Advice for someone who is curious

[James Justin]

Firstly, anyone know what’s the difference between straight curious and bi-curious? It feels like those terms are used interchangeably 😂 anyway back to the point. 
 

I guess any tops,bottoms or sides can chime in. For someone who is straight and curious about his sexuality and keen to experiment (just physical aspect and not emotional aspect like dating someone or falling in love and what not), what should he do? Hoping to get some thoughts and opinions of people who went through this similar struggle before. 
 

Would it be better to experiment with someone of similar age and profile or? Would a similar straight but curious guy be better for him to experiment with? Or is it better to experiment with an experienced side or btm? Is it normal and better to get to know the other person too first as friends or at least slightly familiar acquaintance or it makes no difference from a random person you meet for the first time through BW? 
 

How did you also overcome the, I guess slight paranoia (at least for me), of people finding out? Discretion is important but is there too much discretion and paranoia? 😂

 

Anyway, there’s a lot to ramble on but I’ll just leave it as it is for now, you know with the average attention span shortening and all! Please keep it civil and kind and my PMs / inbox is open! 

Edited May 16, 2025 by James Justin
Typo with the word experiment. I wrote experience instead of experiment.

[GachiMuchi]

First, how old are you?

Then ask yourself, does woman or man turns you on? When you watch porn, who are you more interested in?

You can lie to others, for fear of rejections but you cannot lie to yourself of who you really are. 

 

So, to answer your questions. 

1. No. Depending on your age, the person who might be your first time should be someone experience, maybe older not no necessary have to be the same age. It doesn't matter as long as he is able to guide you and help ease you into your first time. 

2. Unless you know you are born bottom or top or side, otherwise, you will only know when you had tried all possibilities. Don't be too quick to say no. 

3. It would be good practice to speak to the person and know the person. Don't have to be shy to tell people that you had never tried sex. It's nothing to be ashame of. the reason for speaking and getting to know the person is so that you can find out what you are getting yourself into. 

4. Please also learn how to protect yourself. Please practice safe sex and tell your partner what you can or cannot do. If they don't respect your wishes, then they cannot be trusted, especially when you are naked and he insist or tried to fuck you raw. Tell him NO, if it is against your wishes. 

5. Learn how to wear a condom if you are going to fuck. Some guys will turn soft when putting on condom. Let the bottom put on the condom if you not too sure how to do it.

6. Anyway, learn to explore and tried to relax and enjoy the process. Sex can be very enjoyable but if the person knows how to make love to you, you will enjoy even more.

 

If you realised that you do not like sex with men, then go try sex with women. Only then you will be able to tell, which you prefer. That said, I still think you are more likely gay than str8 since you can be in BW.

 

Anyway, enjoy exploring your sexuality! It's going to be a very stimulating journey!

[cbm]

Simply put, men are horny. I have played with guys who identify as straight, bi, gay and everything in between. These labels aren't meaningful for me when it comes to having fun. It's better if they tell what sexual activity they are into or not into. 

 

Examples:

Identify as gay, doesn't like anal

Identify as straight, enjoys getting blowjobs from men

Identify as straight curious, enjoys receiving anal play

 

For someone who is curious, and prefer abit more control on how the experience will be, he should define what he is curious about. What activities he's open to trying and what activities he is not keen on. Then he can go on the hunt to find someone who matches with his interests.

 

You may have certain preferences about physical attributes, compatibility, attitude. Then there are practical considerations such as availability and whether he can host or not.

 

You can sort these out in your chats with potential play partners.

 

Most chats will fizzle out and you have to keep on grinding.

 

Who will find out? How will they find out? The only way they find out is because they are also perusing the apps, isn't it?

 

 

Edited May 16, 2025 by cbm

[MasterFitMalaySG4U]

Anything you do sexually with a guy  is gay. Even bi or str8 curious haha is also gay. Most will disagree etc haha but it is what it is. Haha 

 

If I were u just stay str8 get a gf who accept understand you for who u r make babies have your GENERATION. Singapore birth rate is almost 0. Haha 

 

There is more then a million gay bi in Singapore and increase in trans. 

