Do Chinese Guys Only Go For Chinese Guys? + Why do Chinese prefer also Chinese? (compiled)

[futurelinguist]

I'm not a Chinese fella but I'm very much a local and has never seen anyone by race - whether it comes to dating or even making friends.

 

I used to date Malay guys exclusively because they'd usually be the only ones who'd strike up conversations with me.

 

After a very bad, and abusive experience with my druggy ex who is malay, I was pretty much done with relationships.

 

A year later I started dating this Chinese boy who was probably the only Chinese who took the first step to talk to me on an app. The other Chinese boys I tried to hit up ignored my messages - probably because my profile pic gave away that I'm not Chinese (my features are very sharp, and i'm a little tanned). We became monogamous until something unexpected happened.

 

I've tried to get back into the dating scene and realised that Chinese guys exclusively date other Chinese guys only. Am i just unlucky or is this what it has come to?

 

P.S. i'm not pointing any fingers, implicating racism etc. 

 

I'm just curious for an insight. Do let me know if you're a Chinese who is together with a non-Chinese.

 

 

[Etoricoxib22]

Hmm.. I am not Chinese, but I am pretty much into Chinese guys.

However, I think you may be right. Some are rather unapproachable.

They dont seems to like my race. I guess.

[JYAG-sim]

I think it's a personal preference. I find Malay guys very attractive though I've not dated any. I think it also has to do with preferences like food, especially when both guys are out dining. It's ok for a Chinese guy to have Malay cuisine once in a while but after some time, he may crave for Chinese food. Then there's the language part. If a Chinese guy is more comfortable speaking Mandarin, it's quite obvious he would prefer dating a Chinese guy. 

Edited October 4, 2014 by JYAG-sim

[SeannyShortcake]

I think it's easier to say Chinese guys enjoy freedom to do what they want and not have their lifestyle restricted.

 

I know of quite a few interracial couples but yes Chinese tend to go for their own.

[Guest Guest]

TS,

You caucasian or indian?

From the way your post is i do not think you are malay..

[futurelinguist]

I think it's easier to say Chinese guys enjoy freedom to do what they want and not have their lifestyle restricted.

 

I know of quite a few interracial couples but yes Chinese tend to go for their own.

 

 

I think it's a personal preference. I find Malay guys very attractive though I've not dated any. I think it also has to do with preferences like food, especially when both guys are out dining. It's ok for a Chinese guy to have Malay cuisine once in a while but after some time, he may crave for Chinese food. Then there's the language part. If a Chinese guy is more comfortable speaking Mandarin, it's quite obvious he would prefer dating a Chinese guy. 

 

 

Funny how the only restriction I concur with is the language barrier.

I'm a North Indian and I could eat and do practically anything and everything as what my Chinese ex eats and does.

[Guest Goofball]

I'm Chinese and many of my friends are in same race couplings. That said some of them have slept with Malay guys, and so have I. I have also gone on dates with Malay guys, some of them, repeated dates. That said, I have only been in two relationships, and both of them are Chinese too.

My advice to you is this: work out and get hot. (It really isn't that difficult, it just takes time and commitment). Once you have muscles, the attention will be on you.

[mate69]

For me, I go for other races.

I am chinese.

[futurelinguist]

TS,

You caucasian or indian?

From the way your post is i do not think you are malay..

 

North Indian, if you want me to be specific.

 

I'm Chinese and many of my friends are in same race couplings. That said some of them have slept with Malay guys, and so have I. I have also gone on dates with Malay guys, some of them, repeated dates. That said, I have only been in two relationships, and both of them are Chinese too.

My advice to you is this: work out and get hot. (It really isn't that difficult, it just takes time and commitment). Once you have muscles, the attention will be on you.

 

Hahaha, you made me literally LOL. Wouldn't that just be inviting superficial guys? That's the last thing I'd want - Chinese or not!

For me, I go for other races.

I am chinese.

 

And how do things work out for you?

[adude_89]

.....

Edited March 1, 2022 by adude_89
.....

