Guest guest_btm Posted August 30, 2007 Report Share Posted August 30, 2007 I have been smoking and drinking for 1/2 my life.Case 1When i met my 1st bf in a pub, I was drinking & smoking. After a few rounds of dates and sex, we became a couple. Few months into the relationship, he asked me to quit smoking/drinking. I cut down. However he wasn't very happy. Then one day, he threatened to start smoking/drinking. Our relationship was strained. I don't smoke in front of him. Then 1 day he was out-stationed for 2 months. He missed me and I missed him too. He called everyday. He cried when in traffic jam, he cried most of the time, and called me at all kinds of hours, even when i told him I was in a business meeting, but he will call back after few minutes. It was stressful for me, and slowly after he was back, i slowly drifted away from him, and the relationship ended.Case 2My friend met his bf (X) in a sauna. Like me after some dinner and sex, he wanted to commit to the relationship but mr X did not want too. My friend came out with many threats to force X into commitment. excessive drinking and even sleeping pills. So X relently agreed, but X continued his lifestyle in saunas gay pubs and such. My friend then uses all ways to force X to conform to his way, taking dozens of panadols, drunk driving or even self inflicted injury. X was stressed, my friend lagi stressed and the relationship is now hanging by a thin thread.I have friends who use these blackmails methods to try to make bf submit to fantasies or being used on them. Relationship is about communication, trust and accepting who he is.Anyone here uses emotion blackmail or had bf use on them? Care to share what others have used so we can learn here and not to apply to our relationship consciously or subconsciously? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reflection Posted August 30, 2007 Report Share Posted August 30, 2007 Childish, immatured and manipulative Better dont hook up. z Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Massagee Posted August 30, 2007 Report Share Posted August 30, 2007 The Manipulative Trilogy: One Cry Two Create A Scene Three Commit Suicide.I am always with emotionally stable and reasonable and mature sort. And I like to think I am the same. Some of my friends weren't so lucky. A newly found "second husband" of a friend (he believes in a balance threesome relationship, long story) recently tried to jump down a certain building, because he wanted to own my friend wholly. But of course, the act was perfectly timed, and he was rescued by my friend. After knowing how unstable he is, my friend tried to shake him off. The insane one threatened to harm my friend and his family. When he realized his ways weren't working, he called my friend's parents to out him. Luckily, his parents knew all along.It's like fatal attraction all over again. google areanpull Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dienasaw Posted August 30, 2007 Report Share Posted August 30, 2007 Some of my friends weren't so lucky. I wonder if it's element of the luck or because our friends are not careful who they hook up with and because they choose to ignore the warning signs.i think many couples don't bother to know each other well enough before they commit to the relationship. we do our research before we embark on our holidays, we seek various kinds of counsel before we buy our apartments, we get first, second and even third opinions before we go for our operations. now, we are careful with most parts of our lives, why are we so casual about our relationships?we need to spend time with the person to talk to him, listen to him, explore different topics (not just what is your fav colour, fav foods, music!)... from there, we get a basic idea of what the person is about.then get to see his life in action... his attitude towards his work, his management of his monies when he is out, how he carries himself, how he treats others, how he reacts in different circumstances, whether he cares for his family etc. now, even if he has deceived us with words, he can't get away with a false front, at least not consistently... he is bound to slip up somewhere.then leave before the relationship has a chance to take root or grab hold and not let go if he truly is a gem! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
like wind Posted August 30, 2007 Report Share Posted August 30, 2007 I don't think I will care for the guy who try blackmail me like this. But, I also will tell those who chase for me at first that I'm not into relationship. So, even if he want to threaten me for his own selfish thinking, I will not care as I had warned him at the first place...Am I also selfish by acting so cold like this?Feel like wind, roaming free Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doncoin Posted September 3, 2007 Report Share Posted September 3, 2007 One word: Drama Queens. They typically need to have some melodrama in their lives where the scene is written, acted and directed by them. They need the constant attention and so they find all sorts of means and ways to keep their audience.The sensible person in this sort of relationship first thing to do is to run as far away as you can. Love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thunderer Posted September 3, 2007 Report Share Posted September 3, 2007 Blackmail isnt the correct way to a relationship foundation setup...Care n concerned shld b the correct way..Having been single n rejected for several times, i m starting to learn the correct way of setting up a correct foundation for a relationship and i can confirm that blackmailing will only make tings worse..Blackmail wil only make tings worse so do considered before putting into actions.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted September 3, 2007 Report Share Posted September 3, 2007 Like Taiwanese soap-opera Ò» Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GachiMuchi Posted September 3, 2007 Report Share Posted September 3, 2007 Being an uncle, I've had my fair share of drama and emotional blackmail. Personally, those emotional blackmail just makes one want to leave the relationship more than making one wants to stay together.It is about "seeking" attention too. http://gachimuchi2008.blogspot.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baloo Posted September 3, 2007 Report Share Posted September 3, 2007 sometimes these 'emotional blackmail' is like playing poker... where one player tries to bluff the other by going 'show hand' when he has nothing...he is betting that the other party will give in.sometimes i'm tempted to call their hand.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted September 3, 2007 Report Share Posted September 3, 2007 he called my friend's parents to out him. Hope he did not write songs to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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