iamziz Posted February 7, 2013 Report Share Posted February 7, 2013 One thing I have always advised the married men I spend time with - 'You cannot fall into a commitment as you already in a commitment.' This quotation says it all. However, if things work for both of you it would be a miracle else, please be mindful of the people you might hurt if you are not careful. Quote ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 善待对人。麻烦用英文来表达信息。不是每个人都会看的懂中文 。| “People need to learn the art of making an argument. Often there is no right or wrong. It's just your opinion vs someone else's opinion. How you deliver that opinion could make the difference between opening a mind, changing an opinion or shutting the door. Sometimes folk just don't know when they've "argued" enough. Learn when to shut up." ― J'son M. Lee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abang Posted February 7, 2013 Report Share Posted February 7, 2013 I am turning 52 this year and I am a single gay man.I refuse to have any physical interaction with married men.To TS,You are married and because you have "feelings" for this new guy, that doesnt mean you should neglect your family.Your family is your priority. Do the best for your children before making hasty decision. iamziz 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Abang 2 Posted February 7, 2013 Report Share Posted February 7, 2013 I am turning 52 this year and I am a single gay man.I refuse to have any physical interaction with married men.To TS,You are married and because you have "feelings" for this new guy, that doesnt mean you should neglect your family.Your family is your priority.Do the best for your children before making hasty decision.Abang: No one cares abt your personal life and assuming he has children... You shld just stop making assumptions....TS: Anyways, if the other guy is not aware that you are married, wat makes you think you have the chance of continuing the r/s if the other party knows? You shld just stop making assumptions too.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowball Posted February 7, 2013 Report Share Posted February 7, 2013 (edited) 人真的很奇怪，会莫名其妙地在人群中感到孤独，会无缘无故地在黄昏的时候伤感，哪怕他衣食无忧，且有娇妻爱子相伴左右。孤独与拥有无关，每个人的心中总有永远找不到满足的感觉。老婆温柔，老公就会感受不到辣；如果安静，他就会感受不到酸；如果风骚，他就感受不到甜；如果善良，他就感受不到苦。人永远都不会懂得珍惜眼前所拥有的。如何抉择再三思吧, 如果家庭平淡, 但是幸福, 就感恩吧, 这把年纪了, 也许该定下来了, 一时的诱惑可能落到两头不到岸的局面, 是否划得来? 不论你的决定是什么, 尊重你也祝福你。 Edited February 7, 2013 by snowball ryanlee and oralb 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oralb Posted February 7, 2013 Report Share Posted February 7, 2013 To the TS:Did you have sex? If no, maybe it is just friendship. seriously I dont know what you are expecting to hear from us? Life's short go for it? As a man of 50yo you know all the risks involved.人永远都不会懂得珍惜眼前所拥有的。well said. Quote When I Think It, I Do It, I Win It! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estee12 Posted February 7, 2013 Report Share Posted February 7, 2013 Am close to 50 and married. Recently knew this gay guy and we hit off quite well. Went movies, makan and even short trip to JB. Am thinking should I go on as normal friend or seriously thinking into relationship. Non of us hv bought out the issue but I just want to have a early tthougts before things get out of hand. Anyway he not aware that Am married and my age.Hope to hear some thoughts from u guyWait. He does not know your age or your Real age? I think if you really want to go into a relationship with him, its time for you to start being truthful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest annoyed Posted February 8, 2013 Report Share Posted February 8, 2013 TS, it is people like YOU who are untruthful, unfaithful, delusional, dishonest and presumptious that makes this world a tough place to live in. Get a REAL life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Afterwork Posted February 8, 2013 Report Share Posted February 8, 2013 TS, it is people like YOU who are untruthful, unfaithful, delusional, dishonest and presumptious that makes this world a tough place to live in. Get a REAL life.Sometimes its hard as you never know what life throws at u.So as it is, TS is in a predicament that often becomes complicated before we know it.Good that TS thought abt this earlier though, at least he/she can talk it through w the partner now and re-set expectations.Looking on the bright side of things, the relationship may continue as buddies.Good luck, TS 单眼皮 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeannyShortcake Posted February 8, 2013 Report Share Posted February 8, 2013 Obviously you know that you're married and you have feelings for this guy.So I'd say,do whatever you wanna do.Not like the advices of this thread,which is largely opposing getting together with that guy,are gonna be heard by you anyway.Heh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
