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  1. Time Should I waste my time on you who i can't control Should i waste my time on things that is of my beyond Can't we see the time that went tick tock Is this the right time or is it not? They say time flows like a stream To a land where there are many dreams But you told me you did like to be a place full of surprises and supremes There are no other choices but this is the way its seems. I do not know what to say The world is so full of grey You say I am imperfect and this I know Yet I still think you are gold I may be kind and silly but it’s not fine. Your avoidant ways clearly shows through time Time will reveal who you are And you can really be a pain in the arse Letting you go should keep you afar As there is nothing left to be my fuss Finally I can get on my path. E.T. 13.01.2019
  2. i am at a local sauna. i pull one guy into a dark corner to fxxk. he later told me he was virgin. after some rest, i went back for second round. got another guy. after fxxking and talking cock, he also said he was virgin. either it was virgin nite or there is a trend that btm like to say they are virgin. need to say they were quite tight but one of them seem too familiar with fxxking position. i think he lie to me.
  3. 很难说得上是幸福还是不幸福。一如异性婚姻,也不知能一齐走完人生路的能有几个?可以肯定的,已婚而有白头偕老的居多,因为有法律保障,也有子女牵制。但我偏偏还是对上了一个已婚的好男人。怎么办?
  4. Veloster

    Phonesex

    Anyone for phone sex...fit or toned bi guys or gay ...pics required...anyone from 21 to 38 ....
  5. Lately, got to know a pleasant guy in Penang. He is very sure that I am the one for him and wanting to get commit into a relationship. So am I. But am confused as to how to manage a long distance relationship.. Been sharing with my friends and most advised to look here.. Any guys have advices to maintaining it ?
  6. For anyone who wish find the guy who you have crossed path with but did not manage to connect, be it at the gym, sauna or even bus stops. For those yet to find the connections, it is a group to mingle and make friends/dates/fun buddy/long term connections. All races, ages and body sizes are free to join. https://t.me/joinchat/xirXfMv5owplMWQ1 *This is the same missed connection telegram group as before 😊
  7. If you believe in love not open relationship type, do pm me your tele. This tele is for those who keen to meet up for dates meaning meet as friends first and see how it goes. Once added, just share what you seek, stats and share what you look for. Share dating tips, place of interest for meet up and etc...staycay... Non sexual Tele.
  8. Hey guys, I need advice to handle this situation. My boyfriend and I am in a relationship for almost 2 years now. We never had anal sex from the start and it bothers me. I did told him that i miss getting fuck but he always told me to give him time. He did have problem with getting an erection. He tried supplements that i bought for him like tongkat ali and maca and some supplements from the States he bought himself. It does help a bit but the erection will be gone fast. Sometimes he asked me whether I would like to get another guy to fuck me and he just watch. I reject the offer all the time and told him I am willing to wait for him to heal. I am not willing to do it with other guy because it feels like cheating. I mean that would be an open relationship instead and I only want him and not other guy to have me on bed especially having sex. Maybe I just sound selfish and conservative but it is the way I am treating my partner all this time. I hope you guys here can share some tips on how to handle this. Any product that is good for erection? I scare that if this problem gets prolong it will end up with him having erectile dysfunction.
