If We Could Be Together

[oralb]

by now regulars know that i have a "the-one-i-like-but-he-treat-me-like-fren" friend, met up with him for lunch and on the way to pick up my car, heard this long-forgotten song played over the shopping mall.

instead of the usual sorrow mood, i would like to share this song which has a more upbeat mood.

to VOCE and others, sometimes the cards of life didnt deck you a good card, dont give up, raised your chin and sing this song loud

We Could Be Together.

Performed by: Debbie Gibson.

Written by: Deborah Gibson.

VERSE 1:

If I were an only child

I would be a lonely child

but baby we've got nothing to lose

I'm standing tall in my own shoes

I'll take this chance

I'll make this choice

I'll right this wrong

I'll raise my voice

if it means

We'll be together

for a while

VERSE 2:

I have never had a doubt

But for you I'll take time out

I'll push his love far away from me

and then I'll be completely free

I'll give up my security

for just the possibility

that we could be together

for a while

CHORUS:

If you said "Jump!" I'd say "How high?"

If you said "Run!" I'd run and fly

Just for the chance

Just for the moment

Should the moment pass us by

and if you ask once I'll tell you twice

I'll ignore the world's advice

if we could be together

for a while

VERSE 3:

I am taken by your strength

I've thought about it at great length

I thought that I was happy now

but there are things that I found out

Happiness means greater things

I'll sit here 'til that telephone rings

then we could be together

for a while

CHORUS

BRIDGE:

Wait'll I tell my guy (wait'll I tell)

Wait'll I tell my other friends

They'll all think I'm crazy-

and ya know what?

That depends...

'cause I'm crazy in love

with you

and everyone's best won't do

They'll say my hopes

will not come true

But I'm taking the chance

Because you only live once-

Only live once (only live once)

And...

If you said "Jump!" I'd say "How high?"

If you said "Run!" You know I'd fly

Just for the chance

Just for the moment

Should the moment pass us by

and if you ask once I'll tell you twice

I'll ignore the world's advice

if we could be together

for a while

BRIDGE:

There are no guarantees

but if it means

there's even a possibility

then I'll give up whatever it takes

I know I've made some mistakes before

It may be just another closed door

But we could be together

for a while

If you said "Jump!" I'd say "How high?"

If you said "Run!" I'd run and fly

Just for the chance

Just for the moment

Should the moment pass us by

Ask me once I'll tell you twice,

You know I'll ignore the world's advice

if we could be together

for a while

CHORUS

Don't you know that we could be together

for a while.

[oralb]

the "you" in the song can be anything, a person, a dream, a goal.

so if you try hard enough, sometimes "we could be toether" coz "we only live once"

[VOCE]

Thanks OralB for the song.

When i see the title, it reminds me of "If we hold on together" by Diana Ross.... my all-time favourite...

Cheers ... to OralB

[oralb]

VOCE, go get this song, it is from her Electric Youth album, teeny pop, but play this song loud, sing to the tune.

it is 12 midnight now, look out your window, see all the windows outside (assuming you stayed in HDB ) everyone has his/ her fair share of problems, but the world waits for no-one, the sun will still raise tomorrow morning.

you have to and can only depends on yourself.

Because you only live once-  Only live once (only live once)

you have the CHOICE

[oralb]

thanx to youtube, we get to see the MTV of this song... though old time MTV sure is cheesy

Youtube MTV of If we Could be Together

[biguy]

wow,this song bring back my memories, can't rem how young am i, maybe when i started to watch cartoon thanks Oralb

[Guest 加油]

加油！i sure he will accept u soon

[inkjet]

ah. the good old memories. thanks for reminding me of that song, oralb

[oralb]

dont thank me, thank OCBC, ops wrong ads...

should really thank the radio for playing this song.

must be getting old, kept thinking of old songs i remember the lyics of the chorus portion and was singing to the tune while walking to my car...

[skylancer]

dont thank me, thank OCBC, ops wrong ads...

should really thank the radio for playing this song.

must be getting old, kept thinking of old songs i remember the lyics of the chorus portion and was singing to the tune while walking to my car...

oralb, dont think this song is old or new la.. as long as we all like to listen.. who cares it is old or new right?

[TopChinese]

Love that song... was just listening to it along with her "Lost in your eyes"... which was my no. 1 favourite from DB. Reminds me of a time when I was still in sec 1 shorts, innocent and wondering why it felt so shiok to have my cock sucked by another man..

Do you guys remember "All this Time" by Tiffany? They just don't write music the same way anymore!

