, we cannot deny the fact that some of us do feel superior to others, and react in that exact way by choosing people similar to us to date, or mingle with. We shouldn't hide behind this notion that our cultures differ, or that there are a great many differences between a malay gay man to a chinese gay man, or an indian gay man to a chinese gay man because by being gay, we have already gotten out of the box and "rebelled" against the shackles that bind us. We have created our own culture and we dictate our own lives. Gays are similar no matter what race or culture we are from because at the end of the day, we speak the same language; we all like dicks and want men for our partners. I am mixed; my father is malay and my mother is a chinese but I was raised in the malay culture although I do not identify with any culture at all now, and I am attached to a wonderful chinese boy who isn't shackled by cultural concerns. As a couple, we speak the same language and we have not had much problems in terms of our cultures. In fact, in more ways than one, my partner is more Malay than I am. Haha. I think that as gays, we are already miserable enough having to grapple with societal rejection and the dearth of good candidates to share our lives with. i feel that we should not limit ourselves to a certain racial group, or fixate or prioritise superficial attributes. A good man who will spend your life with you does not necessarily have to be a hunk or a gorgeous person, or of a certain racial group for that matter. A good man is one with a good heart, a good attitude, and has his priorities in good order. Furthermore, we are Singaporeans. Why talk about culture? We have none. We are so intertwined as a nation, and as a people that we all know each other's cultures quite keenly.

 

 

RESPECT. People like you give me hope that the stereotypical views will start to change in the near future. Although most people today are still tied down by racial stereotypes!

 

 

I really couldn't agree more..

[hotlongboy]

So what's the main reason most people stay away from interracial relationship?

[Guest Guest<3U]

FINDING KOR/US guys but way tooooooo hard to find! /Life'spainful

[NorthernLights]

Kinda nice to read all the comments coming from the open, accepting and realistic minds that find inter racial relationships to be the norm..the climate certainly has changed quite a bit since just 5 years back. I personally tend to avoid getting into any sort of situation with someone who seems too focused on just one particular race...i would prefer race not to be brought up even during the selection process...especially since i rank pretty much a 0 on the scales of being in touch with my own racial culture and its many stereotypes. When i meet someone who is focused solely on my race, i find they tend to get disappointed eventually once they realise i don't have any of the cultural racial identifiers in my own character...even the very basic which is my mother tongue...so instead..now when people ask what's my race, i say "Singaporean"...and those that stick around after that reply usually find out that i might not be proficient in my mother tongue but it doesn't take anything away from my proficiency with just my regular tongue. =p Race....pffft. I'd rather judge a man by his girth instead of what shade of 'human' he comes in.

Edited December 29, 2013 by NorthernLights

[allyremen]

No differences really. I have lived all over the world and dated many guys of different races and while there may be some cultural differences the gap are usually not difficult to get over with. Sex-wise, all are the same :-)

[Guest Sky]

Me: I am Australian born Chinese. Both my parents are Singaporean and they migrated to Adelaide in the late 80's. Having been born there, I dated white guys exclusively (yes call me an SPG) when I was growing up and I didn't like to date other Asian guys.

 

Now that I'm in Singapore I don't date white guys - most of them here are old. In fact, for the past 3 years, I've been attached to a local Malay guy and I consider myself lucky because he's as loving as he is passionate in bed.

 

I no longer have a racial preference when it comes to dating and relationships but I must admit, for me, dating and being in relationships with someone of another race is way more interesting than dating within the same culture.

[hotphoenix]

i appreciate that many of you here are open to the idea of inter-racial r/s. Kudus to you! but i guess you guys are just a minority. I can safely say, being an singaporean indian, that there are many people in Singapore who still prefer to stick around with their own race. Just think: when was the last time, or how often do you see a gathering of folks, in which the group is multi-racial? Being in the University now, i personally find that many youth these days are racially tolerant but are not multi-racial in their outlook. they not open minded to go out of their way to make friends from other races. This, after almost 50years of nationhood that emphasized on Multi-racialism all throughout, is rather shameful and disappointing.

 

The situation would not be any better in the gay circle either i guess. if you've been to gay saunas, club, chatted in irc or hung out enough with gay circle, ud realize the prejudice. even the young ones these day (im still young since im an undergrad), seem to have a deep rooted "preference" based on racial identity. more often then not, they seem to follow the old age social  stereotype that they are to eager to believe in, without trying to engage and understand. 