  9. I arrived at my workplace yesterday, and headed straight to a public toilet to adjust my hair. Suddenly there was this cisco officer who came into the washroom and had his eyes on me while going up to the the urinal. Even when he was peeing, his eyes was locked onto. Not that I was checking him out, but when someone glares at you, I'm sure you would be able to feel it. So once he was done, he stood next to me with a very obvious bulge while washing his hands. Once I was done, I quickly walked out to get a slip of water from the water cooler and saw him looking for me. I head back to that same direction as my work place was there and he suddenly approached and ask me to follow him to the enclosed stairs. I have no idea why I did that, maybe because he was armed? Then when we entered the enclosed room, I asked him ??? He replied 'come hook up'. I was very nervous and excited but didn't want to get wet and dirty as I'm just about to start work, so I rejected him and say maybe next time, smiled and go. Omggg,He had such a big bulge. Ok that's not the point. That was the second time I met him, the first time he just had his eyes on me all the way as well. What do you guys think, to go or not to go? Guys in uniform are so hot, especially with a big bulge LOL
  10. I have been thinking for quite some time now that we have Singapore's Gay Missed Connection. Why not we make a Malaysia Edition for Malaysian gays? So here goes with my starting missed connection. Edwin from Kepong. Saw u earlier in cf but end up not talking much and walked away. I think you are cute. So if you are here, just drop me a message. xD
  11. 被爆多人運動還「用藥助興」 本土劇男星含淚出櫃回應了 2021/09/28 20:45 演員江俊翰被爆又染毒!一名自稱他男友的男子在IG上爆料,指他藉由朋友取得毒品,藉此用來提升性行為的樂趣,還爆料江俊翰要求他上軟體多人約友,甚至要求他打類固醇變壯助興! ▼自稱江俊翰男友的男子,在IG上爆料兩人交往細節,還有多張親密合照。(圖/翻攝自IG) 江俊翰曾是男子團體「三片吐司」成員之一,原藝名姜冠豪,2007年因參加毒品轟趴被逮,2018年二度染毒,如今再度被爆料吸毒。據一名自稱是他男友的人在IG上發文,指兩人從去年4月交往至今感情非常好,「真的可惜中途你藉由朋友取得毒品,慫恿我一起利用安來提升我們OO(性行為)的樂趣,幫我施打了針,也後來甚至要求我上軟體約多人....這樣嗨玩。」 該男子還指出,因為多人約友又吸毒,「讓我精神開始產生錯亂,讓我們爭吵不休,甚至你喜歡我變得更壯還幫我打了類固醇的針劑,害我全身長滿毛囊炎,現在留下整身的爛疤,永遠都治癒不好,留下一輩子的印記,謝謝你。」 ▼一名自稱是他男友的人在IG上發文,指兩人從去年4月交往至今感情非常好。(圖/翻攝自IG) 這名男子甚至還詳細描述江俊翰的性器官特徵,IG上也貼出多張兩人的合照,看起來相當親密。不過本刊私訊該男並未獲得回覆,而江俊翰本人則是向媒體坦承性向,但否認PO文中所描述的性事情節與慫恿吸毒一事,同時也指控發文的前男友是「恐怖情人」,淚訴今年7月就已提分手但仍遭糾纏至今。 ▼江俊翰指控發文的前男友是「恐怖情人」。(圖/翻攝自江俊翰臉書) 文章來源:男星江俊翰被爆「多人運動」還用藥 含淚出櫃自清控遇恐怖情人 由《CTWANT》授權轉載。 ●東森新聞關心您 不良行為,請勿模仿 尊重身體自主權!請撥打113、110 吸食毒品,有害身心健康。 (封面圖/翻攝自IG/CTWANT)
  12. what are your views with sex with colleagues? I got friends who are VERY scared of bumping into colleagues when cruising. I understand if they are toilet cruising but what if you are in a gay spa? What is there to be afraid of? If they are there, they are also gay? If so, will you have sex with them?
