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Lungker Is Sick And Becoming Insane?


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Guest Guest_Lungker
Posted

Two things happened to me today. A friend that I like a lot called me a "stubborn old man" for not seeing a doctor about my flu, and another friend that I like a lot too, laughed too loudly when I invited him to my place for sex. :(

I am now, sitting at home ALONE, contemplating whether I should slit my wrists, or throw myself off my flat. :lol:

Just kidding....about the suicide part. Not kidding about the insults. I need a confidence booster. Now where can I go and buy that? Sometimes I wish we have male prostitutes in Singapore. So that thay can help us pretend we are charming, good looking and have a big cock, when in fact we anti-social, insecure and have a 3 inch dick.

I am feeling devilish tonight and since I have the flu and am woozy from heavily self medicating with probably all the wrong medicines I have left over from my other previous illnesses, I have the license to talk nonsense.

Recently I have been hanging out with some uncles (some horrible people call them aunties) from Feng Ling and Yellow House. Topic sometime drift to who is No. 1 and who is 0 (zero). For the uninformed, #1 is the top, the fxxker, while #0 is the bottom, or the one getting banged. And if you ask me what is a 10, I am going to bitch-slap you and demand you return your gay card! :wink:

What I have observed is people usually tell half truths and often outright lies when asked what is their "number".

This is Lungker's analysis of what people claimed and what is the real truth. I am sick so if you flame me you would actually help kill off some germs.

What they claimed.............................The real Truth

----------------------.............................----------------

0 (zero)............................................Insatiable bottom

Versatile or 10...................................Bottom 98% of the time.

1.......................................................50% bottom

Don't like anal sex..............................Don't mind u sitting on them

Shy to answer....................................100% bottom with a small dick

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I conclude there are not many real tops and way too many bottoms. A straight acting friend from Yellow House who is mostly a bottom joked the other day he caught a manly PLUs and they ended up in a hotel. At last it was not to be. That guy was also a bottom and it was hilarious when my friend described how both fellas were lying down with their legs up in the air waiting for the other party to assume the #1 role. I imagined 2 pair of legs in the air (envision synchronised swimming) and I laughed till my balls drop.

So what do you guys think? Do you think my brains is fried? Or am I totally half correct? :lol:

Guest kerbee10
Posted

:twisted:

Why bothered by them...you aer living your own life...not living for the sake of them......Just be confidence in yourself...dun let anyone spoil ur mood...U are born with a choice...be happy or unhappy...the world still spinning..dun waste time on unhappy things...

cheer up... :P

Guest Guest
Posted

Gay means there is attraction to men and want sex with him. The way is to he be man and you be woman for him to fxxk.

In Japan is shy for man to say he bottom also. But most men are bottom is true also. So many nice many ojisan in saunas want to be fxxked. Many poor straight Japanese men are very horny and female sex is very expensive. They go saunas and fxxk the salarymen like they go throw angry things. But the ojisan like rough it is. That is why sm video is popular. The video must show his flower hole be violated strongly.

Guest Guest_Lungker
Posted

The most confident men in the world.

My fever is now 40 defree centigrade so my brain is almost fried.

FYI, I am now mostly bottom, that is if I can even find someone willing to top me. Most men are smarter than that. They see me they run. But once a while, I find a top willing to do the job and mostly they turned out to have really small dicks. *sigh*

Why oh why do people with small dicks claimed they are #1? Ever come across these people? I think they must be the most confident people in the world. They should be senior statemen, corporate leaders, or insurance salesmen.

I often had to suppress my giggle and I do a good job doing that when I see their dick. I am laughing inside because I am wondering how is that 3 inches (6 cm) monster ever going to have the length to enter me? And forget about it hitting my prostate!!

So I lay back, open my legs and they try to push their small dick inside and I pretend that it is too big to get inside my manhole. But actually I was trying to make them feel they have a bigger dick than what they actually have. No point laughing at them in their face and making them lose their erection. Ever see a small dick deflated? Not a pretty sight.

So finally it gets in and I started moaning how shiok and how "song" when it really isn't. It is like sticking my little pinkie inside myself. Men with small dicks claiming to be #1 usually come quite quickly and very soon it was all over. They pulled out the condom to check the content (big deal! small dicks, huge load - hey I wasn't looking to be inpregnated!) before getting rid of it.

