How To Tell Top Or Btm Or Flex ? (Compiled)

[Guest Guest]

this topic has been discussed before.

sometimes it is just easy to tell. but sometimes u might just get it wrong.

dun assume, assumption can fail u. either ask or experience for yourself.

[Guest KL Dome]

Many are not interested in doing anal penetration. Not exactly top or bottom, is there a term?

[mango_juice]

  On 1/29/2012 at 8:41 AM, KL Dome said:

Many are not interested in doing anal penetration. Not exactly top or bottom, is there a term?

This is a top? Only doesn't inserts his tool into asses but fxxks mouths, hands, everything..

[alekzand]

have you ever thought of the simple task of asking that person?

[Phil]

  On 1/29/2012 at 1:20 PM, alekzand said:

have you ever thought of the simple task of asking that person?

Quite right!

We should start by that!

[doncoin]

Top, bottom, versatile... it is all just semantics. Why be so caught up in the label and limit the possibilities?

[Guest Guest]

  On 1/29/2012 at 1:20 PM, alekzand said:

have you ever thought of the simple task of asking that person?

I Consider that to be rude for someone to be so blunt. If he is not my type, I'll say I'm top.

If he is my type, I'll ask him back.

The reason people don't ask is because if the target gets offended, he'll slip away. But if you wait till you get to bed and got the wrong polarity, least you got to touch or maybe get a hand job.

[Guest top bottom versatile]

  On 1/29/2012 at 6:37 PM, Guest said:

I Consider that to be rude for someone to be so blunt. If he is not my type, I'll say I'm top. If he is my type, I'll ask him back. The reason people don't ask is because if the target gets offended, he'll slip away. But if you wait till you get to bed and got the wrong polarity, least you got to touch or maybe get a hand job.

I think it depends when that question is asked. Could be construed as rude when it is a pick up line, but ok if you are both already in bed and about to proceed.

I don't think we can always tell from profile pics because when I go to sites like dudesnude, I find those who label themselves as top using their butts as profile pics and those who label themselves as bottoms, have cock pics as their profile. Salah marketing.

[imchaser]

  On 1/29/2012 at 8:41 AM, KL Dome said:

Many are not interested in doing anal penetration. Not exactly top or bottom, is there a term?

When people ask u top or bottom, u just say neither.

[alien]

Thought i rem someone said before, if the guy being fxxk and his dick stay rod hard, he is btm, if dick goes soft then he is top! Hahaha.

[Blender88]

  On 2/1/2012 at 1:11 PM, alien said:

Thought i rem someone said before, if the guy being fxxk and his dick stay rod hard, he is btm, if dick goes soft then he is top! Hahaha.

That seems to be logical but I dun think it is accurate.

As a top I often found that bottom guys who stay soft during fxxks are often the ones who enjoy it most.

I think its because most of their sensitivity to pleasure is in the ass.

Some tops definitely have most sensitivity to pleasure in their cocks - and often very little STP in their ass.

Just my own theory...

[alien]

  On 2/3/2012 at 1:42 PM, Blender88 said:

That seems to be logical but I dun think it is accurate.

As a top I often found that bottom guys who stay soft during fxxks are often the ones who enjoy it most.

I think its because most of their sensitivity to pleasure is in the ass.

Some tops definitely have most sensitivity to pleasure in their cocks - and often very little STP in their ass.

Just my own theory...

In tis case shld be the opp liao, top dick got hard being fxxk and btm dick goes soft while being fxxk.

[Guest Guest]

Not sure anyone notice some guys in sauna purposely fold their towel to make it shorter. My encounter with these guys wearing shorter towel are mostly though not all are bottom. Is this a kind of hint to tell others they are bottom? My gaydar sometimes doesn't function well. Is there other ways to tell the other party is a bottom before proceed to the room.

[Kinks86]

got! jus ask "eh, u btm?" lol

but like kinda rude sia..

[GachiMuchi]

  On 4/13/2012 at 4:08 PM, Kinks86 said:

got! jus ask "eh, u btm?" lol

but like kinda rude sia..

It's not rude to ask if someone is btm.

Anyway, most of the time, don't even need to ask. I can already guess if they are top or btm.

Usually for me, I will ask those I am not too sure, the following :

"I am top. You bottom?"

"I am top. You?"

"Bottom?"

Or I just grab them into the next available room. Waste time ask too much.

[ashleym]

if sex wise. need ask.. but i think if char wise can tell easily.. usually the passive(for character wise not sex role), is the more "girly" in the r/s..

[SwimVibe]

i think its better if you can just ask. I seldom approach people but that doesnt make me a btm. If you see an eye candie that you like, just approach and slightly see his reaction, if he doesn't move away or turn to face others, means you are not his cup of tea. If it clicks, then proceed to ask for details.

