clapclapclap Posted March 3 Report Share Posted March 3 (edited) Im turning 30 this year and regrettably still in a phase of confusion and self discovery… I know I definitely like guys, but part of me is still wondering if I might have a chance at girls ie maybe Im actually bi? I kinda know how to find guys to test it out, but Idk where/how to find girls for the same. Thats two extremes here Im thinking - on one end trying out a relationship with a girl, and on the other going to Geylang lol?? Im not sure if they are the most ideal. Open to some serious suggestions. Thanks and cheers! Edited March 3 by clapclapclap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
And then Posted March 3 Report Share Posted March 3 If you don't know, just give it a try. Maybe consider Geylang first, cos then you won't end up hurting another person. clapclapclap 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MunchteenCat Posted March 3 Report Share Posted March 3 Or you could try getting a massage from a female masseur. clapclapclap 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Really? Posted March 3 Report Share Posted March 3 I didn't know that loving either a boy or a girl can be trained. I already knew I love boys when I was 6 and since then there was no turning back or change of mind nor confusion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sum1outhere_03 Posted March 3 Report Share Posted March 3 2 hours ago, clapclapclap said: Im turning 30 this year and regrettably still in a phase of confusion and self discovery… I know I definitely like guys, but part of me is still wondering if I might have a chance at girls ie maybe Im actually bi? I kinda know how to find guys to test it out, but Idk where/how to find girls for the same. Thats two extremes here Im thinking - on one end trying out a relationship with a girl, and on the other going to Geylang lol?? Im not sure if they are the most ideal. Open to some serious suggestions. Thanks and cheers! Perhaps you can try to imagine which gender will you be more comfortable with if the event that you get married? Which gender will you be more comfortable in bed, and likewise having a relationship with? Only your heart knows the answer clapclapclap 1 Quote Will you be my valentine's? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
singalion Posted March 3 Report Share Posted March 3 2 hours ago, clapclapclap said: Im turning 30 this year and regrettably still in a phase of confusion and self discovery… I know I definitely like guys, but part of me is still wondering if I might have a chance at girls ie maybe Im actually bi? I kinda know how to find guys to test it out, but Idk where/how to find girls for the same. Thats two extremes here Im thinking - on one end trying out a relationship with a girl, and on the other going to Geylang lol?? Im not sure if they are the most ideal. Open to some serious suggestions. Thanks and cheers! Sorry upfront if I m blunt. I think you seriously confused something. BW is a website blog catering to gays. We can help you to tell how to find guys or give you support on homosexual topics, but I think you're at the totally wrong place to ask where you can find girls or if you should try pros-titutes. You may search at straight forums or ask some srraight guys on this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funky beaver Posted March 3 Report Share Posted March 3 3 hours ago, MunchteenCat said: Or you could try getting a massage from a female masseur. Female masseur is a good idea. The female masseur I once went tried to seduce me to bring her back to my hotel room after the massage. But I failed to get a hard on. She immediately knew I was 100% gay. It was at Pattaya, Thailand. clapclapclap and sum1outhere_03 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbm Posted March 3 Report Share Posted March 3 Sex (physical) and love (romantic/emotional) are two different things. A person can be physically attracted to both genders but be romantically/emotionally attracted to one gender only. Or physically attracted to one gender while romantically/emotionally attracted to another. If you have never felt romantic/emotional feelings for a girl at this point, better not go into a relationship with someone. You might break her heart. As for sex part, go watch some straight, gay and lesbian porn. Take note of your reaction. Which type turns you on? Does one type turn you on more than the other? When you are out in the streets and come across an attractive girl, do you get turned on? Have you ever had crush(es) on female celebrities? clapclapclap 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mijsdlog Posted March 3 Report Share Posted March 3 Sure, go ahead and explore, hopefully have some fun in the process but... let's say you have sex with a willing female sex partner or sex worker and you like it, and then what? Where are you planning to go with it? Does it mean you say goodbye to that confusion and the path clears for you to commit to a heterosexual marriage? In any case, you are not alone with that sort of confusion. Many are still trying to figure it out way past 30 years of age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yhtang Posted March 3 Report Share Posted March 3 5 hours ago, clapclapclap said: Im turning 30 this year and regrettably still in a phase of confusion and self discovery… I know I definitely like guys, but part of me is still wondering if I might have a chance at girls ie maybe Im actually bi? I kinda know how to find guys to test it out, but Idk where/how to find girls for the same. Thats two extremes here Im thinking - on one end trying out a relationship with a girl, and on the other going to Geylang lol?? Im not sure if they are the most ideal. Open to some serious suggestions. Thanks and cheers! I am not sure you can find meaningful relationships with