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[Hiv Support Group] Living A Life Being Hiv+ & Living With Someone Who Is Hiv+ (Compiled)

Guest Sin_Man

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lovehandle
lovehandle

Carpenter try to go for larger blood sample amount instead, rather than just a prick or a brush? and I don't think sickness really affect esp if it s lab-tested These problems are less frequently

Wilaemina
Wilaemina

Dear -afraid-, I first want you to realize that you will not be walking this long walk alone. I'm a healthcare professional and I would sincerely like to take this long walk with you as a friend. I wo

Guest PozD
Guest PozD

Cheer up HIVPOSSG, everything will be good. Go for sports. Some are simple - just do jogging for 3 mins two or three times a week. You will see how this brings up your mood. I was diagnosed 2.5 years

keyboard Proficient

keyboard

Posted
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Thks Keyboard, my concern is not about the religion, but I heard before it is coz HIV+ human cannot be exposed to the environment for too long once dead, so must faster be cremated, not sure is it that the virus might spread or something like that?

 

HIV virus must spread by blood contact (the virus don't survive very long if the blood is dead i believe, not like flu virus).

 

http://www.afa.org.sg/act/24/frame_editorial.html

 

AfA played a major role in advocating for both these changes, in particular for the change to the burial regulations over the last few years. Deceased HIV infected persons in the past had to be cremated within 24 hours of their passing. This meant that families and friends could not observe a proper wake or funeral, and this also often resulted in much speculation and gossip about the cause of death in these cases. This had a negative impact on the privacy of the family and loved ones. Furthermore the measures fuelled the fires of discrimination and stigma surrounding HIV/AIDS when the lay public observed that bodies of HIV infected persons were summarily and unceremoniously disposed of. In addition AfA had argued that if proper measures were taken, there would be no risk to public health, and families could accord their loved ones with a dignified send off. Under the new rules, bodies of HIV-infected persons can be claimed for wakes. For unembalmed bodies the cremation must be within 3 days. Bodies which are embalmed can be kept for up to 7 days. On behalf of PWAs and their families, we would like to express our thanks to the authorities for changing these rules.

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Guest LONEly NIGht

Guest LONEly NIGht

Posted
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I am still flabbergasted at those practice unprotected sex knowing high risks involved. Even as level headed as Enelym1978 do admit his moment of guilty . I get paranoid easily, even with condom I still worry it might broken , hence the process of penetration always make me worry rather than enjoy. I think if every body know how to take care themselves than I won't be worried so much.

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Guest steve5380

Guest steve5380

Posted
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Dear all,

I am recently diagnosed with HIV, now am waiting to meet the doc for consultation, anybody can advise me on a few questions,

1. Will my family be informed of my positive results? Can I remain anonymous and not disclose my status to anyone?

2. How many more years can I live? Anyone can tell me how long he has survived since he was tested positive?

3. Do you feel tired easily? What side effects will the medication cause?

4. I understand if we pass away, we must be burnt immediately, cannot hold any rituals, is this true?

5. Can I still have a relationship with a HIV negative guy? Cannot have sex even with protection?

Any HIV + guys wanna be friends? I was thinking of forming a group so that we can hang out, do sports, etc together?

2. You can live indefinitely with HIV if you have a regimen of drugs that keep your virus load undetectable.  This should be easy to achieve with today's medicines.  There is a good variety of medicines so that side effects can be minimized or eliminated for most individuals.   I have a friend who was detected with HIV 24 years ago, and now has a perfectly normal life thanks to his rigurous following of his drug treatment.  His drugs have not been changed for more than 10 years, and he simply goes once every six months to the doctor to have his blood tests done. 

 

3. A good specialist in HIV treatment should be able to find a combination of drugs that have minimum side effects and don't cause fatigue nor anything else.

 

5. Learn how the virus is propagated, and you will have the answer for what type of sex you can have.  And NOTE!!!!: Precautions should be taken also with people who are already HIV infected.  There are different strains of the virus, and getting infected with new strains can complicate the treatment.