[oralb]

speaking of singers of that era, remembered Cathy "touch me, all night long" dennis?

always love her "Too Many Walls"

- Dennis Cathy Lyrics - Too Many Walls Lyrics

Wish on a rainbows is all I can do

Dream of the good times that we never knew

No late nights in the warmth of your arms

I'll dream on

Living in wonder, thinking of you

Still looking for ways to uncover the truth

You're so young is all they can say

They don't know.

If I could change the way of the world

I'd be your girl

Too many walls have been built inbetween us

Too many dreams have been shattered around us

If I seem to give up they'll still never win

Deep in my heart I know the strength is within

Watching the others chances drift by

They'll never discover these feelings I hide

Deep inside I'm falling apart

All alone with a broken heart

Thinking in silence is all they allow

These words still unspoken may never be found

All these dreams one day will be mine

They cross my mind

My time has yet to come

Until then

Too many walls have been built inbetween us

Too many dreams have been shattered around us

If I seem to give up they'll still never win

Deep in my heart I know the strength is within

[oralb]

Too Many Walls MV in youtube

[Guest snow]

Come across this lyric and its kind of sad .

2 someone i love............but i dont get the love till now..........

Would be nice to have an english translate version of this lyric .

Thanks in advance.

不知道為什麼我沒走開

不知道為什麼你還在

難道心還傷的不夠　不夠痛

沒有一絲絲後悔　沒有一點悲

是不是我真的　可以無所謂

是不是能永遠　不後悔

是不是一定要　到最後一滴淚

痛才會有感覺

我一直以為　以為你能體會

一路上的笑和淚　都有你陪

我知道我不夠完美

不夠善解你要的感覺

甚至忘了說感謝　你付出的一切

我一直以為　以為你最了解

一路上的是與非　是我無力推

多少次我夢到從前

醒來後驚覺我臉上流著淚

從此沒有你在身邊

幸福就算是在眼前

也不覺得美

[oralb]

was supposed to meet "the-one-i-like-but-he-treat-me-like-fren" friend yesterday for lunch but he was down with a bad flu.

offered to take care of him but was turned down as he was with his family, well could only wish him to be well...

[chubbylover]

speaking of singers of that era, remembered Cathy "touch me, all night long" dennis?

Goes to show that the music these days are really...just noise. Songs of the old days never go out of fashion.

Oh yeah baby....touch me baby...touch me!

Cathy Dennis - Touch Me (All Night Long)

-----------------------------------------------

We're starting it over, we're making way for destiny

A time to turn over, a better life for you and me

A new recreation, to channel all this energy, hmmm

Let's solve the equation, I need to keep you close to me

So baby let your conscience go,

There's no turning back when love takes hold

Hold me baby, drive me crazy

Touch me all night long

Make me love you, kiss and hug you

Touch me all night long

The more that I see you

The more I know that love belongs

With you in my mind boy

I wouldn't know what's right from wrong

´Cos love will take over

And leave you out of sight and mind

You've got to go with the feeling

And trust fate to be kind

And baby let your conscience go

There's no turning back when love takes hold

Hold me baby, drive me crazy

Touch me all night long

Make me love you, kiss and hug you

Touch me all night long

Hold me baby, drive me crazy

Touch me all night long

Make me love you, kiss and hug you

Touch me all night long

And baby let your conscience go

There's no turning back when love takes hold

Hold me baby, drive me crazy

Touch me all night long

Make me love you, kiss and hug you

Touch me all night long

[oralb]

was supposed to meet "the-one-i-like-but-he-treat-me-like-fren" friend yesterday for lunch but he was down with a bad flu.

offered to take care of him but was turned down as he was with his family, well could only wish him to be well...

i sms him on how was he, he replied that his condition was quite bad and currently on progressive medication ...

wanted to help but dont know what to do

the feeling of powerless sucks

[Guest guest snow]

Actually its not bad at least he told you about his condition and replied your sms.

Morever it seems you guys keep in contact with each other which is better then me

still hoping and sometimes no calls or sms .

everyday is liked waiting but no results .

i feels like ending all this

hopeless situations and start over but i was unable to do it as my love is with him.

and it had been a long wait for me ..............................and here i am still hoping ................................................................................

....! And i know it will never happen .....................

是不是一定要我走開 你才會有感覺 ......................

[oralb]

i guess so, but it can be frustrating at times when he is so close yet so far.

i dont whether is that kindness reply that he is giving or is he geuinely keen to maintain frenship.

there were few occasion that i told him that i was having a bad day but no response from him, hence i have learned to share only the good things with him...

[Guest Guest]

I am also very torn apart on someone whom I really like, but probably will have nothing good come out of it. The feeling sucks big time. I want to move on, but my freaking heart will not let go.

Sometimes I really don't know what to do.

