I feel so Stressed! I want to enjoy good life but I don't want to give my parents $500 per month

[yokohamajin]

-

Edited June 23, 2017 by yokohamajin

[Guest ASFF]

I am against the Asian traditional "filial" "unfilial" culture that forces adult children to give their parents money. And I find it ridiculous and shameless for parents to demand monthly allowances from their children as a form of "gratitude payment" or "investment payment". I am a European/American/Japanese when it comes to this regard.

 

1, Your children are not your investments, they are not your slaves, they are not obliged to owe you a living.

 

2, You are no angel and no loving by raising your own children, if you are, why don't you feed the orphans from orphanage. 

 

3, Real love doesn't demand payback, it means giving unconditionally, I love cats, I feed the cats unconditionally, I don't ask the cat to give me back money or food.

 

4, Companionship of children is already of a form of pay back for your money of raising them, children bring joy and laughter to you, adding colours to your life, researches have shown that people with children generally live 9 years longer.

 

5, Whether adult children should give their parents money should not be a moral or legal issue, it should be optional. If you are good, nice, I don't see why your children wouldn't want to give you money.

 

6, The "filial" culture system is rubbish, so if you are a beggar, you make 100 babies, all of them are obliged to give you money when you are old? Then you become millionaire already. Because of this culture, see how populated China has become, if not because the China government's policy restricting how many children you can have, I think the world would be overpopulated with Chinese pretty fast and the natural environment deteriorates and becomes unsustainable and unlivable pretty fast. When Westerners don't like children, they simply don't reproduce. Chinese people still reproduce even when they hate children, end up scolding or beating the children everyday, what's the point?

 

 

Unfortunately, I think I will become an "unfilial" son in the future, according to Chinese or Asian standard.

 

My father never gave me any pocket money, my mother stopped giving me pocket money after O'level.

 

My mother asked me to drop out when I was in JC, I didn't receive any money from then onwards, she didn't pay for my Uni education, she was indeed reluctant. I paid everything by myself.

 

You may have good parents, but my parents are vile people, scumbags, douchbags quality people. They disgust me. It's like going to school, does every student who goes to Raffles Institution deserves a PSC scholarship? No, you have to earn it.

 

Of course I wouldn't mind giving them money even if they are millionaires IF they are nice people. But unfortunately they are not.

 

Bad people don't deserve my money, I'm sorry.

 

If I were to die tomorrow, I would leave all my money to charity, I won't leave a single cent for them.

 

Sorry, I don't want to be an unfilial son according to Asian culture too. But giving money to evil people troubles me more.

[BLKNIP]

In some ways I understand your frustration. You are a young man trying to make a name for himself to get ahead. That being said, it might be helpful to consider the $500 as a housing expense and move forward. The more emotional stress you put into this issue will only create bad vibes. 

When you are networking and dining with people you want to impress, it's not your clothes or the expensive wine that you order...it's no physical trait that influencers look for. We look for confidence, honesty, inner peace, the ability to fit into our team and the actual value you might bring to our organization. But I for one, definitely can detect a selfish materialistic drama queen from a mile away and I pass on that person every time. Don't be that person. 

Recalculate your finances. Accept your situation at home, seek peace and then go out and conquer the world. 

[Guest farkupOP]

trolll.. if u can obstinately insist the extravagant amount u spend on wasteful activitites is reasonable, then why are u complaining that your parenta asking for living allowance way less than your spending to be unreasonable? pls look in the mirror

[Leanmeat]

On ‎23‎/‎6‎/‎2017 at 5:58 PM, Guest ASFF said:

I am against the Asian traditional "filial" "unfilial" culture that forces adult children to give their parents money. And I find it ridiculous and shameless for parents to demand monthly allowances from their children as a form of "gratitude payment" or "investment payment". I am a European/American/Japanese when it comes to this regard.

 

1, Your children are not your investments, they are not your slaves, they are not obliged to owe you a living.

 

2, You are no angel and no loving by raising your own children, if you are, why don't you feed the orphans from orphanage. 

 

3, Real love doesn't demand payback, it means giving unconditionally, I love cats, I feed the cats unconditionally, I don't ask the cat to give me back money or food.

 

4, Companionship of children is already of a form of pay back for your money of raising them, children bring joy and laughter to you, adding colours to your life, researches have shown that people with children generally live 9 years longer.

 

5, Whether adult children should give their parents money should not be a moral or legal issue, it should be optional. If you are good, nice, I don't see why your children wouldn't want to give you money.

 

6, The "filial" culture system is rubbish, so if you are a beggar, you make 100 babies, all of them are obliged to give you money when you are old? Then you become millionaire already. Because of this culture, see how populated China has become, if not because the China government's policy restricting how many children you can have, I think the world would be overpopulated with Chinese pretty fast and the natural environment deteriorates and becomes unsustainable and unlivable pretty fast. When Westerners don't like children, they simply don't reproduce. Chinese people still reproduce even when they hate children, end up scolding or beating the children everyday, what's the point?

 

 

Unfortunately, I think I will become an "unfilial" son in the future, according to Chinese or Asian standard.

 

My father never gave me any pocket money, my mother stopped giving me pocket money after O'level.

 

My mother asked me to drop out when I was in JC, I didn't receive any money from then onwards, she didn't pay for my Uni education, she was indeed reluctant. I paid everything by myself.

 

You may have good parents, but my parents are vile people, scumbags, douchbags quality people. They disgust me. It's like going to school, does every student who goes to Raffles Institution deserves a PSC scholarship? No, you have to earn it.

 

Of course I wouldn't mind giving them money even if they are millionaires IF they are nice people. But unfortunately they are not.

 

Bad people don't deserve my money, I'm sorry.

 

If I were to die tomorrow, I would leave all my money to charity, I won't leave a single cent for them.

 

Sorry, I don't want to be an unfilial son according to Asian culture too. But giving money to evil people troubles me more.

 

On Number 3.

Real love give unconditionally. Such love only parents will give. A love between couple is never unconditional. The loving back itself is a condition.

 

[Guest 70后]

i think this is his upbringing issue, parents never teach him properly when young. groomed a spoilt brat, now all (son and parents) suffer loh...

[auscent]

My parents never insisted but i give them 10% of my pay. Doesnt matter our relationship is stormy.

 

We're not a rich family. But i remembered when my dad took us to a revolving restaurant in Hong Kong. All ordered food except dad saying he is not hungry. When i couldnt finish my food he helped me finish it. Thats when i realised he prob couldnt afford it.

 

 

[Anderson]

He should also stop stressing his parents too.