  13. When things get hard… We’ve #GotYouCovered A Wingman is somebody who looks out for you and is there for you through all your ups and downs in life: Be it on social events, sexual encounters, mental matters or even other areas. A Wingman is someone whom you can confide in about your sexual experiences, without fear of judgment because you know they have your best interests at heart. You also know that they will be able to help you make the best decision for your sexual health. A Wingman is someone who guides you through the good & bad days. They are, after all, your pillar of support and you know you can depend on them because they love you for go to the link to claim your free test coupon for your friend(s)! http://www.gayhealth.sg/wingman/
  14. What will u do when u found out that your lover is fxxking around with another guy and you came to know who this guy is and his contact.Will you confront this guy or what will u do.I need advice from experience guys here.Thanks
  15. I think kiasi has varying levels of intensity, and it is subjective to individuals. Furthermore, kiasi is not to be confused with paranoia, which can sometimes be clinical or psychological in nature. The kind of kiasi I'm referring to are petty kiasi folks, who are constantly critical about the littlest things in life and cannot seem to take a break. These are the folks that will tell you things like... "Ei, don't go workout under the sun so often ya. Later you catch cancer." or... "Don't drink soft drinks after 9PM ya, bad for the stomach." Even... "Don't go the gym so often, later you injure yourself." In life, we all need to exhibit a level of prudence and caution in things. Be it a low or high-risk activity, we should fundamentally realize that there is a risk in everything. From something as harmless as drinking a glass of filtered/tap water to going out to get groceries in an endemic. Petty kiasi folks, in my opinion, are people who constantly live in the future and its uncertainty, and therefore deprive themselves of any ability to be present. A day lived is another day survived for them, and they fixate on the future to excessively though no one ever knows if we will get there anyway. They may sometimes even damage their own relationship as their tendency to be a buzzkill can upset people frequently to the point that it wears out their other half's love for them. By no means are these kiasi folks a fault of their own. I have some kiasi friends who developed this need to be overly cautious as form of defensive mechanism in life. Sometimes, this mindset arrives from the fear of being a burden to others. For those who harbor such thoughts, this is truly a saddening sight indeed. I can't stress this enough that kiasi is not to be confused with prudence or cautiousness, nor is it psychologically linked to any disorders. A paranoid person may be kiasi, but a kiasi person isn't inherently paranoid, but an overthinker who can't seem to catch a break. So back to main topic, would you foresee spending your entire life with a kiasi person? To me, I would love to have someone who wishes to prepare for the unknown, but not to the extent that they fixate on it and induce stress on themselves. I still prefer someone who is present at all times.
  16. It's not easy at all when he's serving NS while you're not. Especially when he's your one and only. There are a lot time where you feel like giving up because you're just so deprived of his time, his company, basically deprived of him. But you can't do anything. Even when he's out, he's mostly tired which means he would spend most of his timing resting. This is just one of many unspoken pain points. But at the end of the day, we keep reminding each other to be understanding and think from each other's point of view so we can come to a common ground. As long as I know deep down we still love each other, I will continue to wait for him. Anyone share these common pain point as well?
  17. A. My First Love – Kong Chapter 1: If must be A Mistake by God At end of my first year, I had an interview with the liberal varsity Christian Students Fellowships on the condition that my identity was to be kept anonymous. It was reported subsequently on its monthly publication of campus profile & personality column. Following are extracted from the publication. Q: You are an interesting person, with your long hair, fair complexion & demure personality; will you tell me what your sexual identification is? Are you a gay? A: No, a definite no, I am not gay. Q: So, what are you? A: I am a cross dresser, a behavior that deemed unacceptable in this conservative society. Except my childhood friend named Ling, for about 21 years of my life I keep this fetish a secret. Q: Since when you found about this fetish? A: Maybe around 15 in sec. 3. But I think the desire was there much earlier. Q: Any related incident to tell? A: Yes, I remember there was this day when 3 good looking young chaps walking passed when I water the plants at the front yard. My hands clung tightly on the fence while watching them intensely. I was mesmerized by their walks, talks & smiles, couple with the crystal clear ringing tones came from the anklets they worn, from that moment, I had dreamt that one day I would be as pretty, as elegant & as sweet as them. Q: So instead of women, can I say you are craving for men? A: No, not at all. Not even a single though throughout the young age. Q: Why? A: It is insane, it never occurs in my mind, as I like only