 

Do what best for you! Think of your future and money. Do some business etc....Not getting diseases etc...haha 

 

Thank me later! I rather make YOU curious think hard long...before going to the cold 🥶 cruel bias racism gay bi world! There is no turning back! 

 

Remember the world 🌎 is dying and SATANs is conquering haha most Angels 😇 or innocent are being tricked etc.... karma is real. What goes around comes around from "YOUR HEAD TO YOUR TOES!" Gonna eat your aura energy and u will look older faster then your age! Haha 

[kidster]

To find out if you are gay or bi, you need to conduct an experiment on yourself. 

 

Watch gay porn and see if get an erection. For the results to be conclusive, repeat the experiment 3 times.

 

NOTE: Do not watch straight porn as you don't know where your eyes are focusing on. 

 

That's what I did for myself. Hope it helps. 

[lightsmith32]

If u are here means u are gay ... Whether u want a cock in you or you want to put yours in someone .. you are gay ... Find a mature man u are comfortable with and attracted to and just let things flow ...

 

I was straight as an arrow till I met a feminine guy who charmed me and turned me. Haven looked back since. 

Edited May 18, 2025 by lightsmith32

[bro man fun]

On 5/19/2025 at 12:43 AM, lightsmith32 said:

If u are here means u are gay ... Whether u want a cock in you or you want to put yours in someone .. you are gay ... Find a mature man u are comfortable with and attracted to and just let things flow ...

 

I was straight as an arrow till I met a feminine guy who charmed me and turned me. Haven looked back since. 

 

 

str8 as an arrow then turned gay?

 

if str8, what more like an arrow, will never bend

 

if put force to bend, will definitely break, therefore will never be gay

 

but for those who think they're str8 in the first place and later eventually "bend", they probably don't know their own sexuality frm the start

[lightsmith32]

On 10/6/2025 at 2:54 AM, bro man fun said:

 

 

str8 as an arrow then turned gay?

 

if str8, what more like an arrow, will never bend

 

if put force to bend, will definitely break, therefore will never be gay

 

but for those who think they're str8 in the first place and later eventually "bend", they probably don't know their own sexuality frm the start

How does this bother you or affect you? Maybe u don't know my sexuality at the start and I know now and loving it ..so? 

[Damienzo]

On 5/18/2025 at 11:17 AM, kidster said:

To find out if you are gay or bi, you need to conduct an experiment on yourself. 

 

Watch gay porn and see if get an erection. For the results to be conclusive, repeat the experiment 3 times.

 

NOTE: Do not watch straight porn as you don't know where your eyes are focusing on. 

 

That's what I did for myself. Hope it helps. 

This is a very good advice. In my earlier years, I kept thinking I’m straight. Then I watch both straight porn and gay porn and I got erection after watching gay porn. At that stage I still didn’t accept it and I still try to date girls and hope I can develop feelings for them but I never did. I find myself attracted to guys and eventually I only watch gay porn and no longer straight porn at all. After many years, I finally accepted that I’m gay. Hahahaha 

 

After my own experience, i don’t really believe in the label “straight curious”. If you have interest in getting a BJ from a guy or wanna explore side fun with a guy, then you are either gay or bisexual. Straight curious to me is just a term used by a guy in denial of his own sexuality. I thought I was straight curious too years ago and, nope, I’m gay and I came to terms with it finally 

Edited October 11, 2025 by Damienzo

[singalion]

On 5/16/2025 at 11:37 PM, James Justin said:

Firstly, anyone know what’s the difference between straight curious and bi-curious? It feels like those terms are used interchangeably 😂 anyway back to the point. 

Would it be better to experiment with someone of similar age and profile or? Would a similar straight but curious guy be better for him to experiment with? Or is it better to experiment with an experienced side or btm? Is it normal and better to get to know the other person too first as friends or at least slightly familiar acquaintance or it makes no difference from a random person you meet for the first time through BW? 

