HendryTan Posted September 6, 2017 Posted September 6, 2017 http://www.sixthtone.com/news/1000797/how-chinas-male-sex-workers-mix-business-with-pleasure Cai Yifeng Sep 04, 2017 Cai YifengPh.D. candidate Cai Yifeng is a Ph.D. candidate at Brown University’s Anthropology department. When I went to China in May to study “money boys” — male prostitutes providing sexual services to male clients, known colloquially as MBs — I imagined that I would be seeking entry into a world of darkness, violence, and suffering. In China, the word “prostitution” seems to conjure up a rather specific image in people’s minds. Whether in movies, novels, or even academic works, the sex industry is always depicted as an abyss where the country’s poor — particularly uneducated rural migrants — are forced into sex work to survive the unforgiving life of the metropolis. Modern media teaches us that sex workers live in cramped, dirty, and cheap rented apartments with no private bathrooms. They endure verbal, mental, and physical abuse from their customers. They have to hide from the authorities to avoid fines or detention. And all the while, sex workers are accosted by evil-minded pimps who force people to work even when they are sick, and fire volleys of their own abuse when MBs fail to bring in enough money. The Chinese popular image of sex work is unsurprising. Prostitution is illegal here, and MBs’ compensated sexual services violate China’s law and regulations. Therefore, transactional sex is a largely underground, unsupervised phenomenon that poses threats to the well-being of both MBs and their clients. This is not the whole picture, however. The MBs I researched in China's big cities revealed certain nuances frequently overlooked by the general public. Indeed, my sympathy and sense of social justice were displaced when I realized suffering was actually quite hard to find. Take Nan as an example. A former spa employee, Nan works as a personal trainer at a well-known local chain of gyms. He also has a solid customer base to whom he provides regular sexual services. Even back when he was working at the spa — in truth, a massage parlor whose workers frequently administered “happy endings” to paying customers — he was already making close to 40,000 yuan (about $6,000) a month. Nan left the spa after newly hired younger guys gradually made him less competitive. However, with a regular flow of customers from that job, as well as new clients he brought in from personal training, Nan is able to live comfortably in one of China’s biggest cities. Even without tips, MBs often earn more than many of white-collar workers in China. - Cai Yifeng, Ph.D. candidate “How much do your services cost?” I asked him during one interview at the apartment where he lives and works. “Several hundred yuan,” Nan laughed. “But you see, my main income doesn’t come from sex, but from tips. Sometimes people will tip me thousands more.” I must have looked awestruck, so Nan continued: “That’s nothing. I have a friend whose client bought him a house in his rural hometown and a small apartment in Shanghai. It all depends on how lucky you are in getting wealthy clients who will take care of you.” Indeed, throughout my fieldwork with multiple MBs, I noticed that they almost never struggled financially. Their prices ranged from 400 yuan for a massage with a happy ending to 7,000 yuan for intercourse. Even without tips, MBs often earn more than many of white-collar workers in China. But their earning power was not the only thing that surprised me. I was also intrigued by how blurred the line between selling sex and hooking up often became during these men’s sexual encounters. Most people in China still assume that people who sell sex don’t enjoy it; it is taken for granted that they endure the work to make money. Today, though, many customers who pay for sex are in fact young, conventionally attractive men. MBs themselves are frequently drawn to some of their own customers. In these cases, it becomes complicated to separate transactions between MBs and customers from sex between two or more mutually attracted men. Liang, another MB I met during my fieldwork, said in blunt terms that he sometimes wanted to have sex with certain customers the minute they walked into the room: “I won’t even care about the tips, you know?” This is no “Moulin Rouge” moment where the prostitute falls in love with the customer and charges nothing; it is, however, real sexual tension, something that complicates the otherwise transactional nature of the MB-client relationship. The question here, then, is how one defines this kind of human interaction. It has all the elements of a hookup: Two or more individuals have casual sex due to mutual physical attraction. But it also fits the definition of prostitution: Sexual services are provided and compensated. Sex, work, desire, money, pleasure, intimacy — these are all components of sexual transactions, at once distinct, entangled, and compatible. - Cai