He should move out asap and stay on his own, better still, sever all ties with family and he should remember not to take any thing with him when moving out.

This way he can spend all his money at will.

[Steve5380]

On 6/25/2017 at 9:39 PM, auscent said:

We're not a rich family. But i remembered when my dad took us to a revolving restaurant in Hong Kong. All ordered food except dad saying he is not hungry. When i couldnt finish my food he helped me finish it. Thats when i realised he prob couldnt afford it.

 

Thank the Universe for having given you the opportunity to observe the attitude of your father.  It doesn't matter the relationship is stormy. You know who he is.

[Steve5380]

On 6/23/2017 at 4:58 AM, Guest ASFF said:

4, Companionship of children is already of a form of pay back for your money of raising them, children bring joy and laughter to you, adding colours to your life, researches have shown that people with children generally live 9 years longer.

 

5, Whether adult children should give their parents money should not be a moral or legal issue, it should be optional. If you are good, nice, I don't see why your children wouldn't want to give you money.

-----

 

Unfortunately, I think I will become an "unfilial" son in the future, according to Chinese or Asian standard.

 

My father never gave me any pocket money, my mother stopped giving me pocket money after O'level.

 

My mother asked me to drop out when I was in JC, I didn't receive any money from then onwards, she didn't pay for my Uni education, she was indeed reluctant. I paid everything by myself.

 

You may have good parents, but my parents are vile people, scumbags, douchbags quality people. They disgust me. It's like going to school, does every student who goes to Raffles Institution deserves a PSC scholarship? No, you have to earn it.

 

Of course I wouldn't mind giving them money even if they are millionaires IF they are nice people. But unfortunately they are not.

 

Bad people don't deserve my money, I'm sorry.

 

If I were to die tomorrow, I would leave all my money to charity, I won't leave a single cent for them.

 

Sorry, I don't want to be an unfilial son according to Asian culture too. But giving money to evil people troubles me more.

 

There are children and children.  Not all parents are blessed with those who bring joy, laughter, pride.

 

If supporting parents is not a moral issue, what is it?  The most you can say is that there are no fixed rules.

 

In your particular case you have good reasons to not be a caregiver to your parents.

 

BUT more often than not the opposite is true:  Thankless children who don't recognize what their parents did for them.  This is natural, because to recognize this  it helps to be a parent ourselves and experience in our own flesh the situation of being a parent.  Most gays will never be parents and will not have such experience.

 

So it makes sense that a minimum of decency dictates that one should support one's parents IF IN NEED.

 

 

[Guest Gas]

Ultimately "heart" is very important,A person will be very willingly to give money to their parents if they have heart for your parents, and luckily most of the people here do have heart for their parents,

 

For people who said that they did not ask to be born, do you have such thinking when you are having a good time of your life or when you are getting a good fucx from somebody.

 

Life is a mix of enjoyment and suffering. Don't blame your parents for bringing you to this world when you are suffering as you did not thank them when you are enjoying your life.

[mantin30]

1 hour ago, Guest Gas said:

Ultimately "heart" is very important,A person will be very willingly to give money to their parents if they have heart for your parents, and luckily most of the people here do have heart for their parents,

 

For people who said that they did not ask to be born, do you have such thinking when you are having a good time of your life or when you are getting a good fucx from somebody.

 

Life is a mix of enjoyment and suffering. Don't blame your parents for bringing you to this world when you are suffering as you did not thank them when you are enjoying your life.

to be honest, although I did not blame my parents, but I really wish that I wasn't born. I rather not to be born just to enjoy that "fucking" good time. That's why is really good that I'm not straight cause I might get married and repeat the cycle again and again. cause there will a part of me in my children that will ask why I was born into this cruel world. What is the purpose of life? to study, study, study, tuition, tuition, tuition, fight for job, backstabbed by people in office, tackle politic in office, worrying about losing your job esp when getting older, worrying about not being smart enough, worrying about sleeping under bridge when getting older, worrying have to collect cardboard, collect dishes, washing dishes and tending the toilet when getting older.

 

Did I enjoy my life? no.

[Guest happybtm]

10 hours ago, mantin30 said:

to be honest, although I did not blame my parents, but I really wish that I wasn't born. I rather not to be born just to enjoy that "fucking" good time. That's why is really good that I'm not straight cause I might get married and repeat the cycle again and again. cause there will a part of me in my children that will ask why I was born into this cruel world. What is the purpose of life? to study, study, study, tuition, tuition, tuition, fight for job, backstabbed by people in office, tackle politic in office, worrying about losing your job esp when getting older, worrying about not being smart enough, worrying about sleeping under bridge when getting older, worrying have to collect cardboard, collect dishes, washing dishes and tending the toilet when getting older.

 

Did I enjoy my life? no.

 i think you don't know how to enjoy your life.

u have listed a lot of your negative points, can u list out a few positive ones in your life?

don't study and don't work then what you wanna do? do nothing is what you enjoy?

go find someone to love

 

船到桥头自然直

you will know or learn how to tend a toilet if you need to.

[mantin30]

3 minutes ago, Guest happybtm said:

 i think you don't know how to enjoy your life.

u have listed a lot of your negative points, can u list out a few positive ones in your life?

don't study and don't work then what you wanna do? do nothing is what you enjoy?

go find someone to love

 

船到桥头自然直

you will know or learn how to tend a toilet if you need to.

I have studied all my life. I didn't see it as a chores. I'm a straight A students in my school times. Top three students in my school. I'm a second upper class honour. But all these means nothing when it comes to work. at least for me. I really don't know how to tackle human relationship being at work or outside. Study is so much easier where you just write your answer from what you have been memorised on the exam paper. In working life, I'm sucks. I'm so exhausted tackling human relationship and I'm not Mr perfect also. My human relationship with others is in a mess. I'm really so tired.

 

I'm starting to learn online business to breakaway from this cruel corporate world.

 

I have resigned from my previous work with no backup of new job. I worked as part time dishwasher, home cleaner and massager. is not that I despise that kind of job but I really don't want to end up working as toilet tender. Its so pathetic.

[abang]

十年树木， 百年树人。。

Afforestation may take 10 years to have another tree but it takes a hundred years to teach a human.  Seriously if you think your life sucks, then consider those without paper qualification, living from pay checks to pay checks, living in mickey-mouse size housing and have a loveless life (from family and friends).  

 

We have a choice - to whine or to rewrite the outcomes of our lives.  No one promises us a bed of roses and clear blue skies everyday.  Just tell ourselves tomorrow will be better 明天会更好 if and only if, we give it a shot.

