Falling For An Attached Guy

[Guest Emoboy]

About a year ago, I got to know this guy (who was single back then) on a gay dating app. We chatted almost everyday for a few weeks and gradually, I felt something special for him. To my dismay, he got attached after getting to know him for a few weeks. 

 

So yeah, I was dejected and very emotional after that. Eventually, I confessed to him as I couldn't resist hiding my feelings anymore and also assured him that I won't come in between them. 

Over the past year, we have been chatting almost daily on WhatsApp, going out occasionally as friends and also gaming together. Despite happy moments like this, there were times I felt so jealous of his bf and it simply got very hurtful and awkward whenever I harp on and emo about how unfortunate I am to have lost him to another guy. Sometimes, it became so bad that he threatened to put an end to our friendship if I carried on like that. Thankfully (for his patience), things didn't end up awfully and we are still friends.

 

According to him, he likes me only as a friend. I know that it is wrong to be a 3rd party but I truly believe that my love for him is real, from the interactions with him and my understanding of him over the past year. Because of this, I often undergo mood swings whenever I think and imagine things about him and his bf, and whenever he ignores my messages. Sometimes, it got so bad that I felt suicidal and had no mood for anything else. 

 

I am determined to have him as my first and last bf, even if I have to wait an entire lifetime for him.

 

I wonder if anyone has faced the same problems as I do? And if so, how did you handle it?

[Guest guest]

one sided love.. As if the world  only got  ONE man  on earth. Love hurts.

[Derick Jonasson Lee]

Well I believed it was rather obvious to him that you liked him since the start. Our situation can be rather similar just that the guy I liked before is seeing someone else weeks after we talked. I dont know why but I think he did suspected that I liked him, maybe because I was too obvious, okay I mean silly. Then one fine day he text me to asked about our relationship. I felt he wanted to clear things out. I then told him that we have always been good friends. After a short while I confessed to him only then realizing he is seeing someone else which I did not expect at all. But dude trust me, you said he ignored your message, he might be busy with his work and stuff. And even not, It is normal okay maybe not to put your date or partner on top priority. It's not good being a 3rd party though, just stay by him and give him emotional support when he needs it and continue being his best friend. Because one day who knows that your sincerity or whatsoever might touched him. But after all you claim you love him, I ain't so sure about it but loving someone means seeing him get his happiness aye! 

[Silveriot]

falling for an attached gay guy is much much much better than falling for a straight guy.

[Guest Guest]

falling for an attached gay guy is much much much better than falling for a straight guy.

 

You are so right.  For some reason, the supposedly "straight" men would always fall for me and I would too, fall for them!  My first bf was with this guy who approached me, gave me his number in a mall and we were together till I found out that he was fucking another woman behind my back!  (My first kiss and first suck)  He told me he was straight!  WTF!  He broke my heart!

 

The second was with this very attractive guy who touched me here and there everytime we met and I loved him (or so I thought and I wanted something more) He always gave me signals that he wanted to be with me but eventually he got hitched to a woman!  Broke my heart again!

 

Another was what I thought he was going to be my one and only, we dated, kissed and hugged but I didnt go all the way.  Not even a blowjob as I wanted this to be true for me. We dated for 6 months and one day, I called his home as he did not answer my calls to his mobile.  A child answered and told me his father was not in!!!!!!!  I was frozen on the spot.  I was all along with a liar!  WTF!  I confronted him and asked to break off.  He cried so much and begged me to stay.  The next two days, he made me very happy and I gave him sex.  The day after, he completely ignored me!  That bastard!  Now I know what he was up to!  He cried because he did not have me for sex YET and after he did, he just cast me aside and needless to say, we broke up.

 

There must be something wrong with me.  The guys who are always after me are "straights" or married men.  WTF! 

[RockyPaul]

cant believe.. lol.. u r so lucky in a way...\

[ultimatey]

You are so right.  For some reason, the supposedly "straight" men would always fall for me and I would too, fall for them!  My first bf was with this guy who approached me, gave me his number in a mall and we were together till I found out that he was fucking another woman behind my back!  (My first kiss and first suck)  He told me he was straight!  WTF!  He broke my heart!

 

The second was with this very attractive guy who touched me here and there everytime we met and I loved him (or so I thought and I wanted something more) He always gave me signals that he wanted to be with me but eventually he got hitched to a woman!  Broke my heart again!