I guess guestsnow is right. At the very least he is still communicating with you.

[Guest Guest]

Sometimes I am really very tired and wish I can just let go of everything.

I recently saw a clip on TV where they are featuring people with depression. There is this ex celebrity who was talking about his condition. I guess the way he said that there was a time he told his friend that he is really really tired. I can relate immediately.

The situation with this friend of mine is giving me this feeling, tired feeling.

At times I wish I would not have to wake up the next day when I go to bed at night.

[oralb]

Baby, Don't You Break My Heart Slow

Artist: Vonda Shepard with Emily Sailers of the Indigo Girls Lyrics

I like the way you wanted me

Every night for so long baby

I like the way you needed me

Every time things got rocky

I was believing in you

Am I mistaken do you say,

Do you say what you mean

I want our love to last forever

But I'd rather you be mean than love and lie

I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye

I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know

But baby don't you break my heart slow

I like the way you'd hold me

Every night for so long baby

And I like the way you'd say my name

In the middle of the night

While you were sleeping

I was believing in you

Was I mistaken

Do you mean, mean what you say

When you say our love could last forever

Well I'd rather you be mean than love and lie

I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye

I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know

But baby don't you break my heart slow

[bridge]

You would run around and lead me on forever

While I wait at home thinking that we're together

I wanted our love to last forever

Well I'd rather you be mean than love and lie

I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye

I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know

But baby don't you break my heart slow

[oralb]

to the above Guest, seek help. you are moving to the range of depression and sucidal.

go for a holiday, do social work, go to a sauna or whatever, dont force yourself into a dead end.

i would like to tell you to let go, but heck it isnt easy and i think i am not a good role model to start with.

as long as you are alive, you still have a fighting chance, no matter how slim...

[Guest 老江湖]

Don't mind me kaypoh here.

Forbidden fruits taste sweetest. You all want to sigh and want to die because he is attached and cannot makan. I ask you what happen if he say ok be sex friend? Will you still be so sad?

My case, I ever also think he cannot be reached. I hint here hint there he also pretend don't know but I know he knows. Then one day at his house his family not home, we watching TV and suddenly he walk out from toilet half naked with shorts and can see his hard on. No need to say one thing lead to another, then he makan me or I makan him.

After he makan me it becomes like he respect me lesser because I am 自动送上门. So I got him in bed but he will never consider me good enough because like that song says "will you still love me tomorrow?" Because during sex I already shamelessly let him do everything to me. Last time when I put on masculine mask, he still think of me as manly. But after bonking me upside down a few times, the way he talk down to me is...sigh He is nicer when we just friends.

So I think you people just like to create romantic dreams about him out of reach. One day when you really get him maybe you think he no different from other men actually. It is all in your mind.

[oralb]

Don't mind me kaypoh here.

Forbidden fruits taste sweetest. You all want to sigh and want to die because he is attached and cannot makan. I ask you what happen if he say ok be sex friend? Will you still be so sad?

pardon me, but you are a little Kaypoh

coz never did i mentioned that guy is attached or married, from what i know, he is pretty much single as i am.

maybe that's why it is even sad as i cant even pretend that it is due to his other comittment that we couldnt be together.

anyway maybe you are right, forbidden fruit taste the sweetest and grass is always greener on the other side. maybe i couldnt have him and hence i tag a high value on it.

maybe it is lust, i am lusting his body, stripping him naked and hugged him tight.

or maybe i really like him

or a combination

back to your case, you can always get your pride back anytime you wanted. when he is belittling you, you can always walk out. but i guess you like that feeling of being empowered by him, or maybe deep down inside, you love him.

[friendlychatguy]

Don't mind me kaypoh here.

Forbidden fruits taste sweetest. You all want to sigh and want to die because he is attached and cannot makan. I ask you what happen if he say ok be sex friend? Will you still be so sad?

My case, I ever also think he cannot be reached. I hint here hint there he also pretend don't know but I know he knows. Then one day at his house his family not home, we watching TV and suddenly he walk out from toilet half naked with shorts and can see his hard on. No need to say one thing lead to another, then he makan me or I makan him.

After he makan me it becomes like he respect me lesser because I am 自动送上门. So I got him in bed but he will never consider me good enough because like that song says "will you still love me tomorrow?" Because during sex I already shamelessly let him do everything to me. Last time when I put on masculine mask, he still think of me as manly. But after bonking me upside down a few times, the way he talk down to me is...sigh He is nicer when we just friends.

So I think you people just like to create romantic dreams about him out of reach. One day when you really get him maybe you think he no different from other men actually. It is all in your mind.

