So i broke up with the love of my life..

[notd]

Personally, if a guy can't give up his dreams or goals to be with you, then your time with him has pretty much come to an end. Likewise, you can't expect someone to give up everything for your sake.

 

Do you watch too much dramas? Probably. But life is what you make out of it. Some people have chosen to give up their friends and family for the sake of someone they love. It's not wrong, some people would chide you for the choices you've made but at the end of the day, you do what you want with your life. I know at one point, I burned bridges with two of my closest friends when I met my first boyfriend, thinking we were meant to last seeing as how "monogamous" we were. Following our breakup, I attempted to reach out to my friends, to apologize to them. It goes without saying that they didn't take too well to me "crawling back", though the reconciliation has always been a secondary intention of mine. And naturally, they weren't very welcoming with my presence, so I let it slip and decided not to pursue anything further. 

 

I know of people who have given up their careers and dreams to be with the one they love, and the other party was more than happy to be the provider, my parents are one of them. The only thing my mom knows her entire life is my dad, for he was the one to provide for her in her entire life since marrying to him. In a way, it breeds complacency because my folks are in their mid 60s and 70s respectively, and my mom is becoming increasingly mentally unstable due to the sheer fact she can't fathom a life without my dad when he kicks the bucket, someday. For what it's worth though, neither of them complained. She was his rock and he was her wall. 

 

Alas, that sort of relationship doesn't happen in our generation, mainly because this generation preaches self-love and independence. And due to how fickle-minded modern romance can be, everyone's out there searching for a new high or something that is on par with their standards, or they wouldn't settle for anything less. If someone gives up his dreams and goals to be with you, you know he's a keeper. Will you grow tired of him someday? That's for you to decide. 

 

Love is an easy topic made complicated in today's society. To form a long lasting relationship with your desired person, you'd have to be well-educated, financially stable, decent looking and somewhat attractive. These days, everyone's got the looks and money, but a new requisite has arose, and that is your studies. Regardless of the nature of your relationship, people demand that their partner come equipped with a master's, phd. Degrees are very much a thing of the past and failure to have one, to many, speaks of the fact that you "can't plan for the future" even though some people are cerebral in different ways.

 

What I'm saying is this, it seems you know what you want out of your relationship but I also see that you have a long way to go in life. Consider improving yourself so that you feel good about yourself and the right guy of your desired standards will come into your life. Always be prepared to accept the fact that love is a short-lived affair. No matter how long you've been together, relationships are bound to end at some point. If the both of you remain till death do you apart, good. Otherwise, move on knowing you gained lessons from your relationship. To place all your hopes onto your partner without offering anything in return is rather unfavorable, but when you have your own worth, you know for a fact that the fate of your romance lies in your hands. You won't be going from one relationship to the other hoping the guy stays or expecting him to do so. If a guy doesn't stay despite all the worth that you are, then at least you know it's not your problem. The last thing you want is for someone to tell you things like "you can't plan for the future" or "you're just holding me back". It also means you won't jump into the next relationship hoping the new guy would provide for you, not saying that you are anyway but if a guy wants to pursue his own goals and dreams, then you know for a fact that you can no longer count on him, and that should be the case anyway, don't ever count on someone to keep you happy. Career, family, romance etc. If you place your security and happiness in someone else's hands, every time a separation happens, you're back to square one. 

 

I am, and always will be a believer in monogamy but I've learned to cut ties in a relationship if I know it's going awry. Time is short, and your youth shorter. Just remember that at the end of the day, you should never regret the choices you made in life. 

 

Edited February 5, 2020 by notd

[fab]

He loves you. 

 

But he loves himself more.

Edited February 4, 2020 by fab

[Steve5380]

14 hours ago, Heartless said:

Love is overly romanticised...

 

Yes, this is true...  when you don't love and you haven't loved.

 

Love is like an addictive drug.  Experience it once,  and life starts to lose value without it.

Then love becomes essential.  Not necessarily by being in love at the time,  but at least by having the experience of successful love.

[yag123123]

On 7/11/2018 at 9:16 PM, Guest BrokenHearted said:

Just broke up with my bf of 1 year today.. We both love each other very much, but neither side could give in.

 

Met my partner through an app. He was my very first. We started out texting, got along really well, and decided to meet up. It was love at first sight. Maybe I was too naive.

 

We spend almost every single day together and enjoyed each others' company very much. We were both very happy and contented. Everything was well, and I truly believed I've found someone I can spend the rest of my life with.

 

Fast forward one year, we've had a few small arguments in between, but its normal in any relationship, right? And it always gets resolved very quickly.

 

I was someone who was willing to give everything up for him, literally. And I'd hope he feels the same.

 

We were suppose to spend time together as usual, but he then decided to plan something else with his friends and told me we couldn't spend time together on one of the days. I was really unhappy about it, but nothing was done, just some silent treatment.

 

The next day, I confronted him about the issue, and althought overly dramatic, decided to give him an ultimatum. The choice should've been obvious. A partner who you will spend the rest of your life with? Or friends that you will one day drift further away from, because they too will find their own love, start their own families, and have new priorities in life?

 

The answers he gave? He picked his female best friends that he had known since his schooling days in Ngee Ann Poly. He want friends, he want family and relatives, he want personal space. All of which does not includes me. Everything fell apart from there.

 

Call me clingy or possessive, it doesn't matter. There are people in this world who would prioritize their lover over everything else.. and then there are people who don't. I know it's not an issue of right or wrong, but merely a matter of what each of us considers more important in their own life. I thought I was important enough for him to pick me over everything else. I had simply misjudged and ended up heartbroken.

 

What about you guys? Do you want a partner who can give everything up for you? Can you give everything up for the one you love most?

 

 

Or I watch too much drama and ended up having the wrong concept in my head? Feel free to comment..

 

 

Yes he can  be the love of your life...

 

But you need to give time with his family and friends...

 

If you really love him....you will trust and give him the benefit of doubt too..

 

The world does not revolve  around you alone... you need to take care of his family and friends by...letting him have his own time with them..

 

Maybe....out of spite...and anger he choose the best friend of his...

 

Hope  you guys can get back together again...dont make the same mistake as I did...