the beautiful things. Q: But by chance I do notice that you were at Chatter Box with this guy behaving so intimately. A: I am not trying to lie, yes, he is my boyfriend, but it started when I was doing my national service. Q: A bold question here & you may choose not to answer, i.e. any sexual relationship in-between? A: Hmm… there is, but it is between a guy & a lady, not man to man. I played the female role all times. Small talks & patting are vital to get me mentally satisfied rather than the stuff, you know? Q: Okay, beside the event of awakening by the 3 good looking chaps’ incident, I believe you just didn’t stop there, right? A: Yes, I went into stealing. Q: Stealing? A: Yes, as student I did not have extra money, so I stole. Moreover, it was not convenience to buy even if I do have the money. Q: Not convenience? A: Let me explain. My first stealing was being at a daily trip from school to home. On this humid sunny afternoon, I walked on this back lane hung with wet clothing on the bamboo poles. I glanced from far focusing on the usual location with rows of lady apparels. Walking sheepishly up, down & back, I grasped a pair of bra & panties & walked off quickly. I shielded the wet stuff in the school bag & walked home hurriedly, I were not sure my stealing was spotted by anyone but simply walked & walked with head down. Back to my room, I explored the wet stuff, I felt excited with heart pumping hard, feeling wonderful about it. Since then the stealing took place whenever opportunity occurred, but I make it a point never steal on the same location. All these were kept in a biscuit tin tightly closed & hide behind the bookshelf. This went on throughout my secondary & high school days. Q: Gosh, it must be hard on you. A: Yeah, I struggled with this all those early years, this life had been very tough, it was sinful, shameful & I had hated it. Imagine having to grow up under the fear of being caught by the public, the owners & or even found out by the family members for such sickening fetish. It had been at the very core of all my problems growing up right into adulthood. Q: Didn’t you seek help from your parent? A: No never. I believe grandma & mom cannot understand. Q: What about your dad? A: Well, we never in good talking term, as far as I am concerned, he is just a jerk. Q: Thanks for telling me all these. Do you have anything to add before ending this discussion? A: Till my life end, it is a problem that can never go away. I will use a quote from Karl Augustus Menninger (an American psychiatrist) to describe the conflicting feeling. “When a trout rising to a fly gets hooked on a line & find himself unable to swim freely, he begins with a fight which results in struggles & splashes & sometimes an escape. Often, Of course, the situation is too tough for him. In the same way the human being struggles with his environment & with the hooks that catch him. Sometimes he masters his difficulties; sometimes they are too much for him. His struggles are all that the world sees & it naturally misunderstands them. It is hard for a free fish to understand what is happening to a hooked one.” x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x To be continued...
  18. Hey, I'm been pretty worried about my non-existent dating life that I'm not really sure where to turn to and hope the guys on this forum would be able to give some advice. I'm in my mid-20s. I've been single for the past few years. The last time I had a boyfriend or dated was in university when it was easy to meet lots of new people. Now I'm starting to worry if there's something wrong with me, or at least, what I can do about my situation. The first thought is maybe I'm unattractive, but I genuinely don't believe that's the whole reason (at least I hope not). I don't think I'm unattractive per se, but maybe...unattractive to gay guys? It seems in Singapore (and most places), gay men are attracted to muscular, masculine jock-types. I'm actually not ugly, I'd say I'm moderately good looking. But the thing is I'm 'cute'. 'Cute' like those K/J/C-Pop flower boys. I've been told this numerous times throughout my life by friends & strangers. Random people would come up to make a comment about me being 'cute' or 'pretty'. When I travel in China or Japan, random people would come and ask to take pictures with me & some would ask if I'm some type of idol. I know it sounds insanely up myself to be saying these things but I really want to convince you that I'm not ugly. In any case, I used to take these comments as a compliment, but now that I'm in my mid-20s, I'm not so sure I want to keep being 'cute'. I'm not overly muscular (but not super skinny either). My personality isn't very feminine, but it's not very butch either. I'd say I'm very average, although I'm a bit short (170cm). It's just my face is very 'sweet'. I look like these guys: In the straight world, people won't say these guys are ugly...but in the gay world, it's not usually the kind of guys most gay men find attractive. So..I'm just kinda wondering...is there a market for guys like this? And if so, where? How do I find them? What do I go to meet them and how do I start dating them? I've been out of the market for so long I really don't know where to start. Please help. Any advice would be really appreciated. Thank you
  19. I am finding so difficult to approach a Bangla or Indian workers for a quick bj for their big cocks. Can you guys share tips...... I could not find any latest forums on this.