Bottom line. Beware of small men driving big cars with super egos to match. Chances are they are never over 3 inches long and like maggie mee, they are finished in 3 minutes.

Do share some of your hilarious sexapades.

Guest Guest
Posted

Lungker, i enjoy your writing. you tread on the thin line of being crass (your subject matter) and class (your writing style). I am absolutely new here, so here's my greeting to you. ;)

Guest Guest
Posted

The real question is: Where do you throw the condom after use?

Guest Guest_Lungker
Posted

Lungker is getting better so decided to BITCHSLAP OralB and Smoking Bear. Piak piak!

Oh shut up or else give me something else to suck on!

A nice fat human cigar will do fine. *smile & slurp* Who is volunteering?

Btw can a person smile and slurp at the same time? It's like, can someone suck and sing at the same time? Hmmmmmm.....the Enquirer needs to know.

I know an uncle who smokes and blew me at the same time. He sucked in a mouthful of smoke, blew me and puffed the smoke out. Like a human cigar. Now where the hell did I kept his number?

  • 6 years later...
Guest Guest in 2011
Posted

Wow, didn't know Lungker was such a colourful poster back in the good old days of BW. :thumb:

Posted

Wow, didn't know Lungker was such a colourful poster back in the good old days of BW. :thumb:

Something is seriously eerie.

I am presently just recovering from a ten days bout of flu - old man already so need longer time to recover, and somehow some smart alac managed to dig this thread out from way back from 2005 EVEN THOUGH our search function is not working. Interesting. Hmmm, is someone stalking me? :hat:

Ok, back to the original topic. Do you guys agree that numbers given (primarily from gays whose English is not their primary language of conversation) for sex roles are often not a clear relection of what they are when they finally get into bed?

Share your stories.

Be happy.

Please play safely! Use a condom if you are having anal sex.

Posted

Get well soon Lungker!

Btw, does Lungker stand for Lao Uncle? Just asking...

Posted

Lunker...

Not that old man need more time to recover...the Flu bug macham like super bug liao

Thanks to the abuse of anti biotics... :angry:

Try to seek help early....take tonics when its a mild cough...smoking does not help :yuk: ...kekeke

Sounding like a nenek :smokin:

Posted

Why are tops number one and why are bottoms nothing (#0)

Posted

Why are tops number one and why are bottoms nothing (#0)

Return your gay card card immediately you buffoon. People like you makes us all look like idiots! :lol:

Just kidding. I am going to look silly explaining this, so you seasoned gay people please turn your head. Ok bodo, stick up your idex finger to indicate a "1", it symbolises your dick. Now use your index finger and thumb to show zero or a hole or your arsehole. So, a one is a fxxker, and a zero is a fxxkee you, you dumb ass. :hat:

A 10 is of course indicates someone who can be a fxxker and and a bottom.

I can't believe at this time and age I have to explain this. *groan*

Get well soon Lungker!

Btw, does Lungker stand for Lao Uncle? Just asking...

Very good guess. Had never thought of it this way.

The truth is it was a bad English interpretation of Long Ge (big Dragon brother). Back in 2002, I started using this nick to separate my postings from my good for nothing alter ego twin, Golfnut. He is always reminiscing about the past. I think he still has his version of the white polyester suit from the Saturday Night Fever days from the mid 70s. And don't ever mention the platform disco shoes he still wears. :o

Lunker...

Not that old man need more time to recover...the Flu bug macham like super bug liao

Thanks to the abuse of anti biotics... :angry:

Try to seek help early....take tonics when its a mild cough...smoking does not help :yuk: ...kekeke

Sounding like a nenek :smokin:

Thanks Marineboy, about 80% to full recovery. No one to cook tonics for me lah.

Be good everyone.

Please play safely! Use a condom if you are having anal sex.

Guest Felicia Chin
Posted

Lungker, what's Feng Ling and Yellow House...?

Posted
Lungker, what's Feng Ling and Yellow House...?

Cheap public karaoke (Ler Ling) that cater to middle-aged crowd of which a substantial are gay uncles who are married. There are blur or understanding aunties (real female ones, not the quarrelling male types) there too.