 

[mantin30]

2 minutes ago, abang said:

十年树木， 百年树人。。

Afforestation may take 10 years to have another tree but it takes a hundred years to teach a human.  Seriously if you think your life sucks, then consider those without paper qualification, living from pay checks to pay checks, living in mickey-mouse size housing and have a loveless life (from family and friends).  

 

We have a choice - to whine or to rewrite the outcomes of our lives.  No one promises us a bed of roses and clear blue skies everyday.  Just tell ourselves tomorrow will be better 明天会更好 if and only if, we give it a shot.

 

I feel them. I have met a lot of them in my course of work/part time work. I met one engineer who got retrenched in his 40s and still not being able to find job and now doing part time steward. I met aunty/uncles who get paid 8 dollars/hr and I get paid 10dollars/hr for doing same part time dish washing. I feel them when their wages are being suppressed. and they are not doing any lesser than me. but that doesn't mean my life cannot be sucks. Each of our life sucks in our own way. I did not ever think that my life is sucker than them. Their life sucks and my life too.

 

and because of all these worries and don't want to end up like them (like I said not because I despise that kind of jobs but its just pathetic) that's why I made a choice.

 

Yes. I made a choice. if you read my above reply. I'm learning to start online business and seeing some small results. I crafted my own career which suited to myself. I don't want to tell myself again (like ten years ago) that I will be good in.....

 

and I did not expect anyone to give me roses or blue sky everyday. nobody owes me anything.

 

I posted my reply with specifically to this statement:

 

"For people who said that they did not ask to be born, do you have such thinking when you are having a good time of your life or when you are getting a good fucx from somebody.

Life is a mix of enjoyment and suffering. Don't blame your parents for bringing you to this world when you are suffering as you did not thank them when you are enjoying your life. "

 

1. Yes. I'm still have this thinking. (refer to no 3)

2. and I don't think anyone will call their parents and say: "Mom I have just been screwed. Thanks for bringing me into this world"

3. Did I enjoy (have a good time of) my life: No and I still wish not to be born.

 

 

and I really wish that time that the 2012 end of the world will be coming true. so I die and everyone die. So I will not be leaving my parents behind.

 

 

 

 

 

[ivanl]

On 5/14/2017 at 9:11 PM, Guest Guest said:

I worked for  few years now and I am so stressed at work and after work. Its always about money money and money.

 

My parents demand money from me every month. I feel they are taking adventage of me. Every month they will constantly demand $500 from me. 

 

I explaines to them that ny salary is only so little, after deducting my daily expenses:

 

1-transport to work and home $30

2-lunch and dinne4 $30

3-misc $20

 

Those alone work out to at least $2400 a month

 

Monthly expenses:

1-monile/wifi-$200

2-grooming -$60

3-entertainment(movies/clubs/dinners)-$800

4-travel fund-$300

5-clothing fund-$200

6-laundry-$100

7-transport-$200

8-misc-$400

 

Above come out to at least $1800.

 

So my monthly expenses comes out to above $4000! And I have yet to enjoy myself! I have no money for expensive things.

 

I feel so stressed out at the constant raising expenses of staying in Singapore as everything is so expensive! 

 

I tried to explain this to my parents but they do not care and demand $500 from me. I feel this is too much. I told them the government supressed salaries by bringing in so many FTs that our singaporean salaries is suppressed. I do not have a car or an expensive watch. I only can afford to travel 2 times a year. What kind of life are we singaporeans living and yet our parents are adding this extra stressed on us. Why are parents like this! I told them that do not be so money faced but they scold me! I cannot believe it! They took my money thats why I do not have extra money to move out! 

 

Any other guys with such u reasonable parents? How did you overcome such unreasonable behaviour? No wonder I am gay as it made me turned off by woman! So money faced.

 

 

 

I'm going to assume you're not a troll and respond accordingly.

My current income is less than your "monthly expenses" and I still manage to give my parents $500 a month while saving at least 30% my salary on average. (I still get to go overseas at least once a year, maybe even twice if economy is good...)

It's very simple. Do you want to spend, or do you want to give $$ to your parents?

Things like clubbing, movies are entertainment (lol "I have yet to enjoy myself"... if you go clubbing and don't enjoy yourself why you go clubbing?) are not necessary expenses unless you think they are. They are luxuries. If you want to enjoy them, it just means you prefer to enjoy yourself over returning money to your parents. That's fine, but don't complain when your parents make noise. Cannot afford expensive things, don't buy. You don't need expensive things lol. You buying diamond rings for yourself is it?

When you were growing up, your parents took care of you. Made your food. Bought your diapers. Held your hand when you were scared. Patched you up when you got scrapes and bruises. I assume they drove you to school. Did your laundry. You didn't mention rent - are you still living with them? Giving them back $500 a month is the minimum you should do.

I know I have never tasted adversity. I know plenty of people who have had a worse life than I do. I know people who have to work 2 jobs. I know people who are supporting their entire family when in their late 20's.

I smell a spoilt rich kid with no sense of gratitude. And it stinks.

 

Edited July 1, 2017 by ivanl

[abang]

Yes I do agree that under-employment is becoming the norms nowadays.

More people are holding "Useless" paper qualifications and they are working in jobs that DO NOT require such qualifications.  In addition to the proliferation of diplomas and degrees here, I sincerely hope we don't end up exporting ourselves as domestic helper overseas..

[Steve5380]

8 hours ago, mantin30 said:

I have studied all my life. I didn't see it as a chores. I'm a straight A students in my school times. Top three students in my school. I'm a second upper class honour. But all these means nothing when it comes to work. at least for me. I really don't know how to tackle human relationship being at work or outside. Study is so much easier where you just write your answer from what you have been memorised on the exam paper. In working life, I'm sucks. I'm so exhausted tackling human relationship and I'm not Mr perfect also. My human relationship with others is in a mess. I'm really so tired.

 

You are like some of us who were raised with the idea that intellectual excellency is what counts in life while human relationships are something secondary that does not warrant much attention.  Maybe this is an inborn inclination, but I believe it has more to do with the values we inherit from our family, parents. Unless we are sufficiently smart in our intellectual skills, this is a DEFICIENCY that can cut deeply into our satisfaction with life.  

 

Hopefully you are young enough that corrective action comes in time to bring your happiness again into the positive and you can accomplish overall success. I was lucky that my professional skills allowed me to maintain a decent career in spite of my poor human relationship skills, and now in retirement I am financially independent.  I still wish I had found a way to improve my human relationships earlier in life, but I have accomplished it nonetheless.