women in Geyland. I am sure certain ladies there can convince you that you are in a relationship with them, but so long you continue paying them. As for whether you are more inclined towards men or women, perhaps an indication might be what you think of when you masturbate. Is it the images of action with men, or action with women that turns you on? Hulkhunk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GachiMuchi Posted March 3 Report Share Posted March 3 6 hours ago, clapclapclap said: Im turning 30 this year and regrettably still in a phase of confusion and self discovery… I know I definitely like guys, but part of me is still wondering if I might have a chance at girls ie maybe Im actually bi? I kinda know how to find guys to test it out, but Idk where/how to find girls for the same. Thats two extremes here Im thinking - on one end trying out a relationship with a girl, and on the other going to Geylang lol?? Im not sure if they are the most ideal. Open to some serious suggestions. Thanks and cheers! From what I read, I think you meant you want to find a girl to have sex. And you have no idea how to find one for sex, so you might resort to go Geylang to look for one to try. Let's solve the equation one at a time. Have you had sex with men before? Regardless fucking or bring fucked? Maybe you can go try it out first as you had mentioned, you "kinda know how to find guys to test it out". Start with guy, since it's easy for you and leave the harder equation for later. As for finding girls. If you only want sex and not wanting a relationship, then going to find a professional would be better. If you are good looking and have a way with words and have money to spend, you can go to popular clubs e.g. Zouk to meet girls. If you are lucky, you might land a girl and might get your chance. But from what I see, you might have a hard time with the ladies because If you are able to get your ways with girls, you would have had tried it in your 20s. So I presume that you are those who are always threading carefully and not those who are out there and wild. But instead of letting us guess, you might want to tell us, what are your experience with guys or girls. Hulkhunk and yhtang 1 1 Quote http://gachimuchi2008.blogspot.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
singalion Posted March 3 Report Share Posted March 3 4 hours ago, cbm said: Sex (physical) and love (romantic/emotional) are two different things. A person can be physically attracted to both genders but be romantically/emotionally attracted to one gender only. Or physically attracted to one gender while romantically/emotionally attracted to another. If you have never felt romantic/emotional feelings for a girl at this point, better not go into a relationship with someone. You might break her heart. As for sex part, go watch some straight, gay and lesbian porn. Take note of your reaction. Which type turns you on? Does one type turn you on more than the other? When you are out in the streets and come across an attractive girl, do you get turned on? Have you ever had crush(es) on female celebrities? It is still better if he gets personal experience with girls. Straight porn can be misleading if he reacts to the dicks or fucking part. But I still think he asks the wrong guys here to tell him how to find a girl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IkuTube Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 20 hours ago, clapclapclap said: Im turning 30 this year and regrettably still in a phase of confusion and self discovery… I know I definitely like guys, but part of me is still wondering if I might have a chance at girls ie maybe Im actually bi? I kinda know how to find guys to test it out, but Idk where/how to find girls for the same. Thats two extremes here Im thinking - on one end trying out a relationship with a girl, and on the other going to Geylang lol?? Im not sure if they are the most ideal. Open to some serious suggestions. Thanks and cheers! Confusion is a state between choices. You have too many 'what-if' in your mind. Confusion happens because the mind knows what is but the heart is filled with mixed feelings on acceptance. It is a complex state unless you are able to settle on what (truly) can make you happy. You need to be at peace with the choice. This choice is yours and yours alone. This choice should not, and must not, be about trying to please everyone around you. You said 'I know I definitely like guys'. Questions .. have you fully accepted this feeling? Have you lived and can you bear with it? Or are you afraid of what comes next? What are your fears? You said 'maybe Im actually bi'. Questions .. why maybe? With or without any sexual experience with the opposite sex is not a 'maybe' situation. A feeling is a feeling. You don't create a feeling with a 'maybe'. A feeling is an internalized emotion. When you can be definite about your feeling for guys, why maybe for 'at girls'? Isn't it obvious that you are not (so much) into them? Perhaps, you are at a state to proof on what you want to be? Probably you are still grappling with your Self acceptance? Perhaps, it is a psychological question for a more social acceptance rather than a sexual identity crisis? You need to find your identity without using others, be it with a guy or a girl. Should an handsome guy and a beautiful sexy girl are standing right in front of you, who will you reach out to first? Play this scenario again and again, in your mind. Check your thought. Check your reaction. Check your sexual urges. What is your real objective on 'one end trying out a relationship with a girl, and on the other going to Geylang?'