Have U Had Such Feeling?

[Guest ke chuan (guest)]

The fact is i am PLU. When approached by PLUs, i feel uncomfortable. This is what some call "jian" (slut), delivered unstill doorstep also don't want. I had been to sauna about 10 times, only 2 occasions that i had s** ("liao lui", waste $). Still got 1 last visit pass, think i still go again.

First occasion, cornered by 2 guys in a maze (they are friends, realised later), was grateful to the 1 (not my type) who give me bj, followed him to a room. He wanted to top me, i rejected and had 69. Second, rubbed by a matured man in a maze, he turned around to hint to me to bareback him, no way. He passed me a condom and i used it. Tried to force it in but too tight and nervous, afraid the condom will break. Unfortunately, i c*mmed quick (pai sei), too bad uncle.

Got a sms from 1 of the staff, i was scared at first but he was irresitable that i replied. Think it is not professional of him to use my info but not angry. This is life, afterall anyone going there are PLUs and he is just too cute to get angry. However, nothing happened after that. We will wait and see.

I feel comfortable at sauna even at FMP (of course coverd the essential part with my hand). But i feel strange, everybody seems to enjoy themselves except me. Been touched by so many people but always reject them. Why? Have i not fully accept myself yet?

[BigBalls]

Maybe you have really not come to terms with your sexuality. It takes a while. Or maybe you feel 'cheap' by doing it in the sauna? I don't know. Years ago, when I first begin going to the sauna, I feel cheap too. But now have accepted that it is part of gay life. Enjoy yourself, but always be safe.

[sblue]

I think most people will want a nice stable relationship given a choice. I know I do. It's a sweeping statement i know but it's good be able to come back to someone who knows you and cares for you.

However, temptations abound in this circle we call PLUs. It's made more difficult in that the state does not recognise gay unions and gays don't have children as reasons to stay together for a long time.

Going to saunas does not mean that I don't want a relationship. As men, we all have our needs, i see the saunas as a way of addressing a physical need, not cheapening myself. Others may stay on their high horses but I don't care.

Can anything meaningful come out of such encounters? I don't know, I hope so but in saunas, perhaps not. At the very least, i've already taken care of my physical need and i am meeting other PLUs out there. Sometimes, friendships can form from such encouters, many times it's not possible. If it happens, good, if not, try again.

As gays, it's hard enough to get others to accept us and love us for what we are, why make it harder by looking down on yourself? Happiness is a choice, you can choose it

[clark]

Going to the sauna is a way of addressing a physical need, not cheapening myself.

Yes ! I agreed with you sblue.

After breaking off with my ex.I was sort of becoming a closet .Very down and depressed.

Going to sauna allow me to feel that I am "alive and wanted" .I can still live happily without him .

Recently,I met a guy from the sauna .

It seem that we click very well.In terms of interest etc..We chat over the phone nearly everyday.

But I still could not forget my ex.Or I do not wish to get hurt once again.

So I'm taking one step at a time.

I still go to the sauna to release my urge.

Of course , play safe

[skylancer]

Maybe u should ask urself wat u want in ur life? Wat is the goal in ur life? A BF who can give u a home feeling or just want to know how is aj life like>? Hmm For me, i just want to have someone who can stay with me thin and thick in my life...

Just think wat u want and wat u think is right... But pls play safe.. if u want to have fun only just play safe ok>? Condom.... hehee

[GachiMuchi]

Ke Chuan, I think you are feeling "jian" partly because you still have certain "Ideal" about what a relationship and love is about.

But your "Ideal" is pegged to what you have known since young; A Str8 Relationship; as in all the monogamy, boy meet girls, boy stay true to girl,etc. So going to sauna is like, "what the hell am I doing here"; "I can't be doing that, he is not someone I love", etc.

So, I think what you are looking for is not sex. Of course, sometimes, your other head takes over, then you feel guilty after what was done.

Well, most PLUs goes through some sort of struggle before they accept and forms a certain "accepted views" of what a PLU should/would or shouldn't/wouldn't do. But as to what is acceptable and to what extend, it would have to depend on the individuals and the trials and tribulations of their journey in life.

