Don’T Make A Permanent Decision Based On Your Temporary Emotion

[iamziz]

Reading through some of the topics here, I thought this article might be of some help. We tend to get carried away in our actions when we are angry, disappointed, hurt, sad or even happy.

Moderators, pardon me if this is not in the right section.

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Don’t Make a Permanent Decision Based on Your Temporary Emotion

It’s one of those days… when life is tough and you are at the end of your rope. You say something very drastic because you can’t take another second. In that moment, you truly mean what you say. It’s been building – and when you finally say it, you’re even surprised at how severe it sounds. Maybe you’re telling your partner you’re done with the relationship. Perhaps you’re telling your boss you can’t take one day more day at work. Possibly you’ve told your bff you want to end your friendship. It’s over!

Then the next day, you calm down and are less hormonal and don’t feel so desperate. In fact, you are okay with the relationship, the job, the friend. You may still want to fix some aspects of each situation, but you certainly don’t want to cut ties. It would be nice if it all went away – you were forgiven as quickly as you recovered from the frustration and anger.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t usually work that way. It’s in the moments when we feel overwhelmed, out of control and somewhat insane, that we say and do things that can create permanent wounds in our relationships. The hurt can go deep. And the pain can be immense. If only we could take back our actions. If only we could rewind our life DVR to 30 seconds before we made the drastic decisions, we could avoid the situation all together.

But real life can’t be rewound. It’s lived in the very moment – second by second. It is our challenge to live responsibly for each of those seconds. As I’ve pondered the moments I wish I had stopped and thought through a decision, I realize there are some things I could have done to change the outcome.

1. Take a few minutes to clear your mind. Whether it’s in the middle of a heated argument or a moment of pure frustration, you need some time to step away and let the adrenaline settle down. Adrenaline is critical to keeping us alive in a life or death situation. However, it’s not as valuable when we need to be able to think rationally and make a longer term decision. Letting your body chemistry mellow out a little and the hormones stabilize will do wonders for your ability to put rational thoughts together.

2. Stay away from alcohol. Alcohol and reasoning never go together. Discussions and opinions should never be offered when one or both parties are under the influence of alcohol, even minor amounts. It alters brainwaves, making a person think differently. It can also cause amnesia for comments made. Just do yourself a favor – don’t engage in an important conversation when either person has had any alcohol.

3. Sleep on it. It’s amazing how much more reasonable a person becomes when they’ve had some sleep. Being tired is already a drain on the adrenals – adding an emotional decision on top of exhaustion is more than your sensibilities can handle. Do yourself a favor – don’t make an important, permanent decision when you should really go to bed. In most cases, that decision can wait a day or two until you’ve had a chance to get some rest and think clearly.

4. Talk to someone who is level-headed and can help you make a good decision. Sometimes this is a person who isn’t emotionally connected to you – who has no tie to the outcome other than to support you in weighing the factors to reach a solid conclusion. When I was separated from my ex-husband, I chose a mentor who was skilled in Akashic Records to help me make decisions about my marriage. She helped me move through the process with wisdom but wasn’t concerned with what the final result was. She wanted to empower me to make the best decision for me, regardless of what that decision was. Even though my family and friends were very supportive, it was difficult for me to make the decision I wanted when I was relying on others who were involved in my life day to day. They wanted nothing but the best for me. However, it’s sometimes challenging to make a personal decision when others are weighing in. Having the outside help allowed me to be less emotional and angry in my decision – to make a logical, clear decision.

5. Take as much time as you need to listen. Sometimes you KNOW. You just know. You don’t need a lot of time to ponder and consider – your gut tells you what to do. If you know without a doubt what to do, do it. However, if you are not certain how to proceed, give yourself a little time and space to pray and listen. The answers are always there. Sometimes you don’t want to hear them. Sometimes you don’t trust that you got an answer. But when you are honest with yourself, you know what to do. When you get the answer, trust your intuition. Some of the most painful experiences I’ve ever been through have been a direct result of not listening. I got an answer but did something else. And the result was excruciating. I learned! I listen now. If I don’t know what to do right away, I take whatever time I need. But I always listen – and the answer is always there.

Life can be very challenging. We live in a very fast-paced, hurried society. Decisions can be rushed. We all owe it to ourselves to take a breath, step back and make the decision that’s best for each of us. As my mother always said, “It always works out.” Yes, Mom, it does!

Tara Schofield

Source: http://zoesoulspa.co...porary-emotion/

Edited August 23, 2012 by iamziz

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