worldangel Posted June 22, 2025 Posted June 22, 2025 Joke: Corruption At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't hear the question. "Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question." "Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted June 22, 2025 Posted June 22, 2025 Joke: A young lady came home from a ... A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Jeff proposed to me an hour ago." "Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked. "Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a hell." Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted June 22, 2025 Posted June 22, 2025 Joke: Viagra... An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra. The pharmacist said "That's no problem. How many do you want?" The man answered" Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces." The pharmacist said "That won’t do you any good." The elderly gentleman said "That's alright. I don't need them for sex anymore as I am over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes." shyc 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted June 23, 2025 Posted June 23, 2025 Joke: The blind date After being with his blind date all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with her. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened. When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died." "Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted June 23, 2025 Posted June 23, 2025 Joke: Remove the curse... An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse" he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says "maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation "I now pronounce you man and wife". Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted June 23, 2025 Posted June 23, 2025 Joke: Why are you crying? Two guys were sitting outside a medical clinic. One of them was crying, tears were pouring down his face. The other guy asked, "Why are you crying?" The first one replied, "I came here for blood test." The second one asked, "So? Why are you crying? Are you afraid?" The first guy replied, "No. Not that. During the blood test they cut my finger." Hearing this, the second one started crying. The first one was astonished and asked the other, "Why are you crying?" Then the second guy replied, "I have come for a urine test." shyc 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted June 23, 2025 Posted June 23, 2025 Joke: A man walks into a pharmacy an... A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. The sales girl says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?" He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's so-o-o much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own... so does she." yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted June 24, 2025 Posted June 24, 2025 Joke: Half drunk A man comes home from a night of drinking. As he falls through the doorway, his wife snaps at him: "What's the big idea coming home half drunk?" The man replies: "I'm sorry, honey. I ran out of money." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted June 24, 2025 Posted June 24, 2025 Joke: Complete and Finished There is a subtle but important difference between the words "complete" and "finished." When you marry the right one, you are complete. When you marry the wrong one, you are finished. And if the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are completely finished. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted June 24, 2025 Posted June 24, 2025 Joke: Overboard The banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat. The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, “Can you float alone?” “Obviously,” the banker replied, “but this is a heck of a time to talk business.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted June 24, 2025 Posted June 24, 2025 Joke: Piano Tuner Visit The doorbell rang and the lady of the house discovered a workman, complete with tool chest, on the front door. “Lady,” he announced, “I’m the piano tuner.” The lady exclaimed, “Why, I didn’t send for a piano tuner.” The man replied, “I know, but your neighbours did.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted June 25, 2025 Posted June 25, 2025 Joke: Getting Into Fights They were married, but since the argument they had a few days earlier, they hadn't been talking to each other. Instead, they were giving each other written notes. One evening he gave her a paper where it said: "Wake me up tomorrow morning at 6 am." The next morning, he woke up and saw that it was 9 o'clock. Naturally he got very angry, but as he turned around he found a note on his pillow saying: "Wake up, it's 6 o'clock!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted June 25, 2025 Posted June 25, 2025 Joke: Fat free.... I stopped at a fast-food restaurant recently. I was fascinated by a sign which offered Fat-Free French Fries. I decided to give them a try. I was dismayed when the clerk pulled a basket of fries from the fryer, which was dripping with fat. He filled a bag with these fries and put them in my order. "Just a minute!" I said. "Those aren't fat-free." "Yes, they are. We only charge for the potatoes . . . the fat is free!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted June 25, 2025 Posted June 25, 2025 Joke: Fool in love... After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted June 25, 2025 Posted June 25, 2025 Joke: Traffic circle Ditzy friend to another: "I failed the driving test. I entered the traffic circle and the sign said '30 mph' so I drove 30 times around." The other friend responds sympathetically, "You probably counted wrong." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted June 26, 2025 Posted June 26, 2025 Joke: Office Hours When I became a licensed chiropractor, I moved back to my hometown and soon had a thriving practice. One morning I saw a new patient whom I recognized as my old high school principal. "Gee," I said nervously, "I’m a little surprised to see you here." "Why?" he replied. "You certainly spent a great deal of time in my office." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted June 26, 2025 Posted June 26, 2025 Joke: Happiest day of your life... Congratulations my boy!" said the groom's uncle. "I'm sure you'll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life." "But I'm not getting married until tomorrow." Protested his nephew. "I know," replied the uncle. "That's exactly what I mean." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted June 26, 2025 Posted June 26, 2025 Joke: But officer... A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer." the man began, "I can explain". "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back..." "But officer, I just wanted to say...." "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!" A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted June 26, 2025 Posted June 26, 2025 Joke: A policeman's eyes A policeman pulls a man over. "Sir," he says, "I noticed that your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" "Officer," responds the man, "I noticed that your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?" yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted June 27, 2025 Posted June 27, 2025 Joke: Switching channels An old married couple was at home watching TV. The husband had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel. The wife became more and more annoyed and finally said: "For goodness sake! Leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted June 27, 2025 Posted June 27, 2025 Joke: A kiss a yard... Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only a kiss a yard, " replied the smirking male clerk. "That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. "Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted June 27, 2025 Posted June 27, 2025 Joke: A trip to the dentist... A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. "I'm shocked!" she complained. "This is three times what you normally charge." "Yes, I know," said the dentist. "But you screamed so loudly, you scared away two other patients." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted June 27, 2025 Posted June 27, 2025 Joke: Confident and confidential Son - "Dad what’s the difference between confident and confidential?" Dad - "Hmm. You are my son. Of that I am confident. Your friend Timmy is also my son. That's confidential." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 9, 2025 Posted July 9, 2025 Joke: Tell The Whole Truth Mr. Dewey was briefing his client, who was about to testify in his own defence. "You must swear to tell the complete truth. Do you understand?" The client replied that he did. Then lawyer then asked, "Do you know what will happen if you don't tell the truth?" The client looked back and said, "I imagine that our side will win." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 9, 2025 Posted July 9, 2025 Joke: A policeman pulled a car over... A policeman pulled a car over and told the driver he had won $5,000 dollars in the seatbelt competition. "What are you going to do with the money?" asked the policeman. "Well, I guess I'm going to get a drivers license," he answered. "Oh, don't listen to him," said a woman in the passenger seat, "He's a smart aleck when he's drunk." Then the guy in the backseat said, "I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car." At that moment there was a knock from the trunk and a voice said, "Are we over the border yet?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 9, 2025 Posted July 9, 2025 Joke: Five-year old Little Johnny was... Five-year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!" The policeman said, "What's he like?" Little Johnny replied, "Beer and women!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 9, 2025 Posted July 9, 2025 Joke: A man asks his wife... A man asks his wife, "What would you do if I won the lottery?" His wife says, "Take half and leave your ass!" The man replies, "Great! I won 12 bucks, here is six, now get out!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 10, 2025 Posted July 10, 2025 Joke: The Shopping Criminal It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant. "That's no offense", said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?" "Before the store opened." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 10, 2025 Posted July 10, 2025 Joke: Pulling the fur over his eyes... A fella was saying to his friend, "My wife seems to have developed some sort of fixation that her collection of fur coats will be stolen. When I came home early one day last week, I found she'd hired someone to *guard* them! In fact, she stationed the poor guy right inside the closet!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 10, 2025 Posted July 10, 2025 Joke: A Temperamental Couple My wife and I are a temperamental couple... I’ve got a temper and she’s mental. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 10, 2025 Posted July 10, 2025 Joke: A Moral Question One man said to another, "I didn't sleep with my wife before I got married. How about you?" The man replied, "I don't know. What was her maiden name?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 11, 2025 Posted July 11, 2025 Joke: A young lady came home from a ... A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Jeff proposed to me an hour ago." "Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked. "Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a hell." Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 11, 2025 Posted July 11, 2025 Joke: A man entered the bus with both... A man entered the bus with both of his front pants pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls". Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked. "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 11, 2025 Posted July 11, 2025 Joke: Good grades... The little boy wasn't getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said... "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't get better grades.... somebody is going to get a spanking....". Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 11, 2025 Posted July 11, 2025 Joke: Cured A woman went to doctor's office for her annual examination. Suddenly, another older doctor noticed her burst out of the examination room, screaming as she ran down the hall. He stopped the hysterical woman and asked her to sit down and relax. Then, he asked her what she was so upset about. A few minutes later, the older doctor marched back to the woman's doctor and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children, and seven grandchildren... and you told her she was pregnant?" The woman's doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his clipboard, "Cured her hiccups though, didn't I?