My advice is to keep and open mind. Learn from your experience and mistakes. Do not judge others and mostly, don't be too hard on yourself.

[Guest Yess]

Yes, have had the same feeling.... still do.

My ultimate goal is still to find my ideal one and live happily after! Till then, guess I'll still be satifying my "basic" needs in the safest way I noe!

Back to the suana....I tink it's double-edged. You can feel good if u get ur types there.....but not all of us are tat "upmarket" like most of u here! There are many who ended up feeling rejected and depressed coz they'ren't tat blessed. U can't help but feel so unwanted!

[GachiMuchi]

Back to the suana....I tink it's double-edged. You can feel good if u get ur types there.....but not all of us are tat "upmarket" like most of u here! There are many who ended up feeling rejected and depressed coz they'ren't tat blessed. U can't help but feel so unwanted!

Yess, you should not look at the cup as half empty.

You choose people. People also choose you. You reject people. People also can reject you. Each and everyone of us have our preference. Some like older, some like younger, some like muscle, and some like fats. Some are idealist, some are kinky, etc.

I do know that even those who are very good looking, muscular and popular can also fall out of love. Moreover not everyone liked muscle man.

I personally feel that although some, may feel "not blessed", I don't see that is a big problem. If it is a "problem" then maybe you should do something about it. Sure, you might not be that "up market" but that shouldn't make you feel "rejected" and "depressed". If every mature uncle feels that way, then there will be lots of rejected and depressed uncles all around, Str8 or PLU.

Mature men carry with them years of experience, they may have neglected "physical" aspect of their bodies, but certainly they have other areas which we can learn from. Don't you think so?

Everybody is in fair playing field when sex or love is concern. How you "market" yourself and what sort of "packaging" and how "real" is your "product" all depends on you, the manufacturer. No one owes you a living and, neither do you owe anyone.

[gruffman]

Gachi... spoken like a true blue mature man

But seriously, Gachi has a point about mature guys. They may not have youth on their side, but they carry with them a certain charisma that's built through years of experience... and thats something the younger folks will never have... till they grow older...

If u ask me, I'll choose a mature guy over a young twink anytime....

[Guest Guest]

The fact is i am PLU. When approached by PLUs, i feel uncomfortable. This is what some call "jian" (slut), delivered unstill doorstep also don't want. I had been to sauna about 10 times, only 2 occasions that i had s** ("liao lui", waste $). Still got 1 last visit pass, think i still go again.

First occasion, cornered by 2 guys in a maze (they are friends, realised later), was grateful to the 1 (not my type) who give me bj, followed him to a room. He wanted to top me, i rejected and had 69. Second, rubbed by a matured man in a maze, he turned around to hint to me to bareback him, no way. He passed me a condom and i used it. Tried to force it in but too tight and nervous, afraid the condom will break. Unfortunately, i c*mmed quick (pai sei), too bad uncle.

Got a sms from 1 of the staff, i was scared at first but he was irresitable that i replied. Think it is not professional of him to use my info but not angry. This is life, afterall anyone going there are PLUs and he is just too cute to get angry. However, nothing happened after that. We will wait and see.

I feel comfortable at sauna even at FMP (of course coverd the essential part with my hand). But i feel strange, everybody seems to enjoy themselves except me. Been touched by so many people but always reject them. Why? Have i not fully accept myself yet?

If you want a sexual *release* and casual, anonymous sex, go to a gay sauna. If you are looking for a relationship you should perhaps try a gay bar or advertise in the many Gay sites like Silverdaddy.

Unless you put your hook in the water, you will not catch any fish.

If saunas are not your thing, that's perfectly alright. I have met many PLUs who avoid the gay scene like the plague but yet manage to find their partners and lead happy fulfilled lives.

Luvsilver

[Guest Guest]

ke chuan (guest),

follow your hearts,don't force yourself to do something that you are uncomfortable

with,maybe you just waiting for the right time,right place & right person to come by,take it easy,leave all to fate,

[Guest Comfort]

If saunas are not your thing, that's perfectly alright. I have met many PLUs who avoid the gay scene like the plague but yet manage to find their partners and lead happy fulfilled lives.