It happens in ALL relationships...usually there is attraction in the beginning but what follows may not necessarily be love...when the novelty wears off, sometimes we realised it's shaky because there was never any love as foundation in the first place...it takes both to sustain or make it happen...sometimes with luck it happened the way you wished for...but as no one can promise you it will stay as it is forever, so do be thankful that at least it did happened for a while...

[Riko]

Aiyoh... why are you all stressing over such things. What I've learnt about matters of the heart is to just let it happen.

Maybe I'm just too jaded with life that I just can't be bothered anymore. But strange thing is, it has such a calming effect on you and I've never been happier.

Such a paradox.

[Guest Guest]

Thank you for the advice. I guess I have been in this mood for quite a while and honestly speaking, I have been through worse.

I guess I am some where in the mild spectrum of being sucidal. It will take a lot of courage to commit suicide and I don't think I have it in me to do it.

I am very tired and that's why I wish I don't have to wake up to another day of not knowing what else to look forward to, another day of not able to be someone you love, another day of having to go to work and yet not able to concentrate on the work...

[oralb]

dear guest:

From my viewpoint, you really need to have more things in your life to look forward to.

yes love if your life is crucial, but it shouldnt be the whole of your life. what abt your frens, your family, your dreams?

we all have our up-and-down periods, key point is that we should look forward to the perks in life when we are facing hurdles.

we may not have Riko's ability to not bothered with life happening, but we should at least learn to have a positive outlook in life.

as said, as long as you are alive, there is a chance to accomplish something.

we can write many advices but ultimately you have to help yourself. social work is a good avenue to spend your spare time and energy, pick a cause that you support and you will see that whatever you are facing is not the end of the world.

mentally i am prepared for the day when HE tells me that he has found his true love. while i will be sad, i will wish him all the best and move on with life.

[Guest guest snow]

Its never easy at all.........

[oralb]

since when life is easy?

[mature40s]

Reading the postings here reminded me of my experience several years ago. I had a colleague "J" from another department whom I liked alot. As J worked on shifts, I could only see him on certain days. When he was working on the normal day shift, I would deliberately arranged my schedule so that I would bumped into him. When we got to know each other, we would have lunch and teabreaks together.

When I asked J for his home phone number, he said it was not convenient and gave me his pager instead (handphone was very expensive at that time). He said he was staying with his grandmother. I asked my colleague from the HR dept to check J's marital status and the record showed that he was single. He also seemed to know about the cruising places. This motivated me to get closer to J. Whenever I paged J, he would always returned my call. We met during weekends and I was very happy whenever I was with him. We spent hours on the phone. Although there was no physical intimacy, I didn't mind keeping our relationship that way because it was so blissful. J even suggested that we go to Malaysia for holiday.

During the third day of Chinese New Year, I surprised him by calling his home (I got the number from one of his colleagues). A woman answered the call and I could hear a little girl voice in the background. When I asked J who was that woman, there was a long pause and finally he admitted that was his wife. When I heard that, my hand was trembling and I was out of breath. It took me quite awhile to summon enough courage to ask J why he didn't tell me about his family. J did not answer my question. I broke the silence and said that I just wanted to wish him happy new year.

After that incidence, I continue to see J. J told me that he got married when he was 21 years old. Sometimes when we were together, J would tell me that he wished he was single. Finally I met J's family during his birthday. Even though I felt confused and extreme pain in me, I had to pretend that nothing had happened. I struggled emotionally and couldn't concentrate on my work. I felt that the only way to curtain the pain was to leave the company which I finally did. I gradually lost contact with J. This whole episode lasted for about 3 years.

[oralb]

what if you met up with J again, what would you say to him?

if he say he is willing to leave his family to be with you, what's you reaction?

[Golfnut]

SIGH

My heart goes out to everyone here caught in the web of requited love. I know what you are going through.

Especially those who can't seemed to let go, and those who goes to bed hoping they do not wake up and those who wish to just end it all. Trust me, I understand your pain.

I do not have any profound words of wisdom that will ease your hurt immediately. However I know for a fact that time will heal and the pain and hurt will slowly subside. That is a guarantee. Trust me on this.

The scar on your heart this episode left behind will determine the way you feel for another person that comes along. Learn from this experience but do not be bitter. By all means, trust your heart to love someone again, but do it with caution.

I spoke on the phone to OralB this afternoon. After the conversation, I suddenly recalled an incident which happened to me in 1991 which left me completely and utterly shattered. I had buried this episode of my life in the deep recess of my memory but reading about what is happening to you guys brought everything back.

I will share with you guys what happened but I beg your patience. I type with only two fingers and it is going to be a long post. So I am going to post this comment first and then I am going to start my story in notepad and after I finish I will post it. Looks like it is going to be a long long night.