[acidtongue]

  On 4/13/2012 at 4:08 PM, Kinks86 said:

got! jus ask "eh, u btm?" lol but like kinda rude sia..

I dont think its rude either.

but this is also why i like nude nights cos u dont even need to ask. sometimes when im really horny, especially when i'm working out at the sauna gym, and get a raging hard on, btms will come forth and suck me right in front of everyone, though those tend to be the more desparate n less cute ones. i'll just push them away n continue with my work out. hahah

[Septbibi]

How to define top/bottom/flex?

I'm always play the 'gf' role when in a relationship. But when comes to sex, I'm the top..

So what am I?

[Guest Ironrod]

  On 11/8/2012 at 3:31 PM, Septbibi said:

How to define top/bottom/flex?

I'm always play the 'gf' role when in a relationship. But when comes to sex, I'm the top..

So what am I?

You already answered yourself.

You are a TOP. Who cares what role u play in a r/s.

When ppl talk abt top/btm/flex - they are asking u do in bed.

BTW what is a "gf" in the r/s?

[Upthere]

@TS I guess you're what I would label as a passive top.

[evianguy]

Top/btm/flex are labels of sexual roles. You've already identified yours.

How would a 'gf' role in a relationship be marked? Letting the 'bf' do all the heavy lifting? Open doors for you? Pull out chairs for you? Pay for your expenses?

[Shiroi_Ryuu]

  On 11/9/2012 at 1:26 AM, evianguy said:

Top/btm/flex are labels of sexual roles. You've already identified yours.

Agreed with evianguy, Top/btm/flex are labels of sexual roles on bed with.

When comes to R/S, it doesn't matter who play BF/GF or Husband/Wife. Both parties need love, care and concern. so such actually doesn't matter much.

Anyway, why must have so much labels?? You are in R/S with your partner, not the whole world.

[Septbibi]

Thanks for all replies, understand top/bottom/flex is referring to be role now.

Broke up two years ago, when some guys ask me whether I'm top/bottom/flex, I couldn't really answer them.

As for my case, when my ex approach me, he's kind of like straight looking type, and he assume I'm bottom as I'm more 'soft'(not sissy I suppose) compared to him. He treated me like I'm a girl but when comes to bed, I don't like him to top me. He felt a upset and says he treated me like his 'gf' but when bed he's my 'gf' which makes him felt imbalance.

Anyone has similar case? Or I'm the weird one?

[undies87]

zzz

Edited June 22, 2013 by undies87

[Guest Guest]

My friend is big, tall muscular, hairy & good looking. But deep down he is a bottom who does the Kangnam Style in the bedroom. He has a lot of admirers but they are all bottoms.

Frustrated of wasting much time to get hook up, he decided to be more proactive.

He was attracted to a 1.5m guy who's a top when he was at &*)&(*.

He went up to him & said "Hi, how are you, I am a bottom."

The short guy smirked & said " Yah, sure.", then walked away.

My friend was left flabbergasted.

[Guest topee]

Despite telling some tops in sauna that i am top when approached, yet those tops wanted to top me.

[Guest HL]

Even though I am a btm, doesn't mean I will be fucked by any top.

There may be some btm who are desperate. They don't mind being asked directly. But for me, it's rude to ask me directly. This is similar to asking btm to wear white bands. Only the few desperate btm will be wearing. The rest of us who are better market value prefer to be wooed.

Especially for us who are masculine looking, I get people fondling my dick most of the time and I won't tell him that he got me wrong. If he asked, I'll tell him I am top. After all those nasty jokes about more masculine looking, the majority are btms, I prefer to go back empty handed then to be insulted.

I have plenty of admirers and enough men will bang me as soon as I open my legs. I go to saunas to look for quality, not quantity. I am an alpha btm. Seriously, those who think they are alpha top but are not good looking, will only appeal to desperate btm.

But despite having all the sex I needed, sometimes I go saunas for something different or surprisingly unexpected. Maybe for variety, maybe for kinky public orgy, maybe to flaunt it just to show off. I don't really know and play it by the mood.

Like recently,this good looking guy stalked me and we played look see for a while. Till finally, I thought he is a top and I revealed my submission by going into the room first. Imagine my surprise, he just walked by the door and didn't come in. Very humiliating to me.

I left the room,he was standing at the dim corner looking at me. Bloody hell, now I knew what he wanted. To play his game or not, I hesitated. I looked around,there's only one chubby and one uncle around, all trying to hook me instead of him.

The uncle was most aggressive,he came and I let him pull off my towel. I wanted good looking guy to be jealous, I even let him finger me. Chubby guy quickly smell opportunities and move in to suck me.

When the uncle C bended me over and rimmed my ass, I resisted a little and hoped that bloody good looking guy A would rescue me before it is too late. He didn't, and I in a fit of anger voluntarily braced my hands on the wall, spread my legs wide for the uncle to rim me. His rimming was damn good and got me wet and ready.