Luvsilver

Tat's pretty comforting 2 learn....thx :thumb:

[Guest Sauna]

Back to the suana....I tink it's double-edged. You can feel good if u get ur types there.....but not all of us are tat "upmarket" like most of u here! There are many who ended up feeling rejected and depressed coz they'ren't tat blessed. U can't help but feel so unwanted!

Yess, you should not look at the cup as half empty.

You choose people. People also choose you. You reject people. People also can reject you. Each and everyone of us have our preference. Some like older, some like younger, some like muscle, and some like fats. Some are idealist, some are kinky, etc.

I do know that even those who are very good looking, muscular and popular can also fall out of love. Moreover not everyone liked muscle man.

I personally feel that although some, may feel "not blessed", I don't see that is a big problem. If it is a "problem" then maybe you should do something about it. Sure, you might not be that "up market" but that shouldn't make you feel "rejected" and "depressed". If every mature uncle feels that way, then there will be lots of rejected and depressed uncles all around, Str8 or PLU.

Mature men carry with them years of experience, they may have neglected "physical" aspect of their bodies, but certainly they have other areas which we can learn from. Don't you think so?

Everybody is in fair playing field when sex or love is concern. How you "market" yourself and what sort of "packaging" and how "real" is your "product" all depends on you, the manufacturer. No one owes you a living and, neither do you owe anyone.

Sauna is nothing but a meat market.....u compare meat 2 meat! Your inner beauty is not meant to be discovered there.

While we keep reading great sauna adventures here, it impt to note tat not all of us wld've them tat great. So if one is there for some solace, there always a chance you'll end up feeling worse (ie, rejected/depressed)....just be fore-warned!

[thaiboyz]

Remember saunas are places where one can relax, enjoy with friends and of course can be ended up with hot sessions. It is not a good place to find our life partner there. Just like the straight bars, where the straight men roamed. They are there to enjoy the company of those bar girls, very rarely they will fall for them. If you are uncomfortable in the sauna environment, you dun have to force yourself to be in it. Go somewhere else and make yourself happy in many other ways.

[GachiMuchi]

Sauna is nothing but a meat market.....u compare meat 2 meat! Your inner beauty is not meant to be discovered there.

While we keep reading great sauna adventures here, it impt to note tat not all of us wld've them tat great. So if one is there for some solace, there always a chance you'll end up feeling worse (ie, rejected/depressed)....just be fore-warned!

Remember saunas are places where one can relax, enjoy with friends and of course can be ended up with hot sessions. It is not a good place to find our life partner there. Just like the straight bars, where the straight men roamed. They are there to enjoy the company of those bar girls, very rarely they will fall for them. If you are uncomfortable in the sauna environment, you dun have to force yourself to be in it. Go somewhere else and make yourself happy in many other ways.

Yes, it is true to say that sauna is nothing but a meat market, but then again. I've met my 2nd & 3rd ex in sauna and which subsequently lead to us being together. I am not sure if my case is unique when compare to the general population. But it did happen.

Why is that you are able to meet and develop relationship from pubs and MRT, etc. but not from sauna? Why is there a stereotype on views on saunas? Meeting can be anywhere but then, whether anything developed after that, still depends on individuals and the chemistry they have doesn't it?

[Guest Guest]

gachi_muchi,but again,that type of relationship don't even last long right?I believe that what he want is not a game,is a kind of true relationship that last,not a year or two or even open relationship later,is a guy that can trust & share,not flirt or slut

[Guest Luvsilver]

gachi_muchi asked...

"Why is that you are able to meet and develop relationship from pubs and MRT, etc. but not from sauna? Why is there a stereotype on views on saunas? Meeting can be anywhere but then, whether anything developed after that, still depends on individuals and the chemistry they have doesn't it?"

........................