For those hurting and in pain, please promise me you will stay with me on this.

Chin up mate!

[Guest snowing in august]

since when life is easy?

Life is never ever easy but when you put your heart and soul on something that will never enlight is tormenting and hurtful.

Thats how i feel ....

i had commited my all to a person who dont appreciate my love at all...nothing

Time can heal the pain but the scar will always remain and it really cuts like a blade to your heart.

Everybody almost had been hurt and asked them how it feels regardless of ages different.

we are all the same .

We envy and blessed our friends with their lovers and we lend our shoulder for the heartbroken n dishearted.

We are all human and we had feeling regardless of ages .........

loving someone is easy but winning the love is not and thats the hardest part .

george micheal had a song thats burned my heart

a different corner

I'd say love was a magical thing

I'd say love would keep us from pain

Had I been there, had I been there

I would promise you all of my life

But to lose you would cut like a knife

So I don't dare, no I don't dare

'Cause I've never come close in all of these years

You are the only one to stop my tears

And I'm so scared, I'm so scared

Take me back in time maybe I can forget

Turn a different corner and we never would have met

Would you care

I don't understand it, for you it's a breeze

Little by little you've brought me to my knees

Don't you care

No I've never come close in all of these years

You are the only one to stop my tears

I'm so scared of this love

And if all that there is is this fear of being used

I should go back to being lonely and confused

If I could, I would, I swear

May the brothers out there be strong and stay on to whatever unhappiness and joy in love and life

For me im trying my best to carry this flame of mine

[Guest Guest]

Sometimes it is so hard. It was harder then when there aren't forums like this for me to seek solice from someone who would understand. I can't go to my folks and family, as I have strained my relationship with them over the years of unable to open up to them. My circle of friends come and go because I am unable to relate to them what I am going through. At times I seem unreasonable to them. I understand this is mostly my fault, but I just can't get my feelings straighten up.

I have comtemplated getting professional help, but I am at a loss as to who to find and what to tell them.

I am trying my best to keep my head up. But when the night creeps in, the feeling of dread follows.

[cub33]

Sometimes it is so hard. It was harder then when there aren't forums like this for me to seek solice from someone who would understand. I can't go to my folks and family, as I have strained my relationship with them over the years of unable to open up to them. My circle of friends come and go because I am unable to relate to them what I am going through. At times I seem unreasonable to them. I understand this is mostly my fault, but I just can't get my feelings straighten up.

I have comtemplated getting professional help, but I am at a loss as to who to find and what to tell them.

I am trying my best to keep my head up. But when the night creeps in, the feeling of dread follows.

Hello Guest,

Just want to share wif u tt in life, not all the time, things go as what we plan.

we get disappointed by the ones we loved too.

But don give up, only u can make urself strong. U can sit down & cry, but u muz stand up again to walk on life's journey.

There is tis song tt I enjoyed very much, & i hoped it will bring some inspiration to u too:

IF WE HOLD ON TOGETHER:

Don lose ur way with each passing day

U come so far, don throw it away

live believing, dreams r for weaving

wonders are waiting to start

live ur story, fath hope & glory

hold to the truth in ur heart

CHORUS:

if we hold on together,

i know our dreams will nvr die

dream see us through to forever

where clouds roll by

for u & i..

U can go to Utube & watch the MTV for this song.. Hear the full song & listen to the lyrics. very meaningful.

[oralb]

maybe sometimes love just ain't enough, i remember someone said that we are brought all the challenges and hurdles of love so that when true love comes, we will cherish it...

----------------------------------------

Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough

by Patty Smyth

----------------------------------------

Now, I don't want to lose you, but I don't want to use you

just to have somebody by my side.

And I don't want to hate you,

I don't want to take you, but I don't want to be the one to cry.

And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.

But like a fool I keep losing my place

and I keep seeing you walk through that door.

(Chorus)

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,

and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.

There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.

Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

Now, I could never change you, I don't want to blame you.

Baby, you don't have to take the fall.

Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you.

Maybe I just want to have it all.

It makes a sound like thunder, it makes me feel like rain.

And like a fool who will never see the truth,

I keep thinking something's gonna change.

(Chorus)

And there's no way home, when it's late at night and you're all alone.

Are there things that you wanted to say?

And do you feel me beside you in your bed,

there beside you, where I used to lay?

And there's a danger in loving somebody too much,

and it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.

There's a reason why people don't stay who they are.

Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.

Baby, sometimes, love... it just ain't enough.

Oh, Oh, Oh, No.