. Be honest with yourself on what you really want to achieve? There is nothing to be ashamed to be in confusion, be it at 30, 40 or 50. Quote Click Here To Visit My Blog @ "The Blessed Life" *Let me live my life to be an instrument of 'Love', in how I speak and in how I see others* - May there be Love and Peace beyond all understanding - Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueduck Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 I can decide if I'm G or Bi when during my Univ, I try to wank only to Female-female porn for a month, never try to watch G or Str8 porn during that time. if you can't get boner or same feeling of orgasm, there is no chance you are into girl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Good Luck! Posted March 7 Report Share Posted March 7 On 3/3/2024 at 5:10 PM, clapclapclap said: Im turning 30 this year and regrettably still in a phase of confusion and self discovery… I know I definitely like guys, but part of me is still wondering if I might have a chance at girls Do whatever pleases you. I mean, what business of yours has to do with the 100% GAY people here? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
auscent Posted March 12 Report Share Posted March 12 Ahh.. I wondered too, once. I had very close female friends. So close I wondered abt my sexuality. But one strange thing stood out. No matter how warm the feeling was, it was with a male I truly want to connect with. Mentally and spiritually, and all ways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 16 Report Share Posted March 16 On 3/12/2024 at 9:35 AM, auscent said: Ahh.. I wondered too, once. I had very close female friends. So close I wondered abt my sexuality. But one strange thing stood out. No matter how warm the feeling was, it was with a male I truly want to connect with. Mentally and spiritually, and all ways. Close with a female friends doesn't mean is str8 if you do not have the sex feeling with a female. I think a person sexuality is determine by sex thoughts and feelings. Like myself, i like a guy chest than his dick, does it mean i am not gay? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swimfun Posted March 16 Report Share Posted March 16 On 3/3/2024 at 5:10 PM, clapclapclap said: Im turning 30 this year and regrettably still in a phase of confusion and self discovery… I know I definitely like guys, but part of me is still wondering if I might have a chance at girls ie maybe Im actually bi? I kinda know how to find guys to test it out, but Idk where/how to find girls for the same. Thats two extremes here Im thinking - on one end trying out a relationship with a girl, and on the other going to Geylang lol?? Im not sure if they are the most ideal. Open to some serious suggestions. Thanks and cheers! It's completely normal to feel uncertain, especially when it comes to understanding your own identity and preferences. Exploring your feelings and attractions is crucial for self-discovery, a journey that often continues throughout life. It's worth noting that many people discover new aspects of themselves even after decades of marriage. Some only realize their preferences later in life, perhaps favoring hotdogs over oysters in their golden years with grandchildren. Labels like straight, bi, or gay are just that – labels. What truly matters is understanding and accepting oneself, regardless of societal categorizations. Keep exploring, stay true to yourself, and remember that your journey of self-discovery is unique and valid. However, since most people here identify as bi or gay, their perspectives may be biased towards those orientations. Therefore, seeking your ideal answer here might be akin to searching for a needle in an ocean. Steve5380 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve5380 Posted March 16 Report Share Posted March 16 On 3/3/2024 at 3:10 AM, clapclapclap said: Im turning 30 this year and regrettably still in a phase of confusion and self discovery… I know I definitely like guys, but part of me is still wondering if I might have a chance at girls ie maybe Im actually bi? I kinda know how to find guys to test it out, but Idk where/how to find girls for the same. Thats two extremes here Im thinking - on one end trying out a relationship with a girl, and on the other going to Geylang lol?? Im not sure if they are the most ideal. Open to some serious suggestions. Thanks and cheers! Your situation does not have such simple solutions as some may suggest. Sex is not everything, and bisexuality can exist, regardless of this name, for other reasons that just plain mechanical sex. We can find in women attractions that are not purely sexual, and if we have some sexual flexibility, like not being afraid of pussies, we can be attracted to girls too. I was in your shoes when young, and I tried with a prostitute and this did not work out. It is better if you can make yourself more attractive to girls, something we as gays don't think about. Like the way you dress, present yourself as more masculine. Or... the best... if you take on a job that is masculine and has some prestige. Maybe if you have some connection with the military and your dress reveals it? A girl may be attracted to you and show some charms that a prostitute would never have. And this can give you the opportunity to test your attraction to them... once they are attracted to you. It happened to me that I was invisible to girls until I took a job as field engineer for an international company, working in oil fields and directing crews of workers. This gave me some "prestige" in the remote places I worked, and some women showed interest. But it finally worked when I got here to Houston as a project engineer and a woman I found attractive seduced me. I married her when I was 36, and had a successful marriage for over a decade. So don't feel that 30 years is too old... for anything! We can and DO have confusions at any age. If we keep a positive attitude, the confusion will get resolved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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