 

How to improve "human relations"?  My first step, mostly because I always felt like a weak person, was to divert some attention from my technical work to take up exercising.  Aerobics, weight lifting.  I made some progress with this, although exercising in itself is not much "human relations" unless one participates in a competitive sport, and I never had had any interest for that.  So for many years the "care for my human body" balanced out the intellectual in me and made me stronger.  Only a few years ago I decided to look for some type of exercising that would be more social, and I found something that is changing my life:  a martial art.

 

I have mentioned this before in this forum and I repeat it again:  a martial art like Aikido is one of the best things we can do for our body and soul.  It is a serious discipline that has practical value while it can be very social.  It is practiced with a partner and it is not competitive. We are not confronted with the partner but we learn together the techniques.  If we let the child in us go back to infancy and learn "to play together", and we put intellect aside and accept the formalities like bowing and memorize Japanese names without prejudice, if we accept to start at the bottom and respect those above us, if we learn to play down the ego and let ourselves grow, the results can be very positive. The philosophy of this art leads to self control, respect, and it is improbable that any "aikidoka" ever gets involved in a street fight.  The skills to prevail in any confrontation are mostly tools for self confidence and assertiveness.  I have been learning Aikido consistently for close to three years, and I don't think I will ever give it up. The "dojo" I go to is a very social group, we have a test (review, exhibition of skills) every month followed with a party at the adjacent home of the "sensei".  This is the fist time in my life that I feel identified with a large group of people I can feel as friends.  The teacher, "sensei", is close to a guru.  I am over 70 y. o.,  and if I had found this 20 or 30 years ago I would be at the top of the world.

[Steve5380]

7 hours ago, mantin30 said:

I posted my reply with specifically to this statement:

 

"For people who said that they did not ask to be born, do you have such thinking when you are having a good time of your life or when you are getting a good fucx from somebody. Life is a mix of enjoyment and suffering. Don't blame your parents for bringing you to this world when you are suffering as you did not thank them when you are enjoying your life. "

 

1. Yes. I'm still have this thinking. (refer to no 3)

2. and I don't think anyone will call their parents and say: "Mom I have just been screwed. Thanks for bringing me into this world"

3. Did I enjoy (have a good time of) my life: No and I still wish not to be born.

 

 

There is a principle of cause and effect.  To WISH, to ASK, we necessarily have to be BORN.

There is no such thing as "I didn't ASK to be BORN".  This does not make sense.

And it does not make sense to blame parents for being born.  They did not "wish to be born" either, and... they didn't chose US.  They may have wished to make a baby, but WE are what unexpectedly and involuntarily came out of that! 

 

You may not have a full idea of how much life SUCKS!  The life we were given is utmost injustice!  This injustice we share with all living creatures.

This injustice is in that most probably at our unavoidable death we return to what we were before, that is, NOTHING!

One can of course have faith in religious fantasies, and believe in an afterlife of heaven or hell.

In this area, I think Buddhism is the most positive speculation with its karma and reincarnation.

As an agnostic I don't believe what is illogical, questionable. In the meantime, I feel that we don't owe GRATITUDE to any supernatural.

 

So life SUCKS!,  but it is a mistake to make this into a justification for being miserable.

If we love ourselves as we should, we better leave away the thoughts of how evil life is, but try instead to make the best out of it.

[mantin30]

4 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

You are like some of us who were raised with the idea that intellectual excellency is what counts in life while human relationships are something secondary that does not warrant much attention.  Maybe this is an inborn inclination, but I believe it has more to do with the values we inherit from our family, parents. Unless we are sufficiently smart in our intellectual skills, this is a DEFICIENCY that can cut deeply into our satisfaction with life.  

 

Hopefully you are young enough that corrective action comes in time to bring your happiness again into the positive and you can accomplish overall success. I was lucky that my professional skills allowed me to maintain a decent career in spite of my poor human relationship skills, and now in retirement I am financially independent.  I still wish I had found a way to improve my human relationships earlier in life, but I have accomplished it nonetheless.

 

How to improve "human relations"?  My first step, mostly because I always felt like a weak person, was to divert some attention from my technical work to take up exercising.  Aerobics, weight lifting.  I made some progress with this, although exercising in itself is not much "human relations" unless one participates in a competitive sport, and I never had had any interest for that.  So for many years the "care for my human body" balanced out the intellectual in me and made me stronger.  Only a few years ago I decided to look for some type of exercising that would be more social, and I found something that is changing my life:  a martial art.

 

I have mentioned this before in this forum and I repeat it again:  a martial art like Aikido is one of the best things we can do for our body and soul.  It is a serious discipline that has practical value while it can be very social.  It is practiced with a partner and it is not competitive. We are not confronted with the partner but we learn together the techniques.  If we let the child in us go back to infancy and learn "to play together", and we put intellect aside and accept the formalities like bowing and memorize Japanese names without prejudice, if we accept to start at the bottom and respect those above us, if we learn to play down the ego and let ourselves grow, the results can be very positive. The philosophy of this art leads to self control, respect, and it is improbable that any "aikidoka" ever gets involved in a street fight.  The skills to prevail in any confrontation are mostly tools for self confidence and assertiveness.  I have been learning Aikido consistently for close to three years, and I don't think I will ever give it up. The "dojo" I go to is a very social group, we have a test (review, exhibition of skills) every month followed with a party at the adjacent home of the "sensei".  This is the fist time in my life that I feel identified with a large group of people I can feel as friends.  The teacher, "sensei", is close to a guru.  I am over 70 y. o.,  and if I had found this 20 or 30 years ago I would be at the top of the world.

 

"You are like some of us who were raised with the idea that intellectual excellency is what counts in life while human relationships are something secondary that does not warrant much attention.  Maybe this is an inborn inclination, but I believe it has more to do with the values we inherit from our family, parents. Unless we are sufficiently smart in our intellectual skills, this is a DEFICIENCY that can cut deeply into our satisfaction with life. "

 

Actually you are wrong. Before you jump into conclusion let me tell you my story. But I can understand that because I cannot expect anyone to understand everyone especially by a mere chatting in the forum. We are all not born the same. When I was studying I never think of all these things. Its just so naturally, after school (secondary) that I will do revision and study without my mother ever needs to tell me do to it. When I study I like to isolate myself in my room. I seldom hang out with my school friends.  They ever invited me to a birthday party, and I still remember how awkward I am in that party. Going out like this eventually become exhausting to me. I didn't know exactly when that I started to reject all these going out activities. My father was abroad when I was young. and my mother never ever force us to study. She never expected me to be good in study too. All she ever told me in life is that do not drink, smoke, gamble and look for prostitute. Basically, my young times are spent mostly studying.