 

If you have been recently detected with the virus,  don't simply consult a doctor and make some questions on a forum:  BECOME A SPECIALIST ON THIS SUBJECT.  Read in books and online all you can about HIV. Follow the latest trends, and keep an optimistic outlook.  

 

If you have access to decent treatment,  please realize that there are OH!  so many health conditions that are so much, much worse. 

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Guest Raiden Alpha

Guest Raiden Alpha

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Aids is now a manageable illness that can be manage by modern medicine, it is much less scary compare to 30 years ago back in the 80s.

Aids is almost akin to being a chronic disease like diabetes or high blood pressure but it still shouldn't be view as such because it is infectious to others while other chronic diseases is not.

What is actually tormenting Hiv/Aids sufferers is the financial burden on treatments and the social stigma this particular illness carry with it.

Science have advance with the passage of time but sadly society collective mindset/attitude have not.

Aids is a Lonely disease for those who have it.

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Guest Wesley

Guest Wesley

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Aids is now a manageable illness that can be manage by modern medicine, it is much less scary compare to 30 years ago back in the 80s.

Aids is almost akin to being a chronic disease like diabetes or high blood pressure but it still shouldn't be view as such because it is infectious to others while other chronic diseases is not.

What is actually tormenting Hiv/Aids sufferers is the financial burden on treatments and the social stigma this particular illness carry with it.

Science have advance with the passage of time but sadly society collective mindset/attitude have not.

Aids is a Lonely disease for those who have it.

I don't think HIV or AIDS could be considered in the same category as other chronic diseases like diabetes and high blood pressure because you don’t have the fear that by having sex with someone you might be infecting them too. Also, those that think once you become HIV+ you never have to worry again are misinformed. There are different strains of the disease. It is possible to get more than just one strain of HIV. Your immune system is weakened and you are also more vulnerable to other STD's which would put your immune system under more stress to fight off. Thirdly, some of the HIV and STD strains have become resistant to medications so some people's immune system may build up a tolerance to the medication which can result in side effects.

 

This is one disease that requires great respect and fear. It is unforgiving and there is no room for error. Every bit of caution should be taken to avoid exposer. This disease is far from over and is mutating into scarier superbugs. There are people with STD's who don't worry about their own health and are infecting others. That is a fact! Everyone needs to be sexually satisfied and everyone must choose the level of risk they are willing to tolerate.

 

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Guest Wesley

Guest Wesley

Posted
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we are more interested to know  since u got hiv is not from sex than from where?food?

No I'm not interested in how anyone contracted there disease. I'm more interested in preventing others from getting it. If you are so "interested in knowing why", why don't you register your name and start your own thread then people can respond to your specific query if they choose to?

 

Why do you feel it is necessary to be so aggressive to the point of it verging on the point of be a personal attack. No body owes you any explanation. Your posting has a tone of superiority, judgemental undertones and aggressiveness. You might be better to reflect on that rather than attack someone else’s HIV cause.

 

There are different ways of contracting this disease. Two cases come to mind: The first was haemophiliacs being infected with tainted blood which was provided by the Red Cross in North America. Secondly, there was a dentist who infected some patents a few years back.

 

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Guest Raiden Alpha

Guest Raiden Alpha

Posted
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@Wesley

I did mention it is "almost akin" to chronic diseases but it is not and shouldn't be view as one too didn't I ? The similarities is there but with the major difference lie in HIV/Aids is infectious while diabetes &high blood pressure are not.

Readers shouldn't practice selective reading and misquote others.

Other than these clarifications I do fully agree with your last paragraph that emphasis on safe sex with others in general.

Thank you.

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Guest Wesley

Guest Wesley

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I am still flabbergasted at those practice unprotected sex knowing high risks involved. Even as level headed as Enelym1978 do admit his moment of guilty . I get paranoid easily, even with condom I still worry it might broken , hence the process of penetration always make me worry rather than enjoy. I think if every body know how to take care themselves than I won't be worried so much.