Theoretically, you can meet your soul-mate and life partner anywhere. However, I disagree that it's a stereotype view of saunas. It's a place for ANONYMOUS, casual sex and odds are against any sort of *friendship* to develop, let alone a relationship.

In England where I used to work, saunas are famous as places for married bi-men to get their rocks off and getting sexual release in an anonymous setting before going home to their wives. I did meet one very cute, widower silverfox with whom I subsequenlty developed a relationship until my return to Singapore. However, that's pretty rare. Very often you just make eye contact, go into a private cubicle, cum and go without so much as a hello although I always say "thank you".;-) Or take part in an orgy in one of the dark, bigger rooms for group sex - if that's your preference - and then somebody cums and then another and soon the group disperses into the shadows ... in anonymity.

If you are looking for sex, go to a sauna. If you are looking for love, you are looking at the wrong place.

Luvsilver

[Guest Guest]

"that type of relationship don't even last long right?I believe that what he want is not a game, is a kind of true relationship that last, not a year or two or even open relationship later,is a guy that can trust & share, not flirt or slut"

I believe you mean an "open relationship" when you say "that type of relationship". I thought like you not that long ago, however, I have since come across a few successful "open relationships" and realise that it's "horses for courses". It works for some people, evidently.

Personally, I believe in a monogamous relationship and don't think I can share my special someone with anyone else. Good luck and double happiness to those who can.

Luvsilver

[GachiMuchi]

Guest, your meaning of long lasting is very subjective. Anyway, both my 2nd and 3rd r/ship lasted about 2 yrs +. I think we each have our views about what is right and wrong, what can or cannot do when in a r/ship, so I dun want to argue. To each his own.

Luvsilver, exactly my point; A relationship Do and Can develop from meeting in a sauna, however improbable or rare it may be. As to how long it will last and what happens after, it all depends on the individuals.

[Guest Luvsilver]

"Luvsilver, exactly my point; A relationship Do and Can develop from meeting in a sauna, however improbable or rare it may be. As to how long it will last and what happens after, it all depends on the individuals."

.........................

I'll put in context of this thread ... as per the originator's post. Just what are you looking for?

If you know the type of fish you want you have to know where to cast your net or hook. No point to cast in fresh water when it's a salt water fish you are after. Although at the river estuaries by the sea, you might exceptionally and accidently get what you want. Still it would mostly be a waste of your time. Play the odds and use a little common sense.

As for longevity in a relationship that's another thread altogether...

Luvsilver

[Guest Btm Uncle]

I am like represent that matured man who passed him a condom and get fxxked openly in the maze. Yeah some people call us jian but don't worry we not angry we used to it already. why do you think there are always people like us providing services?

You think we have no business? Actually we got plenty business from exhibitionists, show-off fxxkers, shy easy newbies, people who want quick fxxk and run no need to cruise. So good business that usually I get at least 3 fxxks every time. We are the ones usually to get people excited because we always no t shy to start sex by offering to service the shy ones. When one start and the others watch soon another join in. Then I get passed to the next man.

Of course I not looking for relationship. Honest who want bf who just got fxxked by 3 men openly? But you all also know people go sauna is not good boy type so don't pot call kettle black

At best I got a few times got booked by visitors to go their hotel rooms to service them.

[GachiMuchi]

I'll put in context of this thread ... as per the originator's post. Just what are you looking for?

If you know the type of fish you want you have to know where to cast your net or hook. No point to cast in fresh water when it's a salt water fish you are after. Although at the river estuaries by the sea, you might exceptionally and accidently get what you want. Still it would mostly be a waste of your time. Play the odds and use a little common sense.

Haha...Luvsilver, I did not go to sauna with an intention to find a bf. I was there to quench my thirst and I wasn't even looking, but things sort of developed. 無心栽柳..柳成陰. So, when it happens...it happens. When you are with someone and when things seems right, why not.

[Guest Luvsiver]

> Haha...Luvsilver, I did not go to sauna with an intention to find a bf.

I was referirng to the originator's intention ... not yours.

Luvsilver

[Guest ke chuan]

Luvsilver, I wrote to a thread like this when i got high or rather drunk, so i can speak from my heart. I am struggling like most PLUs.