[oralb]

And like a fool who will never see the truth,

I keep thinking something's gonna change.

like what Golfnut said to me over the phone

years later

when the dust has settled

i will look back at all these

and

laugh at my irrationality

[Golfnut]

SIGH

My heart goes out to everyone here caught in the web of requited love. I know what you are going through. 

Especially those who can't seemed to let go, and those who goes to bed hoping they do not wake up and those who wish to just end it all.  Trust me, I understand your pain.

I do not have any profound words of wisdom that will ease your hurt immediately.  However I know for a fact that time will heal and the pain and hurt will slowly subside.  That is a guarantee.  Trust me on this.

The scar on your heart this episode left behind will determine the way you feel for another person that comes along. Learn from this experience but do not be bitter.  By all means, trust your heart to love someone again, but do it with caution.

I spoke on the phone to OralB this afternoon.  After the conversation, I suddenly recalled an incident which happened to me in 1991 which left me completely and utterly shattered.  I had buried this episode of my life in the deep recess of my memory but reading about what is happening to you guys brought everything back.

I will share with you guys what happened but I beg your patience.  I type with only two fingers and it is going to be a long post.  So I am going to post this comment first and then I am going to start my story in notepad and after I finish I will post it. Looks like it is going to be a long long night.

For those hurting and in pain, please promise me you will stay with me on this.

Chin up mate!

I am sorry but I could not finish the story last night. I have to entertain a friend based in Shenzhen today so I can only continue later. please bear with me.

My circle of friends come and go because I am unable to relate to them what I am going through. At times I seem unreasonable to them. I understand this is mostly my fault, but I just can't get my feelings straighten up.

I have comtemplated getting professional help, but I am at a loss as to who to find and what to tell them.

I am trying my best to keep my head up. But when the night creeps in, the feeling of dread follows.

Bro, you gotta hang on. Trust me, I have been through the same....maybe worst. You want to seek spiritual help if professional help is not available.

Try talking to your doctor first. You might actually be suffering from depression that can be helped by medications.

I knew of a lady suffering from post partum depression that almost killed herself. Sometime our brain play tricks with us. See your doc first and tell him you think you are suffering from depression. You need not tell him EVERYTING but you can always tell you are depressed over a failed relationship with a lady.

One other thing, do not go to your company doctor on this.

Meanwhile, continue to share your pain with us. A load shared is a load less heavy.

Take good care.

[Guest foolish heart]

i made the mistake of giving my heart, body and possibly soul to a divorce man.

initially we met just for dinners. me having problems with my bf and i need to talk to someone besides my grp of bros... and the need to try to find other aj guys for normal chats and maybe support.

the fact is, when i met this guy, we just have dinners and long talks along the beach. which was nice. he related to me and encouraged me. all along he knew abt my situation with my bf and i did not know that he was married.

until the 3rd date on a beach he jus revealed to me and i found out he had kids too. he does not look old actually despite his age and it was surprising to me as he seemed like the sort of guy who will not share much with many and like me, we are both discreet .( im in my mid 20s and he is in his early 40s) i guess it was our fourth date where he pick me up from work and suggested to go to his house as he wanted to take a short shower. after shower he jus hugged me(bear in mind i've not showered! ) and one thing leads to another, we did it. i guess months of hurt and repressed feelings just felt like it was being released and he was a very loving person in that sense.slowly i gave myself and i was so silly to have... fallen for him..silly to show my emotions...all in my mind i kept thinking that this is jus sex..(safe sex..) and it seems like he knows his ways to charm and maybe take advantage of me.

anyway the next day i thought he would not sms me anymore due to the drastic change in out friendship but he did. he was gentleman enough to send me home and smsed me in the morning.

then days later he actually wanted me to go out wif him and his little boy for dinner( i would go if not i had an appt wif a fren that day) .

so i asked my 'bros' and they say not to take it seriously. man his age are experiences and are out to just conquer new young guys like me and will move on to fresher meat and new blood. so im am not to be so silly to invest in him and to treat it was purely sex.

but for me i thought, why would a divorce man wana let another guy to hang out wif him and his kids?( he lives alone as the kids are wif the mom)

i AM torn, possibly i gave my heart too soon?

so the next few dates, we met and had sex and dinner. it became more clear to me that i felt something real. then my overseas uni application came back and i was accepted to go next year. which means i will leave sg and him. he did tell me to remember the good memories we share and i made my feelings clear to him that i loved him during the short time we spend together. rite now as im gona prepare to leave sg in a few mths, we never smsed anymore. we ended it mths ago and rite now i feel so torn inside. he kept telling me im his soulmate. i dare not even think abt it. cos i dun believe so if he jus stopped smsing me and ....i know i m having probs wif my current bf but now my bf and i know that we will have to part eventually.... am i that bad to do this to my bf? maybe its karma thats breaking my heart..! i deserve this heartbreak i deserve it!!!!! all this concept of finding that soulmate disappear years ago until i met him. he was the one who made me believe that maybe there are some things like truth and love...between man...........

i missed him..............but yet wats the point of meeting him anymore? maybe i have been taken advantaged of.

i guess i will have to move on.. in a few mths will be a new environment and a new life. sorry if this sounds too long jus wana share a little bit of pain in my life....cheers to life then...

