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8 hours ago, singalion said:

 

Wouldn't be that extreme.

 

 

Note that I wrote " a stranger ".    That is, a person one sees for the first time outside the door of one's home.  Not that extreme is to first meet the person,  in a gay bar, sauna, gym, etc.,  and then if there is interest and he inspires confidence, invite the guy to your home.

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On 5/22/2025 at 3:33 AM, Steve5380 said:

 

Note that I wrote " a stranger ".    That is, a person one sees for the first time outside the door of one's home.  Not that extreme is to first meet the person,  in a gay bar, sauna, gym, etc.,  and then if there is interest and he inspires confidence, invite the guy to your home.

It’s a gamble either way. You could meet someone in a public place once, twice, many times, and think, ok he seems legit so let’s go back to my place. And then something like this happens. The robber could play the long game as long as he gets what he wants. So the extreme case would be not to meet anyone at home at all, or as someone else said, go to a sauna. But not everyone is willing or likes going to a sauna, so there’s that.

 

The point is, there’s always a risk one way or the other. I usually go with my gut feeling, and turn down a hook up even if the guy is really hot (which happened during a recent holiday cos something felt off).

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1 hour ago, youdoyou said:

It’s a gamble either way. You could meet someone in a public place once, twice, many times, and think, ok he seems legit so let’s go back to my place. And then something like this happens. The robber could play the long game as long as he gets what he wants. So the extreme case would be not to meet anyone at home at all, or as someone else said, go to a sauna. But not everyone is willing or likes going to a sauna, so there’s that.

 

The point is, there’s always a risk one way or the other. I usually go with my gut feeling, and turn down a hook up even if the guy is really hot (which happened during a recent holiday cos something felt off).

 

You are right that the risk never goes completely away.   But it is lower if we first get an in person knowledge of the guy. 

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