 

Age: you must know if an older guy or "daddy" arouses you sexually. 

 

Oh experience, just take the chances and go. It is doing by learning I assume. Sure it might help if the other is more experienced to show you the way. 

 

For a first time or first times (plural) I would always recommend some more romantic setting than just that mechanical sex ONS. 

Can start with petting with a regular buddy and then go into more play variations. 

 

Boy, there is never any real golden rule for anything. 

 

But I would recommend to tell your first sex partners that you aren't that experienced, with good luck they would be more understanding and gentle. 

 

[singalion]

On 5/16/2025 at 11:37 PM, James Justin said:

Firstly, anyone know what’s the difference between straight curious and bi-curious? It feels like those terms are used interchangeably 😂 anyway back to the point. 
 

I guess any tops,bottoms or sides can chime in. For someone who is straight and curious about his sexuality and keen to experiment (just physical aspect and not emotional aspect like dating someone or falling in love and what not), what should he do? Hoping to get some thoughts and opinions of people who went through this similar struggle before. 
 

 

These terms straight curious or bi curious seems some new words to paint the phase of exploring in better terms and to come clear with your sexuality. 

 

My rule for this is always, do you get hard on gay porn or gay sex or do you get hard mostly on girls and tits? 

 

You should know yourself. 

 

I personally don't think there is really this "straight curious", either you go for dicks and you are homosexual or you don't. 

If you prefer both ways, then you are bisexual. 

 

Bi curious is not required, because if you are bisexual you play with both sexes. Simple as that. 

 

Most of the guys who told me they are straight curious actually just had the difficulty to accept that guys turn them on sexually. I would always conclude they are just gay but have an issue to admit it. 

 

 

[singalion]

On 5/16/2025 at 11:37 PM, James Justin said:

How did you also overcome the, I guess slight paranoia (at least for me), of people finding out? Discretion is important but is there too much discretion and paranoia?

 

Paranoia for what? 

 

Nobody tells you to be totally open with everyone. 

 

Your parents or siblings might find out or assume , since you never bring a girl back home or go on a holiday trip with a girl with no other friends around. 

 

At the work place here in Singapore I would always recommend you stay in the closet. Work colleagues can turn nasty on times or start bullying. 

 

For other situations: on later times you might disclose your sexuality to your best friends. But that is something to make a judgment how open they are or how accepting. 

 

And don't be surprised, in your lifetime you might bump on guys at cruising places, hotel saunas or gay saunas, you never imagined these guys would be gay. 

And so what what? You seriously think they would go around and tell anyone that and where they met you? No, because people would ask.  What did he himself do there? 

 

 

Edited October 12, 2025 by singalion
typo

[Why?]

I am unable to identify with the subject matter mentioned above. 

When I was a teenager, I never questioned or worried about my sexual orientation as a gay person.    In actuality, even at this young age, my CURIOSITY often veer into a more somber one: who will take care of me when I'm elderly, without a wife or kids, and knowing that I'll be living alone?    I'm not sure if I was the only 16-year-old who pondered the future during many still nights.  I might have known the answer as a schoolboy and didn't want to dwell upon it. I was sort of kicking the can down the road, hoping that one day I would find someone who could relate to the topic instead of having a sexual desire that wasn't sure.  

[Damienzo]

On 10/12/2025 at 3:59 PM, singalion said:

 

 

Most of the guys who told me they are straight curious actually just had the difficulty to accept that guys turn them on sexually. I would always conclude they are just gay but have an issue to admit it. 

 

 

I can totally relate to this. I thought I was straight curious but no, I did have an issue to admit I’m gay and now I came to terms with it 

[doncoin]

In Singapore, there’s still a lot of shame around being gay. Many of us grew up with that message, spoken or unspoken, that being different is something to hide. It comes from all directions: religion, family, school, society. You’re told to fit the mold, and if you don’t, there's something wrong with you. So you hide what's "wrong" with you. Some guys rationalise to themselves that they are bi because there is still this hetero part that makes it more palatable to them. Others just struggle alone and deny. 