[futurelinguist]

i am not Chinese. partner is Chinese. no issues. having said that, i have no food/religion issues. i do my part and eat what i want and so does he. 

 

but on a very very very touchy and taboo topic ... it seems that chn guys mostly go for chinese guys ... its like an unspoken hierarchy i've noticed and goes ... chn -- malay -- ind and when it comes to ind i find it funny how some must stress NORTH indian (like it means its better than SOUTH indians)  xD (but ok this is but one unimportant boy's view and does not mean anything) 

 

but i cannot blame anyone for the way they choose to introduce themselves because of all the rejections and stereotypes happening 

What unspoken hierarchy is this?

 

Btw, good job with the slap in the face on the "north". I see what you did there. hahaha. Was just being specific, with no other intention

[SeannyShortcake]

No matter where you go or what race you are as long as you're hot,you're gonna gain acceptance somewhere.

 

True that might rake in quite a few superficial people but seriously,dudes are visual creatures.

[futurelinguist]

No matter where you go or what race you are as long as you're hot,you're gonna gain acceptance somewhere.

 

True that might rake in quite a few superficial people but seriously,dudes are visual creatures.

Is that why YOU work out? Okay, I'm kidding.

[Guest nangnang]

Hahaha, you made me literally LOL. Wouldn't that just be inviting superficial guys? That's the last thing I'd want - Chinese or not!

 

Please lah, the FIRST thing that attracts us to other guys is their looks. Imagine two guys, both equally with hearts of gold. One is fat, the other is muscular. Who would you go for?

Or: The fat guy has a heart of gold. The muscular guy is a douchebag. Who would get your attention first? How many guys (chub chasers aside) will talk to the fat guy first?

We're men, most of us are largely superficial. That's just how the world works.

[futurelinguist]

Please lah, the FIRST thing that attracts us to other guys is their looks. Imagine two guys, both equally with hearts of gold. One is fat, the other is muscular. Who would you go for?

Or: The fat guy has a heart of gold. The muscular guy is a douchebag. Who would get your attention first? How many guys (chub chasers aside) will talk to the fat guy first?

We're men, most of us are largely superficial. That's just how the world works.

Thanks for your very insightful post. I hope you're together with someone who can keep up with superficiality. Cheers!

[Guest Guest]

My advice to you is this: work out and get hot. (It really isn't that difficult, it just takes time and commitment). Once you have muscles, the attention will be on you.

 

You're over-generalizing, not everyone cares about muscles. I'm actually turned out by overly muscular guys. Especially those vain types.

[Guest seannytallcake]

Just a random question, anyone else find seannyshortcake always give the Dumb-est replies ever??

Seanny, dont take this offenssively okie?

[futurelinguist]

You're over-generalizing, not everyone cares about muscles. I'm actually turned out by overly muscular guys. Especially those vain types.

 

I've got to agree with you on that!

[snowball]

I know a lot of malay into malay only,

so is normal that most chinese into chinese,

most does not mean all, so if the person not into you,

just move on, you like does not mean the other party

ought to accept you, all are adult, just take it easy.

[adude_89]

What unspoken hierarchy is this?

 

Btw, good job with the slap in the face on the "north". I see what you did there. hahaha. Was just being specific, with no other intention

 

Haha i know i just expressed my personal opinion which may carry no weight mate. just personal observations only. but yeah the NORTH thing ive seen it with alot of other guys. 

 

as for the "get fit" suggestion. its somewhat true ... if the person is a "muscular hottie" the race hardly matters anymore. its cool that you're not seeking this. 

 

but to keep it simple im sure if u wanted you can find a chinese partner if thats what you want. 

[OneBlanket4us]

Hermm...best thing is give urself "good market" (look and hot body etc) and the demand will sure come(:

[futurelinguist]

Haha i know i just expressed my personal opinion which may carry no weight mate. just personal observations only. but yeah the NORTH thing ive seen it with alot of other guys. 

 

as for the "get fit" suggestion. its somewhat true ... if the person is a "muscular hottie" the race hardly matters anymore. its cool that you're not seeking this. 