单眼皮 Posted February 8, 2013 Report Share Posted February 8, 2013 A bit premature, if u ask meMaybe the gay guy doesn't even wanna take it beyond normal frens once he finds out ye age and marital status.Perhaps TS shouldn't overthink it.If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowball Posted February 8, 2013 Report Share Posted February 8, 2013 (edited) 事与愿违, 人生就是一场赌局, 自己就是筹码, 每走一步, 作一个决定, 可能会影响整个赌盘, 不是每次一句对不起就可以重新开始。理性和感性, 该继续或放手, 坦白或隐瞒都操纵在你手中, 心安无悔不是每个人追求的么? 听听内心的声音, 然后勇敢面对吧, 人最终都要为自己的行为负责, 所以就做你认为值得的, 对的事吧, 毕竟人生没有几个十年, 潇洒走一回吧。 Edited February 8, 2013 by snowball ryanlee 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
客气顾客 Posted February 9, 2013 Report Share Posted February 9, 2013 人过半百，还痴心枉梦。真是当局者迷。这个蛇年，面壁思过去吧!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest zayden Posted February 9, 2013 Report Share Posted February 9, 2013 怎么都是泼人冷水的comment呢？人家已经为这事烦恼了，你们还在这。。。我的妈呀！但我奉劝楼主，凡事对得起自己的良心吧！ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
friendlychatguy Posted February 10, 2013 Report Share Posted February 10, 2013 There are many possible perspectives to a relationship, and many of our judgement are limited by our own past experiences...I am happy for any one who eventually find the true love of their life, even if it comes at 50...For some true love maybe never did ever happen...until it really strikes you?If it does...be contented no matter how short lived it is...my best wishes to all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest FattChoy88 Posted February 10, 2013 Report Share Posted February 10, 2013 My advice is below:1/ Your family and your sexuality is two different matter. Gay ppl get married, hv kids n gets divorce all the time.2/ Make sure your friend reciprocate your feelings before taking the next step.2/ If you guys develop something, accept it. This is fate and you guys have a destiny to be together. No need for ANY guilt at all. Embrace it for how ever long it will last. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 你外婆 Posted February 10, 2013 Report Share Posted February 10, 2013 Don't you find it funny how some posters reply in Chinese assuming that TS is Chinese? He could be Malay, Indian, Eurasian or not even Singaporean... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imcheesy Posted February 10, 2013 Report Share Posted February 10, 2013 Don't you find it funny how some posters reply in Chinese assuming that TS is Chinese? He could be Malay, Indian, Eurasian or not even Singaporean...Biatch please, don't you know something called Google Translate? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 你外婆 Posted February 10, 2013 Report Share Posted February 10, 2013 Biatch please, don't you know something called Google Translate?Stop being such an ah quah. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted February 10, 2013 Report Share Posted February 10, 2013 Stop being such an ah quah.LOL, only a loser like you can come up with such a lame retort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 你外婆 Posted February 10, 2013 Report Share Posted February 10, 2013 LOL, only a loser like you can come up with such a lame retort.hah. is that the best you can do, seriously? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted February 10, 2013 Report Share Posted February 10, 2013 hah. is that the best you can do, seriously?LOL, speak for yourself, loser :twisted: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 你外婆 Posted February 10, 2013 Report Share Posted February 10, 2013 LOL, speak for yourself, loser :twisted:Meh, chao ah quah. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted February 10, 2013 Report Share Posted February 10, 2013 Meh, chao ah quah.Pot calling kettle black, lame loser Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joshboy Posted February 10, 2013 Report Share Posted February 10, 2013 (edited) sounds like a guy whom i used to knowhe invited the bunch of (gay) guys to sing ktv with his wife.. apparently the wife is clueless even after singing ktv.. god bless her IQafter that he hit on me.. and geez pls u r not my type n way too old..end up her wife left him cos she found gay porno in his stash and he didnt know how to defend it..but recently saw a guy in the dept stall n he was cuteeeeeeeee.. then realize he was picking up a pacifier.. for his kid Edited February 10, 2013 by joshboy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mijsdlog Posted June 16, 2013 Report Share Posted June 16, 2013 It doesn't help to curse anyone to death or torture. I think many of the people who cheat already live in guilt and constantly find ways to justify their actions. That will continue to be their burden until the day they can be honest with themselves and their partners.Cheating is very simply a breach of trust, no matter the type of union (heterosexual or homosexual marriage/relationship). Yes, we all have had instances where we have not been able to resist a temptation. Be honest with yourself and your partner about it. I would guess that most people would have preferred to have been consulted before rather than find out afterwards from other sources.About being forced into traditional heterosexual marriage: It is still not easy to be openly gay/bisexual, but we should at least be principled enough to not get into a situation where the spouse will end up getting