  20. Why I No Longer Want To Be Gay Luis Pabon NOVEMBER 17, 2014 I no longer want to be gay. I know that on the surface this statement reeks of the denial, self-loathing and internalized homophobia commonly associated with accepting and integrating ones gayness but truth is, I just don’t want to be gay anymore. It has outlived its usefulness. I have experienced all aspects of the life and can safely say that it no longer speaks to the person that I am or want to become. I didn’t always feel this way. Initially I came to this community searching for love, intimacy and brotherhood. In return, I got shade, infidelity, loneliness and disunity. The self-loathing in this community forces you to encounter a series of broken men who are self-destructive, hurtful, cruel and vindictive towards one another. I have struggled to adapt my moral code to fit the behaviors concomitant with the lifestyle but it seems that the lifestyle is forcing me too far away from everything I love and value. No matter how many times I try to purge my perception of its firmly held beliefs and skewed biases, the same classic stereotypes of gay men keep rearing their ugly heads. The indiscriminate sex, superficiality, unstable relationships, self-hatred, peter pan syndrome, closeted connections, ageism, shade, loneliness, preoccupation with sex, prejudice, aversion to intimacy all seem to come out of the ground I thought they were buried under. Gay men just seem to find it difficult to transcend the stereotypes and clichés attached to the life and it is becoming disheartening. It has been seven years since I decided to live my life as an openly gay male and it has not been an easy road. It has been fraught with much pain and misery that I initially tried to mask with alcohol, drugs, sex and parties. In the beginning it was hard to admit that I liked other men. But I did and it was a very freeing experience. It gave me the opportunity to assert my identity when for years I struggled with this. It gave me a chance to be my own activist and stand up in the face of opposition from family, friends and society as a whole. I took pride in my gay pride and felt as though I were apart of something greater than myself, a movement of men who loved other men and who were unafraid to show it. Our love was supposed to be a revolutionary act. But the truth is, we didn’t love each other; we were just infatuated with the idea of belonging and going against the grain. We loved the freedom and taboo of rebelling against societal mores. The love that we thought was intricate to the spelling of our revolution was just a knife that we turned in on ourselves under the guise of fun and good times. Personally I believe that love is sacrifice and not many gay men are willing to sacrifice for their brethren nowadays. Initially this spirit of self-sacrifice was salient during the AIDS crisis in the early 80’s and 90’s when resources were scarce and people were afraid. But now, there seems to be a preoccupation with the seduction of risk, as gay men play with matches, hoping to ignite meaningful connections in their never ending self-discovery. The grand prize of intimacy is often forfeited for the immediate gratification of a casual encounter on craigslist or a geo-social hook up on Grindr. Cars have become the new bedrooms and sex is not followed with pillow talk but rather phrases such as: “Blo and Go,” “Pump and Dump” and “Skeet and Leave”. The life is starting to look a lot like a slow death simmering on low heat and it doesn’t hold the same appeal that it once did to me. It is a life in serious need of renovations. Men also used to be men and approached you with a modicum of chivalrous courage. Now they hide behind electronic masks or position themselves in close proximity to you at clubs hoping you initiate contact only to arrogantly dismiss your advances in an attempt to project their own discomfort. I have noticed that a lot of gay men seem to only want a challenge and live for the elusive. They want men who do not want them, men who resemble the emotional distance or absence of their fathers. I am too young to long for the good old days but this life makes you miss what it meant to be gay. It makes you long for the times when a guy would greet you and offer you a drink as opposed to his cock size and sexual stats. The middleman of courtesy has been eliminated and replaced with an immoral devil who chaperons your destruction daily. It just isn’t worth it anymore. And while I recognize my attractions to men, I choose to no longer associate myself with a life that lives outside of morality and goodness. The gay life is like the love of a bad boy whose attention and love you initially covet but eventually outgrow. It’s just not where I see myself anymore. - Luis Pabon, The Thought Catalog (17 Nov 14) http://thoughtcatalog.com/luis-pabon/2014/11/why-i-no-longer-want-to-be-gay/ ============ Mod added the title of the article as is.