Yifeng, Ph.D. candidate After all, it is not as if intimacy or pleasure cannot coexist with monetary transactions. What if selling sex and hooking up simply cannot be separated sometimes? What if receiving money for sexual services does not exclude the possibility of mutual affection or sexual desire? Many cultures are replete with stories preaching the sacredness of “true love” and the detestability of money, framing the two as mutually exclusive. In Chinese literature, the famous female prostitute Du Shiniang allegedly threw a chest of treasure into a river, and then drowned herself, after her lover sold her to a passing merchant. In short, we are told that money and love are incompatible. But is that really so? As Liang indicates above, it is entirely possible that MBs can genuinely desire sex with their clients. My fieldwork dispelled the prejudice that China’s sex industry only consists of trafficked victims forced into prostitution. Granted, human trafficking most certainly exists — but to see that as the only reality is mistaken. For many MBs, selling sex and hooking up are deeply entangled. My conversation with another MB named Zhang further illustrates this point. When I asked about his daily routine, Zhang replied: “I’m not always online trying to find a client, you know. Sometimes I only log into [gay and bisexual dating apps] Jack’d or Grindr because I’m horny, and I only respond to guys I find attractive.” “Why would you still charge them then if you like them?” I asked, incredulous. “Why not? It’s like getting paid to hook up. How great is that?” Zhang exclaimed. Sex, work, desire, money, pleasure, intimacy — these are all components of sexual transactions, at once distinct, entangled, and compatible. It’s like dropping different-colored liquids into a bowl of water: It is impossible — and in my opinion unnecessary and meaningless — to try and separate them. I left China with totally different data from what I expected, pondering the fluidity of my interviewees’ lives and my newly confounded sense of social justice. Back in the city, Nan, Liang, and Zhang carried on with their jobs, wealthy, fulfilled — and not asking to be “saved” from anything.
HendryTan Posted September 6, 2017 Author Posted September 6, 2017 http://www.sixthtone.com/news/1000169/how-i-became-a-husband%2C-father%2C-and-sex-worker How I Became a Husband, Father, and Sex Worker A married man reflects on his 12 years in the sex industry. Da Xiong May 09, 2017 Da XiongMale sex worker Da Xiong — “Big Bear” — is the pseudonym for a male sex worker from Inner Mongolia who travels to different cities for work. The park seemed like heaven to me, brimming with so many gay men. In 2005, I had just moved to Shenyang from Inner Mongolia [in northern China], and I ended up at Bayi Park without knowing it was a cruising spot. I wandered around the area because I had no money and no place to stay — my friend who was hosting me had abruptly left the city. That’s where I met Cat Walk, a transgender woman who took me under her wing. I lived with Cat Walk for three years, and one of her friends introduced me to sex work. It was easy money. Initially, I worried about my body shape: I’m a big guy, a “bear” as we say in gay slang, and most of the gay men cruising in the park preferred slim, youthful “twinks.” Most of the sex workers were transgender women or cross-dressers. A lot of straight men scouting the area paid for sex with transgender women without realizing. I hesitated at first but saw no other options, so I dressed in drag. I was really shy on the first night, but I ended up with three men. I realized I could make a lot more than the 1,000-yuan monthly salary I would have made working in Inner Mongolia. It’s not easy where I come from. Growing up in a remote village, I often questioned why I liked boys, and if I were the only one who was attracted to the same sex. I even tried opening up to one of my female friends one drunken night, but she told me I was sick and should seek treatment. I defended myself and said it wasn’t a disease, but she was not convinced. Eventually, I quit school, worked at a karaoke bar, and mostly stayed home. I felt isolated, and my parents were pressuring me to get married as well. So that’s when I decided I had to make that great leap and move to Shenyang, [the capital of northeastern China’s Liaoning province]. Mostly, it’s business as usual, but sometimes romance is inevitable. - Da Xiong, male sex worker After three years there, it didn't feel safe anymore because more gay men began cruising in the area, which meant more scrutiny. I traveled to Shenzhen [in southern China] along with two friends who promised me a job as a male escort at a luxury club. That didn’t work out, but I ended up at a similar establishment. Shenzhen was different — better. I didn’t have to cross-dress anymore. I was more comfortable with my sexuality and could be openly gay. Also, it was a really high-end club: Around eight of us lived in a