cheated on. Don't get into a marriage with a person you cannot truly love. If you can find a person of the opposite sex whom you love and with whom you can imagine being in an official union, that person should also know that you may occasionally act on same-sex attraction; both of you can discuss and define what you both are comfortable with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted June 16, 2013 Report Share Posted June 16, 2013 True story.1. Cheating married man had leg amputated.2. Caused a big scene by chasing the wife & asking the mistress to stay at the hospital.3. Latest diagnosis- Sepsis.4. All organs - kidneys, liver, lungs not functioning well.5. Still go jalan jalan with mistress in wheelchair.6. Bankrupt the wife's savings $$$$$$ & left 000000 for the wife.7. Treat the wife like a maid.7. Not going to make it to nxt yr CNY.8. But still breaking ppl hearts by showing no remorse for all the pain he had caused his wife & children for the past 30 years. Karma takes 30 years to come back but at least those whom the married man hurt got to witness the payback. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowball Posted June 18, 2013 Report Share Posted June 18, 2013 一个双性恋的人, 尤其是已婚者不一定真的可以在两性间穿梭享受无碍, 他们的内心的纠结更不是一般人所真正体会。他们深受罪恶感和愧疚感的煎熬, 但又无法摆脱和同性交欢的欲望, 或许只能在短暂的肉体释放中找到自己。别问他们为什么要选择结婚, 甚至是有些真正的同性恋者, 每个人的家庭状况都不同, 所以并不是每个人都可以坦白自己的性倾向, 一句话, 人在江湖, 很多时候是身不由己。我并不鼓励他们的不忠, 但亦不会放重话藐视他们, 毕竟他们也是可怜人, 虽然更无辜的是那些没犯错的受害者。 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew ang525 Posted April 30, 2016 Report Share Posted April 30, 2016 http://news.asiaone.com/news/asia/caught-trap-14m-women-china-married-gay-men "At least 14 million straight women in China are currently, or have been, trapped in false marriages with men who are gay," Zhang Beichuan, a retired professor with the Medical School of Qingdao University, and a pioneering researcher on LGBT (lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgender) issues, tells China Daily Website. The phenomenon of Tongqi (wives of male homosexuals) has been in the shadows for decades due to Chinese traditional cultural customs, which strongly pressure adults to get married at certain ages, Zhang said. However, in the past two years, this special group has been under the spotlight and stirred public debate extensively as more victims stand out to vent their plights. "Tongqi's cries of marriage misery represent the development of society and women's conscience of equal rights; it also reaches the physical and mental limit wives married to gay men can tolerate," Zhang said. Many women were deceived into such bitter relationships by their gay partners as the latter just need such marriages of convenience as a buffer between themselves and family and social pressure. Fei Yan (pseudonym), a 41-year-old white-collar woman living in Changsha, Central China's Hunan province, said her unwitting marriage to a gay man led to a lifetime of woes. "Before he confessed to me, I had no idea what happened between us," Fei said. The couple had two children - the elder is now 10 - and husband and wife have decent jobs. It seems a happy, middle-class family. "However, when we're alone, he's not willing to get close to me or touch me. I thought I had done something wrong. That has been a huge blow to me in the past decade," Fei said. According to Zhang's investigation, about 80 per cent of the estimated 20 million homosexual men in China are currently or have been in a fake marriage. "It's seriously immoral to intentionally and rashly deceive an innocent woman into a sham marriage," the professor said. As a moderator of a tongqi group on QQ, an instant chat platform, Ru Meng (pseudonym) found two reasons behind this phenomenon after two-years of research about such marriages. First, homosexuality still carries a strong stigma in China. So the marriage is used as a shield to protect homosexual men. Second, under the pressure of filial ethics, gay people tend to find wives to have children to inherit the family's fortune. An online report, Plight of the Chinese Tongqi, stirred outrage and sympathy towards the gay people and their wives. "However, it's hard for those wives to walk out the cursed binding," Ru Meng said. Many women choose to quit their jobs and become full-time housewives after marriage, making them financially dependent on their spouse. Once the wife realises the truth, she may decide to keep silent and maintain the sham marriage to give their children a stable family. "I did not want my children to grow up without a father. But I did not want them to grow up in a dysfunctional family either," Fei said. Some do find the courage to divorce their husbands, but divorce is still considered as a shameful issue, according ingrained custom. "The law in China does little to assist those women who are at a disadvantage when they try to plead for compensation during divorce proceedings." Professor Zhang said. "A lack of sex education in Chinese schools has contributed to the tragedy of tongqi and the hostile social attitudes towards gays," Zhang said. Gay people usually feel ashamed to