 

but to keep it simple im sure if u wanted you can find a chinese partner if thats what you want. 

Thanks for the optimistic view.

 

Hermm...best thing is give urself "good market" (look and hot body etc) and the demand will sure come(:

Not true.. I have a few friends who have almost everything.. Brains and brawn yet still single. That's a whole new topic on its own though.

[Guest nangnang]

Thanks for your very insightful post. I hope you're together with someone who can keep up with superficiality. Cheers!

 

And I guess you're not, you who want to go for Chinese guys just because they're Chinese. Nope, that's not superficial at all. Cheers!

[Guest Guest]

Some north indians are quite good looking..

those fair skinned coloured eyes can look caucasians or persians even latinos.. 

 

And I guess you're not, you who want to go for Chinese guys just because they're Chinese. Nope, that's not superficial at all. Cheers!

 

haha he has a fetish or personal preference for chinese guys la. hahha

[futurelinguist]

And I guess you're not, you who want to go for Chinese guys just because they're Chinese. Nope, that's not superficial at all. Cheers!

 

Lol good try on making me sound superficial but i never once said i only want to date Chinese guys only. Maybe you can start working on your comprehension skills? While you do that, do sign up for an account to be able to share your progress in the near future. Also, it gets very juvenile when your defensive passive aggressive tone is not on par with the lack of substance in your posts.

Some north indians are quite good looking..

those fair skinned coloured eyes can look caucasians or persians even latinos.. 

 

 

haha he has a fetish or personal preference for chinese guys la. hahha

Hahaha. i have no fetish of such.

[adude_89]

On 10/5/2014 at 12:58 AM, futurelinguist said:

Lol good try on making me sound superficial but i never once said i only want to date Chinese guys only. Maybe you can start working on your comprehension skills? While you do that, do sign up for an account to be able to share your progress in the near future. Also, it gets very juvenile when your defensive passive aggressive tone is not on par with the lack of substance in your posts. /forum/uploads/emoticons/default_smile.png

Hahaha. i have no fetish of such.

..

Edited March 1, 2022 by adude_89
...

[futurelinguist]

hm whats your main point of this thread futureL? - to ask if chinese guys want mainly only chn dudes ? - generally it seems the case cause they are the major race in sg. but there are chn dudes who get into r/s with non chn dudes. 

 

u sure u have no fetish? cause i find my partner fine as hell . but i have no idea if its cos he is chinese or not la lol 

 to ask if chinese guys want mainly only chn dudes ? Yes.

 

HAHAHA. I'm sure your partner has some attributes that make and have kept him your partner.

Edited October 4, 2014 by futurelinguist

[Guest Guest]

hm whats your main point of this thread futureL? - to ask if chinese guys want mainly only chn dudes ? - generally it seems the case cause they are the major race in sg. but there are chn dudes who get into r/s with non chn dudes. 

 

u sure u have no fetish? cause i find my partner fine as hell . but i have no idea if its cos he is chinese or not la lol 

 

Ts is a north indian dude who has personal preference for chinese guys..

However unable to find one as he observes most chinese dudes go for chinese dudes..

So he is asking is there such a pairing for indian and chinese. girl and boy couple yes very common lately but gay i have not seen one so far

[tommyworld]

I do have Chinese friends (both guys and girls) who exclusively date non-Chinese guys. That being said, I'm Malay and I prefer Chinese guys over Malay/Indian guys. It's just a matter of preference, really. 

 

Maybe it just seems that Chinese guys are together because the Chinese make up the racial majority, so if we're speaking by numbers it's more likely that an individual would be with a Chinese dude. I don't know, hahaha. 

[Guest Guest]

Aiyoh so what's with the malay and indian guys into chinese guys thingy all about? You refuse to date within your own race and claim those chinese who are into other chinese racist? Seriously you guys look ridiculous the way you think the world revolves around your predilections, implying that others need to change just to suit your taste. Such monumental sense of entitlement on your part is utterly beyond anyone.