  21. A name is a name, that's all there is to it. It doesn't define the person that you are, or confirm certain stereotypes associated with these names. But sometimes I find myself thinking that guys with a particular name are more pleasant-sounding. I guess being a logophile, certain names just stand out more to me. And I wonder if that's the case for some of us here. I'll start. I find guys with the names Jensen/Janson/Jenson, Jayden, Devine, Caleb, Adam, Shin or Blake music to my ears. Recently, I've also found the name Shane to be quite pleasant too. Generally, I have a preference for guys whose name begins with a J or S-variant. Other worthy mentions include Spencer, Daniel, Aiden, Julian and Shepherd. Personal stay aways - Albert, John, James, Jeremy, Shawn/Shaun, Bernard, Peter, Lebron, Bronson, Oliver. Common names that I dig - Jason, Paul, Sam and Sam-variants (Sammy, Sammie, Samson). The list is endless. But I'd like to hear what are some of your personal favs. Again, please know this isn't a name-shame post. In no ways are people with names under "Personal Stay Aways" horrible. I'm just going along the lines of, if you could choose your ideal bf's name, what would you want it to be. For our bisexual brethren reading this, feel free to name some female names too.
  22. I am local SG and wish to know more Malaysians friends who is in Singapore. Can talk anything under the sun. If keen, pm me with heading sg Malaysians Cheers!
  23. It's comforting to know that even the royalities face the same problems as us. What a reassurance ! artile from 2/Jan's Nytimes (New york times) http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/f...lines-frontpage Vadodara, India — AS a maharajah's son, Manvendra Singh Gohil grew up in a bubble of prestige and privilege, surrounded by hangers-on who treated him so reverentially that he was 15 before he crossed a street by himself. So the public snubs and rejection of the last nine months have been a new experience. Yet the mild-mannered Gohil couldn't be more content. At last, he says, he is living an honest life — albeit one that has touched off a scandal in the royal house of Rajpipla, one of India's former princely states. Last March, he revealed a lifelong secret to a local newspaper, which promptly splashed it on the front page. "The headline was: 'The Prince of Rajpipla Declares That He's a Homosexual,' " Gohil said with a rueful chuckle. "The newspaper sold like hotcakes." In the uproar that followed, disgusted residents in Gohil's hometown flung his photograph onto a bonfire. His parents publicly disowned their only son, printing notices in the press that he was cut off as heir because of his involvement in "activities unacceptable to society." Gohil's mother has threatened contempt proceedings against anyone who refers to him as her son. For scandal-mongers, the tale of India's gay prince is an irresistibly juicy affair full of details worthy of a tabloid tell-all: his teenage affair with a servant boy, a sexless marriage to a minor princess, a nervous breakdown. For Gohil, his very public unmasking has brought him a bully pulpit from which to speak out against a law that makes him not just a pariah of noble birth but also a common criminal. Here in the world's largest democracy, home to 1.1 billion people, sex between two people of the same gender remains a punishable offense. Decades after India threw off the yoke of British rule, the country still clings to a Victorian-era statute established by its colonial masters nearly 150 years ago, which demands up to life in prison for anyone committing "carnal intercourse against the order of nature." In practice, few prosecutions are brought to court. But reports abound of police using the law to harass and blackmail gay men and lesbians. Human rights advocates, lawyers groups and the government's AIDS coordinator are lobbying for repeal or revision of the law. In September, dozens of Indian luminaries, including Nobel Prize-winning economist Amartya Sen and author Vikram Seth, added their voices to the campaign. Activists are guardedly hopeful about the chances of a legal challenge now pending before the Delhi High Court. A hearing is scheduled for this month. But even should they succeed, changing attitudes will prove a far harder task. Despite India's high-tech wizardry and its rising affluence, this remains a highly conservative and conformist society where most young people undergo arranged marriages, the pressure to produce children is enormous and no gay role models or TV shows like "Will & Grace" exist to offer a hint of an alternative. Those who feel different learn to keep it to themselves — and to feel guilt-stricken about it. "It's not uncommon among the young people we work with to ask, 