 

Another was what I thought he was going to be my one and only, we dated, kissed and hugged but I didnt go all the way.  Not even a blowjob as I wanted this to be true for me. We dated for 6 months and one day, I called his home as he did not answer my calls to his mobile.  A child answered and told me his father was not in!!!!!!!  I was frozen on the spot.  I was all along with a liar!  WTF!  I confronted him and asked to break off.  He cried so much and begged me to stay.  The next two days, he made me very happy and I gave him sex.  The day after, he completely ignored me!  That bastard!  Now I know what he was up to!  He cried because he did not have me for sex YET and after he did, he just cast me aside and needless to say, we broke up.

 

There must be something wrong with me.  The guys who are always after me are "straights" or married men.  WTF! 

 

Woah this must have been very painful to endure emotionally.

 

 

However, I believe crushing on str8s is okay, as long as you don't take it too far. I crush on a straight acquaintance of mine and occasionally whatsapp him. It never fails to make me happy, when compared to the bitchy drama that ajs give all day, had enough of those already.

I believe as long you're happy, and you know you're not falling too far it's okay.

 

I once liked an attached guy before too, but I didn't know he was attached. When I found out, it was a real crappy feeling. Confided in someone whom I thought was my friend then, but turned out he wasn't one (refer to above: bitchy drama).

[TheART]

Let's face it, his just not that into you.  

 

It happens, i know how it feel but you just got to get your act together and move on from where you are. stop talking to him that much and going out with him. Don't make yourself fall for something that you know it ain't gonna work out!

[Guest mel b]

Let's face it, his just not that into you.

 

It happens, i know how it feel but you just got to get your act together and move on from where you are. stop talking to him that much and going out with him. Don't make yourself fall for something that you know it ain't gonna work out!

 

 

Some people just love to be on the receiving end of grief and tears, they knoe it will not work out and yet they cling on. An they also do not believ in karma and receiving retribution,

 

If you are coveting someone who is attached, don;t cry when someone else try to lay your partner next time.

[Guest daddy]

I am determined to have him as my first and last bf, even if I have to wait an entire lifetime for him.

 

I wonder if anyone has faced the same problems as I do? And if so, how did you handle it?

 

Well if you want him, then do everything you can to get him. Don't just moan and feel victimized. You can be proactive. You know how some of these movies showing 2 guys fighting over a girl, and the one who really love her most and go all out to sacrifice and show it wins the girl. Wait? Why? Fight for what you want in life! If you want a job, do you sit and wait for it to be dropped onto your lap? No, you send in your CV and try to get their attention. That said, there are so many more fishes in the sea. Don't just get fixated in one person. You are still young. Cast your net far and wide. Make many many friends. And most importantly, enjoy the whole thing. Don't beat yourself up. Love yourself!

[Gray]

Make the mental preparation to lose a friend if you want to be like that.

[ivan558]

yes, it is a very delicate situation - not easy to find somebody whom you can love  so much ............  but is it all worth it (if he cannot reciprocate)  ? 

 

give it yr last shot to win him over, within a certain time frame n if he still prefers the other guy, then may be u should re-consider ......................

 

who knows, u may have overlooked another who is a better choice (love is blind, isn't it ?)

 

my best wishes   

[Guest guest]

just flash stack of Sing dollars maybe he will consider since u are successful, at least there is a comparison.

[Guest Emoboy]

yes, it is a very delicate situation - not easy to find somebody whom you can love  so much ............  but is it all worth it (if he cannot reciprocate)  ? 

 

give it yr last shot to win him over, within a certain time frame n if he still prefers the other guy, then may be u should re-consider ......................

 

who knows, u may have overlooked another who is a better choice (love is blind, isn't it ?)

 

my best wishes   

 

Well, I'm not exactly trying to win him over now because it would be wrong to do so. I can only wait till the time is ripe.

[Guest GUEST]

wat do u mean by when time is ripe? Go find some evidence that his present bf is betraying him , to get them seperated?

[ivan558]

Well, I'm not exactly trying to win him over now because it would be wrong to do so. I can only wait till the time is ripe.

 

yeah, i see, probably u have put in that much L for him - then it will be much agony in the meantime ................. 

 

while waiting, why not, expand yr social circle, get to know more friends, do some other things, etc. (besides contacting him) ..................and

 

may be miracle or something good happens .............

 

i can be yr friend if you wish

 

GOOD LUCK  !                        

[Guest Bitchy Slut]

wat do u mean by when time is ripe? Go find some evidence that his present bf is betraying him , to get them seperated?

yes, plant the evidence. get them to feel hurt and betrayed, then comfort him, be the good guy and steal him. after that must have the type of sex he likes, then drug his drinks and food. feed his ego and need for love. he will be yours! be ruthless, slutty, despicable and a complete asshole bitch! stalk him, call him, wait at his office, text him incessantly and never never give up you get what you want! Good luck. Keep us posted sister!