[Guest Guest]

Thanks Golfnut.

I was in a much worse situation a while back. I tried to pull myself together and managed to do that a little at a time. But recently, I am feeling that I am begining to slip back again.

Most of this probably attributed to someone I really like, but probably don't like me back. You all probably know the feeling of really falling head over heels for someone. Your mind just drift back to him almost every waking moment. The longing to see his face but afraid that there will be disappointment when you actually do and he does not really bother about you.

I try not to think too much about him now (Thank god I don't work with him), unfortunately i have to meet him due to social reasons. And that day I saw him in uniform as he was in reservist, *swoon*. Got such an overwhelming urge to hold and hug him tightly.

Haiz, I will have to spend another few months trying to forgot about this.

[mature40s]

Time watches clean ..... we know this but it is going through the healing process that sucks. I have a friend who did not survive the process ... he jumped from his flat .... sigh. I learned that a depressed and suicidal person should never be left alone. Friends should rally around him and keep him company round the clock. This lesson probably helped to save the life of another friend who was going through hell. We took turns to accompany him 24 hours a day.

OralB - I did bump into J a couple of times at Shenton Way. We just chatted like old friends. Personally, I do not think it is right to be emotionally involved with a married man. If I knew that J is married, I would not have invested 3 years in him and another 1 year on the healing process. And I will never ever allow myself to break up a family. This is just my personal principle.

[Guest Dedication]

the irony of ironies in life - only faith makes us stronger. i am reading this thread, and its progression, with sadness. some of you might have read my thread 'A Thank You Note', which is being dedicated to someone very dear, and becoming 'my little space' to undergo a healing process by writing there. in that thread, i am the opposite of If We Could Be Together, where i was 'dumped' but left with unrequited desire to be with him.

our emotional downturn are synonymous with the pains that we are going through, and hoping something bigger can sweep us to a higher level of comfort and achievement.

this thread has caught my attention right from the beginning when oralb started pouring out his true self. it touches on real issue - that we are human afterall. however, as i am reflecting back, i wonder - say, we drop the word 'IF' [afterall, neuro-linguistically, 'IF' should not be in our vocab] and that two people are together, shouldn't a couple treasure what is being shared and work out through thick and thin any indifferences and avoiding pains?

yes, life has many turns - and we are seeing them here. i guess, i have come to a point where my outlook may have changed - that, at the end of a cycle, it is about integrity. the integrity to respect our own soul; the dignity to own life with joy and peace; the rights to live and be alive.

we cannot - and we are never a superman, avoid sadness, sorrow and pain. only after we embrace those turmoiled emotions, that we can experience the opposite. love will take a new light and importantly, our insight to life brightens up. there is truth when Golfnut wrote:

The scar on your heart this episode left behind will determine the way you feel for another person that comes along. Learn from this experience but do not be bitter. By all means, trust your heart to love someone again, but do it with caution.

[unquote]

the keyword that we should live by is "Do Not Be Bitter". life is mathematically simple - that when we appreciate love, we get love; that when we embrace bitterness, we become bitter. what we think usually transformed itself to what we think.

regards.

[Guest Guest]

To All,

Notes on Detachment.

It has taken me all of my life to learn detachment, and I am so glad I have learned to be so. We think of detachment as being unfeeling, cold, but one can still have feelings and yet be separate from those feelings. It comes with matured understanding and development. It is the goal of everyone to get to higher level.

Learns all the lessons on detachment along the way.

You guys are not alone.

[Guest Dedication]

Sometimes it is so hard. It was harder then when there aren't forums like this for me to seek solice from someone who would understand. I can't go to my folks and family, as I have strained my relationship with them over the years of unable to open up to them. My circle of friends come and go because I am unable to relate to them what I am going through. At times I seem unreasonable to them. I understand this is mostly my fault, but I just can't get my feelings straighten up.

I have comtemplated getting professional help, but I am at a loss as to who to find and what to tell them.