'Is there a medicine that can make me stop feeling this way?' " said Anjali Gopalan of the Naz Foundation, an AIDS organization that has taken a leading role in the fight to decriminalize homosexuality. "The law compounds all of this. It creates an environment for people to feel like this." The criminalization of homosexuality makes it difficult to set up social venues where gays can meet. Even in the nation's capital, New Delhi, a thriving metropolis of 15 million people, there are only two bars that host furtive, word-of-mouth gay nights just once a week, usually under the protective guise of a "private party" for some fictitious person. Those nights are packed. * GOHIL, 41, would seem an unlikely spokesman for bucking the system, one from which he has benefited handsomely. Although India's royal families were stripped of formal political power after the nation's independence in 1947, many retain enormous wealth and influence in their former fiefdoms, as smiling ribbon-cutters and patrons of the arts, education and charitable work. Gohil's parents, the maharajah and maharani of Rajpipla, a predominantly agricultural town of about 70,000 people in the western state of Gujarat, are the community's biggest landowners and have several palaces to their name, including a majestic, salmon-pink creation, complete with columns and balconies, that was Gohil's home when he was a toddler. (It's now a hotel owned by the family.) He lived a cocooned existence there and at the family residence in Mumbai, spending his childhood absorbing the finer points of royal protocol and etiquette, attending the finest schools and being waited on hand and foot. "It was so luxurious that even a glass of water I didn't have to go and get for myself," he said. By age 12, Gohil had already been invited to be guest of honor at a local school event. Around the same time, he began sensing that something besides his aristocratic background set him apart from his peers. "Somewhere inside me I felt I was different than others," he said in an interview at his office here in Vadodara, about 1 1/2 hours from Rajpipla. "When I came to the age where you develop sexual attraction to the opposite sex, I had the feeling that I'm not attracted to the opposite sex but the same sex." In India, talk of such intimate matters is taboo. At school, sex education for Gohil consisted of an embarrassed teacher telling her students about the sexual development of animals as a stand-in for human sexuality. Gohil's first clue to his own identity came from a classmate when he was 14. "A boy from my class, out of observation or what, one day came and asked me, 'Are you a homo?' I had not heard this word before. I said, 'What? I don't know,' " Gohil recalled. "I went home and looked it up in the dictionary, and it wasn't there." He didn't have the words to describe his impulses, but as a young teen he found a way to act on them at home with a servant boy his own age, an orphan whom Gohil's grandmother had taken under her wing. The two boys maintained a secret relationship until they were about 18, Gohil said. * AFTER his graduation from university, the pressure on Gohil to marry mounted as his parents expected their only son to carry on the Rajpipla line and assume his duties as custodian of the family's royal heritage, which stretches back 600 years. A suitable wife could manage the household, making sure that the heirlooms, the china and the sumptuous royal costumes were kept up to snuff. Gohil's father, the maharajah, and his mother, from a royal family in Rajasthan, scouted out potential mates, settling on a princess from the state of Madhya Pradesh. Gohil, then 25, agreed to the match, which quickly turned out to be a disaster. He felt no physical attraction for his wife and could not consummate their marriage. Her efforts to seduce him ended in tears. She even dragged Gohil to a doctor, but after 15 humiliating months of their being together yet not together, divorce became the only way out. As she left, his ex-wife gave Gohil one piece of advice: Never do this to another woman. But it took years for Gohil to summon the nerve to contact a well-known gay activist in Mumbai, formerly Bombay. Slowly, the young royal began tiptoeing out of the closet, deepening his involvement in the gay community and becoming an HIV counselor to other homosexual men. "My parents thought I was in yoga school, but I would be out distributing condoms," he said. Nonetheless, the increasing strain of pretending took its toll. His parents were on the hunt for a second wife, and residents in Rajpipla constantly asked Gohil whether he came bearing "good news" whenever he visited from Mumbai, unaware of the activities and friendships he was pursuing. In 2002, Gohil suffered a