Then, would you believe it, he whispered to the chubby to fuck me because he himself is also a 0. The biggest humiliation was that chubby said he didn't know I was a btm or else he wouldn't waste his bullets on someone else just now. Then he said,"but he looked so man what, I also never thought he like that one". Uncle C more nasty, "u don't know meh, more man looking is more chances is btm"

I had to push chubby fingers away from digging my ass and bending down to pick up my towel, I saw A walking over. I was too angry to care anymore, I wrapped my towel. But the chubby and the uncle immediately sensed there will be free show soon, they pulled at my towel to stop me. Unconsciously or intentionally, I let the towel dropped when he was near.

The uncle spread my legs, the chubby braced my hands on the wall, A fingered my ass to check it was well lubed. Chubby handed him a condom, A put it on and uncle was at my goal guiding him to score. As he pumped me slowly, I looked down to find that uncle literally with his nose at my action zone.

I had done that before too so it was humiliating that he can literally hear,see and smell me getting fucked. When A picked up the pace and slammed into me, I was dripping pre-cum on uncle's hair.

A tried to turn me around but I was too humiliated to turn and see their faces, I prefer to see the wall. A gave up and slammed me harder till he finally cummed. I haven't cummed and when A's cock literally popped his still hard cock out of ass, the sound was so loud, everbody laughed.

Uncle said A pumped so much air into me that the pressure make the pop loud like balloon pop. Before I could catch my breath, chubby already mounted me. He was surprisingly strong when his hands pinned me to the wall. I could feel his soft tummy on my back that slowed him down, he was more gentle. But his cock went soft and dropped out.

I was about to straighten up to leave when I felt fingers in my hole massaging my g-spot. As I was already stimulated by 2 fucks, I was close to cumming and needed only a little more to cum. I looked down, it was uncle who got the experience to play my ass. It was not simply finger fucking, his finger was rubbing my prostate and his other hand was massaging my balls. Immediately I recognized that he was experienced in Chinese anal massage because I tried that before in China.

Shamelessly, I asked him if this is anal massage. He laughed and said I know what to do or not. Shamelessly again, I went into the room,laid on my back, lifted my legs wide open. They all came inside and bloody chubby played my nipples,while uncle gave me a slow yet powerful anal massage that included the meridian points on my groins, thighs and even my feet.

He was so good that he brought me to the brink and yet I couldn't cum except moaned like crazy. He shaked his head and told me that I have a lan tou hua life (濫 桃花命). Heaven made me to serve men with my body. Today, I am serving him even though I like the other two men more than him. With that said, he showed us his 3inches little cock that was now hard. When he entered me,it was no feeling at all.

But with only a few jabs, I felt his cock hit my g-spot in continuation of what his fingers did. Only this time, he brought me to the edge and I auto cummed like a whore in moaning so loud. It was one of my best sex like the one in China.

The other two watched in amazement. A praised C for his kungfu but C said, A was actually meant to be my husband tonight. But because I played hard to get, he took the chance to steal me. It was all my 濫桃花。 He told chubby that if he wanted,he could still fuck this濫桃花 because it is my fate. Again chubby mounted me missionary, but he softened again and slipped off. C said he and I are not八字 compatible.

C said that A is compatible so we should be a pair. But A said he already had a bf. C said that is why my life is 濫桃花，I can only be小三 or 小王 to another man. Or I can only have a peaceful life if I choose an ugly or poor husband to鎮壓你的桃花淫鳳穴。

Of course I don't agree but he even mentioned that in China, I also met an old uncle who fuck me, right? at the park, was I gang raped by the 3 人民工 when one of them seduced me like A just did. My life was always this way until I choose to be faithful to one man.

[HydroNaut]

I went to a HK sauna, and that sauna has a Chart of how to wear your keylock over your hands and legs to differentiate your sexual roles.

Think if you wear it on your Left Hands - You are Top, Right Hand - Flex, Left Leg - Bottom.

 

It is a good way as it serve all the trouble of guessing what roles the other person is.

[HydroNaut]

  On 6/22/2013 at 11:14 AM, Guest said:

My friend is big, tall muscular, hairy & good looking. But deep down he is a bottom who does the Kangnam Style in the bedroom. He has a lot of admirers but they are all bottoms.

Frustrated of wasting much time to get hook up, he decided to be more proactive.

He was attracted to a 1.5m guy who's a top when he was at &*)&(*.

He went up to him & said "Hi, how are you, I am a bottom."

The short guy smirked & said " Yah, sure.", then walked away.

My friend was left flabbergasted.

 

 

That is real funny....

Talking about it, I have a friend who is a top....but he got a very strange sex preference. He like to top bottom who have large dicks.

