Broken Relationship

[Guest Heart breaking]

Is was a painful but no choice to accept the facts.

Went into relationship for 2 months and finally burst.

The period was beautiful. Everyday we meet and hv lunch and dinner together. Satursday will hang out to watch movies, makan or ktv. We even spent 3 days in JB and that is most enjoyable time that we had spent together.

Things turn differently after 2 weeks back from the trip. We started argument over issues like he need to company his best friend to JB for a short holiday. I tried stopping him but everytime I end up crying over the matters. I finally give way but he raised the separation.

His reason that I dont understand him and wanted to tie him down and want to keep him by myside. I worked very hard to regain back the relationship but was useless.

Now we are apart. Its really a very painful for me. Crying in the nite whenever I think about our relationship.

I hope he will turn back to me again. I will be waiting for him.

[Guest Guest]

move on please. Whatever he had told you after the trip, he's just not ready for you. 2 months is easier to cure than a broken 2 years relationship.

there are better men out there, and they will come by.

[daedalus]

I doubt the length of the relationship has something to do with the time you need to heal. I took 2 years to get over a 3 months relationship. Well it may be me only.

[Guest Heart breaking]

Fully agreeded with daedalus.

Though is 2 months but we physically see each other 6 days a week and min hrs about 5 per day.

I told him we give 2 wks for the cooling period and I really hope he will call me

[EasleyLim]

Case of too much clingyniteus.

Even married couple don't meet for activity everyday lah.

[Guest Heart breaking]

We meet everything not for sex exchange but more for both of us to know each other. Ofcos we do spent some time kissing and hugging

[Guest Guest]

Case of too much clingyniteus.

Even married couple don't meet for activity everyday lah.

Fully agreed. He's talking about together minimum 5 hrs per day, 6 days per week, Sunday off ?! Wait, they don't have to work? or they're colleagues in the same company?

[Afterwork]

Sorry to hear abt this.

I know it's hard right now and it's really cliche, but time heals - really.

[Guest Heart breaking]

Our work hrs are flexible. Sunday off is bcos we feel that at least we can hv that day free for ourselve activities.

[Guest Heart breaking]

Thanks Afterwork. I really hope too but on the other hand I really willing to wait for him to turn back even if takes years. Many may think that its not wise or I just trying to show off here.

[Guest Guest]

Case of too much clingyniteus.

I LOLed when I read this...

[GoodBoyRan]

I'm really sorry that happened, I recently got out of a relationship too, and although it was only 4 months, it still sucks when things end, regardless of how it ended or who initiated it. On the other hand, don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

Take time to grieve the loss, then once you've had enough, get back up on your feet to welcome better, newer things into your life. x

[snowball]

很多恋情, 开始得很美丽, 结束得没道理, 但是否真的是很可惜呢?

每个人都是某某人生命中的过客, 但是不是他最终的归宿, 有时掌控权不在自己手中。

当感情出现问题时, 很多人都把责任怪罪对方身上, 很少会真正自我检讨反省。

一巴掌拍不响, 无风不起浪, 经一事长一智, 人不是在失败中才会学着成长成熟吗?

是你的, 不论转了多少弯都会回到你身边, 不属于你的, 强求只会增添苦恼。

人要懂得何时洒脱何时执著, 有时放手后, 将获益更多。

分手后痛苦难免, 但不意味使自己堕落才算多情。

苦也得过日子, 那还不如坚强让自己活得更充实。

感情就像手中握不住的沙, 你捏得越紧, 沙子从手缝流失得越快。

当感情已成往事, 就把它当作梦一场,

何必放弃整片森林, 固执的把自己吊死在一棵树上。

共勉之。

Edited January 22, 2013 by snowball

[Dashy_Boy]

Be strong bro... What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! I'm sure there's alot of us out here who can identify the feeling with you. So don't feel down but be happy that you're done with it.

[Guest broken relationship]

Thanks Snowball. Thanks for the encouragement. Really dont know how to handle my emotion. Every place we been bring back beautiful memory. I know I need to let go but is really tough for me.

[daedalus]

This Is cliche, but it still hold true. Time will heal.

[Guest Each had different needs]

It sounds like you are young and inexperienced in "the game of love". Moreover, it sounds like the two of you have different "wants" and "needs" from a relationship. It is painful now but is it not better to find out now before investing more time and emotion and thereby having to deal with even more pain and longer recovery?

The sooner you get over this guy, the sooner you can find the right person to attract into in your life. I would encourage you to take this opportunity look at what attracted you to him so you don't attract the same personality into your life and then have to go through the same rejection over and over again.

From your writing it sounded like you were trying to either control him or tell him what to do. If this is true, this behaviour can be a "turn-off" for many guys especially so early in the relationship.

Maybe you were trying to rush into "an exclusive relationship" too fast. If this is a repeating pattern, then you need to address this before pursuing any other relationships so you don’t experience more rejection. For many gays this can scare them off from wanting to get to know you better.

