how to act less gay

[hai]

hello fellow BW members! just as a preface, im not insecure about my self being “not straight”, but rather how i am perceived by others. most people who meet me say “oh i knew you were gay from the start”. does anyone have tips to change this? 

 

TLDR: how to be straight acting? in a social sense

[Why?]

 

50 minutes ago, hai said:

 most people who meet me say “oh i knew you were gay from the start”. does anyone have tips to change this? 

TLDR: how to be straight acting? in a social sense

 

[cbm]

If that's your default mode, I'm not sure if you can change/adjust/put on a false front and present yourself as straight acting. If you can, then you should consider a career as an actor. 

 

One actor who I can think of that pulled this off so well is Neil Patrick Harris as Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother. The character Barney Stinson is so damn straight, such a womaniser in the show, that I was shocked to find out that Neil Patrick Harris is actually married to a man in real life. I could not believe it.

 

One other point I would like to highlight is that there is a wide variation of what it means to be straight acting. I have come across some guys who state that they are straight acting. But to me, they are so out and obvious and their appearance is not straight acting at all.

 

Aspects that determine if you appear straight acting or not are:

Your mannerisms

Your clothing choices

Your accessories

How you carry yourself 

[doncoin]

You can only be you. If by default you are a flaming queen, embrace it instead of stifling that fire within. What and how others think of you is something you have no control over. You may influence their opinions/thoughts, but that is as far as it goes. 

 

Keep in mind that the people you meet, do not pay your salary, nor provide shelter over head, or a warm meal. So truth be told, their opinions of you is irrelevant. Why stress over what someone whom you barely know, thinks? 

 

Just focus on being the best version of you. Admittedly, there is no way to act less gay. You suck cock. That is gay, whether you admit it or not. So maybe to act less gay, suck less cock. 

[MasterFitMalaySG4U]

Just be yaself....try to be dominant gym fitness can help depends on your character n personality it does make a difference brah! U never try u never know haha 

[Magicerife]

“Gay” itself simply means being attracted to people of the same gender. It’s a sexual orientation, not a personality type or set of mannerisms. Saying someone is “acting gay” or “acting less gay,” refers to stereotypes that have been culturally attached to gay men in particular.

 

Honestly, asking what it means to “act less gay” is a pretty silly question, because being gay isn’t an act. The idea that there’s a “gay way” to talk, walk, or behave is nothing more than lazy stereotyping. These stereotypes are not universal or inherent. Plenty of straight people fit those so-called “gay” traits, and plenty of gay people don’t. Reducing a whole identity down to mannerisms is not only inaccurate, it’s insulting.

 

What’s worse is that people actually entertain it, as if there’s some universal manual on how “gay” should look or sound. It’s all just recycled stereotypes dressed up as advice. 

[Why?]

 

[EastSgDad]

Just be yourself!

True friends do not usually come from actors... unsure of their sincerity. 

[Why?]

3 hours ago, EastSgDad said:

Just be yourself!

True friends do not usually come from actors... unsure of their sincerity. 

When I went on my fourth date, a Malaysian man who says he doesn't understand Chinese pretended to be "westernized" by using forced accent English.   I went to his place one day for sex, and while he was taking a shower, I saw a few well-worn Chinese novels on his bookshelf. When he was done, I pretended not to know.   Eventually, his "westernised" accent English didn't hold very well, and fox tail started to show.   

 

On a different day, we spent CNY in Chinatown.  He pretended to make a concerted effort to understand one of the sellers, who spoke mandarin, because I was present.  I advised my Date to communicate in English instead.  Knowing he was pretending to be "Westernised", I reprimanded him in Mandarin and him knowing exactly what I had said, turned angry.  Don't you guys find such relationship exhausting even on the fundamental level? 

[EastSgDad]

11 minutes ago, Why? said:

When I went on my fourth date, a Malaysian man who says he doesn't understand Chinese pretended to be "westernized" by using forced accent English.   I went to his place one day for sex, and while he was taking a shower, I saw a few well-worn Chinese novels on his bookshelf. When he was done, I pretended not to know.   Eventually, his "westernised" accent English didn't hold very well, and fox tail started to show.   

 

On a different day, we spent CNY in Chinatown.  He pretended to make a concerted effort to understand one of the sellers, who spoke mandarin, because I was present.  I advised my Date to communicate in English instead.  Knowing he was pretending to be "Westernised", I reprimanded him in Mandarin and him knowing exactly what I had said, turned angry.  Don't you guys find such relationship exhausting even on the fundamental level? 

Indeed very exhausting.

Wasting time too. 

Empathise with u, truly.

[cutejack]

2 hours ago, Why? said:

When I went on my fourth date, a Malaysian man who says he doesn't understand Chinese pretended to be "westernized" by using forced accent English.   I went to his place one day for sex, and while he was taking a shower, I saw a few well-worn Chinese novels on his bookshelf. When he was done, I pretended not to know.   Eventually, his "westernised" accent English didn't hold very well, and fox tail started to show.   

 

On a different day, we spent CNY in Chinatown.  He pretended to make a concerted effort to understand one of the sellers, who spoke mandarin, because I was present.  I advised my Date to communicate in English instead.  Knowing he was pretending to be "Westernised", I reprimanded him in Mandarin and him knowing exactly what I had said, turned angry.  Don't you guys find such relationship exhausting even on the fundamental level? 

What so proud to pretend not to understand mother tongue language? When angmo don't even bother to speak our mother tongue. Hilarious Asians!

[Steve5380]

On 9/10/2025 at 1:19 AM, cutejack said:

What so proud to pretend not to understand mother tongue language? When angmo don't even bother to speak our mother tongue. Hilarious Asians!

 

It is not that Ang Moh "does not even bother".  Chinese is not a mandatory language taught in Western schools like English is taught in Singapore schools.  So... for an Ang Moh to speak Chinese IS NOT TRIVIAL!   I tried for a year to learn it myself, before I gave up! 

[cutejack]

5 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

It is not that Ang Moh "does not even bother".  Chinese is not a mandatory language taught in Western schools like English is taught in Singapore schools.  So... for an Ang Moh to speak Chinese IS NOT TRIVIAL!   I tried for a year to learn it myself, before I gave up! 

We are taught English to survive, to get job n all. Not to communicate with own family members n frens la. Can communicate when need to n not tongue twist as though don't know mother tongue la. What drama sia! Hahahaah

[radiusulnar]

Most people assume effeminate behaviour equates gay. So if behaviour changed, no more assumptions?

[Nivek]

I do assume all effeminate men are gay even if they are married and have children (due to society pressure). There's the look when your eyes meet that tells you. For straight looking guys it's harder to tell (my gaydar is not so good)...

[Why?]

On 9/3/2025 at 9:50 PM, hai said:

hello fellow BW members! just as a preface, im not insecure about my self being “not straight”, but rather how i am perceived by others. most people who meet me say “oh i knew you were gay from the start”. does anyone have tips to change this? 

 

TLDR: how to be straight acting? in a social sense

Here, we are already the target of mockery.  How far would you like to go?

 

[Steve5380]

4 hours ago, radiusulnar said:

Most people assume effeminate behaviour equates gay. So if behaviour changed, no more assumptions?

 

Assumptions are assumptions,  and just in case, it is better to avoid effeminate behavior.

 

3 hours ago, Nivek said:

I do assume all effeminate men are gay even if they are married and have children (due to society pressure). There's the look when your eyes meet that tells you. For straight looking guys it's harder to tell (my gaydar is not so good)...

 

Your assumption is easy to make.  But... who knows?   We men who are gay why should we be effeminate, since we are not women?   And after all, not all macho acting men are straight.