[samdiggin]

Yea..just happened to me too. Well, met him thru an app too. He was someone whose profile I kinda...kept going back to but didnt say a word because I wasn't sure. Until one day, he finally spoke to me and I was really happy. We talked really well for 3 weeks, occasionally flirting with each other. He would send me messages as and when and things got to the point we wanted to meet one night. Then suddenly, he said he couldnt turn up and from there things got rather awkward.

 

So after that night we were suppose to meet, he didnt message me at all. I didn't know what to say but I didnt want to just end so abruptly, as though the past 3 weeks were a dream. So I decided to message him and kinda find out what happened. So...it was alright then....but of course, things never went back to what they were (replies were shorter, no more flirting). It was during my exam revision period, so things were quite..distracting actually. It probably was the wrong time to have initiated the meetup I felt, and maybe things wouldnt have been sooo weird.

 

Ultimately, 2 weeks later, we were chatting still and I decided to ask if he did like someone and he said yes and was very apologetic to me. Right there, hmmm, I can't say I felt totally disappointed since it wasn't a sudden change in mood but I admit, I didn't know what to say. Then after a while I replied him and said that I understand where I stood in our relationship and we could still be friends of coz.

 

Time went by..and I still chat with him on and off. Until one day, he said he was single again. So...honestly, I was trying to move on but a part of me inside fluttered a bit. It was a mixed feeling actually. But perhaps more happy because at the very least, we could talk more normally, without the awkwardness. We have met up, and it was really nice. I don't know if anything will come out from this (yes i hope so) but I'm more happy to preserve the relationship at this level. It seems that he wants me to take more initiative though (and if you have any nice advice for me, do PM me haha)

Edited May 25, 2013 by birth_ave

[Guest Ironrod]

To TS and everyone else, when somebody says "According to him, he likes me only as a friend." - 99% chance he is not PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO YOU.

 

Check the mirror and get real? instead of being like TS keep emo and whine?

[rowdyboy]

Recently i met a guy over here and our first meeting was just chatting and nth else. Our 2nd meeting we started to touch each other but it didnt lead to anything. During my third we were just purely touching and nth else but i realise I really like him. I feel quite bad when we touch one another coz I really want to see him as a friend first and maybe proceed to a relationship.

The thing is during the third meeting, he told me he is actually talking with a guy for a few months already and they will start dating soon. I was so devasted when hearing that coz I thought something might come out between us. Met him up and told him how I feel and I dont knoq what to go from here now. During this 3 meetup i turn down a few of the people here (sorry) coz i just want to focus on him.

I dont know whether should i just wait now or be more proactive in wooing him but both of them are quite serious with one another. What Im confused now is why does he still want to meet with me when he already has a guy in his mind.

I dont even know whether should i still msg him cox i really dont want to irritate him when he and another guy is dating.

[samdiggin]

Recently i met a guy over here and our first meeting was just chatting and nth else. Our 2nd meeting we started to touch each other but it didnt lead to anything. During my third we were just purely touching and nth else but i realise I really like him. I feel quite bad when we touch one another coz I really want to see him as a friend first and maybe proceed to a relationship.

The thing is during the third meeting, he told me he is actually talking with a guy for a few months already and they will start dating soon. I was so devasted when hearing that coz I thought something might come out between us. Met him up and told him how I feel and I dont knoq what to go from here now. During this 3 meetup i turn down a few of the people here (sorry) coz i just want to focus on him.

I dont know whether should i just wait now or be more proactive in wooing him but both of them are quite serious with one another. What Im confused now is why does he still want to meet with me when he already has a guy in his mind.

I dont even know whether should i still msg him cox i really dont want to irritate him when he and another guy is dating.

totally understand what you're going through

it's so hard to know what's the right thing to do in such cases...haiz

[kennethhost]

I understand your feeling bro, but the best medicine is get a new one, then you will cure. hug hug

[rowdyboy]

Thanks! I guess all i can do is to wait or move on

[Guest Guest]

The trick is to date MULTIPLE persons but dont fuck with them...not even a blowjob!  Hugs.  Ive been there, done that!  Goodluck guys...and remember, there really is someone special out there for us, you just got to look for him!

[Butterscotch]

It seems like you are unable to withhold your feelings for him any longer. What I am suggesting will seem harsh, but I believe it is best if you avoid him for the time being, at least until you have come to terms that he belongs to someone else and you two will only be friends.