worldangel Posted June 9 Report Share Posted June 9 Joke: A lawyer is standing in a long... A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line." "Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Tuesday at 01:09 PM Report Share Posted Tuesday at 01:09 PM Joke: A man walked into a cafe... A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer. "Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent." One Cent?" the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked: "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?" "A nickel," the barman replied. "A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?" The bartender replied: "Upstairs, with my wife." The man asked: "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?" The bartender replied: "The same thing I'm doing to his business down here." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Tuesday at 01:10 PM Report Share Posted Tuesday at 01:10 PM Joke: We've all heard about people... We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below: "Guts" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?" "Balls," is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife square on the arse and having the balls to say, "You're next, fatty!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Tuesday at 01:10 PM Report Share Posted Tuesday at 01:10 PM Joke: Eating Out This married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor. The husband asks "I notice you've been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?" "Yes" she replies. "He's my ex-husband and has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago." "That's remarkable" the husband replies. "I wouldn't think anybody could celebrate that long." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Tuesday at 01:11 PM Report Share Posted Tuesday at 01:11 PM Joke: Checking out A woman rushes into the foyer of a large hotel and sprints up to reception, she hammers on the bell. Yes, says the receptionist irritably. Excuse me, says the woman, but I'm in a frightful hurry, could you check me out, please? The clerk stares at her, looks her up and down. Not bad, he smiles, not bad at all. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Wednesday at 03:49 PM Report Share Posted Wednesday at 03:49 PM Joke: A stage.... During a performance for the high school talent show at the local theatre, a hole was cracked in the stage floor. Subsequent acts managed to avoid the damaged area until little Freddy, juggling bowling pins, accidentally stepped through the hole up to his knee. He apologized to the audience for his clumsiness. But a heckler in the back of the theatre shouted: "Don't worry, Freddy! It's just a stage you're going through!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Wednesday at 03:50 PM Report Share Posted Wednesday at 03:50 PM Joke: Learning About Democracy I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I'm the one with the money. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Wednesday at 03:51 PM Report Share Posted Wednesday at 03:51 PM Joke: Charge By The Inch Having had one too many, a bar drinker was beginning to display an ugly side. An unescorted female sat down beside him and he whispered to her, "Hey ! How about it babe? You and me ?" As she got up to move, he said loudly, "Honey, you sure look like you could use the money, but I don't have an extra two dollars." She looked back and replied just as loudly, "What makes you think I charge by the inch ?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Wednesday at 03:52 PM Report Share Posted Wednesday at 03:52 PM Joke: Something That Made You Cry A literature teacher is explaining the power of poems and stories. "Have you ever read something that made you cry?" A student replied, "Yeah, my last report card." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Thursday at 01:20 PM Report Share Posted Thursday at 01:20 PM Joke: Two married buddies are out drinking... Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's butt and say, 'Lets do it!' And, she's always sound asleep. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Thursday at 01:20 PM Report Share Posted Thursday at 01:20 PM Joke: Eating Out This married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor. The husband asks "I notice you've been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?" "Yes" she replies. "He's my ex-husband and has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago." "That's remarkable" the husband replies. "I wouldn't think anybody could celebrate that long." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Thursday at 01:21 PM Report Share Posted Thursday at 01:21 PM Joke: Smashing The Cigarettes A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. "No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes," he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said, handing him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in the hallway." "Now," she said, "if only I could find my gerbil." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Thursday at 01:22 PM Report Share Posted Thursday at 01:22 PM Joke: You have to stay in shape... You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and... we have no idea where she is. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Friday at 02:19 PM Report Share Posted Friday at 02:19 PM Joke: A man standing at a bus stop ... A man standing at a bus stop was eating a hamburger. Next to him stood a lady with her little dog, which became very excited at the smell of the man's supper and began whining and jumping up at him. The man noticed this, in fact he was getting rather annoyed at the dog. "Do you mind if I throw him a bit?" said the man to the lady. "Not at all," she replied, whereupon the man picked the dog up and threw it over a wall. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Friday at 02:20 PM Report Share Posted Friday at 02:20 PM Joke: A police officer was investigating ... A police officer was investigating an accident on a two-lane, narrow road in which the drivers had hit virtually head-on. One driver, an extremely elderly woman, kept repeating, "He wouldn't let me have my half of the road!" After gathering as much information as possible, he angrily approached the other driver, who was examining his own damage. The police officer asked, "That old lady says that you wouldn't let her have her half of the road. Why not? In exasperation, the man turns from his smashed car and says, "Officer, I would have been HAPPY to give her half of the road --- if she had just let me know WHICH half she wanted!!!!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Friday at 02:20 PM Report Share Posted Friday at 02:20 PM Joke: Stop Drinking My doctor has advised me to stop drinking. It's going to be a massive change for me. I've been with that doctor for 15 years. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Friday at 02:21 PM Report Share Posted Friday at 02:21 PM Joke: Pee in the pool.... Little Johnny was approached by the lifeguard at the public swimming pool. "You're not allowed to pee in the pool," said the lifeguard. "I'm going to report you." "But everyone pees in the pool," insisted Little Johnny. "That may be," said the lifeguard, "but not from the diving board!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted yesterday at 03:22 PM Report Share Posted yesterday at 03:22 PM Joke: Tom was at the hospital visiting ... Tom was at the hospital visiting with his best friend Larry who was dying. Tom asked, "If there is baseball in heaven will you come back and tell me?" Larry nodded yes just as he passed away. That night while Tom was sleeping, he heard Larry's voice in a dream, "Tom..." "Larry! What is it?!" asked Tom. "I have good news and bad news from heaven." "What's the good news?" "There is baseball in heaven after all, but the bad news is you're pitching on Tuesday." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted yesterday at 03:23 PM Report Share Posted yesterday at 03:23 PM Joke: My dad Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted yesterday at 03:24 PM Report Share Posted yesterday at 03:24 PM Joke: Take Your Kid To Work Day An 8 year old girl went to the office with her father on 'Take your kid to work Day'. As they walked round the office she started crying and getting cranky. Her father asked what was wrong. As the staff gathered around, she sobbed loudly, "Daddy, where are all the clowns you said you worked with?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted yesterday at 03:25 PM Report Share Posted yesterday at 03:25 PM Joke: Suit Yourself The owner of the tuxedo store kept hovering over me when I was browsing, so I asked him to leave me alone. He said, “Fine, suit yourself.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted 28 minutes ago Report Share Posted 28 minutes ago Joke: A week after their marriage, the... A week after their marriage, the Redneck newlyweds paid a visit to their doctor..." I can't figure it out doc, and I'm really worried," said the husband." My testicles are turning blue." "That's pretty unusual," said the doctor. "Let me examine you." The doctor takes a look. Sure enough, the Redneck's testicles are blue. The doctor turns to the wife. "Are you using the diaphragm that I prescribed?" "Yes, I am," she replied. "And what kind of jelly are you using with it?" "Grape" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted 27 minutes ago Report Share Posted 27 minutes ago Joke: A man realized he needed to purchase ... A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but didn't want to spend a lot of money. "How much do they cost?" he asked the salesman. "Anything from $2 to $2,000." "Can I see the $2 model?" said the customer. The salesman put the device around the man's neck, and said: "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down into your pocket." "How does it work?" asked the customer. "For $2, it doesn't work," said the salesman. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted 27 minutes ago Report Share Posted 27 minutes ago Joke: A true tech support story... Tech Support: 'What does the screen say now.' Person: 'It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'.' Tech Support: 'Well?' Person: 'How do I know when it's ready?' Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted 26 minutes ago Report Share Posted 26 minutes ago Joke: An explorer walked into a clearing... An explorer walked into a clearing and was surprised to see a pigmy standing beside a huge dead elephant. "Did you kill that?" he asked. The pigmy answered: "Yes". "How could a little bloke like you kill something as huge as that?" "I killed it with my club" replied the pigmy. "That's amazing," said the explorer. "How big's your club?" The pigmy replied: "There's about 150 of us" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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