Gays, monogamy and LTR can be a challenge for many. You may need to rethink your position on this. Lots of gays, especially in there 20's and 30's, just want a variety of sexual experiences. (This might be biological for not only the majority of gays but also straight men.) Due to family, societal and religious expectations random, meaningless ONS may be all many gays or bi's are capable of in Singapore. You may have to accept and deal with the reality of the "times we live in" so you can avoid future disappointments.

You need to decide what your personal relationship "needs and expectations" are and then find someone that can fulfil these requirements. Just remember the longer your list the harder it will be to find that "prince charming" that will be able to fulfil your desires.

Life is compromise and human beings are flawed. Nobody is perfect. I believe there is not only "just one love of your life" but there is a sea full of compatible mates. When you have grieved long enough or the "death" of this relationship it will be then time to pick yourself up and get back in the game. You can't win if you don't play.

Hugs and with lots of love

PS This concept of having to grieve over the death of a relationship is profound. You may need help talking through the stages. If you are feeling lost, hopeless, despair, suicidal please consult a professional.

You are too precious to loose in a world that at times can feel so cold.

[stevenzhang24]

It sounds like you are young and inexperienced in "the game of love". Moreover, it sounds like the two of you have different "wants" and "needs" from a relationship. It is painful now but is it not better to find out now before investing more time and emotion and thereby having to deal with even more pain and longer recovery?

The sooner you get over this guy, the sooner you can find the right person to attract into in your life. I would encourage you to take this opportunity look at what attracted you to him so you don't attract the same personality into your life and then have to go through the same rejection over and over again.

From your writing it sounded like you were trying to either control him or tell him what to do. If this is true, this behaviour can be a "turn-off" for many guys especially so early in the relationship.

Maybe you were trying to rush into "an exclusive relationship" too fast. If this is a repeating pattern, then you need to address this before pursuing any other relationships so you don’t experience more rejection. For many gays this can scare them off from wanting to get to know you better.

Gays, monogamy and LTR can be a challenge for many. You may need to rethink your position on this. Lots of gays, especially in there 20's and 30's, just want a variety of sexual experiences. (This might be biological for not only the majority of gays but also straight men.) Due to family, societal and religious expectations random, meaningless ONS may be all many gays or bi's are capable of in Singapore. You may have to accept and deal with the reality of the "times we live in" so you can avoid future disappointments.

You need to decide what your personal relationship "needs and expectations" are and then find someone that can fulfil these requirements. Just remember the longer your list the harder it will be to find that "prince charming" that will be able to fulfil your desires.

Life is compromise and human beings are flawed. Nobody is perfect. I believe there is not only "just one love of your life" but there is a sea full of compatible mates. When you have grieved long enough or the "death" of this relationship it will be then time to pick yourself up and get back in the game. You can't win if you don't play.

Hugs and with lots of love

PS This concept of having to grieve over the death of a relationship is profound. You may need help talking through the stages. If you are feeling lost, hopeless, despair, suicidal please consult a professional.

You are too precious to loose in a world that at times can feel so cold.

OMG, very knowledgeable advices, we need wise people like you. Wise, comprehensive and realistic. Maybe experienced?

[monochrome]

Oh dear. Is this your first relationship? The first cut is always the deepest, and though 2 months isn't long, I do understand how you feel. My first relationship lasted only 1 month and I was just like you, I couldn't bear to be apart from him. When we broke up, I was a mess. Looking back now to all those years ago, I realised there is a lesson that I learnt, and that is: To be able to give your partner the freedom to be with his friends, and do what he wants to. He will come back missing you more than before.

I'm 27 now and I'm in a relationship that's quickly approaching the 3 year mark. So take heed, things will get better. Live each day as it comes, slowly. Breathe. Go for jogs, or long walks to comfort yourself - because while you've broken up with the person you love, you've also regained the person that's most important to you: yourself.

[Firday]

when the word "broken" mean...no more U turn .....move on with no regret. At least both of u having the best moment for those short period.

U should at least able to heal since the duration is short while other may even longer like 8years...speaking from my life path.

Well, other say...relationship do not measure by period, 2 week or 10years is still a relationship.

Learn to move on...find new skill, new places and new friend to motivate yourself.

I leave singapore and reside in an island for 8 months...because my depression mood.

[gammaray]

Life is like a game. As long as you learn from it, you probably won't die the same way again. The moment may not be pretty but they shape who you are.

[Guest Coolwind]

Oh dear. Is this your first relationship? The first cut is always the deepest, and though 2 months isn't long, I do understand how you feel. My first relationship lasted only 1 month and I was just like you, I couldn't bear to be apart from him. When we broke up, I was a mess. Looking back now to all those years ago, I realised there is a lesson that I learnt, and that is: To be able to give your partner the freedom to be with his friends, and do what he wants to. He will come back missing you more than before.

I'm 27 now and I'm in a relationship that's quickly approaching the 3 year mark. So take heed, things will get better. Live each day as it comes, slowly. Breathe. Go for jogs, or long walks to comfort yourself - because while you've broken up with the person you love, you've also regained the person that's most important to you: yourself.

