Guest Naive Guy Posted February 2, 2016 Report Share Posted February 2, 2016 I have been sharing debit/credit card with my bf. Recently his bestie used his phone and misused the card to do some online purchase. After checking the transaction history, I found out that he has spent almost $2k. The thing is that his bestie is coming from a not-so-rich family and not working yet. I wanted to ask info abt my bf's bestie but my bf is reluctant to give his bestie's contact to me. I'm not sure whether to demand my bf's bestie to return the money is a wise thing to do, since i'm afraid the problem will get worse and eventually lead to exposure of my r/ship with my bf to his family. Kindly advice on this matter. Thank you in advance all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hairy springroll Posted February 2, 2016 Report Share Posted February 2, 2016 For better and long term best be honest and frank express your care thinking and concern however dont sound like you're controlling or instructing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xLeviathan Posted February 2, 2016 Report Share Posted February 2, 2016 Misused your card. Isn't that a crime? Make that indigent thief pay up. Why is your boyfriend even protecting him? Or perhaps that "bestie" does not exist and it was your "boyfriend"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluerunner Posted February 3, 2016 Report Share Posted February 3, 2016 When it comes to money matter,it's best to draw a clear line and never share card or share account. Think of it, if mother-son, siblings, couples can fight for money, what makes you think you can be exempted? To prevent unwanted dispute and to play it safe, draw clear line er from the start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 3, 2016 Report Share Posted February 3, 2016 13 hours ago, Guest Naive Guy said: I have been sharing debit/credit card with my bf. Recently his bestie used his phone and misused the card to do some online purchase. After checking the transaction history, I found out that he has spent almost $2k. The thing is that his bestie is coming from a not-so-rich family and not working yet. I wanted to ask info abt my bf's bestie but my bf is reluctant to give his bestie's contact to me. I'm not sure whether to demand my bf's bestie to return the money is a wise thing to do, since i'm afraid the problem will get worse and eventually lead to exposure of my r/ship with my bf to his family. Kindly advice on this matter. Thank you in advance all. seems like all parties in this saga are not yet very mature, therefore the whole thing has been allowed to happen, does your Bf even care about how you feel do you think honestly that your bf even care that your feelings and bank account has been hurt in this saga, does your boyfriend even respect your right to not feel being betrayed or lied to , will your boyfriend MAN UP , and say to you he will bear the cost of your financial loss if he wants to keep the bestie and you . it is always diificult ot make your bf choose between your bf and bestie and. you . Take it as a lesson learned, tell yourself that you spend $2000 +- to learn a lesson and if you cannot get that money back , just comfort yourself taht you had helped someone by giving that person a christmas present.if you are thick skinned enough and want to be nasty, you can always highlight and rant not stop to the recpient of your money that the watch he is wearing is nice and beautiful and it is thanks to your hard earned money. You paid for it , the gift and you have the rights to BRAG about it, just get on the bfs nerves and the besties nerves and keep ranting about your generosity, and if the bf complaint just said it was your money and you have the right to praise yourself . If bf dont like it, hell ask him to cough up his own money nad make the purchase for the bestie but if it was genuine hardship case, then let it go and say that you have done a good deed, who knows if the bestie may had to prostitute himslef to get that $2000 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HydroNaut Posted February 3, 2016 Report Share Posted February 3, 2016 The normal case case is that your bf is using your credit cards to favor another guy best known as "bestie". Good Luck. Period. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyglobe Posted February 3, 2016 Report Share Posted February 3, 2016 if u r ready to accept and forgive, then bear the cost and take it as a expensive lesson learnt, ensure it won't happen again in the future....if u r not, then probe further but u should worry about your relationship getting sore rather than the exposure to his family...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azimuth Posted February 3, 2016 Report Share Posted February 3, 2016 Terminate the card immediately. mate69 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carpenter Posted February 3, 2016 Report Share Posted February 3, 2016 Never ever ever share anything that could cost you to lose money, unless if the trust is there n he had proved himself enough to be considered trustworthy in ur eyes. the weird thing bout your relationship is if your bf has this so called bestie, you should have known n met this person. I'll just assume that you rs isn't even that long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Naive Guy Posted February 3, 2016 Report Share Posted February 3, 2016 Thanks all for the inputs. Yes I have indeed blocked the card. And yes it's an expensive lesson to be learnt. Of course there's a possibility that the "bestie" is even non-existent. But somehow my gut feeling telling me that I can trust him and he's being truthful. He's staying in a landed house... so erm.. I would say he won't risk our r/ship if he's really the one that used the money. Anyway, once again I agree that there should be early communication abt money as early as possible in our r/ship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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