This place, near the Farrer Park MRT, was quite extensively discussed here back in 2004 to 2006 and had since closed down about two tears ago.

Have a good day.

Please play safely! Use a condom if you are having anal sex.

Guest lookg4seniorChubs
Posted

Hi Lungker, maybe i have not been active enof to draw the conclusion you had for the numbers, i always thot that there are equal ratio of 0s and 1s. i am surprised that majority would share the same conclusions as you. I have always been a stocky senior chub lover, and have always be a 1.

Hope you are much better by now. Good to have you around. Btw, your pic looks great and i do know that it is a pic of an actor. Do you have a special reason for having it to represent you? I ask cos sometimes we may choose a pic that we seek as a partner rather than to represent ourselves.

Posted
Btw, your pic looks great and i do know that it is a pic of an actor. Do you have a special reason for having it to represent you? I ask cos sometimes we may choose a pic that we seek as a partner rather than to represent ourselves.

Lungker is a very charismatic and intelligent guy in real life. That handsome pic of Jiang Wen represents him well.

Posted
Lungker is a very charismatic and intelligent guy in real life

Actually from his posting can already tell !

We see things not as they are, but as WE are - The Talmud

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear - The Buddha

Guest Lungker fanclub
Posted

We love Lungker!!

Posted

We love Lungker!!

Ooo, dun let GM hears that. Can be so jealous, u know?

Lungker older than GM bya few yrs, right?

Maybe GM & Lungker should get together for some 'sexual healing'.... hehe...

Posted

Lungker is getting better so decided to BITCHSLAP OralB and Smoking Bear. Piak piak!

Oh shut up or else give me something else to suck on!

A nice fat human cigar will do fine. *smile & slurp* Who is volunteering?

how the hell did i get involve in Lunker's ranting? why did Lunker moving towards imchaser's style? Why? Why?

I am gonna get you that pacifier so that you can self service 24/7...

be happy ... hahahaa....

:thumb: When I Think It, I Do It, I Win It! :thumb:

Posted

now that GM and Lunker had their own threads, shall I start one as well?

damn! competition is such a bitch...

:thumb: When I Think It, I Do It, I Win It! :thumb:

Posted

Btw, your pic looks great and i do know that it is a pic of an actor. Do you have a special reason for having it to represent you? I ask cos sometimes we may choose a pic that we seek as a partner rather than to represent ourselves.

I had always like Jiang Wen. I first saw him in the movie Red Sorghum way back in 1987. However at that time he was just muscular and not chunky enough and he was still young. Like good wine he had aged really well. Now he is more my type, middle-age with a nice tummy. However he is too tall. He is my height and weight actually. My ideal man's physical attributes should be short to medium height, chunky and solid looking.

Lungker is a very charismatic and intelligent guy in real life. That handsome pic of Jiang Wen represents him well.

AAwww...that's just a nice way to say I am ugly and snarky looking. :lol:

Actually from his posting can already tell !

Sure or not? :oops:

We love Lungker!!

Sign up as member, PM me, and have a Tiger on me! :hat:

how the hell did i get involve in Lunker's ranting? why did Lunker moving towards imchaser's style? Why? Why?

Welcome home.

Hello, the ranting was way back in 2005 lah. Somebody dug up the thread leh. Why I piak you back then I can't even remember now. :D

And please, me moving towards Imchaser's style? Huh! Imchaser was not even a sperm when I started posting here. :rolleyes:

OK, just kidding.

Have a good week everyone. Be Happy! :thumb:

Please play safely! Use a condom if you are having anal sex.

Posted

yes I agree with you suckling-pig, lungker is very intelligent he graduated from a ivy league university in USA, and he is a good golfer a very good catch if I am chubby I will take him as my lover but I am thin so I am not so lucky!

Posted

Lungker into Chub like GM? lol.

P.S: GM, dun fxxk me verbally in cyberspace, please..........

I will reveal my ass to u when we meet in chinatown. hehe...

Posted

What they claimed.............................The real Truth

----------------------.............................----------------

0 (zero)............................................Insatiable bottom

Versatile or 10...................................Bottom 98% of the time.