admit their sexual orientation and thus they choose to keep silent so they won't be viewed as a "monster". "Same-sex relationships should be tolerated and respected by more people. And the stereotype about same-sex marriage may also be diminished, thus the tongqi tragedy could be terminated," Zhang said. "At least 14 million straight women in China are currently, or have been, trapped in false marriages with men who are gay," Zhang Beichuan, a retired professor with the Medical School of Qingdao University, and a pioneering researcher on LGBT (lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgender) issues, tells China Daily Website. - See more at: http://news.asiaone.com/news/asia/caught-trap-14m-women-china-married-gay-men#sthash.6EwRNepX.gYWSg2j3.dpuf "At least 14 million straight women in China are currently, or have been, trapped in false marriages with men who are gay," Zhang Beichuan, a retired professor with the Medical School of Qingdao University, and a pioneering researcher on LGBT (lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgender) issues, tells China Daily Website. - See more at: http://news.asiaone.com/news/asia/caught-trap-14m-women-china-married-gay-men#sthash.6EwRNepX.gYWSg2j3.dpuf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leo yok loo Posted April 30, 2016 Report Share Posted April 30, 2016 These are all old stories. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hairy springroll Posted April 30, 2016 Report Share Posted April 30, 2016 封建的悲哀 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew ang525 Posted April 30, 2016 Report Share Posted April 30, 2016 I would not be surprised that, in Singapore, there are also such stories. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 30, 2016 Report Share Posted April 30, 2016 3 minutes ago, Andrew ang525 said: I would not be surprised that, in Singapore, there are also such stories. Yes, don't be surprised cuz I do know , for a fact ,of some friends, ex college mates and ex colleagues who are in such marriages. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fab Posted April 30, 2016 Report Share Posted April 30, 2016 Thats the tragedy when these guys ve no courage to face themselves. Quote 鍾意就好，理佢男定女 never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want. 结缘不结怨 解怨不解缘 After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say. 看穿不说穿 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justinys Posted April 30, 2016 Report Share Posted April 30, 2016 i'm so glad i had the courage to walk away from my then girlfriend of 5 years and a BTO flat coming on the way. Eventually initiated a break up with her and also told her that I am gay - we are still good friends ever since. And some major milestones in my life: Dated two guys since my then girlfriend, currently with the love of my life Gained the acceptance from my bf's parents, sister, brother Opened up to my family that I am gay And i have never looked back ever since. You only live once so dun rush into a marriage of regrets if you aren't ready. #YOLOFTW. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jalen88 Posted April 30, 2016 Report Share Posted April 30, 2016 As I always say, it's not DYMK but DYWK? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rene Posted August 14, 2016 Report Share Posted August 14, 2016 Better come out in the open that drag someone in miserable life Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 11, 2016 Report Share Posted September 11, 2016 a lonely gay man got marry to a gal out of boredom .Now got 2 kid but life is more stressful with the high cost of living in singapore.Yet in his heart he still fall for guys.He regret getting marry but already too late , frequent quarrel with wife and with 2 kid crying everytime make life more miserable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Terence28 Posted July 29, 2017 Report Share Posted July 29, 2017 I'm having a relationship with a married guy. I tend to be possessive in many things but i understand that I can't keep him. I love him so much and I'm willing to sacrifice being the other person in his life. We see each other at least twice a month and call everyday. It is already ok for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jetlow Posted August 14, 2017 Report Share Posted August 14, 2017 On 30/07/2017 at 1:49 AM, Guest Terence28 said: I'm having a relationship with a married guy. I tend to be possessive in many things but i understand that I can't keep him. I love him so much and I'm willing to sacrifice being the other person in his life. We see each other at least twice a month and call everyday. It is already ok for me. Good for you. I can only see my married bf if his family in vacation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Olfactorius Posted August 16, 2017 Report Share Posted August 16, 2017 On 15/08/2017 at 0:40 AM, Guest Jetlow said: Good for you. I can only see my married bf if his family in vacation. And how often would that be? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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