I agree. Like most gays I have the desire for anal sex but fear prevents me from perusing it. I was born in the 60's. I believe this healthy fear was has kept me from contracting HIV. For me, the only thing more personally devastating then getting the disease would be passing it on.

 

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bludragon Newbie

bludragon

Posted
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You can have HIV but not Aids if the person takes on a regimental medication as prescribed from a clinical specialist. Aids is a direct symptoms and complication from HIV virus if left untreated. Being said, people who suffered from aids can revert back to undetectable level of HIV ( doesn't mean they are cured) but it requires an aggressive treatment (treating the secondary infections from HIV separately and systematically). I know a couple of friends in my social support group recovered and living life normally.

To the newly diagnosed, there will proper channels to go through. I would recommend to do some readings first n prepare some questions. It's the best defense against doubts and the unknown. TTSH would do a follow up but I highly recommend to go for the support groups. You will meet your peers and clear your questions at the same time. Yes although the forum is a good source of information, it might be better to get advices from experts ( no pun intended for those who posted ).

Anyway been living with HIV for two and half years since my diagnosis. Was detected before ord in army. I hope my insight help Abit but like I said go through proper channels and get the necessary help you need.

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  • 3 weeks later...
superflawless Community Regular

superflawless

Posted
Posted (edited)

For those who are living with HIV, then this news could be of great impact to you.

 

"Food fungi in developing countries linked to worse HIV infection"

 

According to the researchers, foods that are stored in warehouses and barns of developing countries near the equator, such as Asia and Africa, become contaminated by Aspergillus flavus and A. parasiticus.

Because these fungi produce aflatoxin, a poisonous substance that has been known to cause cancer and liver damage in humans and animals, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has imposed regulations on the levels of the toxin in US food - particularly in animal feeds.

There are no similar restrictions on the levels of this toxin in developing countries, meaning citizens are much more likely to be exposed to high levels of the fungi and aflatoxin.

The researchers say around 4.5 billion people worldwide are exposed to unsafe levels of aflatoxin.

 

Read more in the link below:

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/263827.php

Edited by superflawless
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Guest Raiden Alpha

Guest Raiden Alpha

Posted
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I am planning to volunteer at AFA, to be part of the social grp. Who are also in this grp can advise what do u guys normally do when meet up?

They are forever exchanging street info between themselves on the players they run into in their lives to remain vigilant in the fight against aids. They are good in remembering details. I know some of these folks.
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Guest Raiden Alpha

Guest Raiden Alpha

Posted
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Are u HIV+ too? Anw thks for the info :)

No I am not.

I just mix with all kinds of people in life and over time learn to know the inner workings of certain industry and social groups/cliques that's all.

Sorry if I cause any misunderstanding or confusion among the readers.

My apologies:)

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  • 1 month later...
Iampositive Newbie

Iampositive

Posted
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Can I understand how's the sex life of hiv+ guys? I totally cut off myself from sex, afraid I might spread the disease to other people. may I know how u guys do when horny, diy or find another hiv+ guy with same strain?

Any of u are attached? With a normal guy or also hiv+? I am very curious whether we can still find love with the disease?

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Guest -paratrooper-

Guest -paratrooper-

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Finding love is difficult regardless of your status, but sure it's possible.

 

I know 2 couples who are/were in long term relationships(over 15 years) with one partner HIV+ and the other partner HIV-. 

 

Ironically, in one case, the HIV- partner passed away relatively young (late 40s), while the HIV+ partner is still alive and reasonably healthy(considering he was diagnosed in the early 90s).

 

For both couples, the fact that one partner was HIV+ never seemed to be an issue at all. They loved and cared for each other, took the necessary precautions, and carried on with life as normal as possible.

 

 

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Guest Guest

Guest Guest

Posted
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Can I understand how's the sex life of hiv+ guys? I totally cut off myself from sex, afraid I might spread the disease to other people. may I know how u guys do when horny, diy or find another hiv+ guy with same strain?

Any of u are attached? With a normal guy or also hiv+? I am very curious whether we can still find love with the disease?