1.......................................................50% bottom

Don't like anal sex..............................Don't mind u sitting on them

Shy to answer....................................100% bottom with a small dick

So funny funny but true true. I claim I 1 one. Lungker your claim claim number ?

Posted

So funny funny but true true. I claim I 1 one. Lungker your claim claim number ?

I shy to say.... :oops:

Please play safely! Use a condom if you are having anal sex.

Guest imseeker
Posted (edited)
I shy to say.... :oops:

So from your post here, you "shy to answer" means you are "100% bottom with a small dick"...? :ph34r:

PS. just asking, not judging...

Edited by imseeker
Posted

So from your post here, you "shy to answer" means you are "100% bottom with a small dick"...? :ph34r:

PS. just asking, not judging...

It was a Freudian slip. I hope I did not disappoint anyone. :hat:

Be Happy.

Please play safely! Use a condom if you are having anal sex.

Guest imseeker
Posted

It was a Freudian slip. I hope I did not disappoint anyone. :hat:

Be Happy.

Don't worry... :D

Posted

One thing i know for sure. Lungker got a very big c...*

*car

Volunteering for the underwear association for third world countries. Please donate your used underwear to me.

Posted

Big car = small dick

Thanks for confirming the size of my family jewels.

Be happy.

Please play safely! Use a condom if you are having anal sex.

Guest FattChoy88
Posted

I think I've stayed away from the G scene too long. First word came to my mind was the word ...'cunt'. And I'm not kidding!

One thing i know for sure. Lungker got a very big c...*

*car

Guest Hainan Man
Posted

So from your post here, you "shy to answer" means you are "100% bottom with a small dick"...? :ph34r:

PS. just asking, not judging...

If anyone here really think Lungker is a bottom with a small dick, then you are hallucinating. Hahaha. Funny.

I used to know him personally back in the late 80's and early 90's after he returned from the States. He was about 6 feet and built like a swimmer.

His taste back then was stocky men but he would also eat uncles, especially married ones. He used to boast that he had fxxked almost all the stocky men and uncles that hung out at Hong Lim Park. He would also frequent Marmotta a Sunday disco at Leisure Drome for his hunts. Another boast of his is all married men who are in the scene are bottoms - because he had fxxked all the married men he had caught.

Lungker's cock is six and a half inches long. I have proof! We were fooling around with Polaroids back then when we took some photos. I kept his photos and he kept mine. Hahahaha.

Still don't believe me? I share one secret that people here would not know about him. His real weakness is not only Teochew men but also Hainanese men as well. Hahahaha. Remember the married stout Hainanese uncle who sells fruit at Redhill? Hahahaha. That one that always called you to his place when the wife and the children were out and moans like an auntie when you fxxked him and you had to use your hand to cover his mouth? Hahahaha.

Lungker, am I right or not? Hehehehe? You bottom meh? Really or not? Who here can confirm they had fxxked you before? Hahaha. Very funny.

By the way, Alan says hello. He told me about this website. Hahahaha.

Lungker please don't delete my comment if I am saying the truth. If I lie, you can delete. Fair or not? Hahahaha.....

Posted

Well, well, well, my past had finally caught up with me.

I am curious to know who are you. Can you please register as a member and PM me. Who is this Alan you are talking about? Or better still why not get my number from this Alan and call me.

I can't really recalled the Polaroid incident. :oops: Was I drunk? Nevermind, you know how to reach me. If you know my weakness for Hainanese men and you are chunky, and we had a fling 20 yrs ago, maybe we can fling again.

Top, bottom, big dick, small dick - all semantics lah. Put it this way, I called myself a bottom but in the last 5 years, I have been fxxked by less than 5 men and out of which only one is a Singaporean uncle who do not know how to surf the net. So you are right, no one here had fxxked me before.

I guess if you want to, we will catch up with each other soon enough. Ball is at your court.

Be Happy.

Please play safely! Use a condom if you are having anal sex.

  • 1 year later...
Guest Guest
Posted

how the hell did i get involve in Lunker's ranting? why did Lunker moving towards imchaser's style? Why? Why?

 

LOL... don't let imchaser read this, or else he might take it as an insult...

  • 2 years later...
  • 1 year later...
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