 

I will never ever think that by holding a paper meaning I'm better than anyone. Like I said, study is just so easy, mainly memorisation but when it comes to work I'm sucks cause I don't have the EQ to tackle them. But people always think that if you have a paper then you are arrogant and try to demoralise you.

 

I did a few things trying to improve my relations skill but all failed. No matter how I force/expose myself to mingle with people, I just didn't like it. Even when doing activities that I like. I tried playing badminton with people from meetup group, running and gymming with buddy, hiking and travelling. I just feel so exhausted. and the last travelling experience with colleagues (thinking to improve the relationship resulting in a bad experience for everyone). It was so traumatic for me that I have decided to tender my resignation even without getting my bonus.

 

I'm not smart to begin with (I didn't claim I was smart when I said I was top student). good in study or passing with flying colours in exam doesn't mean someone is smart in life.

 

I brought up I'm a top students specifically to this statement:

 

"don't study and don't work then what you wanna do? do nothing is what you enjoy?"

 

That I'm not lazy to study. I work very hard but working very hard also has its problems. some people just don't like it. that's another story.

 

[mantin30]

5 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

There is a principle of cause and effect.  To WISH, to ASK, we necessarily have to be BORN.

There is no such thing as "I didn't ASK to be BORN".  This does not make sense.

And it does not make sense to blame parents for being born.  They did not "wish to be born" either, and... they didn't chose US.  They may have wished to make a baby, but WE are what unexpectedly and involuntarily came out of that! 

 

You may not have a full idea of how much life SUCKS!  The life we were given is utmost injustice!  This injustice we share with all living creatures.

This injustice is in that most probably at our unavoidable death we return to what we were before, that is, NOTHING!

One can of course have faith in religious fantasies, and believe in an afterlife of heaven or hell.

In this area, I think Buddhism is the most positive speculation with its karma and reincarnation.

As an agnostic I don't believe what is illogical, questionable. In the meantime, I feel that we don't owe GRATITUDE to any supernatural.

 

So life SUCKS!,  but it is a mistake to make this into a justification for being miserable.

If we love ourselves as we should, we better leave away the thoughts of how evil life is, but try instead to make the best out of it.

And as a matter of fact, I did not blame my parents for being born as stated in my earlier reply.

 

and that is why I'm glad I am not straight as stated in my earlier reply as I might follow the norm, get married and settle down with children.

 

"to be honest, although I did not blame my parents, but I really wish that I wasn't born. I rather not to be born just to enjoy that "fucking" good time. That's why is really good that I'm not straight cause I might get married and repeat the cycle again and again. cause there will a part of me in my children that will ask why I was born into this cruel world."

 

In my earlier reply, I mentioned I really wish that I wasn't born. but because of the copy and paste, it may look like I'm saying I did not ask to be born. Did not ask may be sounding a bit blaming in nature. But I really wish that I wasn't born and by no means of any intentional of blaming my parents.

 

In fact for me there is nothing injustice about unavoidable death. I'm not afraid of death and NOTHING is even better. all the troubles and pains will be gone.

 

and in fact again because I know how evil life and how its been bothering me that I made my own career pathway hopefully I wont be miserable in my old age. I don't want to be that guy that just study study and study without knowing how evil life is.

[Steve5380]

7 hours ago, mantin30 said:

Actually you are wrong. Before you jump into conclusion let me tell you my story. But I can understand that because I cannot expect anyone to understand everyone especially by a mere chatting in the forum. We are all not born the same. When I was studying I never think of all these things. Its just so naturally, after school (secondary) that I will do revision and study without my mother ever needs to tell me do to it. When I study I like to isolate myself in my room. I seldom hang out with my school friends.  They ever invited me to a birthday party, and I still remember how awkward I am in that party. Going out like this eventually become exhausting to me. I didn't know exactly when that I started to reject all these going out activities. My father was abroad when I was young. and my mother never ever force us to study. She never expected me to be good in study too. All she ever told me in life is that do not drink, smoke, gamble and look for prostitute. Basically, my young times are spent mostly studying.

 

No, I don't think I'm wrong.  My estimation of your situation is a good match of your descriptions about yourself (that's all what I can know about you).

You don't need to wallow in the exclusivity of a unique misery, because it is not unique. Many people experience what you do. And many people overcome their social deficiencies and find enjoyment in their relations with others.

 

No one says that it is an easy path and you have to like it.  I agree with you that it is difficult to find a solution and I described the one I found.  So I speak (write) from personal knowledge.  You can take it or leave it. You may find another solution and I'll be glad to hear about it some day.  Everything beats being consumed with self pity, with ideas of being or not being born, existing or not.  You are now in the middle of the melee, so learn to fight and dance like everyone else. 

[Guest Guest]

17 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

No, I don't think I'm wrong.  My estimation of your situation is a good match of your descriptions about yourself (that's all what I can know about you).

You don't need to wallow in the exclusivity of a unique misery, because it is not unique. Many people experience what you do. And many people overcome their social deficiencies and find enjoyment in their relations with others.

 

No one says that it is an easy path and you have to like it.  I agree with you that it is difficult to find a solution and I described the one I found.  So I speak (write) from personal knowledge.  You can take it or leave it. You may find another solution and I'll be glad to hear about it some day.  Everything beats being consumed with self pity, with ideas of being or not being born, existing or not.  You are now in the middle of the melee, so learn to fight and dance like everyone else. 

 

He has already blatantly said you are WRONG. Don't you understand ENGLISH? Or are you so STUBBORN that you think you are right as always?

[Silverwing]

After I read this thread, Somewhere inside me fells so broken that I wanted to shout and cry out loud..

and another part of me is that I feel very grateful that I never once thought in any way like this..

probably to me, my parents and my family means the world to me and there will never be anything good enough and even enough to shower them with..

 

Try to cherish their existence when there are still around.. Before it is too late

 

All the best.

[mantin30]

1 hour ago, Steve5380 said:

 

No, I don't think I'm wrong.  My estimation of your situation is a good match of your descriptions about yourself (that's all what I can know about you).

You don't need to wallow in the exclusivity of a unique misery, because it is not unique. Many people experience what you do. And many people overcome their social deficiencies and find enjoyment in their relations with others.

 

No one says that it is an easy path and you have to like it.  I agree with you that it is difficult to find a solution and I described the one I found.  So I speak (write) from personal knowledge.  You can take it or leave it. You may find another solution and I'll be glad to hear about it some day.  Everything beats being consumed with self pity, with ideas of being or not being born, existing or not.  You are now in the middle of the melee, so learn to fight and dance like everyone else. 