I guess he find the thrills/excitment and satisfactions of subduing a "dragon".   

[lovehandle]

  On 6/25/2013 at 4:54 AM, HydroNaut said:

I went to a HK sauna, and that sauna has a Chart of how to wear your keylock over your hands and legs to differentiate your sexual roles.

Think if you wear it on your Left Hands - You are Top, Right Hand - Flex, Left Leg - Bottom.

 

It is a good way as it serve all the trouble of guessing what roles the other person is.

Japan is not quite the same, left is btm（though i know people tend to associate 男左女右, but all gays are males）, right hand is for top, flex is at legs

[mijsdlog]

  On 6/25/2013 at 4:54 AM, HydroNaut said:

I went to a HK sauna, and that sauna has a Chart of how to wear your keylock over your hands and legs to differentiate your sexual roles.

Think if you wear it on your Left Hands - You are Top, Right Hand - Flex, Left Leg - Bottom.

 

It is a good way as it serve all the trouble of guessing what roles the other person is.

I saw recently at Aniki (Taipei) a sign in one of the toilet cubicles indicating that bottoms should wear their key straps on the right hand while tops should wear theirs on the left hand.

[hardache]

Hi everyone,

Wanna ask how you guys came to know what sorta role you play in sex?

Was it

1) an instinctual thing, something u felt is the case, even before actually engaging in any fuck

2) through trying both roles

Never fucked, and always feel stressed whenever people ask if I'm top/bottom.

Thanks for your inputs!

[Guest]

Me too....

[onlylonely]

Try and find out which work for you

[iceman76]

well..when u watche gay porn,ask yourself which of the guy you prefer to be?..top or btm..?

[hardache]

Hmm... I think I'd prefer to be top.

Having said that, I wonder if I'm bottom cos I enjoy people sliding their oil-slicked fingers in between my ass cheeks and having my nipples played with :/

[iamziz]

You sound like a very young man. You don't need to answer to any of those questions yet. You need to be comfortable with yourself. When you are ready to explore sex with someone, then that session might help you to understand yourself better. 

[ZealousZeno]

lol somehow i stereotype myself to be a bottom with my build even though I nvr tried anything yet. My build have people thinking that I am a bottom guess it have some mind manipulation. 

[iamziz]

There are many who have not had been fucked or fucked yet they label themselves bixesuals. And most have not even had sexual encounters or kissed any girls yet. Playing safe with labels?

[Guest Guest]

sometimes the looksc can tell and stereotypes too

some people confuse me for a top and tops seem ultra happy when i reveal i am btm

[Guest teatree]

If he stands behind you, he is top.

If he stands infront of you, he is bottom.

If he stands beside you, he is confused.

[cutejack]

Hahahaaha...i thought sanding bhind meaning q ,standing infront means cut q n beside means 2by2.lol.anyway good explanation teatree.lol

[Guest Guest]

  On 9/9/2015 at 1:15 PM, hardache said:

Hi everyone,

Wanna ask how you guys came to know what sorta role you play in sex?

Was it

1) an instinctual thing, something u felt is the case, even before actually engaging in any fuck

2) through trying both roles

Never fucked, and always feel stressed whenever people ask if I'm top/bottom.

Thanks for your inputs!

You need to do it then you know which role you like.

[hardache]

  On 9/9/2015 at 1:40 PM, iamziz said:

You sound like a very young man. You don't need to answer to any of those questions yet. You need to be comfortable with yourself. When you are ready to explore sex with someone, then that session might help you to understand yourself better.

I guess I'm insecure cos guys who aren't even 20 yet seem dead certain what they are, and I'm like -.-

 

  On 9/9/2015 at 2:18 PM, ZealousZeno said:

lol somehow i stereotype myself to be a bottom with my build even though I nvr tried anything yet. My build have people thinking that I am a bottom guess it have some mind manipulation.

So did the stereotyping lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy?

[ZealousZeno]

  On 9/10/2015 at 9:54 AM, hardache said:

I guess I'm insecure cos guys who aren't even 20 yet seem dead certain what they are, and I'm like -.-

 

So did the stereotyping lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy?

 

Haha still new to this, I guess the prophecy have not been foretold yet. I guess I will leave it to fate on where I land.

[hardache]

  On 9/10/2015 at 3:10 PM, ZealousZeno said:

Haha still new to this, I guess the prophecy have not been foretold yet. I guess I will leave it to fate on where I land.

You've got the power to determine your own fate

[lightsmith32]

  On 9/9/2015 at 2:21 PM, iamziz said:

There are many who have not had been fucked or fucked yet they label themselves bixesuals. And most have not even had sexual encounters or kissed any girls yet. Playing safe with labels?

nice 1.

[Guest hellogoodbye]

It's written on their face.

[Guest Guest]

Some are neither here nor there, those that are not into anal sex, so hard to tell.