Thanks to many replies i got. Everyone has a point or two. All have a kind heart.

First, i do not feel cheap or call anyone cheap (btm uncle). Note that i did not approach anyone at sauna but approached by them and rejected them. I may be there to test market and see where i stand. An attractive one or not. The answer i got is, i am attractive to some. Not the whole world lah, lol. Afterall, love one whole heartedly is only one, love two, you get two. Gachi, you can get 3rd, 4th, am i right. Who cares, as long as you get someone. And see, that is sauna.

I realised that i am there to find my identity, gay or not. Doing 69 or anal does not made you any gayer. Gay is just gay nothing to explain.

And yes, i am looking for love, man or woman. Love is something you can share even your bf/gf looking for something fresh, if he/she loves you, he/she will be back home. All i can say that i am looking for love, i want someone to love me. Sauna is not a place to look for love but for S**. Only lucky one and those reading this thread will find it.

[GachiMuchi]

Haha..Luvsilver..sorry..I mistaken.

Ke Chuan, wah...you stalking me ah, otherwise how come u know I can get 3rd or 4th? :whistle: Usually I aim for one only lah. 3rd and 4th, cannot tahan lah. One nite cannot come so much, can go blind one you know. hahaha

So did you find out what your identity is yet?

As for love, 有就有, 沒有就沒有. 有些事情是不能急的. If it is yours, it will be yours. 是你的就是你的. 命里有時終需有, 命里無時莫強求.

[WantMatureChub]

Like what many have written in this forum, saunas are probably not a place where you look for love although there are exceptional cases.

Many have advised to adopt a 'wait and the right one will come along' approach. The question is how long? I'm already 30+ and still waiting.

If saunas are not the right avenue where you can sought love, then where else? I hate to leave my happiness in the hands of fate. The clock is clicking and I would like to adopt a more proactive approach.

[thaiboyz]

Like what many have written in this forum, saunas are probably not a place where you look for love although there are exceptional cases.

Many have advised to adopt a 'wait and the right one will come along' approach. The question is how long? I'm already 30+ and still waiting.

If saunas are not the right avenue where you can sought love, then where else? I hate to leave my happiness in the hands of fate. The clock is clicking and I would like to adopt a more proactive approach.

To add on, Saunas are place for us to relieve our loads, just to be direct. Well, there might be few rare cases when two strangers became couples. I have known one couple got into courtship after meeting in saunas. But they have gone into open relationship after a short while. Believe people will go back to where it has originated. Since they have started in saunas, they will end up in saunas too.

Perhaps the most ideal way to know your love is thru friends, but its hard nowadays, as good one will be taken first..haha..be realistic lah. Unless your very good friend, who is sincerely want to introduce his friend to you, has already got himself one. The other way, might be via chat rooms or those gay channels..such as sgboys, Fridae etc.

[Guest Luvsilver]

Like what many have written in this forum, saunas are probably not a place where you look for love although there are exceptional cases.

Many have advised to adopt a 'wait and the right one will come along' approach. The question is how long? I'm already 30+ and still waiting.

If saunas are not the right avenue where you can sought love, then where else? I hate to leave my happiness in the hands of fate. The clock is clicking and I would like to adopt a more proactive approach.

WantMatureChub,

I believe if it's a relationship you are after your odds are better if you tried the *dating* sites

Surf below to give you an idea.

http://www.silverdaddies.com/

http://www.guys4men.com/logged_out.php

http://www.graygay.com/index.html?links_lists.htm

Graygay has a very good section on the dos and don'ts of setting up your profile and how to put up a good advert for best results.

Meanwhile, there is nothing wrong in going to saunas to get sexual release ... until your man comes along. A simple rule you must remember - unless you put your hook in the water you WILL NOT catch any fish. ;-) You have to kiss many frogs before one turns into that Prince Charming of your dreams. Enjoy the journey along the way.:-)

Good luck and be happy.