Everyone always think they know about the other. I have met a lot of them in my last and current workplaces. They have already a fixed mindset of what they think about us. That is plain egoistic. My religious supervisor ever told me once, how do you be so sure? Only the GOD knows everything. Well you can argue, there is no GOD in the first place. 

 

What makes you think that you think that I think I have a unique misery???? Did I tell you that or based on your assumptions/estimations?  

 

Again I didn't say it was easy. But 1 thing I learnt till now is if I didn't like it why still I need to force myself to do it? since Everyone is different. There is no one fixed solution. Why can't I just be myself in my own way. Why need to force myself to put on that fake smile? I'm not young anymore or that old either but I want to live the rest of my remaining year doing what I'm happy to do. Even it seems out of norm to others. 

 

I don't think is a self pity for just wishing not to be born. and If there is probably NOTHING after we die and we came from NOTHING. I really wish I just remain at that NOTHING status quo. Although I don't know or probably I can't feel at NOTHINGless, but somehow just the idea of NOTHINGless makes me feel so blissful.

 

but sometimes I also do feel like wearing the self pity hat. but at least I found the way that I wanted to go no matter how abnormal it is rather than struggling to fit in. Well I won't force you to believe whatever I'm saying here. I don't know you and you don't know me. Even my own  mother also don't understand me. This scenario of proving who's right or wrong is just another example of how EGO works its way. 

 

 

[Steve5380]

2 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

 

He has already blatantly said you are WRONG. Don't you understand ENGLISH? Or are you so STUBBORN that you think you are right as always?

 

Right as always?  Are you trailing behind me to see if you find me wrong?  LOL!   You should get a life.

[Guest Guest]

11 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Right as always?  Are you trailing behind me to see if you find me wrong?  LOL!   You should get a life.

 

Oh, believe me, you need not be trailed to find you wrong. Your littered wrongs all over this forum is enough to make an unmistakable landfill. This incidence here is a mere tip of the iceberg.

[Steve5380]

28 minutes ago, mantin30 said:

Everyone always think they know about the other. I have met a lot of them in my last and current workplaces. They have already a fixed mindset of what they think about us. That is plain egoistic. My religious supervisor ever told me once, how do you be so sure? Only the GOD knows everything. Well you can argue, there is no GOD in the first place. 

 

What makes you think that you think that I think I have a unique misery???? Did I tell you that or based on your assumptions/estimations?  

 

Again I didn't say it was easy. But 1 thing I learnt till now is if I didn't like it why still I need to force myself to do it? since Everyone is different. There is no one fixed solution. Why can't I just be myself in my own way. Why need to force myself to put on that fake smile? I'm not young anymore or that old either but I want to live the rest of my remaining year doing what I'm happy to do. Even it seems out of norm to others. 

 

I don't think is a self pity for just wishing not to be born. and If there is probably NOTHING after we die and we came from NOTHING. I really wish I just remain at that NOTHING status quo. Although I don't know or probably I can't feel at NOTHINGless, but somehow just the idea of NOTHINGless makes me feel so blissful.

 

but sometimes I also do feel like wearing the self pity hat. but at least I found the way that I wanted to go no matter how abnormal it is rather than struggling to fit in. Well I won't force you to believe whatever I'm saying here. I don't know you and you don't know me. Even my own  mother also don't understand me. This scenario of proving who's right or wrong is just another example of how EGO works its way. 

 

I still think that I understand you.  Even as you wear the misunderstood hat. 

I don't have any compulsion to believe or disbelieve you.

For me you are simply a topic of conversation, and having found so much negativity,

I tried to help with some positive suggestions.

 

Your case is nothing for me to feel sorrow or pity.

One reads so much about the people in Syria and other conflicted places

that one cannot see the gays in Singapore as subjected to extreme victimization.

 

 

 

[Steve5380]

3 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

 

Oh, believe me, you need not be trailed to find you wrong. Your littered wrongs all over this forum is enough to make an unmistakable landfill. This incidence here is a mere tip of the iceberg.

 

With just the tip of the iceberg of your personality here, I realize that you enjoy filling land with wrongs.

This is quite a compulsion, giving the high price of real estate in Singapore.

 

[Guest Guest]

1 hour ago, Steve5380 said:

 

With just the tip of the iceberg of your personality here, I realize that you enjoy filling land with wrongs.

This is quite a compulsion, giving the high price of real estate in Singapore.

 

 

Read properly, will you? You are the one filling lands with wrongs.

Point proven: You don't understand English.

[Steve5380]

5 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

 

Read properly, will you? You are the one filling lands with wrongs.

Point proven: You don't understand English.

 

Nonsense!  My "wrongs" only exist in your head.  But your head has no worth in a landfill because it is so empty.

[Guest Guest]

34 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Nonsense!  My "wrongs" only exist in your head.  But your head has no worth in a landfill because it is so empty.

 

Point proven again that you DON'T UNDERSTAND ENGLISH.

 

18 hours ago, mantin30 said:

 

 

 

Actually you are wrong. Before you jump into conclusion let me tell you my story. But I can understand that because I cannot expect anyone to understand everyone especially by a mere chatting in the forum. We are all not born the same. When I was studying I never think of all these things. Its just so naturally, after school (secondary) that I will do revision and study without my mother ever needs to tell me do to it. When I study I like to isolate myself in my room. I seldom hang out with my school friends.  They ever invited me to a birthday party, and I still remember how awkward I am in that party. Going out like this eventually become exhausting to me. I didn't know exactly when that I started to reject all these going out activities. My father was abroad when I was young. and my mother never ever force us to study. She never expected me to be good in study too. All she ever told me in life is that do not drink, smoke, gamble and look for prostitute. Basically, my young times are spent mostly studying.

 

 

 

[Steve5380]

3 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

 

Point proven again that you DON'T UNDERSTAND ENGLISH.

 

 

You prove again the lack of any basis for your thoughts.  You have to take what someone else haphazardly wrote to make a case because your head cannot form an opinion by itself.  It's not sure if the lack of neurons in your head can be helped.

[Guest Guest]

6 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

You prove again the lack of any basis for your thoughts.  You have to take what someone else haphazardly wrote to make a case because your head cannot form an opinion by itself.  It's not sure if the lack of neurons in your head can be helped.

 

There's nothing haphazard about what mantin30 wrote. But there sure is a serious lack of cohesiveness in your train of thoughts and your line of arguments. You need serious help. Is dementia setting on you already? 

[mantin30]

19 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

I still think that I understand you.  Even as you wear the misunderstood hat. 

I don't have any compulsion to believe or disbelieve you.

For me you are simply a topic of conversation, and having found so much negativity,

I tried to help with some positive suggestions.

 

Your case is nothing for me to feel sorrow or pity.

