AITA: falling out with NSmate and he believes its my fault?

[jcboy18]

need some advice!!!!

 

so i (18 turning 19), just got posted out to station with 6 other new PTEs like myself and we are doing infocomm operator stuff. one of them (lets call him S), ive had a rocky relationship w him even during our 5 day vocational trainibg course because personally to me i felt abit uncomfortable with him because he was acting abit too friendly with me even though we only knew each other for a few hours and afterwards 2-3days, so i still had my guards up because i dont easily open up to others. and because it was only a 5 day course, we had tests on the 3rd day onwards, and being the nerd with performance anxiety, i was very locked in because i didnt want to JUST PASS the course (i ended up being overall best trainee but thts besides the point)

 

and when im studying or revising, i dont like to be disturbed/talked to, well this S likes to talk to me and chat w me(ik he has good and pure intentions but still).... so i wld give him short and cold replies to his small talk and tht made it seem like i didnt like him, and he wld repeatedly ask if im angry at him, and i wld repeatedly answer that i wasnt. but him repeatedly asking me was also starting to get on my nerves because how many times do i hv to make my point tht im not angry w you?

 

at this point it was alrdy the end of the course, and all we had to do is wait for our results and also to come back to camp to receive our posting results the following tuesday(which js passed). and when i reflected abt how i acted towards ppl during the past week, i felt bad, and decided to text and talk it out w S to explain myself and why it seemed like i was angry, explaining tht a few of my boundaries were crossed and i was getting frustrated with how much he kept repeatibg the same questions. he said he understood where im cmg from and wont repeat anyth

 

lets js say within a few hours of being posted to the same place he alrdy repeated some stuff, and it irked me. and how he kept joking around and playing when it was time for us to properly learn stuff from our snrs, and when we were doing impt admin stuff(like getting our access cards from the provosts). last straw was when he was openly making fun and belittling a senior from my current confirmed department(S is in a different department handling different infocomm stuff) because my senior is evidently very femme and also gay (he doesnt hide it and is very comfortable with how he is around others in the department). thankfully my senior took leave today and wasnt around to hear S and the other 2 PTEs from the other department make snark comments. and S is quirw the blabber mouth. like during our vocational training course he wld constantly retell and share with others tht i was the one who danced on stage during the last week of BRT and also making fun of my honest mistake when trying to teach others about an appliance (it was my first time seeing the appliance in person).

 

so today i decided to remind him to repay me coz i paid for everyones new nametags and they all agreed to pay me back. and he told me hes broke which doesnt sit right w me because hes always doing stocks and trading?? so i asked to see if hes being fr and honestly this my fault because i cldve phrased it differently but the way hes trying to end it with me and cut ties w me makes it seem like im the one largely at fault because of the "way i talk to him and treat him"??? he said tht it was obvious that i dont want to talk to him??? maybe its because you choose the worst timings possible to strike a convo w me?? and w the worst topics ever??? and your constant comments abt me being so "kilat" and so "pro"?????? im new to everyth also bro??? maybe if you actl paid attention to how our snrs taught us you cld do the same idk

 

so i just wnna get the views and advice from others, do you think im the A-hole in this situation?

[cbm]

You will meet alot of different characters during NS. People from outside your regular social circles. Some will like you. Some will hate you. Some will like you then hate you. Some will hate you then like you. 

 

You'll discover that you cannot please everybody. Even if you aren't the asshole, that won't stop some people from having that impression of you. Let them be. They'll fade away from your life eventually.

[jcboy18]

23 minutes ago, cbm said:

You will meet alot of different characters during NS. People from outside your regular social circles. Some will like you. Some will hate you. Some will like you then hate you. Some will hate you then like you. 

 

You'll discover that you cannot please everybody. Even if you aren't the asshole, that won't stop some people from having that impression of you. Let them be. They'll fade away from your life eventually.

thank you, i eventually realised this as well... its alot of new characters and personalities and thts why im slowly learning to let go of some people who are just here for a fleeting moment in my life and arent here to stay

[cbm]

One peculiar thing about NS specifically that you might encounter is about group dynamic / herd mentality / peer pressure. 

 

You may find that when in a group, guys will do things, sometimes bad things, that they would never do if they are on their own (independent). Just be mindful that you don't follow this herd.

[jcboy18]

4 hours ago, cbm said:

One peculiar thing about NS specifically that you might encounter is about group dynamic / herd mentality / peer pressure. 

 

You may find that when in a group, guys will do things, sometimes bad things, that they would never do if they are on their own (independent). Just be mindful that you don't follow this herd.

yeaaaa thankfully so far i hvnt encountered a very bad herd yet

[MasterFitMalaySG4U]

U r not to blame and u should ask for payback. U r being to kind actually. For me I will fucking kanina upfront for to everybody pay up.  Don't give face! I don't give a mf who u r haha u r a guy not a women or trans! Grow up mf! Haha 

 

Move forward but be firm when comes to pay up or etc. Be yaself! Yah "some" NS mate are asshole! Worse then women...maybe punish them wear bra n skirt lace panties tore them n fuck them raw till they beg to stop! Haha