I'm hiv+ for 8 years now. I'm celibate now and am quite happy about it. Finding sex is not the same as finding love though we often get mired in confusion with the two. Being hiv+ forces me to take a deep look at my so called gay life.....the so called friends that I used to have...the sex that I used to have....the things I did that I thought made me happy. It took me the next couple of years of living without those things I thought I couldn't give up, to realise those things actually didn't bring me happiness and meanings.

 

For a gay culture that emphasizes so much on sex, I wonder now if I should even call myself a gay since I stop having sex all together. I'm fortunate that I have my Buddhist practice to fall back on which is what keeps me going.

 

Whatever disease you have, you can still find love but don't look for it from someone else first. Learn to love yourself. Do what is best for yourself first. Even with hiv, we are capable of living a meaningful life on our own. You can cultivate solitude from being alone.

"Solitude is the beginning of all freedom." Quote from William Orville Douglas.

 

I avoid doing those things where hiv Is certain to be in the way. You can't live your life the same way as before or the same as what others are doing. It took quite a few years before it hit me hard that my life is going to be irrevocably changed because of the virus in me. But it need not be a change for the worst.

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Iampositive Newbie

Iampositive

Posted
Posted

I'm hiv+ for 8 years now. I'm celibate now and am quite happy about it. Finding sex is not the same as finding love though we often get mired in confusion with the two. Being hiv+ forces me to take a deep look at my so called gay life.....the so called friends that I used to have...the sex that I used to have....the things I did that I thought made me happy. It took me the next couple of years of living without those things I thought I couldn't give up, to realise those things actually didn't bring me happiness and meanings.

 

For a gay culture that emphasizes so much on sex, I wonder now if I should even call myself a gay since I stop having sex all together. I'm fortunate that I have my Buddhist practice to fall back on which is what keeps me going.

 

Whatever disease you have, you can still find love but don't look for it from someone else first. Learn to love yourself. Do what is best for yourself first. Even with hiv, we are capable of living a meaningful life on our own. You can cultivate solitude from being alone.

"Solitude is the beginning of all freedom." Quote from William Orville Douglas.

 

I avoid doing those things where hiv Is certain to be in the way. You can't live your life the same way as before or the same as what others are doing. It took quite a few years before it hit me hard that my life is going to be irrevocably changed because of the virus in me. But it need not be a change for the worst.

Thank you for the knnd advice, that is a wise man's speech, well said. But I still believe in love and having someone by my side throughout my entire life, I guess that is a phrase in life everyone hope to achieve, so any attached hiv+ guys can share with me is your partner also positive, & how u got to know him? Love is definitely important to most of us :)

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  • 3 weeks later...
Enelym1978 Explorer

Enelym1978

Posted
Posted

Forgot where I read this but someone said: better to know that you're doing it with a HIV+ person who knows it and takes care of it and protects himself and his partner rather than doing it with some other random person who never got tested.

 

Someone who doesn't know is status is even more at risk to putting his sex partners at risk. If you know what I mean. So many guys in Asia want to do it bareback, it's scary seriously.

 

Get tested regularly, at least once a year if you think that you never take risks but still, knowing your status is the first step to prevention! :)

I do it every time they offer those anonymous testings. For my own piece of mind. Of course it's scary but again, you know what you did....

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  • 2 weeks later...
Iampositive Newbie

Iampositive

Posted
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To those who have just started on medication, please stay strong and endure the side effects. They might be strong but I hope you can be stronger than them, the side effects will soon wear off.

I am a positive person but the side effects nearly caused me into depression and I wanted to just die, but I am feeling happier now, so stay strong :)

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Guest nne

Guest nne

Posted
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What do I need to look out for as my bf was tested postive recently?

 

By the way, we stay together.

hmm perhaps the specialist will let him know his cd4 level and viral load level...whether is it necessary to start on medication or not.....by right not supposed to hanky panky with ur other half but if u r willing to take the risk...protection is a must provided his viral load is non detectable....but I advise not to take the risk

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Enelym1978 Explorer

Enelym1978

Posted
Posted

hmm perhaps the specialist will let him know his cd4 level and viral load level...whether is it necessary to start on medication or not.....by right not supposed to hanky panky with ur other half but if u r willing to take the risk...protection is a must provided his viral load is non detectable....but I advise not to take the risk

 

By law, you must inform your partner about your status.