One reads so much about the people in Syria and other conflicted places

that one cannot see the gays in Singapore as subjected to extreme victimization.

 

 

 

Haha. Sorry to be a dick but from what I have observed I think you haven't really mastered  the art of AIKIDO yet huh from all these 3 years??? Well, I can understand that, its just merely 3 years let alone a 30 plus years old human's heart/mind.

 

I don't need any pity from anyone. I just merely voiced out how I feel to someone's reply. That's it. That's simple.

[Steve5380]

1 hour ago, mantin30 said:

Haha. Sorry to be a dick but from what I have observed I think you haven't really mastered  the art of AIKIDO yet huh from all these 3 years??? Well, I can understand that, its just merely 3 years let alone a 30 plus years old human's heart/mind.

 

I don't need any pity from anyone. I just merely voiced out how I feel to someone's reply. That's it. That's simple.

 

LOL!  You must have extrasensory perceptions to know if I master Aikido.  I don't know if I will ever "master" it, but I get great benefits from the process.

 

I agree that you don't need pity from anyone.  You can always use your own pity for yourself, but I wish you won't have any needs for it  

[Guest Guest]

If there is a minimum age restriction for people to post on this forum, why is there no age cap to prevent old dementia people from posting here?  Anyone the age of @Steve5380 should be restricted from coming here to argue argue argue everyday just for them to get in the last word. 

[mantin30]

20 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

LOL!  You must have extrasensory perceptions to know if I master Aikido.  I don't know if I will ever "master" it, but I get great benefits from the process.

 

I agree that you don't need pity from anyone.  You can always use your own pity for yourself, but I wish you won't have any needs for it  

LOL! Exactly my point. You must have a clairvoyance ability to be able to understand me, entirely, through a few words about myself.

 

Rather than self pity, I think we all should have self empathy and be more empathetic to others.

 

I wish you will be able to master it, like you said by playing down one's ego and to let oneself grow, the results can be very positive

 

[Steve5380]

8 hours ago, mantin30 said:

LOL! Exactly my point. You must have a clairvoyance ability to be able to understand me, entirely, through a few words about myself.

 

 

Your point is infinitesimally small.  No clairvoyance needed when you write so openly that you wish you were not born, what you see is the purpose of life, all negatives, all antisocial. it is an OPEN BOOK.  Please read back what you wrote and realize that you made a unique description that leaves little room to doubt.

 

Maybe if you read back what you wrote you will realize how extreme it is, and you will be motivated to think a little more positive  

[mantin30]

13 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Your point is infinitesimally small.  No clairvoyance needed when you write so openly that you wish you were not born, what you see is the purpose of life, all negatives, all antisocial. it is an OPEN BOOK.  Please read back what you wrote and realize that you made a unique description that leaves little room to doubt.

 

Maybe if you read back what you wrote you will realize how extreme it is, and you will be motivated to think a little more positive  

"You are like some of us who were raised with the idea that intellectual excellency is what counts in life..." - (1) You are wrong when you think I think intellectual excellency is what counts in life especially when you think  I was raised with that idea. That's why I tell you my story....

 

(2) but you mentioned it is not unique. "You don't need to wallow in the exclusivity of a unique misery, because it is not unique."

 

Just because its negative doesn't mean I'm self pitying myself. I'm so happy being anti social. Maybe you would say I just I didn't step out from my comfort zone. I tried a few times. But anyway that doesn't mean I'm self pitying myself.  There are far more antisocial people who likes to stay at home reading comic and etc but that doesn't mean they are self pitying themselves for doing what they like.

 

I really don't understand the purpose of life. I always pop  this question to someone I knew from different religion and its interesting to hear their stories. But I just don't get it how its been associated with self pity?

 

What if our life is just monkey see monkey do syndrome? Maybe we are just repeating and following what other people are doing maybe without knowing the exact purposes of it. I still don't know the answer yet but I do have my own encounter that makes me raising such question and been thinking about it.

 

Even if I wish not to be born especially with regards to this statement I'm replying "For people who said that they did not ask to be born, do you have such thinking when you are having a good time of your life or when you are getting a good fucx from somebody". I don't want to be born only to enjoy being fucked.

 

Even if it is extreme, you can't anyhow categorise them according to your belief system.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Steve5380]

7 hours ago, mantin30 said:

I really don't understand the purpose of life. I always pop  this question to someone I knew from different religion and its interesting to hear their stories. But I just don't get it how its been associated with self pity?

 

What if our life is just monkey see monkey do syndrome? Maybe we are just repeating and following what other people are doing maybe without knowing the exact purposes of it. I still don't know the answer yet but I do have my own encounter that makes me raising such question and been thinking about it.

 

Even if I wish not to be born especially with regards to this statement I'm replying "For people who said that they did not ask to be born, do you have such thinking when you are having a good time of your life or when you are getting a good fucx from somebody". I don't want to be born only to enjoy being fucked.

 

Even if it is extreme, you can't anyhow categorise them according to your belief system.

 

 

I also don't know the purpose of life, and I think that this is necessary in order to justify some beliefs.  This is why I am an agnostic.

 

We are quite similar to monkeys, just having different surviving skills, so monkey-see monkey-do is much of our learning, and the rest is our personal experience.  I don't remember having in my long life any transcendental "encounter", just common encounters with common people.  I agree that to fuck or be fucked does not justify having been born. (what a primitive idea...)

 

7 hours ago, mantin30 said:

"You are like some of us who were raised with the idea that intellectual excellency is what counts in life..." - (1) You are wrong when you think I think intellectual excellency is what counts in life especially when you think  I was raised with that idea. That's why I tell you my story....

 

(2) but you mentioned it is not unique. "You don't need to wallow in the exclusivity of a unique misery, because it is not unique."

 

Just because its negative doesn't mean I'm self pitying myself. I'm so happy being anti social. Maybe you would say I just I didn't step out from my comfort zone. I tried a few times. But anyway that doesn't mean I'm self pitying myself.  There are far more antisocial people who likes to stay at home reading comic and etc but that doesn't mean they are self pitying themselves for doing what they like.

 

 

I thought that because you wrote repeatedly that you study and study, and enjoy studying.  Is there some goal behind this, or you merely enjoy memorizing?

 

You may be happy being anti social, but you recognize its disadvantages, like making you quit your work.  I am happy eating chocolate ice cream,  but I recognize that it's better for my body if I eat green vegetables, made the effort, and now I am happy eating green vegetables.  In any case, I'm glad that you don't self pity yourself and don't think of ending your life. 