[Guest Guest]

I find some malay guys more attractive than chinese guys. Their facial features are very much better. I would certainly date them but their religion is quite strict so most of them are straight I presume.

[Guest nangnang]

Lol good try on making me sound superficial but i never once said i only want to date Chinese guys only. Maybe you can start working on your comprehension skills? While you do that, do sign up for an account to be able to share your progress in the near future. Also, it gets very juvenile when your defensive passive aggressive tone is not on par with the lack of substance in your posts.

Hahaha. i have no fetish of such.

 

The only reason why I launched into passive aggressive mode is because you pulled the same stunt on me here:

 

Thanks for your very insightful post. I hope you're together with someone who can keep up with superficiality. Cheers!

 

And then, you also went on to call me "juvenile" and lacking of comprehension skills. I meant no malice when I wrote my first post, and that's what I truly believe in and I find your litany of aggressive insults uncalled for. My answer to you was genuine, as a result from my personal experience, that making yourself attractive will ultimately reward you with a wider dating field. You certainly don't have to take my views as your own but did you really have to resort to name calling?

For the record, yes I've been together with my current bf for 3 years. And though we were initially attracted to each other for our looks, our relationship has blossomed and deepened to the point where we're currently renting a place together with two of our other female friends. That's how most relationships start: Finding each other attractive in our own different ways, whether he be muscled, or lean, or even with a little cute baby fat. We all have our own measures of what we find physically attractive and that has a part to play in who we go out with.

[Guest nangnang]

You refuse to date within your own race and claim those chinese who are into other chinese racist? Seriously you guys look ridiculous the way you think the world revolves around your predilections, implying that others need to change just to suit your taste. Such monumental sense of entitlement on your part is utterly beyond anyone.

Can you at least, attempt to read the first post before commenting?

[Guest Guest]

The only reason why I launched into passive aggressive mode is because you pulled the same stunt on me here:

And then, you also went on to call me "juvenile" and lacking of comprehension skills. I meant no malice when I wrote my first post, and that's what I truly believe in and I find your litany of aggressive insults uncalled for. My answer to you was genuine, as a result from my personal experience, that making yourself attractive will ultimately reward you with a wider dating field. You certainly don't have to take my views as your own but did you really have to resort to name calling?

For the record, yes I've been together with my current bf for 3 years. And though we were initially attracted to each other for our looks, our relationship has blossomed and deepened to the point where we're currently renting a place together with two of our other female friends. That's how most relationships start: Finding each other attractive in our own different ways, whether he be muscled, or lean, or even with a little cute baby fat. We all have our own measures of what we find physically attractive and that has a part to play in who we go out with.

Another 2 female friends?! Erm how inconveniant. Arr they lesbians?

[Guest Guest]

Can you at least, attempt to read the first post before commenting?

I read but I think ts is unconsciously implying those guys are racist. From my observations, a lot of them who prefer to date chinese think chinese who only date chinese are racist. Sorry ts but it's true.

[futurelinguist]

The only reason why I launched into passive aggressive mode is because you pulled the same stunt on me here:

 

 

And then, you also went on to call me "juvenile" and lacking of comprehension skills. I meant no malice when I wrote my first post, and that's what I truly believe in and I find your litany of aggressive insults uncalled for. My answer to you was genuine, as a result from my personal experience, that making yourself attractive will ultimately reward you with a wider dating field. You certainly don't have to take my views as your own but did you really have to resort to name calling?

For the record, yes I've been together with my current bf for 3 years. And though we were initially attracted to each other for our looks, our relationship has blossomed and deepened to the point where we're currently renting a place together with two of our other female friends. That's how most relationships start: Finding each other attractive in our own different ways, whether he be muscled, or lean, or even with a little cute baby fat. We all have our own measures of what we find physically attractive and that has a part to play in who we go out with.

 

Thanks for sharing and seems like things have worked out for you.

I read but I think ts is unconsciously implying those guys are racist. From my observations, a lot of them who prefer to date chinese think chinese who only date chinese are racist. Sorry ts but it's true.

Lol this reply is a joke. "...unconsciously implying..." hahaha. I don't know what to say...