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 12, 2025 Posted July 12, 2025 Joke: A motorist caught by a speed camera ... A motorist caught by a speed camera received notification of a fine in the mail, plus a picture of his vehicle. Duly impressed, he sent back the notification along with a photo of a $100 note to pay the fine. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 12, 2025 Posted July 12, 2025 Joke: Not saying a word without my lawyer I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present. Cop: You are the lawyer. Lawyer: Exactly, so where’s my present? Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 12, 2025 Posted July 12, 2025 Joke: Photographic Evidence A customer walked up to my bank window and asked me to cash a check. “Of course,” I said. “But I’ll need to see ID.” She dug though her purse and handed me a snapshot. “That’s me in the middle,” she said. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 12, 2025 Posted July 12, 2025 Joke: No Wool Downstairs A husky foreigner, looking for sex, accepted a prostitute's terms. When she undressed, he noticed that she had no pubic hair. The man shouted, "What, no wool? In my country all women have wool down there." The prostitute snapped back, "What do you want to do, knit or have sex?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 13, 2025 Posted July 13, 2025 Joke: Two old drunks Two old drunks were lapping them up at a bar. The first one says, "Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with both hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard. By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand." "So", says the second drunk, "What's yer point?" "Well", says the first, "I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 13, 2025 Posted July 13, 2025 Joke: Tetanus Shot The old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, "Where are you going?" He replies, "I'm going to the doctor." She says, "Why, are you sick?" He says, "Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra stuff." Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of her rocker and begins to put on her coat. He says, "Where the hell are you going"? She answers, "I'm going to the doctor, too." He says, "Why, what do you need?" She says, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm getting a tetanus shot Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 13, 2025 Posted July 13, 2025 Joke: Guy walks into a bar ... Guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under arm. Says to the bartender: "I’ll take a beer, and one for the road." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 13, 2025 Posted July 13, 2025 Joke: A Doctor while examining an... A Doctor while examining an old retired Army veteran, "when was the last time you had sex?" With a long pause the vet replies: "1955 I believe." Doctor: "Whoa! It’s been a long while then?" Veteran: Its only 20:15 right now? Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 14, 2025 Posted July 14, 2025 Joke: Three men were discussing at a... Three men were discussing at a bar about coincidences. The first man said, " my wife was reading a "tale of two cities" and she gave birth to twins" "That’s funny", the second man remarked, "my wife was reading 'the three musketeers' and she gave birth to triplets" The third man shouted, "Good God, I have to rush home!" When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, " When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali baba and the forty Thieves"!!! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 14, 2025 Posted July 14, 2025 Joke: A man runs to the doctor and says... A man runs to the doctor and says: "Doctor, you've got to help me. My wife thinks she's a chicken!" The doctor asks: How long was she had this condition?" "Two years." replies the man. "Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?" asked the doctor. The man shrugs his shoulders and replies: "We needed the eggs" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 14, 2025 Posted July 14, 2025 Joke: To soon to tell? The morning after their honeymoon night, the wife says to her husband, "you know, You're really a lousy lover!" The husband replies, "How would you know after only 30 seconds?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 14, 2025 Posted July 14, 2025 Joke: Good news and bad news A woman phones up her husband at work for a chat. HIM "I'm sorry dear but I'm up to my neck in work today." HER "But I've got some good news and some bad news for you dear." HIM "OK darling, but as I've got no time now, just give me the good news." HER "Well, the air bag works." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 16, 2025 Posted July 16, 2025 Joke: Insomnia A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination but found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him. "Listen,” the doctor said, “if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your troubles to bed with you." "I know," said the man, "but I can't. My wife refuses to sleep alone." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 16, 2025 Posted July 16, 2025 Joke: My memory An agitated patient was stomping around the psychiatrist's office, running his hands through his hair, almost in tears. "Doctor, my memory's gone. Gone! I can't remember my wife's name. Can't remember my children's names. Can't remember what kind of car I drive. Can't remember where I work. It was all I could do to find my way here." "Calm down. How long have you been like this?" "Like what?" yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted July 16, 2025 Posted July 16, 2025 Joke: Specimen Bottle Steve had been in the hospital for days. His nurse was extremely annoying and he couldn't take much more. One day during breakfast, he took his apple juice container and used poured it into a urine specimen cup the nurse had insisted he fill. The nurse came in to check on him and looked at the specimen glass. In her annoying voice, she snickered, "It seems we are a little cloudy today." Steve put on his angry face, snatched the bottle out of her hand and drank it down in a few quick gulps, saying, "Well, I'll run it through again and maybe it will come out clearer this time." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
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