nervous breakdown, spending 15 days in the hospital. At the end of it, his sympathetic psychiatrist arranged for his parents, his sister and her husband to come for a family meeting during which, at Gohil's request, the doctor informed the family of his sexual orientation. "It was very, very emotional, very disturbing," he said. "They were all crying. They were still not willing to believe that this thing was true." Since then, Gohil has thrown himself into HIV/AIDS work through the Lakshya Trust, an organization he founded in 2000. It was partly to raise the profile of the group that Gohil decided to come out publicly. His straight friends were shocked to find out he was gay. His gay friends were shocked to find out he'd been married. For his parents, it was the last straw. He is no longer on speaking terms with his mother. His father, despite disinheriting him, has softened slightly, declaring in a newspaper interview that he had felt pressured by friends and relatives into taking such a drastic step and describing Gohil as "a gifted individual" and "a good son." The two men still speak occasionally, but their conversations are awkward. Gohil believes that his parents cannot legally prevent ancestral possessions from passing into his hands. Geeta Luthra, a leading civil lawyer in New Delhi, agrees. "If it's ancestral property, then in India … nobody can disinherit you," she said. "Custom is a part of the law in India, and the custom among princely families is the principle of primogeniture. So you can't deprive him" of his inheritance. Despite the controversy surrounding his coming-out, Gohil has continued to receive invitations to attend functions in his royal capacity. During the recent interview, Gohil happily showed off a photo of himself in traditional regalia: an elegant ivory suit on his slender frame, a large red turban complete with ostrich feather on his head, a double strand of pearls around his neck and a broad smile on his face, though whether it was out of the general Indian love of pageantry or a personal sense of fabulousness is hard to tell. * AN introvert by nature, Gohil enjoys nothing more than quiet time on his farm on the outskirts of Rajpipla, where he cultivates a passion for organic farming — his primary source of income — and practices the harmonium. He says he has "no regrets at all" over his decisions or the very public consequences that followed. Rather, he has finally been able to put on a little weight, offers for dates have started coming in and the Lakshya Trust just won an award from the United Nations. Representatives of the media keep calling, and a cheerful, newly liberated Gohil appears to enjoy telling his story. To those in Rajpipla who might still harbor reservations about their patron-in-waiting, he waves an indifferent hand. "They cannot get a prince on hire. I am the prince, and whether I am gay or not gay is hardly the issue," Gohil said. "I'm the only son — there are no cousins or brothers they can go to. They have to come back to me." * -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- henry.chu@latimes.com
  24. I've been reading BW for a while now and I feel this is kinda weird, but I thought I should open up my feelings (at least online) that I feel that I fancy a guy who is 9 years younger than me. We are pretty close (or at least i think!) we text each other, mostly about sports-related stuff, tech-stuff and also about mutual friends (aka gossiping). I really enjoy his company and texting almost every day. I know deep down it's one-sided unrequited love, but I still hope one day we can be closer than good friends/buddies (I'm not sure if this is possible). I've never really felt like this towards another guy, although I know I will not end up getting married with a woman. There were a few occasions where we traveled overseas (in a group) and I snuggled to sleep on the same bed as him (No other intentions) just to see him fall asleep with his cute boyish face under the dim light. He thinks that is "annoying" but still let me on his bed anyways. I'll also admire his nice smooth skin from afar, each time wanting to feel it with my own hands. I will tell myself inside that this boy deserves a good girl instead of a perverted man like me who likes guys. We know each other some time now, I really like him so much but I feel like each time I think of us ever being together, I die a little inside. He may or may not know I have "special" feelings for him (more than a friend) Sometimes I feel who we really love should not be based on whether he/she is a guy/girl😔Sorry for the long post, but I feel that it's a new year and I need to get this off my chest, welcome all comments! Happy 2020 everyone !
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