[Steve5380]

7 hours ago, mantin30 said:

I really don't understand the purpose of life. I always pop  this question to someone I knew from different religion and its interesting to hear their stories. But I just don't get it how its been associated with self pity?

 

What if our life is just monkey see monkey do syndrome? Maybe we are just repeating and following what other people are doing maybe without knowing the exact purposes of it. I still don't know the answer yet but I do have my own encounter that makes me raising such question and been thinking about it.

 

Even if I wish not to be born especially with regards to this statement I'm replying "For people who said that they did not ask to be born, do you have such thinking when you are having a good time of your life or when you are getting a good fucx from somebody". I don't want to be born only to enjoy being fucked.

 

Even if it is extreme, you can't anyhow categorise them according to your belief system.

 

 

I also don't know the purpose of life, and I think that this is necessary in order to justify some beliefs.  This is why I am an agnostic.

 

We are quite similar to monkeys, just having different surviving skills, so monkey-see monkey-do is much of our learning, and the rest is our personal experience.  I don't remember having in my long life any transcendental "encounter", just common encounters with common people.  I agree that to fuck or be fucked does not justify having been born. (what a primitive idea...)

 

7 hours ago, mantin30 said:

"You are like some of us who were raised with the idea that intellectual excellency is what counts in life..." - (1) You are wrong when you think I think intellectual excellency is what counts in life especially when you think  I was raised with that idea. That's why I tell you my story....

 

(2) but you mentioned it is not unique. "You don't need to wallow in the exclusivity of a unique misery, because it is not unique."

 

Just because its negative doesn't mean I'm self pitying myself. I'm so happy being anti social. Maybe you would say I just I didn't step out from my comfort zone. I tried a few times. But anyway that doesn't mean I'm self pitying myself.  There are far more antisocial people who likes to stay at home reading comic and etc but that doesn't mean they are self pitying themselves for doing what they like.

 

 

I thought that because you wrote repeatedly that you study and study, and enjoy studying.  Is there some goal behind this, or you merely enjoy memorizing?

 

You may be happy being anti social, but you recognize its disadvantages, like making you quit your work.  I am happy eating chocolate ice cream,  but I recognize that it's better for my body if I eat green vegetables, made the effort, and now I am happy eating green vegetables.  In any case, I'm glad that you don't self pity yourself and don't think of ending your life. 

[mantin30]

14 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 I agree that to fuck or be fucked does not justify having been born. (what a primitive idea...)

Exactly.

14 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

I thought that because you wrote repeatedly that you study and study, and enjoy studying.  Is there some goal behind this, or you merely enjoy memorizing?

looking back thru my student's life, that's what I have been doing. No life at all. no going out with friends or seldom. no cinema. Just TV, music, radio, book (Enid Blyton's series) accompany me thru out my school times. Basically is how I behave right now except I hate to study right now.I didn't know why either. I'm just the quiet and nice student. just study and go for exam. Is not whether I enjoy it or not. I did not even think of such question before. My mom never forced me to study also except in primary school, a day before the exam. maybe is just another monkey see monkey do syndrome with no question ask.

 

I do ask myself why I can't be like them, like my old schoolmates. They are not top students and with average grade only but I feel they have a more successful life. more street smart and more courageous. Maybe this is something inborn???

 

Cause I remembered I hate to go shirtless when I was young. I remembered there was one episode where my mother was trying to force me to wear a singlet and I was crying and refusing to wear one. I feel so naked. But now I cant wait to go shirtless with every chance that I get. I ever think that maybe I was a girl in my previous life before and somehow the mode to protect my modesty still embedded in my brain subconsciously.

 

 

15 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

You may be happy being anti social, but you recognize its disadvantages, like making you quit your work.  I am happy eating chocolate ice cream,  but I recognize that it's better for my body if I eat green vegetables, made the effort, and now I am happy eating green vegetables.  In any case, I'm glad that you don't self pity yourself and don't think of ending your life. 

For once, after the quitting of my last job, I did realise what I wanted in my life. at least living with a life goal. A little bit too late but better than having none at all or still lost.

 

I did hurt myself before in my school time by cutting my fingers with a pen knife for a very stupid reason. Maybe I still have that ego that's why I won't pity myself. I will talk about it as my weakness as to why I don't like to go there or participate that last time. Now that I have embraced it, I just nonchalantly say, yup I'm an antisocial.

[mantin30]

15 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 I am happy eating chocolate ice cream,  but I recognize that it's better for my body if I eat green vegetables, made the effort, and now I am happy eating green vegetables.  In any case, I'm glad that you don't self pity yourself and don't think of ending your life. 

But once in a while to reward ourselves with chocolate ice cream is not a bad idea.

 

I did not meant to curse you or anything, but you are already 70 plus if not mistaken, just eat whatever you like but of course in moderation. Just like my father likes to eat KFC, my mother just allows him to eat whatever he likes cause how many years left are there but of course not excessively lah. I remembered a funny story once, we have a lot of moon cakes given by our relatives and neighbours and my mother was worrying about my father health for eating too much. She asked my sis to secretly, little bit by little bit without raising any suspicion to my dog to eat.

[Steve5380]

7 hours ago, mantin30 said:

Exactly.

looking back thru my student's life, that's what I have been doing. No life at all. no going out with friends or seldom. no cinema. Just TV, music, radio, book (Enid Blyton's series) accompany me thru out my school times. Basically is how I behave right now except I hate to study right now.I didn't know why either. I'm just the quiet and nice student. just study and go for exam. Is not whether I enjoy it or not. I did not even think of such question before. My mom never forced me to study also except in primary school, a day before the exam. maybe is just another monkey see monkey do syndrome with no question ask.

 

I do ask myself why I can't be like them, like my old schoolmates. They are not top students and with average grade only but I feel they have a more successful life. more street smart and more courageous. Maybe this is something inborn???

 

No life at all? This cannot be.  Your life was simply DIFFERENT from the life of your schoolmates.  And which one was more "successful"?  Difficult to know, because you only saw the glamorous side of their lives. Who knows how they felt inside!  

 

Although you think that I may not understand you, my childhood was like you describe yours.  I was a compliant, serious kid, and I was truly happy being like that. Only later I realized that I might have missed something.  Today... I think that my schoolmates may have missed what I had, and in my judgement, I come out the winner. 

 

I have an older sister who like me had a childhood less than perfect.  We have come up with a happy solution:  nobody who is still alive knows much details of our childhood, which are mostly just in our heads.  So we have remade our childhood. We were successful and social, our parents were respected members of the community and like them we had of course many friends.  Is this real?  Nobody can know.  But these are the memories of our childhood today, and we "relish" them.  No more victims of anything, but blessed instead!