 

To the OP, know your risks, always do it protected, make some "sacrifices" and drop some more risky actions. Condoms for oral, anal, etc...

Poz people do not have the black plague. Do not cut him off your life (which I believe you are not doing, since you are asking this question).

 

He will for sure need a lot of moral support.

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Guest none

Guest none

Posted
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By law, you must inform your partner about your status.

 

To the OP, know your risks, always do it protected, make some "sacrifices" and drop some more risky actions. Condoms for oral, anal, etc...

Poz people do not have the black plague. Do not cut him off your life (which I believe you are not doing, since you are asking this question).

 

He will for sure need a lot of moral support.

 

since he already know his bf is recently tested positive....one way of showing support is perhaps going for medical appts together....find out the Dos and Donts together.....etc.....

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azuchan Newbie

azuchan

Posted
Posted

As you guys know, I just got diagnosed with HIV. Initially when I found out through anonymous testing, there were 2 thoughts in me: I kind of expecting it, and what am I going to do now.

I went into a depression for a few weeks, because of many things, but i realized one thing: if I don't look forward i'm just going to make things worse for myself. And I slowly made myself think more positively, and started to accept HIV as part of my life. I can even joke about my condition.

Just as an example, one of my medications can aggravate my depression and might even cause me to have suicidal thoughts. Thanks to my positive outlook, I haven't have any relapse of my depression at all.

I told a friend about my condition. I told her that I see my HIV condition like being an X-Man. I have something extra in me, and that extra thing gives me the opportunity to be special. My medication is actually Serum-X, and if I take them regularly I'll be a powerful mutant!

So thinking positively helps a lot with your wellness. You also help allay others' worries about your wellbeing. So everyone benefits.

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GachiMuchi Experienced

GachiMuchi

Posted
Posted (edited)

As you guys know, I just got diagnosed with HIV. Initially when I found out through anonymous testing, there were 2 thoughts in me: I kind of expecting it, and what am I going to do now.

I went into a depression for a few weeks, because of many things, but i realized one thing: if I don't look forward i'm just going to make things worse for myself. And I slowly made myself think more positively, and started to accept HIV as part of my life. I can even joke about my condition.

Just as an example, one of my medications can aggravate my depression and might even cause me to have suicidal thoughts. Thanks to my positive outlook, I haven't have any relapse of my depression at all.

I told a friend about my condition. I told her that I see my HIV condition like being an X-Man. I have something extra in me, and that extra thing gives me the opportunity to be special. My medication is actually Serum-X, and if I take them regularly I'll be a powerful mutant!

So thinking positively helps a lot with your wellness. You also help allay others' worries about your wellbeing. So everyone benefits.

Hugs!

 

Yes, you need to have positive thoughts (No punt intended) and be mindful of being negative so as to beat your depression.

 

Do share with us,

1. How do you deal with your sexual urge?

2. Do you disclose your HIV status to those you want to have sex?

3. Do you look for those with similar status as friends, fuck buddies?

4. Do you use condom in light of your conditions?

5. What would you say to those who practice unsafe sex?

 

Take care.

Edited by GachiMuchi

http://gachimuchi2008.blogspot.com

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azuchan Newbie

azuchan

Posted
Posted

1. I don't really have any sexual urges now. Maybe it's part of the side effects of the medication, I don't know. But I do know what living with HIV actually forces me to rethink what I really want: a moment of gratification, or a lifetime of intimacy. I think there's a clear answer right there.

2. I have decided to let people know about my HIV status before I even meet them for coffee. I want to be open and honest to people and lay all my cards on the table so that they can decide on whether they want to take the next step of getting to know me. It's also a way of protecting myself from prejudice and discrimination, and surrounding myself with people who understand the condition. I don't want to have people who cannot understand what living with HIV is about, as it will bring my forward outlook down.