 

But here’s what I’ve learned: to move past that shame, you have to reclaim the story. You have to control the narrative of your own life. It is ok to make mistakes along the way, but you have to figure it out and decide. 

 

Parents often struggle to accept a gay son not because they don’t love him, but because they’ve never had a precedent. Their whole lives, they’ve only seen one version of what a “normal” family looks like, you know the whole pator, then apply for BTO, have a child, they take of grandchildren narrative. For them, it’s not just about you, it’s about how to explain it to relatives, to friends, to themselves something that is out of the norm for the majority. 

 

That’s why visibility matters. When you live openly and honestly, you give them, and others, a new reference point. You show that being gay isn’t something broken or shameful. It’s just one of the many ways to live a full, dignified, meaningful life.

 

The world doesn’t change overnight. But the more we own our stories, the harder it becomes for shame to define them. So go figure it out. 

[lok_koi]

I feel that its too simplistic to label someone as gay or not, even not meaningful at times. 

 

There are too many permutations and combinations when it comes to emotional and physical attraction. Its also not binary, or mutually exclusive. 

 

I check out women on the streets but not men. I might fall into the temptation of having a one night stand with a female friend but never with a male friend. I won't even think about it or get turned on by male friends. 

 

But do I enjoy getting a blow job from men, hell yeah. Do I sometimes like to give a blow job? Yes.  Do I enjoy being a bottom, yes. Do I enjoy being a top? No. But do I love fucking a woman, hell yeah! Do I enjoy kissing and cuddling a man, no. But do I enjoy being the centre of a group play, hell yeah. 

 

So do what you enjoy, explore what turns you on or not. Know your boundaries, be safe and responsible. We all have kinks and desires that are hard and meaningless to categorise. As long as you find willing parties that's good enough.  

Edited October 14, 2025 by lok_koi

[Damienzo]

18 hours ago, doncoin said:

In Singapore, there’s still a lot of shame around being gay. Many of us grew up with that message, spoken or unspoken, that being different is something to hide. It comes from all directions: religion, family, school, society. You’re told to fit the mold, and if you don’t, there's something wrong with you. So you hide what's "wrong" with you. Some guys rationalise to themselves that they are bi because there is still this hetero part that makes it more palatable to them. Others just struggle alone and deny. 

 

But here’s what I’ve learned: to move past that shame, you have to reclaim the story. You have to control the narrative of your own life. It is ok to make mistakes along the way, but you have to figure it out and decide. 

 

Parents often struggle to accept a gay son not because they don’t love him, but because they’ve never had a precedent. Their whole lives, they’ve only seen one version of what a “normal” family looks like, you know the whole pator, then apply for BTO, have a child, they take of grandchildren narrative. For them, it’s not just about you, it’s about how to explain it to relatives, to friends, to themselves something that is out of the norm for the majority. 

 

That’s why visibility matters. When you live openly and honestly, you give them, and others, a new reference point. You show that being gay isn’t something broken or shameful. It’s just one of the many ways to live a full, dignified, meaningful life.

 

The world doesn’t change overnight. But the more we own our stories, the harder it becomes for shame to define them. So go figure it out. 

You are right, that’s why I have not come out to my family till today. But I plan to do it sometime soon

[Veloster]

I am lucky when I came out to my str brother and mom... that I am bi ...both immediately hugged me and kissed me ...and to my close friends they too just hugged and said it's cool! So I am blessed and it was very easy for me..maybe becos mom including my late dad who was a pilot always brought us up very differently...born in Busan my brother born in Singapore and dad was Indonesian Chinese mom Korean as ever but unlike others her age she always told my late dad she does not want us to grow with traditions...her words were always fuck traditions .

Ppl need to grow up and taste the 🌈 😆