Luvsilver

[Guest believer]

not sure if i am in the right context to contribute to this thread. the discussion has become very interesting and soul provoking.

i always believe that love is every where. it is always our perception that lust resides in saunas, pubs, toilets [just naming a few] and love is near impossible or even exist in such places. when a thought energy is echoed and shared with the masses, these places will just become it. perception is a strong psychological factor - negativity begets negativity and so does a positive mind will attract positive things.

we go to these places for a reason. it justifies one's desire to fulfil his purpose. unfortunately, many of us are not aware of what we truly want, though we often insist that we know it. love does not come unexpectedly; it's always our 'ego' that send it off.

we heard of relationships that don't last between couples meeting in such places, but surely, there are many more relationships that are working strong. i believe in a paradigm shift when one has met someone in such places - relationship is like a building a house where we just have to focus and putting our energy for a stronger living environment. we discuss, argue and compromise for all the right elements but importantly, it is about making-it-together.

where ever we choose to be, for that fun or seeking partnership, let us be honest with our purpose. and when we are in that environment, just be our true self and enjoy what the place has got to offer. in life, everything that is to happen, is always for good reasons.

cheers.

[WantMatureChub]

Luvsilver and thaiboyz...thks for the advice.

[GachiMuchi]

Many have advised to adopt a 'wait and the right one will come along' approach. The question is how long? I'm already 30+ and still waiting.

If saunas are not the right avenue where you can sought love, then where else? I hate to leave my happiness in the hands of fate. The clock is clicking and I would like to adopt a more proactive approach.

守株待兔. (waiting near the tree for the rabbit) Is not the way to get Mr. Right You have to go out to meet people, get online, etc. As to how and where, it is up to individuals, which ever you are comfortable with.

Using Technology is good way, as suggested by Luvsilver, but yet, there are many people not making use of it, or are living in FEAR of Technology.

Then there are those who are desperate. Desperation makes one fall prey to cheats whose only objective is to give those desperate PLUs the illusion of being loved and, in the end, cheats them of $$$ and love (人財兩空) , some lost more than $$ and love. :swear: I believe many may have friends or people you know or are themselves victims or heard stories about what I've just mentioned.

I think, as long as one makes an effort to go out and meet people, and takes time to get to know them, and not jumping into a r/ship just because "I'm lonely, I need someone" and are realistic with expectations (what you can offer and what others can give). Relationship; if it's going to happen, will happen.

So, WantMaturChub, dun just sit there, go out and do something about it!

[Guest Guest_tad]

Many have advised to adopt a 'wait and the right one will come along' approach. The question is how long? I'm already 30+ and still waiting.

i used to think this way too

sit and wait but its not easy my friend

open yourself and meet peoples who knows he is somewhere

life is short ,do what you think right :thumb:

cheers

[newguy2l]

From my personal experience - a lot of men do want more than jsut a ONS after meeting and enjoying ourselves in a sauna. Why else would they pester me for my phone no . Why else would they ask when can they meet me again.

So the answer to ur question is yes - u can meet someone for a LTR in a sauna.

But u must also show off ur positive side there too.

If you are reasonably attractive show your charming personality too.

If you act like a cold fish, stand aloof like a ice queen - I am afraid u are going to be left out and alone.

But sorry to all those trying to get me for more than a ONS

I am a bi married and I am available only when u get to see me.

Absolutely no strings attached - even when so tempted

yes - I am also sorry sometimes for letting that hunk go

but thats life and there is always a next time

[hot_soup69]

newguy2l,i strongly disagree with what you say,even they ask for your nos does not mean anything,sometimes even those guys that i never fun with passed me their mobil nos,don't think too much.

Asking numbers or people give you their contact nos in sauna is so common,they find you sexy at that moment & maybe they enjoy having sex with you,that's nothing to do with love or even like,most people after 2nd or third times will sick of that already

Many times the feeling you towards a guy inside & outside the sauna is totally different,you may think that the guy very gd looking or sexy when you saw him him in the sauna esp if the light is dim,but when you meet him outside again,you will regret meeting up,believe happen to many people here,my frds told me alot of their encounters,so....Luckily i never