3. I only know about 4 or 5 people living with HIV, and I'm only close to one of them. I'm slowly beginning to open up, but I am more discerning about the people I mix around with. But I welcome everyone as friends. As for fuck buddies, I'll cross that line when I come to it.

4. I used to put condoms as an option. It's a priority now. But I haven't had sex since I first got my anonymous result, so it's not really something I really sat down and think about it.

5. It's not up to me to tell others how they want to have sex. I give people the respect of their own choices. But I need to reiterate something very important to those who want to have unprotected sex: know your risks and take responsibility for your actions. I was mentally prepared when I decided to go bareback with some people, and I was more than ready to face the fact that I could get infected even as a top. If you want to do it, make sure you understand you most likely would be infected with HIV at some point in your life.

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Guest Guest

Guest Guest

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.....I know 2 couples who are/were in long term relationships(over 15 years) with one partner HIV+ and the other partner HIV-. 

.....For both couples, the fact that one partner was HIV+ never seemed to be an issue at all. They loved and cared for each other, took the necessary precautions, and carried on with life as normal as possible.

 

I know of several such "bipolar" couples some 5, 10, 30 years together.  It is bound to occur. None of the partners have converted so far.

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Walking Dead Newbie

Walking Dead

Posted
Posted

I know of several such "bipolar" couples some 5, 10, 30 years together.  It is bound to occur. None of the partners have converted so far.

 

The correct term is 'Serodisconcordant couples'. In theory it is still possible once the HIV+ half has managed to get the viral load under control so that the risk of infecting the partner is minimized. However I do believe it is still not 100% safe. Safe sex is still recommended in order to prevent infect the HIV-negative partner.

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azuchan Newbie

azuchan

Posted
Posted

Couples who are serodisconcordant need to be extremely aware and disciplined with their lives. Both partners need to be on medication. For the seropositive partner he needs to be on his HAART/AART without fail. For the seronegative partner he would be on PrEPs almost all the time.

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pallmall91 Newbie

pallmall91

Posted
Posted

I have been living with HIV for 3 years now and I have been doing fine so far, I just started on meds and my CD4 count went up and viral load went undetectable. I have been trying to find guys with HIV to talk and all.... Well, who else will know us better then what we are going through right? but then again, sometimes its quite frightening. It really is, i fear sometimes due to some mistakes, i accidentally infect my friends through sharing stuff(YES HIV doesnt spread that way) but its all fear. No one in my family knows. only some of my really really close friends... 

 

Im 22 btw.... talk to me?

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Guest Ken

Guest Ken

Posted
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Will jerking off together, like holding and masturbating both cocks together until both cum together, will infect? Say, if one is HIV+ and one is not, but there is semen from both cocks on each other's cocks?

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azuchan Newbie

azuchan

Posted
Posted (edited)

Are we able to share the same food with someone HIV positive? Like having meal together at the same table.

If it does not involve direct contact of bodily fluids, then it's perfectly alright.

E.g. direct blood transfusion, semen to blood in the anus, etc. The virus is actually very fragile and will die almost instantly when exposed to air. So sharing food, sharing toilets, etc., are not modes of transmission.

Edited by azuchan
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azuchan Newbie

azuchan

Posted
Posted

Will jerking off together, like holding and masturbating both cocks together until both cum together, will infect? Say, if one is HIV+ and one is not, but there is semen from both cocks on each other's cocks?

The virus can enter from microtears on the skin on the penis if you are being too rough. It can also enter the body via the urethra (peehole). However, it is considered lower risk compared to anal sex.

I cannot guarantee you won't be infected, but the chances are much much lower than getting fucked bareback and letting the top cum in you.

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Guest Low risk

Guest Low risk

Posted
Posted

Will we get infected by getting a hand job and a frech kiss lasted for a few seconds?

Very low risk. But note that "very low risk" is not the same as "zero risk". Only known zero risk method is to abstain from activities which result in exchange of bodily fluids.

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