 

but having said that, whenever i see a inter-racial couple on the streets (be it they are LGBT or Hetero), i feel happy for them, for being open minded and daring to step out of their comfort circle of same race friends, to explore and discover.

 

i guess any expectations of inter-racial r/s has to come from being open to making meaningful friends. how many of you have among your 5 most important friends in your life, a malay, chinese and indian? 

[abang]

2013 is closing and 2014 is just around the corner...

So if we are still racist-at-heart, isnt it time to FREE YOUR MIND.. and be colour-blind..

 

I do have colleagues of other races and yes, one of the most sickening thing at work is the use of mother tongue in the conversation.  I am guilty myself every once in a while when I communicate in Mandarin with the non-academic staff.

So accept others as they are...

[JWesley]

To hotphoenix, how about those times you reject other races in sauna? How do you justify that?

[Guest Guest]

Hi guys,

 

Will you consider having an interracial boyfriend/soulmate/partner?

[junxiang]

why not?

[Guest guest]

Of course!  My boyfriend is angmo.

 

Why do you ask?  The year's 2014. People do not mind skin colour these day except for the ignorant few.  We are ALL beautiful!

[snowball]

随缘 ， 缘分谁也说不准

[Angelix]

Hi guys,

 

Will you consider having an interracial boyfriend/soulmate/partner?

 

Why are people so hung up about race? As long as you like him and he likes you, does it matter?

[iamziz]

 

Why do you ask?  The year's 2014. People do not mind skin colour these day except for the ignorant few.  We are ALL beautiful!

 

Precisely.

[EasleyLim]

Sure. 

[curiosity]

Why not? 

[marriedmly]

it doesn't matter to most

 

to some ..it does

 

don't bother about what people say

 

just decide base on ur own needs

[Guest Guest]

Like as the tittle says, do you usually put "race" as an important aspect in finding your significant other?

As a local guy from the minority ethnic group(besides the 4 main groups), I've always kind of wonder if I'd be able to find my partner here, or even date one.

One thing I know for sure is that finding my significant other from the same race is close to impossible cause I know there isn't any around here. From the statistic, I fall under "others" category in the ethnic group chart in Singapore, so again, its impossible.

Singapore is my home, it's where i was born and where i belong. I'm not thinking of migrating to any other country even if i have the choice. So I'm very keen to know if I'd couple up with someone or stay single forever...

I know it must be a bit tough for someone to adjust to each others culture, different views, faith etc. But still, is it possible to find someone who won't mind what race you come from and just love you for who you are?

I meant no offence to whatever your preference is. Just for my knowledge and curiousness, I thought I'd ask;)

What is your race? If u dun mind?

[Guest Get Real]

 

Like as the tittle says, do you usually put "race" as an important aspect in finding your significant other? 

 

As a local guy from the minority ethnic group(besides the 4 main groups), I've always kind of wonder if I'd be able to find my partner here, or even date one. 

One thing I know for sure is that finding my significant other from the same race is close to impossible cause I know there isn't any around here. From the statistic, I fall under "others" category in the ethnic group chart in Singapore, so again, its impossible. 

Singapore is my home, it's where i was born and where i belong. I'm not thinking of migrating to any other country even if i have the choice. So I'm very keen to know if I'd couple up with someone or stay single forever...

I know it must be a bit tough for someone to adjust to each others culture, different views, faith etc. But still, is it possible to find someone who won't mind what race you come from and just love you for who you are? 

 

I meant no offence to whatever your preference is. Just for my knowledge and curiousness, I thought I'd ask;)

 

The theoretically speaking, there should be no discrimination in love regardless of race, religion or nationalities.  

 

HOWEVER.....IN PRACTICE....

 

Race/Relgion

It may be challenging if your partner is very staunch in his own religion and imposed his practices on you as a non-believer that you must abide by his or his family ways of life with regard to what to eat, how to eat, how to clean ass, what not say and where to go to convenient his routine practice of life.

 

Nationality

Sense of belongings posed a huge challenge.  While loving you, his thoughts linger back to his own country, his family overseas and the life he missed in his own country. There is the nagging feelings of detachment in such relationship when the other party is constantly being stressed out of not returning home because of you.  When you both parted temporarily,  you wonder whether his hearts left with him too and whether he has the perserverance to maintain cross borders relationship and will their parents influence his mind eventually.   

[Guest Guest]

I am of the majority race in Singapore, and i am the type who will try things out for once before making a decision.