Oh dear. Is this your first relationship? The first cut is always the deepest, and though 2 months isn't long, I do understand how you feel. My first relationship lasted only 1 month and I was just like you, I couldn't bear to be apart from him. When we broke up, I was a mess. Looking back now to all those years ago, I realised there is a lesson that I learnt, and that is: To be able to give your partner the freedom to be with his friends, and do what he wants to. He will come back missing you more than before. I'm 27 now and I'm in a relationship that's quickly approaching the 3 year mark. So take heed, things will get better. Live each day as it comes, slowly. Breathe. Go for jogs, or long walks to comfort yourself - because while you've broken up with the person you love, you've also regained the person that's most important to you: yourself.

I like this posting. Most important to you is "yourself" and only you can choose to love yourself then you are able to regain a new love. Hope you also know what to look out for in the next lap of your love life. Cheers.

[abang]

I am going Zen here...

缘起缘灭， 花开花谢。。。It is just a cycle of love and relationship.

But wait, 下一个男人会更好。。

[doncoin]

He is not the one for you. It hurts now. You think about what went wrong? What you could have done better to prevent it from happening... etc. You analyse over and over in your head the ifs, the coulda, woulda, shoulda...

The reality is he is gone. You move on.

[snowball]

爱存在着太多的不确定, 如何才能让它成为不朽, 得到圆满?

不必烦恼, 是你的想跑也跑不了,

不必徒劳, 不是你的想得也得不到,

爱情不是付出就能够抓得牢,

只要真心尽力就好。

Edited January 24, 2013 by snowball

[FSL019]

When your expectations become the burden if the other party, the only way is out.

[Guest broken relationship]

Thanks all for the encourage throughout this difficulty period. Indeed is allowing me to see what the problems between us.

We did hv a gd talk late night and he suggesting to work out the relationship again. I am to hear that but on the other hand still ponder what will happen if history repeats itself. Afraid not able to take the pain again.

Our relationship fail not because am too sticky but another person enter into our relationship that trigger it.

It's seem that this person have no intention to carry on and that lead him to rethink our relationship again.

Am really lost now as been afraid to be hurt again. :-(

[doncoin]

You deserve better than being someone's backup plan.

Thanks all for the encourage throughout this difficulty period. Indeed is allowing me to see what the problems between us.

We did hv a gd talk late night and he suggesting to work out the relationship again. I am to hear that but on the other hand still ponder what will happen if history repeats itself. Afraid not able to take the pain again.

Our relationship fail not because am too sticky but another person enter into our relationship that trigger it.

It's seem that this person have no intention to carry on and that lead him to rethink our relationship again.

Am really lost now as been afraid to be hurt again. :-(

[Firday]

oic, so you want to be his door mat instead.

[Guest Guest]

Thanks all for the encourage throughout this difficulty period. Indeed is allowing me to see what the problems between us.

We did hv a gd talk late night and he suggesting to work out the relationship again. I am to hear that but on the other hand still ponder what will happen if history repeats itself. Afraid not able to take the pain again.

Our relationship fail not because am too sticky but another person enter into our relationship that trigger it.

It's seem that this person have no intention to carry on and that lead him to rethink our relationship again.

Am really lost now as been afraid to be hurt again. :-(

Everyone here has told you what you need to know about this relationship. Go do what you want. But, when things do not go your way, please don't cry in this forum again. You have to be responsible of consequences.

[Guest broken relationship]

Am really very confused and miserable over this but am just at the cross junction.

[Guest ST]

Understood the pain and loss you are currently going thru.. But no matter what, be nice to yourself as we tends to do stupid or silly things whenever going thru bad patches. In this case, I mean dont go for causal sex which may transmit diseases just because of broken relationship etc.. Guess you know what i mean.

Like alot of the older Bros here.. Time will heals.

[snowball]

your life your path, 走你想走的路, 做你该做的事, 加油!

[Guest broken relationship]

After much consideration, I decided to give myself a chance to work out the relationship again. Some of you may find that I Am stupid but I really love him deeply.

But will also be prepare what ever challenge come. Hope you guys can give me your blessing.

[SeannyShortcake]

Do what you wanna do.

Follow your heart.

Let your hand guide your life.

[darkflame]

Trust is like a mirror.

Once broken, you may still mend it.

But you can see the cracks in it.

My take on two people getting back together after a bad fight, to the point of breaking up.

Take care of yourself.

If your relationship mutates into a power struggle, you know he's not the one for you.

Wish you good luck and hope he's true to you!

[Oogachagacare]

Hi, it sounds like you are having a difficult time grieving over the loss of the relationship. It is normal to experience such emotions and crying may be a form of release. However, if you feel that the situation is spiralling out of control, do feel free to talk to someone on your issues. Whatever your decision may be, do know that you're not alone and help is available. We have a hotline service if you need to speak to someone over the phone -

Oogachaga Hotline - 6226 2002 (Tue to Thu 7pm to 10pm and Sat 2pm to 6pm)

Please take good care and feel free to give us a call if you need any help.

Regards,

Oogachaga