I am trying my best to keep my head up. But when the night creeps in, the feeling of dread follows.

hello foolish heart,

first, please accept my apologies if i sound harsh - it is not intended to poke fun nor pricking into your conscience - but i feel that i need to voice out alittle here.

i made the mistake of giving my heart

personally, i dont think you made a mistake - your ability in 'giving my heart' speaks aloud of your personality of being a loving person. love is a doctor; a science that bridged our soul and our livelihood.

i guess months of hurt and repressed feelings just felt like it was being released and he was a very loving person in that sense

awareness in our state of being, at all times, is crucial. the law of attraction and vibration is always in play with our state of being. when we are experiencing a low period, someone-somewhere usually tends to appear. it is the pyschic of life - a repression is a social conglomerate and it brings people together easily.

the fact that you were searching for someone to understand you had appeared. unfortunately, he was married and thus, the label 'bi' with all its bad connotation overuled your thinking mind. it seems to me that your conscience was fine and that you let yourself inched closer and deeper with him.

it is natural that we let doubts cloud our mind and feelings, especially when we are not comfortable engaging our feelings with bi guys. to make matters worse, your friends tuned a same cord and "they say not to take it seriously". i am, in no way, defending bi-guys. however, i would like to take and treat a person for what he is, minusing his name, status, colour and the likes. personally, i always believe that we can be at ease with our lives when we look at a man and into his heart.

it became more clear to me that i felt something real

it is always sad when belong to someone else, when our heart is with another. perhaps, you actually wanted a way out with your bf and the universe presented you with this bi guy. perhaps, you are yet to love your bf and the universe wants you to recognise your inner desire. the answer only lies with you.

take charge of your feelings - what seems real for now may not be what you want if you are not honouring what is truly is.

your experience reminds me of a book [and later made into a movie] entitled 'A Bridge of the Madison County'. both yours and his path crossed - and there is a lesson that need to be learned. i can only encourage you to honour the existence of love - that love has subtlely healed when he appeared in your life.

am i that bad to do this to my bf? maybe its karma thats breaking my heart

we are in no position to judge you. take courage to look into your situation and be honest with your feelings.

karma is about having a mirror infront of us - it speaks in cohort of our intention.

i missed him..............but yet wats the point of meeting him anymore? maybe i have been taken advantaged of.

i guess i will have to move on.. in a few mths will be a new environment and a new life. sorry if this sounds too long jus wana share a little bit of pain in my life....cheers to life then...

personally, and if we are to go with Golfnut's quote "Do Not Be Bitter", and that i am in your shoe, i would communicate/meet with him before my departure. it is always good to end things amicably for our lives to be greeted with all things good. we dont have to 'be bitter' but to honour that we had been well. life is a circle that goes round and round - what we do now affect the next thing. hence, be at peace with yourself.

am taking this opportunity to wish you a better future and that your overseas stint earned you a degree. all the very best, my friend!

regards.

[Guest Guest]

Actually I have been entertaining a dangerous thought...

I am begining to wonder if I am no longer around, will he miss me in any way...

I understand that this is not healthy, but alas, I have no control over how my heart feels. To think that me being not around will make him think about me for a while ...

[Guest SleeplessInTampines]

Actually I have been entertaining a dangerous thought...

I am begining to wonder if I am no longer around, will he miss me in any way...

I understand that this is not healthy, but alas, I have no control over how my heart feels. To think that me being not around will make him think about me for a while ...

Not as much as your parents and the people who really care about you.

Spare a little thought for these people will ya? Please.

Why put yourself through so much for someone who do not care about you and YET ignoring those who do?

[Guest Dedication]

Actually I have been entertaining a dangerous thought...

I am begining to wonder if I am no longer around, will he miss me in any way...

I understand that this is not healthy, but alas, I have no control over how my heart feels. To think that me being not around will make him think about me for a while ...

.. To think that me being not around will make him think about me for a while

is this worth? - just for awhile? we live our life to be fondly remembered, for all the deeds [good and bad] that we shared with another. why seek for a while when life is priceless?

the saddest thing about a 'departure' is the tormented sorrow our loved ones got to live with - that their each passing day is, often, filled with regrets. ending a life might sound easy, and perhaps a beginning of something unknown, but it is also an act of a cowardice whose not willing to face life with pride.

do love your life, my friend. and since it is a weekend, call a friend and have a good chat - or perhaps, just walk in nature and embrace the quality of LIFE that our life deserves to be here.

may you find strength.

[oralb]

to all:

i started this thread as a meant of writing my feeling, i know the chances with him is slim but hoping to use this to vent off some frustration.

while it drawed out some reader's encouraging posting, i am pretty concern by some's sucidal inclination.

sometimes we just need to talk to someone, someone to tell us the obvious, someone to wake us up on our indulgence in self-pity. look around you, there are others in worst fate but living to fight the odds.

be strong.

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