I have dated a nice minority race local too, had sex a few times, he wanted to mount me , i let him, but i just dont find it works for me, later on , i dated a nice chindian and moved in with him and his family , but also later found that the flame cannot be sustained,

Sigh, it just did not work out for me, i was the passive one, but now i am the top with a same race and we have been tog for a long , long time still going strong.

You just gotta try everything it for once to see if itvworks for you or not.

[Axllow00]

First of all,

Thanks for a thought provoking topic. And you did fill those empty hearts out there thinking about the same issues that you have.

 

Well, speaking of "others", I am an Indian. I do not really belong in the "others' group, but I do fit well in the minority here in Sg. 

I've always had a crush on Chinese guys, not that I hate my own race but I grew up with a lot of Chinese friends.

In fact I can speak Chinese very well.

Sadly for me, I never seen a Chinese guy (stranger) ever look at me. so, I had never got any hints or anything so far. And so do my friends whom are gays as well.

It's always me who does the first move, but then again. I have never really dated anyone before.

 

Don't tell me that it's all about face, body or weewee. Coz, I am am medium sized, (according to my fren) long-er than average.

And I believe it's not about lust.

I've had a few girls confessing to me too.

 

 

Sad.

[Guest Tommy]

First of all,

Thanks for a thought provoking topic. And you did fill those empty hearts out there thinking about the same issues that you have.

 

Well, speaking of "others", I am an Indian. I do not really belong in the "others' group, but I do fit well in the minority here in Sg. 

I've always had a crush on Chinese guys, not that I hate my own race but I grew up with a lot of Chinese friends.

In fact I can speak Chinese very well.

Sadly for me, I never seen a Chinese guy (stranger) ever look at me. so, I had never got any hints or anything so far. And so do my friends whom are gays as well.

It's always me who does the first move, but then again. I have never really dated anyone before.

 

Don't tell me that it's all about face, body or weewee. Coz, I am am medium sized, (according to my fren) long-er than average.

And I believe it's not about lust.

I've had a few girls confessing to me too.

 

 

Sad.

 

 

Like it or not, Chinese Sporeans, many are racists.

 

For me, as a Chinese, I find malay men most appealing.

[Axllow00]

Like it or not, Chinese Sporeans, many are racists.

 

For me, as a Chinese, I find malay men most appealing.

 

Sadder now.

[Guest Guest]

I like only the 'chap chon' type as they typically have big dicks, minimum 6.5 inches....honest. And they r also better looking.

[mate69]

No, it should not matter as long as both of u know what is truly important in a relationship.

 

We should be open to possibilities but at the same time, have the freedom to choose as well according 

to our preferences.

[gstc82]

No.

[friendlychatguy]

Love is encompassing...if the love is big enough, NOTHING will be an issue...conversely, if the love is not big, strong enough, ANYTHING can be an issue...

 

We spend great deal of energy and time trying to understand issues(race/colour/religion)...but we don't spend enough time trying to understand what is love or what it really takes to love...

 

We always tend to love ourselves more than others...

 

Love transcends....may all of you find your true love...

[Guest Guest]

I cannot tolerate stupid human race .... what do you think ?

[fab]

Th thing that matters is if he loves u (deep enough).

[qsefthu78]

How is one's preference for traits in a partner got to do with racism? Do you get denied your rights as a citizen? How is it wrong for one to choose to spend his life with someone of the same culture, ethnicity, shared heritage?

Unless you accept the fact that there are such things called preferences, you will never find peace with yourself and others whether you are white, yellow, brown, black, fat, thin, fit, tall, short, ugly, cute, male, female, in-between, stupid, smart...

[Guest Jason]

I'm a Chinese guy, when I was young, I only went for other Chinese guys. As I grew up, I begin to see that there are hunky guys everywhere.

 

I mean, seriously, who would you choose to sleep with: A fat chinese guy with a triple chin and a belly that flops over his pants or a muscular malay guy with rock hard abs and shapely pecs topped with a pair of perky nipples?

 

It's all subjective from person to person. For me, muscles make me weak.

[Blacque]

I'm a Chinese guy, when I was young, I only went for other Chinese guys. As I grew up, I begin to see that there are hunky guys everywhere.

 

I mean, seriously, who would you choose to sleep with: A fat chinese guy with a triple chin and a belly that flops over his pants or a muscular malay guy with rock hard abs and shapely pecs topped with a pair of perky nipples?

 

It's all subjective from person to person. For me, muscles make me weak.

 

The issue here is your significant other, not a sex partner.