rented apartment, and we would be on call all day and night. Money was good, too, considering we only paid 30 percent commission to the club owners. We would end up staying overnight with some clients. Mostly, it’s business as usual, but sometimes romance is inevitable. There is love, and also heartbreak. One client fell in love with me and convinced me to stop working, and I did. We lived together for three years — it was a steady relationship. He was a nice guy, but to be honest, I wasn’t romantically inclined, so I left him. The last 12 years has been erratic. In between soliciting sex at the park in Shenyang, and later working as an escort in Shenzhen and then [nearby] Guangzhou, I often returned to Inner Mongolia. I tried my hand at farming and at the restaurant business. Da Xiong takes a walk through a neighborhood in Shanghai, April 27, 2017. Wu Huiyuan/Sixth Tone In 2015, I married a woman. We’d been good friends for over 10 years — she’s the one I’d told I was into men — and we shared an apartment. We even shared the same bed, and the next thing I knew, she was pregnant. It just happened. I felt obligated to marry her — it was the right thing to do and also made my parents happy. Soon our daughter was born, and we became a family of five, including my parents. Staying in my hometown and making 3,000 yuan a month wasn’t enough to feed my family anymore, and we were in debt. Considering that I didn’t even graduate from high school, it was impossible to get a better job. Not to mention, I’m already 40 now. Being a sex worker was the easiest way to earn good money. And so I returned to where I came from. But in recent years, the sex industry has changed. I don’t have to venture out to parks and streets. I can just put my bio and photos on a website, and people can contact me. I still manage to earn between 7,000 and 10,000 yuan per month. For sex workers, technology seems like a double-edged sword: I feel it has empowered us in that we now have more control over our clients, but on the other hand, it’s also easier for people to hook up. These sites and mobile apps offer free sex for some, but they’re killing our business. The next thing I knew, she was pregnant […] I felt obligated to marry her. - Da Xiong, male sex worker These days, I usually travel to another city for sex work. It’s like a business trip, and that way, I can be far from home. My wife, however, thinks I work at a factory in Suzhou [in eastern China]. During our phone conversations, she usually inquires about my work, and I fabricate stories and send her photos of a factory where my friend works so she doesn’t suspect anything. If I don’t call regularly, she often worries that I might be having an affair with another woman. I lie to her every day. I feel like I’m a man with dual identities — I’m living a lie. Since I have a daughter now, I often reflect on my work. I’m raising my child with the money I make from selling my body, with dirty money — it feels wrong. But I don’t see any other option for myself. I’ll work as long as I can and earn enough money to clear the debt and support my family. Am I ashamed? Do I regret it? It’s pointless to think about that. People grow up in different circumstances, which lead them to make certain choices. I made a choice. But I don’t like this job — it’s illegal, and I’m always scared of getting arrested or getting a disease, though I always play safe. And it’s a humiliating feeling, serving people who treat you like a dog. If I had another chance, I wouldn’t do this, and if I were reborn, I wouldn’t want to be born as a gay man. As told to Sixth Tone’s Bibek Bhandari and Zhong Changqian.
abang Posted September 6, 2017 Posted September 6, 2017 老饼狂想曲 如果我还年轻，我也要做做男妓。 不过有时候在曼谷看到小鲜肉在酒吧里，挥霍青春，再看看那群超丑的死老外，什么念头当场都消失。
Leanmeat Posted September 6, 2017 Posted September 6, 2017 5 hours ago, abang said: 老饼狂想曲 如果我还年轻，我也要做做男妓。 不过有时候在曼谷看到小鲜肉在酒吧里，挥霍青春，再看看那群超丑的死老外，什么念头当场都消失。 Hahaa. Not many got the luck to get nice pleasant looking clients I guess
Guest MbbU Posted September 6, 2017 Posted September 6, 2017 This gets so ridiculous that most customers at a Chinese sauna will try to ask for money after sex. Even those ugly ones or fat or old ones. I got pestered by them so frequency even though I'm not even interested in them. Now I'll reverse psychology by telling them I'm money uncle and ask them for rmb500 before sex. 他媽的，some of them really wanted to pay me. But these are really really fat or ugly ones. Of course I won't service them, not even for 10x the money. That's the truth, the interviews avoid asking the MBs about the unpleasant side.
Guest Pleasure Posted September 8, 2017 Posted September 8, 2017 Wish I could have pleasure with some of them! So horny!
Guest Memory Posted September 10, 2017 Posted September 10, 2017 One time in Shenzhen, I had a MB who was fit and had a big tool. We f-ck for 24 hrs and his kisses and licking still make me horny! Wow! He had good skill, I guess through practice...
Recommended Posts