Edited October 4, 2014 by futurelinguist

[futurelinguist]

I find some malay guys more attractive than chinese guys. Their facial features are very much better. I would certainly date them but their religion is quite strict so most of them are straight I presume.

 

Apart from facial features, there are many other things that make malay men attractive. The Muslim religion is a rather strict one, I concur but many see themselves as "modern" these days. You'd be surprised by the number!

[Butterscotch]

I do have Chinese friends (both guys and girls) who exclusively date non-Chinese guys. That being said, I'm Malay and I prefer Chinese guys over Malay/Indian guys. It's just a matter of preference, really. 

 

Maybe it just seems that Chinese guys are together because the Chinese make up the racial majority, so if we're speaking by numbers it's more likely that an individual would be with a Chinese dude. I don't know, hahaha. 

 

 

I think it's either a matter of preference or being colour (and race) blind. I know Chinese guys - albeit a small amount - who are open/prefer to date outside their race.

 

Apart from facial features, there are many other things that make malay men attractive. The Muslim religion is a rather strict one, I concur but many see themselves as "modern" these days. You'd be surprised by the number!

 

Yeah count me in on this, "modern Muslim" here hahaha.

[hotphoenix]

so finally someone opened the can of worms. truth to be told....its a hard truth that the majority never admits and instead choosing to hide behind euphemisms like "preference". Racial preference is just falling short of calling oneself racist. They just dont realise how silly they look when they tell ppl that they prefer to engage someone (aint talking about sex. even dating or hanging out at TP) on the basis of color.

These things happen in London too when i lived there. Whites discriminate against the Chinese. But they dnt mince with words such as "preference" to hide thier inner racial prejudice.

and if you think all chinese are as such, you are wrong. its mostly a singaporean chinese thing (oh what an irony). ud be surprised how nice the chinese guys are from everywhere else and those sgp chinese guys who have lived overseas. dated one from hong kong and taipei before.

Edited October 4, 2014 by hotphoenix

[navyblue]

TS, are you mly or indian?

I am Chi, but I find Mly and Ind guys goodlooking with their sharper features.

But I only go for the fit and goodlooking ones. No offence.

[Guest Guest]

If one neither have the looks nor bod or are sissy and/or bitchy, it definitely feels better to call others racist when rejected.

[Guest Guest]

Apart from facial features, there are many other things that make malay men attractive. The Muslim religion is a rather strict one, I concur but many see themselves as "modern" these days. You'd be surprised by the number!

Malay men, due to their culture and upbringing, generally tend to behave manlier than chinese or indian men?

[TheAntisen]

As much as people want to deny it, color matters.

 

What you wear, how you look, the color of your skin, your hairstyle, your build, your height, your upbringing, how you feel, how you speak, how you walk, how you stand, the people you know, the amount of money you make, your intelligence, and even what you eat all plays a part in how people perceive you,

 

With so many 'variables', it's easy to understand why people tend to go for people who are similar to themselves. "This guy does what I know and am familiar with, so it must be easier to establish a connection," is pretty much what is going on in their heads. You can never deny the feeling of familiarity because it directly plays in to safety, which is part of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

 

I think what you need to ask yourself is why does it bother you so much. Does it make you feel bad about yourself? Does it make you feel unwanted? Unloved? If so, you have all the right to feel these things because that's part and parcel of what a minority in any country has to go through. But like anything that causes you suffering, use it to become wiser and more understanding of the world around you. As someone who once went through this exact same train of thought, it is something that can be overcome once you see some redeeming qualities in yourself. I think many people on this forum will agree with the fact that it's so much more important and rewarding to put in effort to love yourself rather than to question why people don't find you desirable. 

Edited October 5, 2014 by TheAntisen

[Guest Guest]

As much as people want to deny it, color matters.

What you wear, how you look, the color of your skin, your hairstyle, your build, your height, your upbringing, how you feel, how you speak, how you walk, how you stand, the people you know, the amount of money you make, your intelligence, and even what you eat all plays a part in how people perceive you,

With so many 'variables', it's easy to understand why people tend to go for people who are similar to themselves. "This guy does what I know and am familiar with, so it must be easier to establish a connection," is pretty much what is going on in their heads. You can never deny the feeling of familiarity because it directly plays in to safety, which is part of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

I think what you need to ask yourself is why does it bother you so much. Does it make you feel bad about yourself? Does it make you feel unwanted? Unloved? If so, you have all the right to feel these things because that's part and parcel of what a minority in any country has to go through. But like anything that causes you suffering, use it to become wiser and more understanding of the world around you. As someone who once went through this exact same train of thought, it is something that can be overcome once you see some redeeming qualities in yourself. I think many people on this forum will agree with the fact that it's so much more important and rewarding to put in effort to love yourself rather than to question why people don't find you desirable.

Yes I will like to reiterate the point that everyone, from toilet aunties to CEOs, judge superficially according to attributes like hairstyle, clothing and occupation, etc. Initially, at least. It's only human. None of us are saints. If anyone doean't judge, I will be very suspicious of his motives. Sad? No. That's just the way this society works. Accept it, do something about it (yourself) and then move on.

[futurelinguist]

TS, are you mly or indian?

I am Chi, but I find Mly and Ind guys goodlooking with their sharper features.

But I only go for the fit and goodlooking ones. No offence.

 

Indian. 

 

Malay men, due to their culture and upbringing, generally tend to behave manlier than chinese or indian men?

 

I think this is very subjective. 

As much as people want to deny it, color matters.

 

I think what you need to ask yourself is why does it bother you so much. Does it make you feel bad about yourself? Does it make you feel unwanted? Unloved? If so, you have all the right to feel these things because that's part and parcel of what a minority in any country has to go through. But like anything that causes you suffering, use it to become wiser and more understanding of the world around you. As someone who once went through this exact same train of thought, it is something that can be overcome once you see some redeeming qualities in yourself. I think many people on this forum will agree with the fact that it's so much more important and rewarding to put in effort to love yourself rather than to question why people don't find you desirable. 

 

Thanks for imparting some knowledge here!

I don't think it bothers me so much. I do love myself and have done so many things to reaffirm myself that these past six months as a single man.

[Guest tru]

I read but I think ts is unconsciously implying those guys are racist. From my observations, a lot of them who prefer to date chinese think chinese who only date chinese are racist. Sorry ts but it's true.

 

Yes that is true indeed...but even if they know that they won't change, for if we are in their shoes we most probably will feel the same way. Emotion triumphs over reason for most people.

 

I am Chinese and I'd only date Chinese or at least 50% Chinese guys. Why? Do I have to justify my ideals of a lover? I have to? If not I'm racist? I treat all other races in the same way when it comes to acquaintances and friends; no pretensions, condescension whatsoever. They are all people to me. So I'm racist still?

 

What if I'm a SOUTH Indian and I question why NORTH Indians don't give me a chance? Why the hell are they so racist towards their own race?! Well it doesn't have to be this case but you get my drift. Most of us have very specific racial preferences because until all races have but ONE culture, race implies a whole of lot things! Culture, demeanor, family background, home, belief systems, views, media preferences, etc etc. Of course in our society things have somehow merged and cultural differences are not that discrete, but race still implies many things. Appearance is of course the number one reason for many, but I'm giving additional reasons to think about. 

[Guest tru]

The thread starter clearly doesn't imply any blaming, yet too many of Indian and Malay gays do. And it is weird not to mention this pertinent issue while trying to explain why Chinese guys prefer other Chinese guys.

[Guest Guest]

TS, do u hv big dick? If you have, some shameless guys regardless of race will just flock to you willingly

[futurelinguist]

TS, do u hv big dick? If you have, some shameless guys regardless of race will just flock to you willingly

HAHAHA. only the people I've slept with would know. I've never taken a dick pic my entire life so no one else would know

 

By shameless, i think you're saying horny lah?

[ohlala]

I like Chinese guys.  Sometimes I fancy having a chinese bf haha